As the rain starts to pour,
I feel as if I drift away in it.
Drifting to escape my trap.
One I have created all these years
and now it seems I can't escape it.
So now I let my self drift away
hoping to escape my creation.
❝ a man curses his self-created hell;
a trap he weaved for himself
that later on evolved
into a labyrinth of intricate design
the basis of his sorrow
a product of ignorance
that drowns him
in the ocean of confusion
he becomes lost
in the prison of darkness
floating in the sea
of perpetual gloom
searching for the light
with eyes open
but senses shut
stumbling about for eons
but never himself ❞
And trap me
Lie to me
And ship me
No matter how much
No matter how much
I will escape
Categories, labels and boxes. Don’t stifle who I am. I am not a women to be silenced.
Trapped in a time loop
I‘m robbed of my lifetime
I can’t do anything
I don’t want this to happen
I can’t get help
I made my decision
I have to live with it now
Was it the right thing?
Was it the wrong decision?
Am I going to be happy again?
I don’t want to feel like this
I want to travel back in time and get out of this dark place!
Decisions lead to new people, new adventures, old friends
You don’t have to change your life completely
Nobody expects you to do this
Nobody should expect this from you
you trap me
in-between your arms,
telling me all about a secret
you have buried
underneath your tongue
for months now,
is the only part
of me that manages
to escape from your grip.
I did not know this was possible: to be in 2 places at the same time. I am here, still here but my heart is elsewhere. I am here, staying here but my heart's packed up and left a long time ago. My body sleeps with him at night but I look the other way. I have looked the other way and lied to myself for years and years, blinded so foolishly by a love so strong it ruined me. The truth is always the hardest pill to swallow, but I need to face my demons and the secrets I've kept if I want to move on. I am in 2 places at the same time. First, I am where I have to be-- a place that beckons me to stay and be strong and forgive over and over again. Second, I am where I hope to be-- a place of peace and contentement and if I'm lucky, maybe joy. The mind is so strong that it allows one to endure great suffering through unwavering willpower. How do wrongly incarcerated persons survive decades in prison? It is the idea of freedom and faith in justice that keeps them sane and alive. It is the hope that one day, their truth will come out and their liberty served that empowers them. This is how I feel. This is how I'm still alive.
The jeans seem to be clean
The tone I bring is dark washed
My shyness is bleached
I keep thinking of spin cycles
Acid wash anything I can dream
Just a tab to expand what is loaded
Psychedelic and kaleidoscopic hues
Painting with a vivid open minded view
Let the universe hypnotize me
The spin cycle I keep thinking about
My decision to surf on a wave
Will it bring me tripped out pain
Stuck in the intertwining of space
Stuck between experience and entrapment
Acid wash me into a different color
Or drown me into a world I’m not ready for
Acid wash color me away
I’ve always wondered what your intention was
You see, the intention is what makes all the difference
I know now that you intended to trap me
To make me behave as you wish
You tried to learn about me so you could figure out how to control me
Your words that gave me hope, you said them to trap me
I don’t think you ever meant to stay loyal to your words
How is anyone supposed to trust you when your words mean nothing
You like to own things; you’ve shown me that
You are so proud of all the things you own
Do you understand that I am not a thing?
I am a conscious person
You are so used to control; it was like second nature for you to try and trap me
But you see,
You have no right to trap me, to control me, to have power over me
You have no right,
Because I am mine and mine alone
Do you understand?