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Dec 2018 · 280
•○Are There...○•
ClawedBeauty101 Dec 2018
•H• eavenly
•O• penings
...or...
•P• ositive
•E• nterences?

•○Is There Hope?...•○
ClawedBeauty101 Dec 2018
♦Moments♦

♦In♦

♦Sin♦

♦That♦

♦Affects♦

♦Knowledge♦

♦En­tirely♦

in

♦Sorrow♦

ClawedBeauty101 Nov 2018
•†•

•Going•
♥☻♥
•Out•
•♥†♥•
•Through•
♥☻♥
•Hell•

•†•
What Being or Feeling Goth is About
But one day, that Hell will end.
This is just a phase of my life.
Nov 2018 · 478
No Apology
ClawedBeauty101 Nov 2018
Could ever make up for what I did to you
Ever...

What a mistake
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
Well, guess what?
I'm really completely broken apart inside
thrown and shattered into tiny pieces that lie
This is just am outside cover...
Impressed?
Oct 2018 · 1.0k
•E•M•O•S•
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018

•Emotional•
•Messes•
•Of•
•☻Smiles☻•

Fake Smiles...
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
This Morning... Dripping in a bleeding shadow's clothing
I lost a sense of existence as my gloved covered hands tampered with my phone... time wasting

Leaning against my black, silver chained designed backpack, pressed against a wall
I waited for my professor to come and welcome us in... I was freezing from the cold shoulder of fall

With my classmates quietly surrounding around me... Two sweaty Janitors came walking through
Ignoring their presence, my fingers only continued to twiddle again the screen,  "someone is staring at you."

My conscious warned. Frozen, behind my bangs, I cautiously move my pupils up
To catch the left behind Janitor's eyes on me... no one daring to interrupt  

His eyes started at my high heel boots, and slowly went up... studying every part of my temple
Trembling, my eyes looked away... pretending I didn't notice such a failing gentlemen example

"Hello?" He said... However, I  pretended that I did not his voice
"Hey... Good Morning!" he declared... as if to rejoice.

Very slightly, my eyes purposely hiding, I raised my head to show I have taken notice
"Good Morning," I spoke plainly, to brush him off, but he continued to admire me as if I was HIS Lotus.

" Hey, I can't see your eyes." Anger began to boil... So what?
I wanted my curtain of golden-brown hair to hide these jewels that haven't been cut.  

I moved them aside for a split second, to tease this fool..wanted to break his stem
and to reveal a hint of a cursed anger that lied within these gems

"I know" to show that they are hidden with purpose, he reminded me of a ****
But stubborn this man was, he bent down, trying to steal a glimpse

"Come on let me see your face!" He cried like a child
Trying to make thingy spicy, but it was truly nothing more than mild

He took one step closer, his face trying to satisfy those eyes that desired dark beauty
If looks could ****, he would already be dead and skinned down to the ****** bone... I'm not your cutie

One step back was the action I took as he saw what pleased him...A beautiful cat
"Now, Why should you hide such a face like that?"

He said with a smirk, trying to sound as if he was the prince for me
Not even my gloves could keep my hands warm after my heart began to freeze

Anger boiled over... knowing he wasn't saying it to be modest or kind
Snapping my backbone in half. feeling like an object... my possession was defined.

"Why shouldn't I?" I spoke with seriousness as dead as the bodies in the grave
The silence was so loud, it deafened everyone around me. My tears swell up with rage

"Tooshay" He said as he chuckled and walked away...
What a coward to give up his argument and fight... but thank God he didn't stay

...He didn't even have a defense to give... it goes to show what he was after
He didn't even try to convince me... His heart was in the wrong place... what a disaster

...I am so disappointed in men... You only see me as an object of abusive pleasure
You think you can have your fun and flirt away... Your foolishness can't be measured

WHY SHOULD I HIDE MY FACE?
LET ME ASK YOU WHY SHOULDN'T I?  His time was a waste...

I went to my first class... trembling in disgust...
I'll just continue to hide my face away from all of you... it obvious you men don't know what is true... pure.. or just...

I'm sorry for making such a fuss...

But Seriously...

Why Shouldn't I Hide Such a Face Like This?


                                                 10/15/2018
... Welcome to College Everyone... Watch Out for people like this... Avoid them at all cost... if they only foucs on the outside... they will only treat you like an object....

ARE YOU AN OBJECT OR A PERSON!?!  NO ONE SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE THIS!!!!

...yeah it's something small... but still
Oct 2018 · 223
Blank
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018

Because sometimes not even words written on paper can define how we feel.. Sometimes it's better to leave it blank...
Oct 2018 · 1.2k
Why I Hate Math
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
Negative + Negative  =  A Greater Negative Outcome
Positive + Positive = A Greater Positive Outcome

And then we know...
A lesser negative + a greater positive = an in-between-the-two positive
A lesser positive + a greater negative =  an in-between-the-two negative

and a Positive * a Positive = a MUCH greater positive

but... explain how the flipp'n heck this is possible...

Negative * Negative = Positive...
When will a negative, times a negative, equal a positive in this lifetime... when will a positive solution be revealed...
I hate math...
Oct 2018 · 268
What You Don't Know
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
You don't know what thoughts you run through my mind
You don't know what trash you'll soon discover and find

You don't know what my words behind the screen really mean
You don't know what parts of my life are filthy, and what parts are clean

You don't know or see the emotions you've caused to ask why
You don't know what you've said that has caused me to cry

You don't know what messages and signals you show
You don't know how much confusion you throw

You don't know what I want to shout and scream
You don't know what nights seem to be a dream

You don't know what hurts
You don't know what scorches and burns

You don't know what lies behind these eyes
You don't know what causes a heart to die...

You don't know... or don't want to understand...
and honestly... who in their right mind would... even take my hand

They would have to be able to see... and not be so blind...
To see this monster... and yet... still want me... and love me...
...come soon.... i'm so sick of all this stupid waiting...
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
I scream when I get what I don't want...
                                              
        ­                                but then I cry because I know need it...


Just because I want something... doesn't mean I need it

and just because I there's something I don't want to happen or gain... doesn't mean I don't need it...


                                       *Such a Conflict
Scream, Cry, Want, Need... What more can I say?
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
T - Thank you...
H - Hello...
I - I love you...
N - Nothings Wrong...
G - Good Advice...
S - So Sorry...

We all have a list... this is just mine... so what is your list of "THINGS" you wish you could say...? but don't have the time or the courage to say?...
I have this list on me... to remind my self to never be afraid to say these things when I have the chance to... because little do I know how God can use it to bless and encourage a brother and sister in Christ... or to soften a heart of those who are lost and hurting.

Thank You - Let me show my deep-hearted gratitude of all the things you say and do that touches my soul

Hello - Let me show you that I have taken notice you... and I want to focus on you and who you are and what you're going through. Let me greet you with a smile to try to make your day brighter

I love you - Let me release these emotions to show how much I truly care, that you have invaded my thoughts, my prayers, and my concerns. Let me confess what you are to me.

Nothings Wrong - Let me hide away my troubles... so I don't become a burden... or let me be honest and believe in my words that everything is indeed fine... I'm not trying to lie!!

Good Advice - Let me try to help, allow me to counsel you during this time. Let me please be a blessing... Let me provide wisdom. Let me help guide you. I care too much to see you walk away

So Sorry -  Let you show the deep regret I feel deep down, the regret that tears me in half. Accept my many apologies... knowing that I mean them.. they are more than just words... I realize my mistakes and failures...
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
I'll make your words my playlist...
and I'll play them over and over again

I'll put them on repeat...
so I am reminded that I have a friend

It is medicine to my ears...
No remix or night core modification could compare

The music that motivates my heart to keep dancing...
The beat that makes my heart keep throbbing... to show that I care

I'll make your words my playlist...
and your sentences my harmony to my melody.

No billion dollar offer could make me sell your albums...
Because you sang each word... to me... and for me... so heavenly...

Let me make your words my Playlist... and I swear...

I'll embrace and believe every word... every whisper... every breath... never to be on-air...
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay so this poem came to my mind while listening to a some called "After the Heartbreak" (Nightcore is best)

Anyways... while listening to the song, it made certain memories come to mind, which led me to think about the encouraging words of many beloved friends, and many words of the Holy Bible that I so deeply believe in.

Ehhhhhh I mean... if you wanted to, you could take it as a "love poem" but...ehhh...XP idc

I wish I could make the words of my best friends and the words of God a playlist XD, and have it play what I need to hear when I need it. they really are words to a song in my head. All of the things they say to me, I wish I could compose into a song XD. In my mind they are songwriters, and what a blessing each of them is, I can't seem to praise and thank God enough for them... Anyways... hope you liked it <3
Sep 2018 · 1.3k
Drugged and Drunk on Regrets
ClawedBeauty101 Sep 2018
Let's all be honest... for once... let us all admit this statement...
Each of us has impaled a dozy pill of mistakes... inhaled regrets fragrant

A prescription of the many countless regrets... failures... and stupid moments
They come back like a drug side effect, attacking you as their opponent

Losing your sense of reality as you drunkenly laugh at the blessings
Numb to kindnesses touch as you roll off the couch of security... nervously sweating

Openly abusing the precious, pure body of wisdom... deaf to her rejecting scream...
She stood by your side... Telling you not to take another drink... not to get lost in marijuana's dream...

A foolish smirk sneaks on your face, your mind clouded by the vape and tobacco, blocking your judgment
Carelessly touching in all the wrong places... pleasurable? Your conscious shows no lament

Your lips are a bite... Your touch is a knife... your words are a poison... to not only wisdom... for it will backfire
You are finally evicted from Illusions hallucinations... you fell for such a devilish liar.

Your brain has rung the alarm to your entire body... memories of unwise choices bring head trama
A heavy alcoholic breath escapes your mouth of regretted words... full of gossips drama

You wobble on unstable feet.. and do not achieve your desired balance...
Falling to your knees... you see the blood... the tears... and the saliva of someone who is guilty... no use in using words of parlance

No lies can hide the guilt that clokes your face...
All evidence leads you down to your fate...

"Drugged and Drunk of Regrets" was the charge placed against you... then you were sent away
But be careful... Memories, thoughts, and feelings can lead your mind astray.

"Set them free... You have been given mercy..."
The Judge granted, without one drop of regret and worry

...Mercy... You have been given mercy for your crime...
So why continue to drug your self on regrets? It's not worth a dime!!

DON'T GET DRUNK ON THE PAST!!!!
THE OLD IS GONE!!! THE PAST WON'T LAST!!!

DON'T CONTINUE TO ****** YOUR THOUGHTS OF A HOPEFULLY FUTURE!!
I HAVE DONE THAT!!! DON'T BE HAPPINESSES CONSUMER!!

We all have been Drugged and Drunk of Regrets...
but the best thing to do... it to apologize... and forget...
Apologize... and Forget...
ClawedBeauty101 Sep 2018
I'm

M ourning
I n
S erious
S orrow

for you...


...That's what it means to me at least...

What does it mean to you?... Or does it even mean anything to you?
Idk, this was kinda random, I was just kinda thinking of it walking down the hallway of my church one night...
Sep 2018 · 507
Scars...
ClawedBeauty101 Sep 2018
Scars are the evidence that wounds can be healed...

but scars are also a reminder of how those wounds got there...
Scars... Beautifully sewen so we can move on...
ClawedBeauty101 Sep 2018
It's is your security that will pay the toll...

Your confidence will be forced to pay its loan...
And it will be left with a heart of stone...

Any object of hope will be forced to be sold...
and your soul will be left bankrupt and cold...

Fear will make your emotions pay a price...
....so what are you gonna do? Pay?... or fight?
ClawedBeauty101 Sep 2018
Only fools and dead men don't change their minds.
Fools won't...
and dead men can't...
I had Chinese tonight... open up a fortune cookie... and this is what it said... pretty true right???
ClawedBeauty101 Sep 2018
I face the light... and I have to use my hand as a shield...
My pupils dilate in a painful reaction... It's too bright for me, but it can't be sealed

So I have turned my back on the light... on the sun... and it's flame...
I couldn't handle its truth... its purity... the Light and I were not the same...

So I faced my shadow instead... it laid on the ground in front of me...
I could handle the darkness better... or so I thought... It seemed to be free

But then I began to realize something strange about my shadow...
It would change its shape... it became unpredictable...it's me it would follow...

Even when I tried to follow it sometimes, it would play mind games
It would laugh... appearing to my left.. to my right... whispering my name...

There were days... I would be facing my shadow... my head hanging low...
And on my back of blackness, I would feel the bright heat of the suns light flow

Reminding me... that it was still there... reminding me it was still here for me...waiting
But my stubborn, rebellious, selfish heart ignored... its passionate side fading...

Finally... The shadow began to lead me to dark rooms...
black corners... where it would fit in with the other shadows... I was left alone... in a gloom

Too often this happened... and they abused and used all that they pleased...
Haunting me with my past... My worries... My concerns... My fears... They forced my heart to freeze...

In the night... I thought all was done out of sight and in secret
I was a slave to keeping my shadow quiet... What a prisoner I was to keep it

But soon the morning came... the Sun and its glory unleashed...
And my shadow cowardly used me as a shield...  all of the other shadows deceased.

I finally realized that I must look down on my shadow... for it is a low life of what I use to be
A beggar on the ground, dead as the graves in the dirt, a jealous mimic, and mockery

LOOK UP TO ME SHADOW!!! For it is I who controls you!!!
It is my choice how I make you stretch, and bend, and break, and move!!

My back is facing you now... and I face the sun, whose light will last!
It doesn't follow me, or make me feel low about myself because of my past

It tells me to follow it! It allows me to see!
It tells me to look up and believe!

And when the darkness comes to haunt me, it is still there.
It uses the moon, my friend, to reflect and remind me of its love and care!

It does not change its form, its light, or solar course.
It'll always stay the same and always try to be selective with its rays of force.

It provides things to grow, so I can be satisfied with its blessings.
But you? what do you have to offer? A darkening comfort of split-second feelings?

It has melted away the ice and snow, and scared away the shadows and ghost
Yes... its light is still blinding... but that pain will only provide warmth and beauty... and in this... I will boast!!!!
Thank You For Your Support
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2018
There is no rain to bring relief to our sweating bodies...
only the reign of arrows... and their offering of stabbing pain

There are no stars to put on a display of dances and twinkles...
only the rotating show of the thrown daggers

There is not a river to reflect the beauty of life...
Only the blade of the sword... that reflects my possible death

There are no clouds in the sky to soften my spirit
only the low cumulus smoke of gunpowder and ash

There is no sun to shed its bright flame upon us
On the flickers and flashes of light of ignited bullets

There is no difference between night and day... they are the same...
Only the difference is who the enemy is.. and who is the Savior...

The grass no longer grows full and abundant in luxurious green
It is constantly trampled and stepped on... leaving it withered and tan...

There is no snow...no soft white snowflakes to give us a cold kiss
Only the bites of thrown, bitter, cold shattered pieces of glass

There are no vast variety of colors to adore... only two hues
Light and Darkness... So we can tell who is for us... and who is against us

    *

The weather... and landscape wasn't always this way...
It wasn't the Lord's intentions to have such a horrific display...

What? What did you ask? What is it like on the battlefield?
Well...sit down dear child... and I will tell you...
Another Poem Relating to this will come soon... Thanks for Reading <3
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2018
I'm so sick and tired of trying...
                                          Anything I try to accomplish leaves me dying

I hate this frustration... I hate this urge...
                  God, I'm waiting... I'm trying... This feeling I want to  purge

What do you want? What is it I need to do???
        I feel so lost... so far gone on the path I need to be on... I've been removed...

Can you see my trembling hands?... That are too heavy to lift?
               They are chained to the edge... This wasn't what I wished...

My stomach is ******* in knots... My body is ripping apart
Lord...YOU PUT THE SOUND IN THIS BEATING LIVING HEART

I AM SO SHAKE'N I am grasping on to the edge.... and I can't see the bottom
You tell me to let go.... and I stare at you with wide eyes... "What's the problem?"

My hands are being scratched as I try to hold on....bleeding and fading...
"I can't see the bottom... what if I don't survive when I reach it?" My body was shaking...

"I'll be there to catch you..." "Will it hurt? Lord, I'm so scared... Don't let me go.."
"My child... look... and believe.. and trust me... let go.."

I cried out... trembling in fear... so terrified.. wishing to live.
but at the same time... wishing I could die away to escape this pain... let it give...

"Let go...." "God...No...please no..." I begged, in a soft helpless voice...
You kneel down to me, my body slowly slipping away into the challenge of darkness. "Fine... You leave me no choice..."

You cut the chains... and watch me fall...
I found myself screaming... as I curled pathetically into a ball...

I whimpered... as my hair stood on end and entangled its self into a snarled web.
The speed of winds suffocate my nostrils, the free fall of emptiness hugged me "There is no hope..." it said

Am I the name of conflict? Why does it feel like I'm stuck into this eternal free fall of the same emotion?
The color never changes... only the shadows around me seem to be growing darker and closer with every motion...

"Lord... YOU SAID YOU WOULD CATCH ME!!!! SO WHERE ARE YOU!?!"
I cry as this vertical hole began to enclose and grow thinner... and there's nothing I can do...

Banged... Scrapped... Bruised... Injured... from my body forcefully going down this narrow hole...
Blood blocking my vision... wanting to die just to escape this torment... wanting to take back control...

I'm blacking out... let me see the light again... although all of this hurts... and it feels like it's all getting worse...
it's worth going through... because, Lord... I know you'll catch me... and build me back up...but stronger... through this one Hell of a course...

\                                                     ­                                                              /
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                                                  \             ­  /
                                                    \           /
                                                      \       /
                                                        \   /
                                            PLEASE CATCH ME
         I may not understand... and I may lose a limb or two...
I may want to die... I may not understand... but I won't stop..I trust
                                                       YOU!!
8.24.18
Aug 2018 · 325
..n0Th!NG i;Z PErf3cT,
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2018
It's easy to look at something...anything... and think it has reached  the standard of perfection...

But nothing of this Earth is perfect, so our standard is nothing more then a hope or a lie

We are blinded by the flawful world we live in... we have forgot what perfection truly and only is

Perfection is Holy, Perfect, Sinless, and Blameless, and Eternal...Something we will never grasp or understand on Earth...

Never underestimate or misuse that perfect word... perfect.. for there is a far more greater meaning to it, then we will ever understand...
We can wish for perfection... and it will never come... for only One is perfect...

And that is our Holy God...

...where are you my perfection?
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2018
Every class I walked into, was a new book for me to read...
Terror had an aim on me...

and with time, it struck...

Numbness bathed me as I stepped into another Dimension, out and beyond my comfort zone

People that surrounded me, blinded my eyes, for this was a community of uncomfortable brightness, colors, and laughter.

I wanted to disintegrate into a shadow and fall right through the floor... and allow my soul to shrink and disappear.

For I stepped into an atmosphere that was unfamiliar to me...

I always looked down, for I felt like a prisoner of fear... for this is all a New World, a New Beginning for me...

I can't back down from this challenge, I'm already here...
For English today, we were supposed to write about what our first day of the College semester felt like... this was what I wrote... thought it was worth posting.
Aug 2018 · 428
To the Boy I Love
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2018
You are always there... Even when I don't want you to be

Walking either right next to me... or behind me

You know when I'm alone... and need a loving embrace

You knock on my door... demand that I open it... so I can look into your baby face

I have tried rejected the love that you offer, I have tried ignored your company

But you always found a way to make me accept and deal with it...and all so suddenly

When I am in tears or in the midst of abuse...you run and sit beside me

A partner... A friend that sticks closer then a brother... I know you will never abandon or leave..

Your eyes speak words that I know you could never speak..

and you stare at me so heavily, especially when you see me walk away and leave...

Are you bothered that you can't come along?

I can't help but want to turn around.. since this feeling of separation feels so wrong

I have corrected, forgiven, and rebuked you several times... I'd thought you hate me for those times...

But you only grow closer... and become all the more attached to me... which is more then fine

When I sit alone, and try to ignore the atmosphere I live in

You come walking up to me, sometimes bearing gifts or something to share, making me give in

But you always make sure your emotions are clear and made known

I know most of what you go through... I see you so much... how can it be ignored or thrown?

Feeling so locked up and caged? Several stair cases under?

Sometimes you come to me for guidance and comfort.. but I don't know the mind of a boy... but I do wonder...

I'm still here... I miss you so much sometimes whenever  I'm away

But I have that glorious image... of you running to me with such a big happy smile. Don't delay!!

Greet me with a kiss on the cheek, or sometimes on the hand

Your such a little fella... but you think of your self to be a proud man

But oh... the boy I love... the boy DOG I love...

The best friend that I need and don't deserve...you came from above

You mean so much to me... I love you my slobbery, fluffy, Pomeranian MUNCHKIN!!!!!!!





What?... Did you think I was talking about a real boy?
...Soooooo... How many of you did I fool? XD HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
NO REGRETS!!!!!
Seriously XD I want to know how many of you I fooled into think I was talking about an actually boy lol

Don't get me, wrong, it would be a great poem for a lover but i wrote it for my close companion... Munchkin, a Blessing from the Lord

Dog's always have that tendency to leave a paw print on your heart don't they? ;)
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2018
...I couldn't help but to stare blankly at your white, emotionless face...

The last time I saw you... You had a light full of joy and grace...

But to see that light now gone from you body left a taste of melancholy

A hood of sorrows is what hid my bitter sweet tears from them and you, what folly...

Before my aching heart could leave your presence, your eyes opened...

Your heart startled by a hug, your eyes gazed around at all of us, an opportunity, I was hope'n

You stared straight into my black stained waterfall and spooked me

When your pale, cold hand, with quickness, grabbed my hand.. and begged me not to leave..

It shook... I could feel and count every bone you used... with the little muscle strength you had...

My body trembled at your white, thin, Skeleton hand... Stabbed by the reality of loss...the insecurity was bad..

I felt so troubled and helpless... Since there was nothing from me you could gain...

"Alan...Linard...." was the last thing I heard, the last thing she said... it was her husband's name...

6 days later... 9:15pm, July 2nd, 2018...for the first time... I watched Some breath their last... and finally die...

Puzzled by how quick and peaceful a painful image thing can be.... It felt so deceitfully wrong... but I knew it was..right..

Donna... You wouldn't come back... even if you could.. you wouldn't

You in a place of paradise... pure perfection... I wont lie... I miss you.. but I know you could never return... you couldn't..
..I hate writing stuff like this.

Lord.. Thank you for finally taking her home..

Donna, you always said to me "Age Doesn't Matter" for a variety  of things I told you about... I want to always thank you for constantly telling me that...and for praying for me, and for teaching me what it means to be a prayer warrior...
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2018
Stay up late on your computer, just to ignore whats in the background...

Blasting your speak or headphones to the highest volume found?

Eyes locked on whatever is attracting your mind to the screen

Consumed by your emotions and thoughts... the things unseen

Possibly in the dark, devouring food to satisfy the emptiness inside?

Deep in thought? Lost in people, dreams, and lies?

Oblivious to the time that slip through your fingers

Not to be disturbed by any forgotten chore that lingers

And sometimes... you may break out with a sigh...

That's slowly turns into a scream...and a mournful cry....
When your alone.. dont let your past or pain haunt you...the Lord is with you and always watching over you... he is there... he is listening...its easy to push away the pain l..but if not dealt with correctly and it can be a burden.. He can help you and will help you deal with it. He Loves you ♡♡♡ I know life is hard and dramatizing
Jul 2018 · 1.4k
I'm being... Haunted...
ClawedBeauty101 Jul 2018
One little reminder is all I need from you
And you get me on my knees and tear my veins right through

You leave a ****** rub-burn on my neck as you try to hang me on
But I choke and strangle my scream of help as I try to run and be gone...


I'm being Haunted...  I'm gonna Flaunt it...
Because the cancer of lies are dragging me down

I'm being Haunted... This isn't what I Wanted...
Because I'm trying to move on but my past is nailing my hands to the ground...

I'm being.... Haunted

You see me grasping for revival...
Reminding I am only facing one true rival...

You lay my fears and weaknesses out like a deck of cards
You know this game too well... Laughing and pointing with a win as I shout, "THIS GAME IS TOO HARD!!!".


I'm being Haunted...  I'm gonna Flaunt it...
Because the cancer of lies are dragging me down

I'm being Haunted... This isn't what I Wanted...
Because I'm trying to move on but my past is nailing my hands to the ground...

I'm being.... Haunted

Physically... Stabbing...
Mentally... Spinning
Emotionally... Draining
Spiritually... Weakening

Physically Aching...
Mentally Strangling
Emotionally Drowning
Spiritually Fading

Physically... I'm so sick and tired!!!
Mentally... So burned out and unwired!!!
Emotionally... Frozen and Numb to the Bone
Spiritually... DEAD AND ALONE!!!


I'm being Haunted...  I'm gonna Flaunt it...
Because the cancer of lies are dragging me down

I'm being Haunted... This isn't what I Wanted...
Because I'm trying to move on but my past is nailing my hands to the ground...

I'm being Haunted... Lock it up in my Closet
Because I'm trying to escape the mind that as been born to do wrong

I'm being Haunted... I'm telling you I've Lost it!!!
Because I've been going back and forth between thoughts and emotions for far too long!!!

I'm being... Haunted...

I'm telling you... I'm being... Haunted....
... trying to make it into a song...

WHY CAN'T THE PAST STAY IN THE PAST AND LEAVE ME ALONE!?!?!

God help me...
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2018
So turn around and do not peek

I'll flee and I'll go and hide some place cold, dark, and alone,

When the count down ends, it is your choice, but choose quickly before my patience turns to stone

Will you look and search no matter how long it takes to set my hiding  place free?

Indeed I Will Hide...But Who Will Go And Seek For Me?
Just a poem I thought about thanks for a few of my friends
Jun 2018 · 642
The Insanity of Sleeping
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2018
4 in the morning and the thrist for rest had not stopped its fight

I try to isolate my ears from these threatening voices at night

I suffocate my face with my hands and arms to make the place seem darker

My eyes wouldn't fall for it. It only made the sleep all the more harder

My nails clenching into my skull as I try to cope with this pain

Dear God of the heavens show mercy, my eyes are red and burning... and I'm going insane
......I can't sleep... nature had won... alright lord.. what do you want  from me?
Jun 2018 · 570
My Last Good Bye...
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2018
Within every heart, there is a chain hooked up to a wall of flesh, blood and stone.

Scars open and cut too deeply, we rather thirst and drink our own blood then eat the molded food that the guards of fire and destruction serve us.

We try so hard to escape this hell inside our minds. But it almost seems impossible and mindless.

Every day, we live in a living nightmare. We would rather die than live another second in this kingdom of depression and wrath.

There is only one law, and the law is the image of death is nothing but a dream.  

We can try our hardest to desire the blood spill and the gushing out of beaten bones and origins to spill out of our weak and limp bodies, but all we'll do is spawn back into this waste land

Tears stream down the faces of many innocent broken people; they feast on each other like beast of a large skeleton bump sight,

We're tortured until our back bone is visible, and our voices are empty and numb.

Our fingers lay in pieces of flesh on the cold mossy stone floor from making meals for these zombies like monsters.

The meals are the hearts and frightened minds of our fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters; we weep for them and wish for no comfort.

**I am the only prisoner in this Endless Fire Hell that has a window in their dang room. I can see a brighter, safer, more loving place just millions of miles away.

I often reach my hand out the window, to at least feel tiny drops of refreshing rain on my black burning skin.

I cry aloud, calling for some kind of help, but I know that calling and crying won't get me anywhere.

The rain drops are the only loving thing I have, for they heal my scar and fix my wounds, the only hopeful thing that my blurry eyes and beaten hands have ever seen and felt.

Under neither this dungeon in the sky, is a vast and cool ocean that I long to swim in the feeling of freedom and satisfaction.

Within every moment as I swim in the burning and melting lava pool, oh how the lava is stained by the blood and eyes of prisoners that have slowly melted away.

Their skin slowly ripping off their skull as they scream in a high and painful voice… Oh how I long to feel the rain. Oh how I long for it.

On one faithful day, there was a great down pour, and the rain drops starts to sing in harmony with serenity and joy, which caused the stones of bitterness that surround my window to give way and crumble and fall into the sea.

I smiled bright for the first time in 16 years. I took the chance and jumped, but then quickly grabbed hold of a left over stone, my arm stretched in pain.

How silly of me to just jump and not knowing if I’ll die and spawn back here or if the guards will see me in the ocean and band the rain from this Nether.

My Arm soon gave up its last strength as my ****** hand finally let the stone go. I could feel the rain, filling and soaking my entire body,

I crashed into the ocean, my eyes closed, and my mouth allowing the water of purity to drown me, my arms and leg motionless as I began to sink.

I would rather die in something I love, than live in something I hate...
Written on February 11, 2016, 10:37 am
**During the time I wrote this, I used the "d*mn" word... instead of dang"

Alright, this is not a poem, but more of a story... so apologies if I disappointed any of you guys with that.

I wrote this poem after an accident with my family, where I fell into deep anger and rebellion. I wrote this poem to let out the hopelessness I felt, to let out the madness I felt locked up in.  I was very distant from God, from my family, from my church. Rereading this revealed to me how much HATRED I had...  I am blessed and surprised how God or even the people I know could ever forgive me...

Another way to look at this poem is without Him, We do live in a mind state of Hell. We will go to Hell, unless we escape that Hell, which s through Jesus Christ, which I would think represents the Down Pour. And when she Died in something she Loved, there are so many people who Died PROUDLY for their faith... and I know they would die for something they love, then live in a world of Hate... and I know in a heart beat I would do it... the Prison of Hell would Represent us being trapped in this world of Sin or being trapped in sin in general and how monstrous it is.... So I guess that's another way to look at it
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2018
Letter Written By: Anonymous
Gender: Unknown
Location: Classified
Time: Unsure

Alright, my fellow partners, your patience has paid off, you will now see, my promise was never scoffed

Please do, put your wonders and theories aside, I beckon, let victory and rest abide

I have seen her... Indeed I have... No Lie, I can assure.

If I may, introduce the beginning, with a normal work day for me, doing her bidding...


"Ma'am? Tis a brighter morning then usual I can assure you. The flowers in your fathers garden are full and blue"

With Pleasure I spoke as I knocked upon her white wooden door that blended in with the walls and floor.

"Tis nice dear worker, close friend... to hear such happy things... but it's those things that, very soon, disappear in the end... "

I lightly laid a gentle hand over the ****, and I not even through this letter, can I describe the ice biting concern that throbbed.

"Ma'dam, Dear lady, forgive me, but this close friend, has not seen Thy self for days, has our bond growth weak?"

Thy Ma'dam chose not to speakth for a time.  My shallow mind began to think that my words, her ears, have chosen to decline

".... Dear?" I voiced with hesitation. But comfort soon sprouted once her door unlocked it'self to me, to reveal the situation

With caution and a sense of danger, I entered my self into the room... the room that changed... along with her

How do I explain’th without sounding as if I have lost it?

Physically, nothing of the room was altered, but... the mentality and purpose of the room was disordered.

My eyes wavered on what was once colorful, and lovely, but is now dark.. but depressingly beautiful.. quiet a discovery...

"You've entered. Desperate to see'th me? Come closer then Thy servant, if you summon your agree,

"I do Ma'dam, I would not swear my life on a lie to thee. If I am, in a second, my heart, I ****"

Deep apologies for my impatient and anxious course of my next actions. Because through it, I felt a cold rock scrapping force.

I ran... Indeed I ran, how childish of me I will admit.  But my feet magnetized themselves to ground, the darkness would not permit.

"....My... my Dear Ma'dam?" I questioned, for there she gracefully stood, but deathly she starred at me, and distressful, I forgot to mention.

"Your right... it is a bright morning..." She said as black lip smile formed upon that gorgeous pale face.

Very slowly, she'd walk along the side of the curtain so more light may be revealed. Alas such glory!

"I am ashamed of you, you see me in shadows cloak... You have now witnessed the brokenness Pain provoked."

"But, my Dark Ma'dam! Why display your distress in such an abyss  of a dress?"

I questioned as I knelt at her highness's feet, the feet that had slipped into darkness; Defeat.

"Rise'th now, my brilliant friend, it is the time I stand weak where you must stand strong. A phase everyone goes through; and yes, it maybe long."

...I should'th rise... but my weak heart was rebellious to her commands... I refused... I declined to stand

Her breath did quicken, yes, a heavy burden hand laid'th on my shoulder... and it pressed

"Forgive me... Princess" I quickly spoke'th as I rose and dared to look into her eyes of starry highness.

"What I display... I dare not hide, for it is wise to release these mournful memories... to let them go... to let them die..."

I felt guilty... I'm afraid... that I felt so scared to stand alongside her... after making such a statement... cursed fear...

"Go... Do tell me when a brighter morning comes to visit me... I hope'th, that it'll be soon, possibly on the same day of the new moon..."

"A new moon? For sure Ma'dam? I don't mean to flaunt, but I feel it's necessary to warn you... those nights are quit the trap... quit the threatening haunt..."

She didn't speak'th a word, those cold shouldered eyes spoke words I didn't think eye could speak; I heard.

She turned her laced corset back towards my direction, closing the conversation, leaving my mind in suspension...

and with my pupils rearrange in focus on the sorrowful expression on my devoted one's face,  I left her presence, my happiness erased...

Can you see? Can you see the desperate help she is in? and yet you, your family, you fear-filled chickens of a flock tell me join in?

I must end this letter and not tell you anymore... If you truly cared.. I know you would come back.. if you honestly dared...

I am not fully sure what I must do'th for my dear Ma'dam Princess...
But I know the poor thing... Is the Dark Ma'dam of Distress
Just a Story I had in my head for the past couple of days... I hope you like it..

This poem is surrounding the fact on how important it is to reach out to those in darkness, to those who are in need, to those who are in help

No matter how far they have fallen, nor how scary the situation is. If it is something the Lord wants you to do, you need to trust it and run with it. And do whatever is necessary to reach out to those who are lost in darkness... some are afraid, some think it's a waste of time, and some choose to ignore the help others need. The narrator IS YOU. WHAT WOULD YOU DO in a  situation LIKE THIS!? Are you willing to take the risk?

I have considered writing another one, but most likely not. if you want me to, write in the comments below.
Jun 2018 · 457
Not Wise Enough
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2018
I believe these things of Wisdom to be true...
and more things of wisdom I wish I knew....

Some of us believe we are wise and safe enough to be foolish and to be a fool

Then some believe wisdom can be gained through the foolishness as a tool

Some of us believe we are wise enough with what we say and do when it comes to deep love

but in honesty... we are humans... who make many mistakes... and sometimes... are not wise enough...
I so wish I had more wisdom with things... sometimes I feel taken back I'm not sure if anything I say is wise or not... this poem isn't all that good, so it'll probably be deleted

We live in a fallen world, and it's so easy to believe we have great wisdom... but too easily.. we can fall
Jun 2018 · 962
DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2018
You have made my toss and turn, and fill me with guilt in my dreams and sleep

Slyly whispering in a gentle snare my mistakes that you say define who I am. You allow it to sink in deep

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

You strike me when I am limp and weak, for an easier ****

Repenting over and over again for the fool I am and was, trying to find the path I must fulfill

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

You do all you can to divide and conquer with your snake biting words
I AM SICK of fighting against your lie filled fangs, my past I know you've heard

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

I AM NOT GOING TO QUARREL AROUND IN MY PAST THAT I CAN NOT CHANGE!!!

AND I REFUSE TO KEEP MY EYES TO THE GRAVE YOU SAY IS FOR THE STRANGE

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

You use depression as a shackle on my feet, and use regret as a chain for my wrist

You lock me in the dark to believe that I am alone and convince me that it's the past I miss

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

You try to infest me with your darkness, make me believe that it is my image

You remind me what my flesh desires in a convincing voice that makes me scrimmage

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

YOU DO NOT DEFINE ME!!! THE PAST IS NOT WHO I AM!!!

WHAT I WANT AND DESIRE AND NOT WHAT I NEED!!! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A SCAM!!!

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

You have forgotten that there is still life and light in me, and so have many others

You believed I was contained, but even the Messiah escaped, isn't that such a pother?

DEVIL YOU AND YOUR LIES ARE NOTHING TO ME!!!

THIS FEAR WILL NO LONGER KEEP ME AS A PRISONER!!!

AND YOU WILL NOT KEEP MY LIGHT HIDDEN AWAY THROUGH HIM I AM VICTORIOUS AND A WINNER

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

You can threaten me all you want with your reminders of my mistakes

But I have been given new life, I will not be drowned in your lies that make up your flaming lake

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

You have forgotten that the flame you love hides a light that burns

I can allow it to melt away the things that bring me down... it is now my turn...

My turn to be set free... and my turn to define all odds through Him...
NO DEVIL! YOU DO NOT DEFINE ME!!!

Forgive me if this poem wasn't at all very good... I plan on revising it but I just had to write this...

June 6, 2018 4:37am
May 2018 · 493
How do the mice feel?...
ClawedBeauty101 May 2018
When they see their off spring being lifted out of their place

Hung by their tail, they squeal and cry for their parents recuse, their heart's race.

Devastation stings their round soft ears as they run for their baby's call

But as they see the hand raise their child over their height of limitation, their hopes and dreams fall...

It was too late... SMACK went the poor, frail body and skull of the little one...

The hand quickly slammed it against the table... Now knocked out...no way to escape or run

SNAP The ******* forced its neck bone to submit to their strength

The parents time of grief and mourning had no length

Frozen shock is the only expression that defines their baby mouses face

In a Blank stare of horror as the blood dripped from their once beloved babies lips... leaving a ****** taste

They scurry away in disbelief to gather the rest of their kin
that still remain alive...

Because they'll never know who will be up next... to be forced to give up their life... and die

*Because... Something always has to be sacrificed... in order to keep something else alive...
In order for something to continue living, it seems like something always has to be sacrificed, whether it's money or food or animals or whatever.  You see, if sin never came into this world, any sort or sacrifice wouldn't be necessary. but we live in a sin-filled, blinded world. We fall into sin, so many times, and death is apart of the fall of sin. We were never meant to die, but now sin has come, death is now apart of this life.  Jesus SACERFICED himself on the cross so he may save OUR LIVES from Hell. So when WE DIE, We may be with Him.

I don't
know,
call me weird but when I had to do this procedure when feeding snakes and other animals mice, this is what I think of... Saving things require a sacrifice...
May 2018 · 679
Living in an Inverted World
ClawedBeauty101 May 2018
Can you envision it now? An Inverted World?
Where colors go beyond their definition...

Shades of shadows transforming as beams of white
They do the opposite of their given mission

Praise the Lord we don't live in an Inverted World
Where Comfort and Chaos try to share one frame

The morning's flawless innocent white clouds scatter away and are replaced by black clouds that will start a new reign

Our minds will try to solve this puzzle as a sun of dark radiance blast it's curse over the nation

The forgiving pink roses turn against us as their petals allow green jealousy to manifest their vision

The diamonds that covered the sky at night would only be small shadow reminders of the new sun that leaves us breathless

The Night would be purer then Daytime it's self. The Elements water and fire would have switched identities. These changes are endless

Praise God we don't live in an inverted world. Where our skin looks like it was painted in ashes

Or for those with a darker tone, look like their body have been invade by an icy storm encouraged by magic

The Lord instructed color to have a meaning, commanded nature to have a destiny and a desire...

Again, Thank you Savior, for your mercy of an orderly world, where shades are in their places, and harmony is not a liar

Coloration embraces it's role and refuses to fail it's task to symbolize it's emotion...

How truly lucky and blessed we are..
*That We Don't Live In An Inverted World...
Embrace it...
For it is His mercy...
Apr 2018 · 490
PAPER DRAGON CONFLICT
ClawedBeauty101 Apr 2018
I started out simple... Flat, plan, and white...

The first few folds were easy... But it's finished form was far from the light

"What is it? What is it?" They constantly asked

I didn't answer them, because I wasn't even sure if I was going to be able to complete this task.

I folded, twisted, and bended the paper in many ways

And when I had to throw it away... I heard laughter of great dismay

Continuous fails... At creating a sensitve beast

Different structures brought different problems with every crease

Doubted, Slandered for even trying, over something fragile and small

What threat could this Paper Dragon be? Into the trash it falls...

Origami is window that makes the weak paper stand out as strong

Conflict built its wall, Tension rested its tent, is what I'm doing wrong?

Hands stiff from determinations curse... At last it was finished

Excited to reveal my plan for such a magestic beast.. But too soon that was diminished

Although it was white and pure, its appearence and identity was shamed

"Why a dragon? A symbol of Satan, A sign of distruction, Hell as a name?"

Can you stop seeing me and the things I create all a symbol of darkness within me?

You say I am what I create, and I can't say that you're wrong. So this is what I want you to see

I am that dragon... You think all my words are out to melt and burn

You think I am strong enough and big enough to take on your drowning waves you think I've earned

But I am a Paper Dragon... I look strong and fierce... But I can rip so easily

A simple motion of pulling me in different directions can bring the end of me

I run to you with my webbed wings spreaded across the sun burst sky

Greeting you with a firey smile, and a glowing warm heart... And yet I'm despised

A sword is impaled through all the scales you assumed were tough

They surrendered as easily as paper... And down I went...only wanting to be loved

I am Paper Dragon... I'm not dangerous... I'm not evil or bad!!!

I am of creation!!!  If I use my ferious fire on you, it is to protect me from you... Which is sad...

I have been Labeled... Along with the things I create

Isn't it amazing? This majestic paper king of the fire in the sky... Can't you relate?

You call it a demon... You call it a mimic and a mockery of purity and light

... I AM A PAPER DRAGON, BLACK AND WHITE WINGS SPREAD WIDE AND BRIGHT

... If you don't want the fire the Lord has gifted me with to melt your ice...

Then alright... But I won't allow your waves to soak me and wash away this life...

I'll be perched on a hight mountain top, looking over you and your waves from a far distance...

You wonder why I'm so far away...  Why you feel so much resistence...

My glowing charcoal eyes you can still see... You grow more confused and ticked!!!

All because... Of this Paper Dragon Conflict...
I made a Paper Dragon Card for a dear friend of mine a few days ago and the response I got out of working so difficulty and ******* it was not what I was expecting...

Dragons I know are one of the most misunderstood and misjudged creatures... They were once living things, they are an animal, no different then the dog or the bats or dinosaurs... Along with snakes, theu are seen as evil, but it doesnt mean they are themselves are evil... Theu can represent something, but it doesnt mean that they are what they symbolize or represent...

It's loud and clear that there are so many things that I do or make that causes question to my family... But I know that these labels and discouraging words are to test me... To see if im going to fall into focusing on pleaseing them, or focusing on who the Lord says I am and focus on making sure I am becoming more like me and my reason for doing or making something is good and is for His glory.

All I can say is... Thank you for accepting and appreciating the Paper Dragon, that was a deep relief for me. XD

It taught me alot while making it, and I know the Lord had strangely strengthen throuh that long hard drawn out process

Happy Late Birthday? XD lol sorry I had to write this poem, dont be mad at me.
ClawedBeauty101 Apr 2018
Where was it I left off? Oh yes, the rebellion of a slave to its master

I Believed my deceitful heart knew the way, but the way to disaster

As the days visited me and went, the colder I grew, and the more beauty fled

I scratched, I punched, I kicked, I hit the doors to try to break them open... and continuously I bled...

My eyes grew white and blind... so I could not see the destruction I was causing to myself and around me...

I was so certain that this hall was the hall where my life would unfold, where I'd find everything I could ever need...

Skin chipped away, muscles scrapped slowly down to the bitter bone...  I refused to have anything heal

I made a blood pool mess of pride at the entrance... along with a few puddles of a broken deal...

My God did not leave me though... He was there... but within spirit... but I denied it...I didn't care about my loss of purity

"Do you not have trust?" A young blonde servant whispered, kneeling to my level of insecurity...

"Why continue to make your self suffer when you can rise again?"

"And what reason would I have to rise? My desired fellowship will never amend..."

I intended to be rude to show her kindness and words were not welcome here

"You sound as if our Master is unfair... You doubt him.. you doubt his decisions, His choices, it's that clear..."

"You must be in His favor... To be so hopeful and life filled... Do you even have the slightest taste of suffering?"

Her knees laid in my pool of blood, her blue jeweled eyes stared into mine, my mind constantly puzzling

Closing those sapphires, and reopening them brought forth a vision of her past or tormenting love and tears

" Foolish girl... You're selfish to believe you are alone in this feeling... I was ONCE lock in your cell... Trapped by fear"

"And there are more down another hall who would know that pain all too well... Please... arise and come with me..."

"Why?.... What's the point when I have already fallen and failed and there is no possible better beauty..."

"They can answer your doubts and questions since they have had the same shoes..."

".... but I'm too blinded to even see my self... all I see is strangely you.." I tried to look down... but pain wouldn't allow me to move

"Then I guess you have no choice but to trust me... Do you think you can treat your wounds if you can't even see your own body?"

Anger irrupted inside of me... Only because I know this Blonde was right. So with her guiding hand, I rose to my feet

My soul screaming and shouting... Begging to rebell... but how could I? My body was dying and in defeat...

One warm white skinned arm wrapped around my brittle waist to guide me to the other side of the castle

A trail of blood footprints followed behind me... As I felt the connection between my flesh and the beaten door hassled

Trying to carefully slip away... I could feel the strength in her arm... there was no escape

So off me and this Blonde went... Leaving behind the hall that I want and also, or so I thought, the Hall God had planned and shaped...
.....sorry it took a while... Part 3 should be out soon if you guys still want it.... again sorry about that...
Apr 2018 · 555
Who Would?... (2)
ClawedBeauty101 Apr 2018
I slash my eyes into your version and allowed my dress to sway

A sly grin on my "innocent" face, you thought my lips couldn't pay

"Who would? Be honest, Who ever could?"

"That is the question... Who could ever love me? Some just believe they should"

"But just because they believe they SHOULD doesn't mean they can or COULD... Understand?"

"Only someone with unconditional forgiving love could. Godly love is rare in this land"

"Who could want? Someone with a forgiving, merciful, kind soul. Yes very few."

"But those very few are one of the biggest blessing I needed. Our Savior knew."

"And I know because of Christ, we'd fight for one another. My Savior would fight for me"

"A worthless, rebellious, burning, wicked, soul torn. disturbing, confused flea"

"A sinner, a shadow, who only hides to prepare the perfect timing to fight back"

"Fight back with love, kindness, mercy, and wisdom, This world's system I will hack"

"He sacrificed himself for a shadow, He gave up his life to save me from Hell's flaming bed sheets

"I'M ANSWERING!!! I AM LOOKING AT ME!!! I HAVE BEEN FOR WEEKS!!!"

"I KNOW  HOW DISTURBING  MY SINS ARE AND HOW WRETCHED MY WORDS CAN BE!!!

"BUT THAT GOES FOR EVERYONE!!! I HAVE PLENTY TO SAY!! MY VOICE ISN'T WEAK!!!"

"Yes... I may be like a Cat, but this wild cat is still being tamed!!!

"Jesus lended his hand, He lended his hand to be nail to the cross, a cross of shame..."

"His body was the payment, his blood was the price, his perfection and holy life was the cost."

I felt my heart grow hot as I seen their mind was far from lost

Like dust they disappeared with the wind and I looked back into the mirror of myself

It's funny how we can lie and deceive ourselves... and put the truth on the shelf.

The dear Lord knows I struggle with a double thinking mind

I know the Lie and I know the Truth, as long as I seek him, solutions and peace I know I'll find
Who would?... Jesus Christ
Along with the Brothers and Sisters in Christ that He provides

Cat Lynn ///
4-1-18
Apr 2018 · 417
Who would?... (1)
ClawedBeauty101 Apr 2018
"Who would?..."

I turned towards them in question, misunderstood

"Exuse me?" Who would what?"

It was Easter Sunday, the beginning of a cut

"Who would ever love you?"

"Who would want you? Very few"

I wanted to fight back, but my request was ignored

"Honestly, to think someone would fight for you without a reward?"

"Who would give up their time to face your burdens?"

They're mission to destroy was more then certain

"Who would seriously sacrifice themselves for a shadow?"

"Who would burn up their own lives to save you from Hells flaring meadows?"

"Answer me!!! And look at you!!!"

"Look at your disturbing sins and wretched words! You know it's true!"

"Are you mute?! Have nothing to say??"

"Come on answer!!! You black cat, who hides in the brightness of day!!!"

"Who could... Who would... even dare to lend a hand?"

"And give the price of their own body and blood?... No man.."

I starred, anger under my breath, my vision becoming watery and unclear

What was my response? You really want to know?... Then wait then til tomorrow, a new poem will be here
Feel free to write a response about what you'd say or think or whatever

Cat Lynn ///
4/1/18
Mar 2018 · 598
.... She Said To Me ....
ClawedBeauty101 Mar 2018
"I wish I was you"
She said to me
What did I do?
I just laughed

"I can't do anything without you"
She said to me
What did I do?
I scoffed and mocked

"I wish I had your life"
She said to me
What a blade...What a knife
For she does not truly know me if she wishes that

"I'd trade my problems for yours any day"
She said to me
Dear child, don't think that way
You don't understand the scars and wounds I am hiding

"I'll follow you every where"
She said to me
I might lead you to destruction and darkness, beware
You shouldn't be following me anyways

"I wish I had your talents and beauty."
She said to me
Stop it child... Stop wishing that you had my duties
For even Beauty can be used for evil.

"I wish I had everything you have"
She said to me
Oh? You mean the abuse I suffer and the labels of wrath?
Don't wish for everything... Don't covet.

"I wish I knew every part of you, every lair"
She said to me
No you don't.... Because I have both dreams and nightmares
Just like all sinners, I have a corrupted side

She said to me...
You know what?
No...
Why go on?
When I can make it shut up?
and choose not to care
and have them learn
the hard way
why
they
shouldn't
wish
they
were
me
and
be
happy
to
be
in
th­eir
own
skin...
JUST BE THANKFUL YOU WERE GIVEN LIFE!!!!!
STOP COMPLAINING AND COMPARING
I AM A REBELL SINNER JUST LIKE YOU!!!

When I say mean, I'm not talking about just ONE girl, It's referring to a BUNCH of girls who have said this to me before.

Cat Lynn ///
3/28/18
ClawedBeauty101 Mar 2018
If I allowed my hand to get acquainted with a calm blade
and allow them to work together to have my grave made.

It would be so much easier

If I gathered all my possessions and left the challenges and callings
and ran away from all my troubles and problems that won't stop falling

It would be so much easier

If I took a bullet to these warm feather breezed feelings that stir up the winds
and forced unwanted emotions to take command, and avoid the punishment of being mentally skinned

It would be so much easier

If I gave up my fight... and simply lose the battle of my individuality
And accept their Labels of Lies and give them the right to make me wear a mask that is beautiful but beastly.

It would be so much easier

If I accepted my fate in depression and abuse and allow it infest inside of me
and be as dark and gruesome as I've always been tempted to be

It would be so much easier

If I chose to ****** all the things I've worked hard for
By throwing them over the wall of rejection... and watch it shatter onto the deep floor

It would be so much easier

If I ignored all the beloved people who surround me and would do anything
And focused devouring myself back into the past until I'm nothing more then bone and ****** strings

It would be so much easier

But Just Because It's Easier...
It Doesn't Mean It's Right...
I won't lie, there are so many temptations out there that can cause me to drift away from the will of God. There are so many things that would be so much easier to do.... but just because it's easier it doesn't mean it's right... Sometimes we need those struggles and challenges to make us stronger, to make us better. These temptations are so addicting I'm sure to many of us. An easy path can lea you to a path of destruction and misery

May God Continue to Guard my Heart and Direct my path on the path of Life, Light, and Wisdom...

Cat Lynn ///
3/24/18 - Progressive Dinner
ClawedBeauty101 Mar 2018
I'm going to tell you a story about what a relationship in this day and age should look like

Except this isn't my story to tell. This story goes to the wild Turkey's, for love, they will fight

You see, I work at a rescue center, and we have 4 turkeys. 3 male, and 1 female.

The one female and 2 of the males are rescued.  The last male is a wild turkey. He visits every day without fail

He flies over the fence to visit his female, and she never loved another, not even with the other two

Although there were other wild females, and other recused males, they were determined to keep their loyalty true

And true and loyal they both have always been, and when one of the other males tried to attack

or scare Her love away. The female won't just stand around, she'll put on a fight, and peck at their backs

Their backs are bare, they learned the hard way. Not to mess with loyal love. He can't stay away

Even when I or any other people try to frighten him off, it won't stop him, he still comes every day

If only people could have a strong, loyal, love fighting relationship like these two turkey's.

They've been like this for 4 years... What a lovely lesson we could learn... It's something I want for me.
Turkey's.... Romance... What???? XD XD XD

This is a true story though, sometime I'll post a picture of them but it is the sweetest thing... I've never heard of a better loyal animal love story and it's like.... why can't people be JUST as willing... JUST as loyal.. JUST as faithful... and JUST as willing to fight for one another...

The Lord has taught me so many things through animals I wish I could share to more... but not everyone can relate and I guess thats why i don't share them that often. I hope this at least touched your heart and if you want to read more poems about lessons I've learned from animals, Please comment ;) I would be greatly encouraged by that... I know this poem... isn't really that good but.. I really felt like I should write about it :) Thank you!

3/22/18
Cat Lynn ///
Mar 2018 · 1.8k
Porn At Our Finger Tips
ClawedBeauty101 Mar 2018
On the screens...
In the model scenes...

In the magazines,
In the places we believe are unseen

We have all the ******* we could want and "need"
It's in our hands, at our finger tips, your flesh is filled with greed

Hastily eating all you can **** out of what your distracted eyes see
Satisfied? Never, Then continue to watch that **** view, then wash that history clean

You know you the ***** feeling you desire!
That shakiness that makes your heart grow mad and burn like insanities fire.

If responsibility did not exist, that would be your main priority, fall lewidly into the dark
To feed that starving flesh the images it need's to get that spark


Enjoying it?....  Tired of it yet? Too Soft? Too Hard?
Too Slow? Too Fast? Watch whatever actions you want, you're the one playing the cards


But listen to a different side of *******...


A "beauty" in those pornographies has laid a target on my type of beauty
I didn't ask for it... I didn't desire it... I didn't want it... I felt filthy...

Several men who thought they had the complete authority,  physically abused...
Mentally harming with words, because of conviction, because of being accused

Refusing to give up their poison because it gives them the attention that makes them moan
Sometimes.. watching things aren't enough... time to give varginity a loan

....Almost have been ****** assaulted more then once... and forever my soul have been torn
Some girls and boys have experienced much worse... *****... killed... suffered.. WHY ALLOW ALL THIS ****?

WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT!? YOUR ****** EMOTIONS?
OR A HURTING NATION THAT IS BEING DESTROYED BY THIS ****** DEVOTION!!!!

....The more you feed it... with your mastrabational retuals
Or whatever... the more it'll want to consume... it won't stay netrual

....It has burned up families... marriages... friendships... and relationships
And even has devoured the heart of those who enjoy it... Who think it's a fun strip

...I am warning you... we are tempted left and right.. it's every where we see
We are not strong enough to resist the temptations... we are of the flesh; weak


Please don't waste your treasure filled bodies or lips...  
We Have **** At Our Finger Tips...







Only God can save the death of humanity... And help us end these ****** struggles...
*And Only He...
(Yeah... it's a sloppy draft sorry X_X)
Let me be the first to say this... I AM SICK OF IT!!! **** IS DESTROYING THIS COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE ALLOWING IT TO DESTROY NOT ONLY OTHERS BUT OURSELVES TOO!!!!

Okay i took a BIG step with this poem... and I know I was very straight forward and bold with this

I'll probably loose followers XD lol

but... it's true
it's something my family has been suffering with... We  don't know who we can trust... who won't hurt us... who won't trick us... **** destroys reasoning

It affects everyone... it may seem fun in the moment... but it will leave you empty just like everything else in this world... I am not perfect I have fallen into it...won't hide that... and believe me when I say this... Not only have I done it, I have experienced the affect of  it other people and how they treat others... including me...

Don't do it... end it... what pleasure is there when there is a free gift of eternity waiting for you through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

If  ANYONE has any questions please feel free to message me or leave a comment below...


Thank you

Cat Lynn ///
3/20/18
Mar 2018 · 460
Caught In The Web
ClawedBeauty101 Mar 2018
Like a fly, I am capture too easily and quickly by the beauty of others...

Their web traps my gullible mind... and cages in my withering body... they couldn't choose another...

My vibrational screams of mine only caused their monster within to awaken....

Their eyes filled with delight in the blood dripping pain they'll cause, their fangs break in....

Finally... their scheme is revealed through their venom, and slowly... life is ****** out of me...

Senses betray me... as I am dropped from the laced-up web kingdom... dry and lifeless...but I can still see

I was caught in your web once...but when I come back... I swear I won't get caught in it again...
MEANING BELOW

Sadly... I must always remind my self that we are fools... And we all can be deceived and be fooled and fall short...

It's so easy to get caught up in people, with their kindness, knowledge... but we must remember they are human...And they will fail you... and they will mess up...

The Fly can represent anyone... Anyone who looks up to someone, someone who is high in the knowledge of Christ, Spirituality off the charts... or anything

The Web represents us easily getting caught up in the glory and positive "they could do no wrong" mind set...

The Spider represents the sinner that they still are... They will make mistakes, however, for those who get too wrapped up in the web, see it as a BIG DISBELIEF. They are shocked and CRUSHED and DESTROYED AND HURT....

So this is why we shouldn't make others seem like they are higher then all of us, we can't lift them up too high... nor think of them as almost perfect... because it will crush us.... it's not bad to look up to someone however... There is a limit, and sometimes it will cause us to look down on our selves...

The falling of the fly represents the the looking down on one's self from looking at someone as more superior, OR it can represent the BROKENNESS  in love and trust....

The blame depends on the situation. Sometimes the spider may be innocent and the fly is guilty for it's thoughts

or the spider can be guilty for and the fly is innocent...

So...who is innocent in your story?
ClawedBeauty101 Feb 2018
A little bit ago a friend of mine gave me a book

and little did I know that when I started to read, it would soon get me hooked

Reading life changing events of every characters and the struggles that they go through

when they fall and do something foolish I can't help but to break and kneel and barely move

because I know there people in this world who make the same stupid choices and mistakes

they have misguided thoughts, acting without thinking, and disrespect the opposite ***, my tears become a lake

I don't cry because of a conflict within the story line

I cry because I know there are fools out here in reality who live similar lives
(This poem will probably end up being deleted but... Thought I'd give it a shot at least)

It's sad how you see character a person real life do something are goes through something and you know what's going to happen next and you're so frustrated you can't do anything about it, and the times you are able to do something about it you're too afraid to... If you remain silent, you have no clue that you are just as much of a fool as they are

STRONGLY SUGGEST READING KAREN KINGSBURY "Fifteen Minutes"
Feb 2018 · 521
Twenty-forth of February
ClawedBeauty101 Feb 2018
T* wo
W eeks
E arly...
,
N ot
T he
Y oungest...
,
F orever
O btaining
R adiant
T wo
H ues

O nly
F or

F ew
E yes...
,
B right
R ivalries
U nite...
,
A new
R elative's
Y earling...


                          *Hello Again, My Reminder Of my Birth

                                                     *2-24-00
(I don't know why the strong thing is up there it's suppose to be **T**.. of well XP
...okay not the best poem...but it was something different I wanted to try?

Okay for those who didn't understand it, but something that has been passed down in my family are two different colored eyes, they aren't that noticeable like they USE to be when I was a baby but if you stared into my eyes, and looked around the edges... you can see how different they really are. My uncle on my mom's side had them, and before him my grandfathers brother had it. It's been passed down for generations. And that was the first thing they noticed with me when I was little. I was forced to be born 2 weeks early, so I was a pretty small baby XD. but.. yeah... although i wish they were more noticeable... idk it's always something I've been proud to have... I am the second youngest of my family,  although i was SUPPOSE to be the youngest. ....but yeah..

The Yearling Part is weird I know, but a yearly refers to an animal of new birth, Since I am called "Cat" and so was my uncle, some say I am his "yearling" if you will.... yeah it's weird... idk XD

Idk it's a strange Birthday Poem I wanted to try I didn't know else what to write or even how to write it XD forgive me if it's terrible

Thank You Lord <3

Cat Lynn ///
2-24-2000
Feb 2018 · 547
This Kitten Has Claws ///
ClawedBeauty101 Feb 2018
Look into my eyes...
I promise you this adorableness is a disguise

Look at me...
I'm small, thin, fragile, and weary

You could call it fur, what surrounds my face...
A brown thin curtain covers me, a soft lace

My eyes will fool you
A cat with two different colored jewels, this trait goes to few

Yes... I have many traits
That makes you think of me as a kitten... but just wait

But you must be warned
I may look like an easy catch to hold and cuddle, but many skins have been torn.

You may only see cute soft gentle paws
But remember... This Kitten Has Claws...
An adorable kitten sneeze will trick your minds
Into thinking there is nothing strong nor hard inside

A comforting purr may sweep you off your feet
But I will speak through the cursing of a hiss, my fangs have a fleet

I thirst to fight, to take on the battle with other warriors by my side
I refuse to simply let the wind sway my whiskers and tail away from this tense tide

My Commander... Tell me to take my place... I'll use my weapons for you...
My fangs to speak your truth, my claws to protect those who can't. I wish to do more...more for you...

Cat Lynn ///
Sunday, 2/18/18
ClawedBeauty101 Feb 2018
I rushed to you...  in my light weighted white servant dress.. into your main hall way of many plans...

My Lord... you stood there... your back towards me... but slowly, you turned around and motioned me to come towards you

My eyes did not loose focus as I ran up to you and knelt before your holy presence... and lifted up my hands

"You called for me Oh Lord... What do you ask of me?"

"Another hall of rooms requires your skill in cleaning and organization." Was his command

"A....Another hall?  More rooms?...." I questioned, my head lifted up to see cold sincerity take over his faithful eyes

A single finger pointed in the direction I never thought it would point... I felt my jaw drop...my legs.. I couldn't stand

"My Lord... That hall... Are you certain?" I asked with hesitation. But questioning him only made the answer more clear

"Does the Perfect make mistakes?" His question to my question was my answer... My mind sunk like sand

"...Forgive me but...All the rooms?" I said as my voice lost it's life filled sound... My eyes leaking as I caught a glimpse of the dark unknown rooms...

He grabbed one of my hands and made me stand on my feet. Knowing all of my doubtful thoughts... since I am apart of man

"I will open and close the doors as I see fit in My Perfect Timing... Just obey and trust my words my Good and Faithful Servant..."

I shook my head... I saw strangers... I saw places I never wished to visit... I felt my plans being hanged

"But...My God...what about the hall I've been asking to do for several years? When will I do that one? Why can't I do that one?"

I heard the doors of that hall slam shut, within a gasp of a breath I turned around... pupils shaken.. mind banged

"Thy Will Be Done... Do you not trust my judgement of having you do this hall? Do you not hear nor see your calling? Christina? "

"STOP!" I screamed as I dared to flee form his royal company... and rebelled against his command... My heart beats jammed

I crashed my small frail body that slowly grew gray and dark into the doors of the hall I desired...

I screamed... I shouted.... I wept... I begged... although I knew His mind would never be changed... My wants were ******

"Please... I have so many plans for this hall... maybe if you just listened.... I can't see my self in that other hall..."

I heard His unshakeable foundation of foot steps grow louder as He walked in my direction... reminding me of his demand

"Don't you believe I have plans for you in that other hall? Maybe if YOU just listen to me... You'll see why I see you in that other hall"

I was a fool to try to convince Him...but there was where I remained... refusing to move...for I didn't understand...

Forever by my side He remained...despite my disobedience... I tried to push Him away from me.. from my plans... my hopes

But little did I know what He had in store... as I saw people from the other hall walk towards me... hearing Him say "My plan for you... is Grand..."

*Thy Will Be Done...
Unsure about a Part 2... What Do You Think? Write it in the comments below...

Thank you <3

Cat Lynn ///
For Dates 2/9/18 - 2/11/18
Feb 2018 · 277
Self Control (12 w)
ClawedBeauty101 Feb 2018
The Determination To Retake Control Of What Was Once Apart of
**You
The Personal Struggle Is Real
Only A God Can Help Anyone With A Sinful Struggle
Self Control Is Just A Big One For Me Right Now...
Thy Will Be Done

Cat Lynn ///
2/8/2018
Feb 2018 · 458
A Stage of a Black Rose
ClawedBeauty101 Feb 2018
A wilting rose is slowly regaining it's strength after years with out sun or rain...

And finally it's leaves reveal their greenness of hope. It's Mistress beauty remains

For once it speaks out from it's slowly blooming petal's within. Weak and soft, sick of being haunted

I can't see myself to be something that is beautiful or worth loving or wanted...

A small grain of grass speaks into it's almost lifeless soul, waving in the wind to catch the beauty's attention.

Why can't you? Look at me! I am simply green! With thousands of others who share the same attraction!

And here you are! The jewel that stands out alone! An easy target for the eye!

And what is it I hear? A selfish complain? Your Midnight core wakes up the dead inside!

Madam of Dark Matter! Your shades of shadows break out the harmony of dreams!

You inform the creatures of this world the realness of death and how it's not what it's seems

You contain an elegance that many have labeled as wrong. You have qualities that are beautiful and rare

Should you put to shame the gift the Lord has placed in you individually?  Stop being so scared!

The thorns of her small thick body grew in a hurtful rush, tears from  yesterdays rain returning

What if my thorns of protection become a burden, What if I were to become a bush, would they stress out because my arms are reaching?

The single small piece of grass dangle with the rest of it's family in the wind, it's eyes locked on beauty in distress

Look out into the distance and you will see a family of me. There are billions of us, we were created to bless!

Though there are so many, we are never a burden, for we are the carpet of nature's foot steps.

We guide new members of the ground and dirt, We build them up to lift them from the depths.

Be in praise you have thorns! For too many are foolish not to protect them selves from danger

Stand your ground and deepen your roots. Do now allow your blossom to desire to go back into the dirt as a stranger

Everything has a purpose... everything has a time... everything has worth when it is used for the creator of our universe... Follow his words! You won't be lead astray!

These words of hope can save and change and dire helpless bud. Sadly too many of natures treasure have too quickly withered away...

The Black Rose did Blossom and bloom and reached it's leave out to the heaven's. Through it's growth it produce more life.

It became protection to those who were too weak, It became a symbol of true love, and became the proof that faith is a guide

Not all stories end so happily and glorious... that's why WE must spread out the message of hope like plants spread their seeds!

Before... like the strand of grass, we surrender to the ground... for everything has it's time to fade... Death is a need

The closeness of loyalty will stick by you, like the roots of a rose, it will be with you until your final days, and last breath

Good Bye... My sweet dew grass friend... The God of Creation has used you and you have completed your task... please... welcome your death!

You will finally gain your reward... For you have been used to pull me out of my darkest stage in life... and I thank our Creator for his provision!

But now that your gone... I too shall be used to awaken others from their dream, and bring them out from their stage... of depression...and fear...and *SIN
Praise the Lord that I have been forgiven...


Cat Lynn ///
February 3, 2018
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