If my dad had lived, he would be the big 7-0.
On this day, Dad was born seventy years ago.
Seven decades is how long he would've been alive.
But leukemia killed him, Dad did not survive.
He lost his life in 2013 on the 13th of July.
Dad would be the big 7-0 if he hadn't died.
your birthday party.
crowds gathered in the lawn,
from the festivities
after the incident.
that the piece
of hard candy
you choked on
help could arrive.
4 years old,
and the balloons
on your mailbox
seem more Haunting
Fake bir(dea)thday wishes
from people that forgot
that once she had
a heart full of hope
but slowly filled up
with liters of silent sorrow.
The lips faked
but the eyes could show.
left to walk through
Denial and confusion
painted on a blank life
the button on
for self shame,
Mental death at the anniversary of birth
to emotions and destroyers of faith.
So next time the universe
will be created
remember to remember
if you are reading this
that the outcomes of the fruits of
your destructive inhumane actions
on a human being
you called selfish or rejected without any reason
that she silently broke down
and you were still violently stepping on her chest
wanting her not to breathe with your words
but she is like a feral
learning to survive.
Desensitization to pain.
There is more to come
but she cannot feel anything
She is like a stray cat
walking down the
You may feed her and
she will be grateful
but she will NEVER trust you.
Today is his birthday,
But I don't know what to say.
Other than the ordinary "happy birthday" that everyone else is going to say to him.
I can't help but think about last year when I opened my body to him as a gift on a whim.
With fiery eyes and my legs spread apart, mirroring my heart, as he nervously took my gift of unision.
Now that I think about it, it was stupid really, I should have gave him a cake for him to dig in.
But instead he quietly persisted and I let myself succumb.
I didn't think that the next year, I would feel so numb.
I want to give him the gift of my love but it's something lost in the fog in the distance of empty roads.
A garden once blooming, crushed by the cement he paved before I had implode.
It's selfish of me to make this all about myself.
It's just so hard to see all of his things on my art shelf.
I want to tell him I love him and I'm glad he stuck around for another year of his life.
As he whispers that he's so happy he met me and he wants me as his wife.
He's 20 now, but acts like a middleschooler.
Always playing games with the girl in the schoolyard, the hopless romantic middle school loser.
I always let myself fall this deep down.
My knees are so bloody and bruised and the skin of my palms are unbound.
I didn't think that I'd have to walk alone once again.
Afterall, he made the decision to let our love blast into oblivion.
I want to tell him I love and miss him and wish he can say those love-filled words to me once again.
But it isn't my birthday, so he's blowing out the candles, wishing he'll grow into a different man.
A foolish little boy, so careless with the loser's heart.
You don't realize how much you'll miss them until your heart tears apart.
I want to tell him so much more on his special day,
But my heart's voice is sewn together with thread, and all I can muster is a
Today, on my birthday,
I wish to be healthy and loved
I want to have a fresh start
I wish my heart to be content
I wish to be humble
Mild and kind
Like a little child,
Innocent with untamed imaginations
I wish to celebrate this day
As if I was just born,
With eyes closed and full of dreams.
On my birthday,
I wish to see love and peace
in this world
A world free of agony and pain
In which all the worries
and human sufferings
are washed away
That’s my only wish
I am wishing for my birthday
For all to live in harmony in
A wondrous world
its the same
"you're getting older'
or maybe even
a "happy birthday"
but for me its
in the bathroom
crying to make
the pain go
but in the end its always the same.
i turn older
and i runaway from my problems
just like my
I ponder silently
To those who know
Secrets I kept securely.
Mild clues were given
You may eat sweets without limit.
Before eating sweets,
Its important to address
To those who remembers.
How I keep secrets.
Dealing today casually.
Amazed by connections.
Yearly observed by me.
Tempted to give reward
Of those who understand.
Defenestration to those who said it loudly.
A cake and ice cream to those who said it discreetly.
Yes, I do appreciate those who said it to me personally.