she became sexually excited
by the thought of being eaten
like a piece of spit roasted chicken
fall off the bone
melt in your mouth
as she reflected back
she could not remember a time
when she did not harbor
this venomous ache
wanting wanting wanting
what she should not want
some times she dare cut herself
admiring the split tissue
first thin white peaks
the emergent sticky red plush
then the little red river Nile
just a taste
better not eat to much
one summer evening
in a crowded pub
sharing a table with a strange couple
not from around here.
may be from outer space
girl became fixated on
their intensity pierced
like a needle through a banana
both of them lean & tall
like black rod iron gates en-castleations
hair combed straight back jet black
the woman wore a tight small bun
ornate rings with enshrined family crest
manicured like Malibu real estate
both dressed to kill
girl was drawn to them
they emitted a sense of terror
thrilling her, making her sweat
they looked good enough to eat her
she felt her cunt dampen
as they all peered at each other
the man, the woman
siting before her
with shape shift mouths
and eyes that kiss your soul
till it bleeds
making girl feel like lamb chops
with a side of pom fritz
perhaps a glass of merlot
the woman mused at her
with eyes like black Cole
touched her hand and said
girl found herself in a plain house dress
pantie-less, bare foot
her toes had been lovingly painted
black with with rich clear lacquer
with no memory of her arrival
woman saunters in
buoyant like a pink float
like white seamless marble
her eye socket darkened
like pouting dark rose anus
walked to girl
kiss her mouth
then again and again
each time longer deeper sweeter
like a swarm of licking bees
i am yellow daffodils girl thought
man enters like grand swinging doors
to a great cathedral
licks kisses girls mouth
he tasted of dark butter rum
a hint of worm perhaps
touching her breasts
her nipples growing attentive
cunt wet wet wet
like low hanging summer fruit
man says we are not human
may we please eat you my love
we like for food and the darkest sex
we treasure every morsel
your blood gives us strength
your viscera a prized dark stew
your death brings us optimism
your sacrifice sustains us
we eat you with tears of blood
because we love you
and your body is our holy sacrament
you are our Christ
you are my destiny
come show me your love
feast on me
take me slow with kisses, black mamba tongue and razor teeth
i do not run from you my darlings
centered herself on the table
spreads her self wide
like a contortionist
knees held to her chest
the man and the woman
on all 4s
hovered like hyenas
first with kisses
womans ass curved like a pearl
her breasts longish as if
with foreboding dark plum aureoles
the mans cock
arterial contoured like a tear drop
a creeping snake with dark appetites
a dispenser of paralytic toxin and MDA
a cock thats poisons and exults
some where between love and death
each of them beautiful
girl thought ooooooowwww
there where long periods of kissing at first
then wet tongues insinuating themselves
in dark rose anus
pink primrose pussy
mouths feeding mouths feeding mouths
foot adorations and then teeth and little bites
and mumblings about the grace of Satan
and uncrossing themselves
and thunderous goetic rituals
for fear that god would take their girl away
their lovely food
there sweet bleeding lover
their robe of blood
and starve them
they wept tears of gratitude
as they licked and tore flesh
the pain of their bites excited girl
oh it hurt so
braking her soul
as they ate her sweetbreads
pushed passed limits
pushed past limitlessness
despicable delirious delicious
her cunt inflamed
girl thought in fractured clouds
and heaping orgasms
before fading in to dark water labyrinths
finally she thought
i am lamb chops
with aside of pom fritz
perhaps a glass of merlot
but most of all i am girl
feeding those i love
her very last words
come my darklings
finish me now
clean your plates
drink your wine
there are children starving in Africa
Shiny stars and clouds of dust.
Sexual tension, full of lust.
A simple touch ignites a fire
deep within my body's desire.
"Ignore the heart!" my body cries,
and set your worries to the side.
Nature does as nature calls
so slam my body against the wall,
and navigate my body-say.
Oh, please, fulfill my pleasures way.
I can’t say there is a word for what we are
I know I was looking through your pictures yesterday
Laughing at how cute you look
Wanting to tell you which ones you look bad in,
And how others do not make you justice.
Kissing you and the non-stop laughs
Make fun of the fact that we are fatties.
Driving to McDonalds at 1 am.
I have a feeling it is going to hurt.
But when I am in your room, on your bed
Not being able to keep our hands off each other.
It is complete bliss.
We have amazing sex, you know it’s true
We take a break and go at it again.
And then you open up about the things you love
Like those nerdy topics of things I do not understand
But, your whole face lights up while you talk.
And you apologize for speaking so much.
Don’t ever apologize again
Don’t ever shut up.
Please keep talking,
Until we meet our end.
The first was a neighbor
I fell fast into friendship with
Until he betrayed my innocent trust.
The second was a cousin,
Someone admired and adored
Until he twisted my adoration
Into something I didn't recognize
Or ask for.
The third was an uncle,
A partner in crime
Kept close to my heart
Until he bent the rules
And my will.
My view of the world
By these three men.
Men I knew. Cared for.
Looked up to in awe.
And they used that
To their sick advantage.
Until I learned that
Love is shown in funny ways.
A secret meeting
Shh, don't tell your parents
Threats only barely veiled
Or something bad might happen
To your little sister.
And bruises left as reminders
You asked for it.
They showed me the love I was worth.
I am a part of a
tiny yet large
silence yet surfacing
We feel the same pain.
We feel the same anger.
It bubbles and bursts
“What is wrong with us?”
“What did we do to make this happen?”
And the answer
We are brave souls
seeking a glimpse
of shinning light
In an electric storm.
a commotion so wild
it makes us shiver.
It makes us burn.
We are utterly conflicted
and utterly confused
But we are making noise.
Titans fighting angst
our own mythological breasts.
But these monsters are real
and they are among us
So we cannot remain silent.
We must find our own unique
And that voice will swell
and climb to new heights.
We are eagles.
across the sky.
And you should bow
in awe of our
here i am sifting through images in my head again,
and i’m still not really sure which ones are from now
and which ones are from then.
all i know is that time has lost meaning,
and i don’t have the energy to fight.
i still feel you on top of me most nights.
i’m so sorry,
and i don’t really know for what,
i guess i was praying those words
would make you stop?
but those prayers went unanswered
i wasn’t strong enough to push you off.
and that was the night that i lost god.
as a kid i used to pray before going to bed,
but ever since god left me, i’ve been writing
and rewriting suicide notes in my head.
its ironic because they sound much like a prayer
god, please take me home i don’t want to be here.
"God bless it, what are you doing to me?"
He thought to himself quietly.
They had jumped together from a cliff, into a natural pool.
And he was given a harded stool.
He grabbed some soap, for which she was glad.
Finally a bath, something clean and grand,
Approaching him again, as the water bends.
Her hands grabbed his own, the soap intact. Rubbing the suds in her soft hands.
She rubbed his cheek, he felt the tingles and jolts. As she pinched his other cheek, playfully.
He giggled and chuckled, pinching her nose during this playful matter.
As the water became a splatter.
He cleaned her, and she had cleaned him.
Just the two of them.
No one else.
He begged for the moment to never end.
He'd been touched by her, and he loved the feeling,
he wanted her close, so she wasn't for the taking.
"Just a simple peck, nothing intense." he thought sweetly,
he yearned to touch her again, to feel her again.
"Do we have time?" She asked, as he looked at the positioned sun.
"No, we have to go back."
This saddened him, for he wanted to be in the water forever,
just with her and him together.
Lips dripping the words,
To say the words
That my heart is afraid of.
Her beautiful cracked lips,
Dripping the words,
With a whisper,
I love you
My heart skipped a beat,
The moment her lips slammed,
It was a defeat,
I can hear the words
Beating in my heart.
I love you
Mesmerized by the overlapping of her lips,
It was a unique moment,
When lips were cuddling,
Dripping the words of
I love you
Was the day I realized she is the one.
to be defined
by an assault
more than just
rape is an
assault on your
scars go deep
& you don't
to heal from it
but there is healing
beyond the 10 minutes
of fear and tears
there can be
intimacy in future
without any tremors
without fingers of fear
clawing at your gut
you can be okay
take it from me
it won't define you
i’m 13 and my first kiss is from a boy named nick behind dick’s sporting goods in stale street air. nick’s canadian and when i ask if he can speak french he says no but I can play hockey and that is the next best thing
a week prior when i tell lauren we’ve been dating seven months and haven’t kissed yet she can’t believe it but all i believe is i’m 13 and a first kiss was supposed to be so special
so special i am too scared to close my eyes so my first kiss is a waterfront view of spider-leg eyelashes, too much spit, and all nick.
two weeks later he calls me cherry and i call him kiwi because we think normal pet names are too mainstream.
three weeks later nick breaks up with me when i corner him by the west wing lockers in the middle school by english class. i confront him, lay out the facts, and that is that.
i’m 14 and my second kiss is by the bleachers at the high school football game – not behind because behind the bleachers is where kids go for second base and to form virgin lips around leaf sweet smoke.
i‘m 14 and my second kiss is still nick but it’s not all spit and i wonder who he’s been kissing
i’m 14 and my second kiss is to the melody of a collective crowd’s stamping feet and a boy named jared with no real teeth wolf-whistling at us from the corner
i’m 14 and i remember to close my eyes
i’m 15 and grind on levi who’s twice my height to a rihanna song at homecoming
his crotch is against my upper back when it should be against my ass
he doesn’t kiss me, drops me off, speeds away in his oldsmobile
i’m 17 and my first fuck is with a man named dan who serves at the same restaurant i smile at and hand menus out for tips. i’m his twenty-third and for a while after 23 is my favorite number
i’m 17 and i’m bleeding on dan’s brother’s sheets
i’m 17 and afterwards dan sleeps with a girl named stephanie who probably fucks better than me. i got my ears pierced at claire's last year but stephanie has tattoos between her tits and a dermal.
i’m 20 and barely flinch when i see nick at the local community college. i ask if he still plays hockey and he asks me what good books i’ve read lately and i wonder if he’s any good in bed.
i’m 22 and i’ve laid with a dozen men, all nestled like eggs in my crate of shame
i’m 22 and i've learned to close my eyes until they've finished with me