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basil 7d
hitting save on another task as my spotify playlist sways in the background. my yawn reaches my stomach. my dark circles bring a great contrast to my greyish-bluish eyes. i'm learning french again. maybe because it's supposed to be the language of love and maybe because i want to watch Plein Soleil without subtitles.

it's june still. my ex who said she was still my friend went to a pride parade without me. it's fine, maybe i'll get to wear my colors on my sleeves next june. maybe i'll meet some queers in college. if i ever finish my housing application.

california state university northridge. blissfully away from home, but achingly not far enough. beautiful to it's core and yet i can't shake this churning anxiety in my fingers, in my brain, in my heart. i wish everything wasn't online so maybe this yellow brick road winding me to my future would feel more real.

this town is so ugly. it's not big, not small. it isn't even pretty if you genuinely enjoy the look of washed out suburbs. all the colors are dulled by the sun, and not in the soft pastel way. it's like the skies rained gallons of bleach, if it ever once rained here. this place is full of skeletons hanging on to purgatory.

but i'd suffer damnation if i said i wasn't scared out of my mind about leaving it.
god. just rambling. ***** time.

Don't overthink, don't tense your nerve'...
Not only our tangent is different but I'm also standing alone upon a messed up curve..!
I'm an unsocial guy and it's very well known...
Don't try to find me out, I'm lost in the illusion of my own..!

It's not so easy for me to walk on the given way...
It's not so easy for me to give  instant reply on — what you say..!
It's not so easy for me to follow your set norm'...
Whenever I try to do so... I'm stopped by my inner storm..!

I'm the one who tries to live under the table...
In the company of yours, I find myself uncomfortable..!
I run away, whenever I hear your call...
It's very tough for me to be friend with you all..!

It will take some time for my shyness to end...
It will take me some time to make new friend'..!
So give me my time to stand with you all, on the same line...
Until that moment, let me live in the space and thought of mine..!
Hey everyone,
I hope u all are good. Wasn't active here from past few days coz of the reopening of my university campus but now I'm back. It feels so good and relaxed to be here. As I'm back now, I'll start exploring HP again...

[Ignore it...(just wanted to share somewhere)
Went to my clg last week for the very first time...I'm about to complete my bachelor's till next year but when I entered, I got the feel of a fresher. Everyone appeared as a stranger to me and cuz of my shy nature I didn't get the opportunity to interact with others. Although I don't like to make friends yet I think interaction is important. But I think I'm little different and I need my time to be comfortable even to interact with my classmates (physically).]
Anais Vionet Feb 11
(a senryu poem)

I’m transitioning
my personal pronoun to
“Your Majesty”
Anais Vionet Feb 2
Debilitating laughter
at the hands of a master
a ***** minded *******
who knows what he’s after

The ever subtle asker
he caresses and flatters
his clever patter shatters
cares that should matter.

Finally, we moved to extract her
the wobbling girl from Nebraska
from a drunken fraternal disaster
and the junior poised to shaft her

Uhh, sorry to interrupt
Anna, pick her up her stuff
We gotta go home ***, get up
Hey bud, touch ME and you’re ******.

***, you’ve had too much ***
when tomorrow comes
if you still want to slum
you can still bed the ***

We’re waiting for an Uber
Are you starting to sober?
No babe, you didn’t *****-up
Ughh, yep, she threw up.
Anais Vionet Jan 31
Anna and I were sitting on an outdoor bench. To get some fresh air, our classes are virtual this week and we were feeling claustrophobic. I was working on a poem idea on my iPad and Anna was uploading an assignment with her computer.

The bench is by a walkway and there were a few people passing by. I asked Anna, “What’s an alternative word for paralysis?” And three rando students walking by answer my question, in less time than Anna can even look up from her Mac.

“Tetraplegia,” says a ******* the far side of the walk - who passed us right to left - her friends laughed at her for answering my question. “Palsy,” says a guy who was passing the other way, on our side - he didn’t even look up from his phone. And last, a guy behind the girls says, “standstill.”

I just look up and smile - I love this place. Everyone’s friendly and collaborative. There’s an almost homogeneous curiosity about the world.

“Maybe I should create a sidewalk, crossword-puzzling channel on Twitch?” I ask Anna, who just shakes her head, “No.”
BLT word of the day challenge: homogeneous: "of the same or a similar kind or nature."
Anais Vionet Dec 2021
Stars spark from a deeping, clear, blue winter sky as
the moon prepares to enter the scene, stage left.

A breeze sweeps away the last blushes of sunlight and
evening caroling-bells, ring like wind-chimes.

The evening chill makes students walking back from
classes seem to walk a little closer for warmth.

Students, huddled to nail down evening plans seem to smoke,
like the exhaust of cars exiting campus in bumper to bumper traffic.

Wet sidewalks, like dark and winding mirrors, twist reality, inverting
and reflecting lights - bending them into pointing the way home.
a fall evening walking back from class
Ellis Dec 2021
Broke as hell
Blue light eyes
Pity be pity see
Pushing till they pull
Color coded notes on fire
Scholar of all that is okayish
Handicapped lockjaw zombie
Swimmers in the styrian river of Dante’s Inferno
A stop sign growing in the middle of the street
Thousand yard letter grade stare
12 missed assignments
Experienced Naivete
Dementia in progress
Last year’s Amnesia
Crossing busy streets


i believe i am quite burnt out.

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