Juno Sep 10

I guess I chose these faces
When one speaks, the other wishes it erases.
They'll never know how I hate them.
I sometimes want to be somebody who is new.
And I sometimes hate to be told the truth, because I love drowning in it.
My heart is that of a clock.
I can't expect love, because I am also waiting until I am able to love what's beneath these two faces.
I feel cursed with heart of straw, like it's going to stay forever.
Maybe all I can truly do is slowly make it up to you.
Cause I'm not wanting to be this way.
I wasn't made this way.
I became this way...
Two faces.

eternus Aug 16

Because modern technology blocks off communication,
I have no way to say this without hesitation.

I hope that one day, my words will reach you;
I'm sorry, young man, because I was stupid, too.

Maybe I can send a message to you through a friend.
Chan S Aug 16

I apologize for blaming you.
Because I can only blame myself
You see, all along it's been me.
Me allowing you to treat me the way you've been treating me.
Me allowing you to take my voice away.
Me allowing you to touch me in the ways I did not appreciate.
Me allowing you to hurt me with your actions.
I should've spoken up, used my voice long time ago.
Then you would've known my words now, are not for show.

I apologize for crediting you for my life's work,
Because I can only credit myself.
For all my pains in all my life.
For all my claims and all my strife.
For all my "shames" others call trife'lin.
You see, all along it's been me.
I should've spoken up, used my voice long time ago.
Then you would've known my words now, are not for show.

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Brooke P Aug 12

I’m sorry I make us late for everything.

I’m sorry that my inability to make decisions frustrates you.
I'm sorry that I constantly seem distracted and detached,
and that I never have any good suggestions
or anything genuinely interesting to say.
I’m sorry that my irrational questions annoy you -
It’s just that I always get caught in these loops of anxiety
that I can’t possibly find a way out of,
let alone explain to you.
I get stuck,
like a broken record, playing the same part of a song
over and over.
My mind convinces me that you’re displeased.
I’m sorry I can’t look you in the eye,
because I know I must have done something wrong.
I’m sorry I withdraw and fall silent.
I’m sorry I consistently expect more, but continue to give less.

at Aug 12

I'm sorry my bones are fragile,
breaking from the touch of your voice.
I'm sorry my tears burned your delicate skin,
and sorry if my screams broke your ribs.

I'm sorry I ran away,
away from your charcoal claws.
I'm sorry I house a broken body
and tore my cracking heart.

I'm sorry I fought off the darkness in my veins,
but too tired to fend off your demons.
I'm sorry I was the one who carved your scars
and squeezed your creaking lungs.

I'm sorry for saying "I'm sorry."
I'm sorry for believing that phrase
can heal bullet wounds,
and align planets.

My hands were shaking,
My breathing uneven,
Hitched, unruly,

I kept opening and closing my hands,
Trying to look for something to squeeze,
Or some sort of release,

People aren't like me,
We're all different,
I know that,

But sometimes I hate being different,
I hate being angry and anxious,
I don't want the dark/negative thoughts,

But that makes me who I am,
And I should accept and change that if,
I dislike it so much,

But for once,
Maybe even once in a while,
It's okay to feel the things that I hate to feel,

Not because that's normal,
Or because it makes me human,
But because these are my feelings,

I shouldn't have to be scared,
Try to filter them out just in case they get "too crazy",
I shouldn't have to be apologetic about them,

Though I was,
But not now,
And not ever.

L Jul 18

Apologies
silenced by my self-doubt
before I can say a word, because,
if you forgave me, it'd mean nothing,
and I don't know how to forgive myself.

In my thoughts, I whimper,
over and over again--

I'm sorry
that when I tried to hold your hand
when you were sad
you didn't want me to,
you pulled away because I make everything worse.

I'm sorry
that when I worry about you
paranoia screams in the back of my mind
til I'm begging you, just to stop it,
just to listen, even though
every word just shows that I'm delirious.

I'm sorry that the way you look at me
makes me wish that I could be weak
because I want you to comfort me,
I want you to lie and say that it's okay
and that you don't mind doing that for me.

I'm sorry
that I'm not so
breathtakingly beautiful
that you can't stand to look away.

I'm sorry my hands
aren't the perfect temperature
to complement yours
if I held them

I'm sorry
my eyes aren't deep enough
to get lost in, that my hair isn't
short enough for you to
brush your fingers through

I'm sorry I can't
seduce you, I'm sorry I can't
twist your will or
cry in such a way that it
makes you do whatever I want

I'm sorry that I don't make
the sun rise in the morning,
or paint the moon in the sky at night,
or hang the stars, one by one,
all the while, thinking you're more beautiful,
because I can't and you're not.

I'm sorry
I'm not perfect,
I'm sorry I'm not god
I'm sorry that my voice doesn't
sound like music and my face isn't
ever-present in your dreams.
I'm sorry that if it came down to it
you'd leave me in a heart beat,
I'm sorry I'm not beautiful or
brilliant enough to make you regret that.

I'm sorry you don't think I'm your soulmate,
I'm sorry we're not dating I'm sorry you don't
want to fuck me I'm sorry you can't trust me
I'm sorry I'm not in love with you, I'm sorry
you're not my first choice, I'm sorry you're just
my friend, I'm sorry I haven't always known you,
I'm sorry I get mad when you ignore me, I'm sorry
I tried to tell you the truth even when you didn't like it
I'm sorry I want to protect you I'm sorry you don't have
someone like I do and that it hurts you, every day--
I'm sorry that my love is normal,
just a feeling inside me and not some bright,
angelic miracle that burns forever, keeping you warm

But most of all,
I'm sorry that all of that makes it
so that you can't see how much I care about you.

and I'm not all that sorry because I shouldn't be,
because I am this way,
and I'm still important--
just maybe
not to you

Samantha Jul 7

I'm always nervous that you hate me
And I wouldn't blame you
And I try to calm down
But anxiety is my best friend
Who loves to pass me notes in class that say
"They hate you"
So strong so confident
Why wouldn't I believe them?
But if you do hate me you don't say it
If you're upset you never tell me
These are what I lay awake at night afraid of
Please don't leave me i love you
I tell myself to grow up and smile
But Anxiety loves to show up in my dreams
Nightmares
And I don't wanna bother you anymore than I already do
I love you please don't hate me

i an anxious 87% of the time
Benji James Jul 3

Let me invite you in
Open up show you everything 

Every regret that hits 

Tears apart my heart strings

Yeah let's begin

With this girl, I once met

Told her she was beautiful then and there 

Till I found out she had a boyfriend

That didn't stop me from trying to keep advancing

Got a little weakness 

For a pretty face

And I just wish to know

The way her kiss tastes

Eh I just wanna be that guy

That takes her breath away

Yeah Sharnie
Do you remember me?
Am I that regret that you met
That turned your life inside out
I remember the look when we first laid eyes
I remember those butterflies inside
Yeah, girl, you made me nervous
But we seemed to hit it off
Should have been the one to know
That I would screw it up
Oh Sharnie
Do you remember me?

Do you remember the day
I drove you home
Yeah God was I nervous
I made you smile
yeah I made you laugh
With my silly little lines
And the expressions that I made
When I looked your way
Wish I ended that trip with a kiss
Yeah, girl, I regret it,
just wasn't sure if you were ready yet
Plus you had a boyfriend

Yeah Sharnie
Do you remember me?
Am I that regret that you met
That turned your life inside out
I remember the look when we first laid eyes
I remember those butterflies inside
Yeah, girl, you made me nervous
But we seemed to hit it off
Should have been the one to know
That I would screw it up
Oh Sharnie
Do you remember me?

This is where it all went wrong
This is where I messed up
I remember the message you sent
After I ignored your calls
You told me how you were kicked out
And left in the cold hard rain
With no one to turn to, your trust I betrayed
And if that wasn't enough
I remember walking you out from work
your boy came into pick you up
yeah we met face to face
and when I walked off
he pushed you to the ground
and when I found out
I wanted to knock his lights out

Yeah Sharnie
Do you remember me?
Am I that regret that you met
That turned your life inside out
I remember the look when we first laid eyes
I remember those butterflies inside
Yeah, girl, you made me nervous
But we seemed to hit it off
Should have been the one to know
That I would screw it up
Oh Sharnie
Do you remember me?

©2017 Written By Benji James

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