the last of my breddahs i’m just following suit
at the end of the day i’m still that same ol’ yute
twenty one now, i hope you get there too
cuz if you ain’t here, i know you’ll get here soon

and perspective is mad cuz i was once you
an ambitious little boy with some radical views
cravin’ for a chance to receive and shoot
like Laca in the box, cuz i would take that too

but what i would do
just might not be true
to what you would do
but if i asked myself now what would i do
then i’d get the same answer like two plus two
cuz i still got my views

and let’s be honest
i ain’t really changed much
at least i think i haven’t cuz i really ain’t exchanged much
different ideologies and people ain’t been sayin' much
other than this same old same old for these same months

cuz kamala this and donald trump that
is no different to me than what ’16 had
the same old story pulled out the same hat
but we don’t draw the lines to try to change that

we move
and fall into a groove
even though it’s bumpy when we're wishin' it was smooth
cuz
life is always twistin' throughout different routes
i guess that’s why we always try to stay close to our roots

cuz if we never have to travel in search of our truths
then we can say the life we lived is closest to truth
am i saying that to say i’m worse off than you?
just because i’ve strayed further than you?

i think it’s mad
and honestly i’m glad
i’ve seen so many cities that i never thought i’d have
the chance of seeing
and instances of being
surrounded by some people that i never thought would be in
my life, and i’m grateful
for what they’ve brought to my table
if my last supper was today then to all of them i’m faithful

because
too many times we see some **** go south
saying words that shouldn’t leave our mouths
words that turn into action with a  punch in the mouth
and then it’s EMS, ambulance, blackin’ out
and it’s the USA so hospital be cost amounts

of money that we ain’t got
so we divert from those actions and those nasty thoughts
cuz if the cost of death is higher than the price of life
why wouldn’t i try to see the beauty in the strife
and never let some nasty words tell me how to live my life

that's mad
cuz i’ve seen some of my people take that **** real bad
when i’m on the pitch i can’t say i’ve not had
experiences like that
where i’m contemplating whether to abandon match
or to let that pass

but still, i’m here
my body and mind are intact
and i still got these same breddahs behind my back
and this same family to watch my back

and only experience and those people contribute to my repertoire
and only form my skillset when i’m well-aware i’ve set their bar
and those who haven’t done that yet should know exactly  who they are
because they’d know they aren’t far

because i’m only 21 and i hope that i still have lots of life left to give
i hope that my people can sort out their problems like it’s flour in a sieve
i hope we continue to broaden our horizons like Sid Meyer’s Civ
and most importantly i hope we remember to take a deep breath

and live

enjoy, pree more life
find the beauty in the struggle and strife
as we continue to strive
and find ourselves as we get surprised
by the courses of life for which we must improvise

another milestone, and another celebration
offering another chance at self-recalibration
as goals yet to be achieved are still the final destination
or so we hope to fulfil imagination

so,
twenty-one years on this planet and now i'm forced to look in one direction
forced to find my style even when it’s gettin' hairy and i'm facin' deflection
forced to go forward even if there’s a wall with no intention
of breaking down because i have to break those barriers using nothing but a mirror,
my reflection

this time, its a date that blooms you in that day
volume that full of darkness get blinded by a ray,
and even my hand that will never reach and lay
dont worry because you already star in this day.

In July of 2013, you died and you went to Heaven.
If you hadn't died, today you would've turned 77.
After taking chemotherapy for months, you died.
You were a good provider and that can't be denied.
When a parent dies, it's always tragic and very sad.
If you were still alive, I'd say "Happy Birthday, Dad".

October 21, 2008
My birthday
As a kid I was always so excited
I had a list of everything
That I desired for my special day
But now I'm turning sixteen
I don't know what I want
I don't know who I am
And for the first time
I could care less if my birthday came
Or if it just passed me by
Like everyone else in this cruel world
I feel lost
Broken
I want to go back
To when things were simpler
I just want to be a kid again

Happy Birthday to me.
I brought myself to completion
In the dark of this great soaring ****
Silently I made love to myself
Someone sleeps beside me

In the aisle someone feels
My passion growing and coming
His legs shake as mine quake and quiver
The smell of my love on my fingers
musky, primordial, satifying.

!hap

pie
e.e.
***

(13
0th)

ming
s' b
irth

day!

When a star dies
It explodes in a pond of colour
It's glow traverses the unforgiveness of time
And a voice pronounces your name

I am far from what I muse live
Haunted by a curse of my fate
But still enchanted by your existence
Never ceasing to burn the candle of my reason

I dream of your famished touch
Your skin labored by perfection
As an artist, you create an ethereal beauty
As an artist, I preserve your beauty with words

You exist only in my lonesome thoughts
My dreams are a bucker
How could you be so far away
If only you are my serenity

Your name is an hymn for love
Star will forever self-destruct
With the hope to become you
The existence of the eternal muse

I don’t get the feminine luxury of being
twenty-five  again every birthday past fifty.
For a year I must live with the snide joke  that
my actual age is a congress of crows position
illustrated in the karma sutra  (page 69).
Biologically I feel ten years older.  
Facially I look fifteen years younger.  
Every year there will be a different  joke
for the new number and another birthday.
But they say age is just a number .
You just  live with  the joke until
that final one comes up.

I do not hate growing older
I hate the failure's reminder
Turning into another number
No achievements to remember
My twenties are almost over
My childhood still need closure