Okay, so I tried. And I wasn’t enough. To capture your mind, or heart, or ****, or whatever it is that she captured.
Okay, so I tried. To talk. And you wouldn’t respond. With full sentences. Okay,
Okay, so you miss her. And I ask about it so you tell me. But would you rather stay silent? What do you want? Don’t involve yourself with me. Don’t start this if you don’t wanna do anything but start it.
Finish it, because I can’t. Because I am already in too deep. Because I have felt the end coming many times and waited and waited and waited for it to end but you won’t let it.
Okay, so you don’t care.
Okay, so there is an awkward silence and you laugh harder at some other girls’ joke than you do at mine. Okay, so you are uncomfortable and you get up and you walk away. So you don’t listen to my problems or ask about how I am even though I asked about you. Even though I care. So you started this and you don’t care. So finish it.
Okay, so, you don’t have much of a personality. Okay, so you’re a tough egg to crack. She did. And I won’t. You don’t want me to. You just like starting things. Maybe you don’t know you’re starting them.
So, I don’t understand you like she does, so you don’t even try to connect. Maybe if you gave me answers longer than 2 words I could find out who you are. Maybe, if you just tried. Maybe, if you just ended it and never spoke to me and pretended I didn’t exist, then maybe it would be over. And I would be happy. Not happy.
Okay, so. I love you and I don’t want you to finish it. But I wish it hadn’t started. Because the truth is, it only started for me. So, okay, so.
Okay, so you miss her and as I sit across the table from you and search for the words to make you feel at home you scowl and remember her smile and body and mind. Okay, okay, okay. So I’m delusional.
So, I tell you about how I'm lonely and you do not respond. I say I feel sad and you remain indifferent. So, you don't wanna hear problems that aren't hers because only she is real to you, I guess, emotionally. And other girls who aren't her, are real to you, physically. And I guess, so, I guess I am neither.
A friend? I want to end it. That isn't what I wanted.
Okay, so I guess I have to end it, since you have nothing to end. Okay, so. This is me ending it.
It will never be over for me.
Is it over for you?
I keep forgetting it never began.
this only hurts me.