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ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
I'll make your words my playlist...
and I'll play them over and over again

I'll put them on repeat...
so I am reminded that I have a friend

It is medicine to my ears...
No remix or night core modification could compare

The music that motivates my heart to keep dancing...
The beat that makes my heart keep throbbing... to show that I care

I'll make your words my playlist...
and your sentences my harmony to my melody.

No billion dollar offer could make me sell your albums...
Because you sang each word... to me... and for me... so heavenly...

Let me make your words my Playlist... and I swear...

I'll embrace and believe every word... every whisper... every breath... never to be on-air...
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay so this poem came to my mind while listening to a some called "After the Heartbreak" (Nightcore is best)

Anyways... while listening to the song, it made certain memories come to mind, which led me to think about the encouraging words of many beloved friends, and many words of the Holy Bible that I so deeply believe in.

Ehhhhhh I mean... if you wanted to, you could take it as a "love poem" but...ehhh...XP idc

I wish I could make the words of my best friends and the words of God a playlist XD, and have it play what I need to hear when I need it. they really are words to a song in my head. All of the things they say to me, I wish I could compose into a song XD. In my mind they are songwriters, and what a blessing each of them is, I can't seem to praise and thank God enough for them... Anyways... hope you liked it <3
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
This Morning... Dripping in a bleeding shadow's clothing
I lost a sense of existence as my gloved covered hands tampered with my phone... time wasting

Leaning against my black, silver chained designed backpack, pressed against a wall
I waited for my professor to come and welcome us in... I was freezing from the cold shoulder of fall

With my classmates quietly surrounding around me... Two sweaty Janitors came walking through
Ignoring their presence, my fingers only continued to twiddle again the screen,  "someone is staring at you."

My conscious warned. Frozen, behind my bangs, I cautiously move my pupils up
To catch the left behind Janitor's eyes on me... no one daring to interrupt  

His eyes started at my high heel boots, and slowly went up... studying every part of my temple
Trembling, my eyes looked away... pretending I didn't notice such a failing gentlemen example

"Hello?" He said... However, I  pretended that I did not his voice
"Hey... Good Morning!" he declared... as if to rejoice.

Very slightly, my eyes purposely hiding, I raised my head to show I have taken notice
"Good Morning," I spoke plainly, to brush him off, but he continued to admire me as if I was HIS Lotus.

" Hey, I can't see your eyes." Anger began to boil... So what?
I wanted my curtain of golden-brown hair to hide these jewels that haven't been cut.  

I moved them aside for a split second, to tease this fool..wanted to break his stem
and to reveal a hint of a cursed anger that lied within these gems

"I know" to show that they are hidden with purpose, he reminded me of a ****
But stubborn this man was, he bent down, trying to steal a glimpse

"Come on let me see your face!" He cried like a child
Trying to make thingy spicy, but it was truly nothing more than mild

He took one step closer, his face trying to satisfy those eyes that desired dark beauty
If looks could ****, he would already be dead and skinned down to the ****** bone... I'm not your cutie

One step back was the action I took as he saw what pleased him...A beautiful cat
"Now, Why should you hide such a face like that?"

He said with a smirk, trying to sound as if he was the prince for me
Not even my gloves could keep my hands warm after my heart began to freeze

Anger boiled over... knowing he wasn't saying it to be modest or kind
Snapping my backbone in half. feeling like an object... my possession was defined.

"Why shouldn't I?" I spoke with seriousness as dead as the bodies in the grave
The silence was so loud, it deafened everyone around me. My tears swell up with rage

"Tooshay" He said as he chuckled and walked away...
What a coward to give up his argument and fight... but thank God he didn't stay

...He didn't even have a defense to give... it goes to show what he was after
He didn't even try to convince me... His heart was in the wrong place... what a disaster

...I am so disappointed in men... You only see me as an object of abusive pleasure
You think you can have your fun and flirt away... Your foolishness can't be measured

WHY SHOULD I HIDE MY FACE?
LET ME ASK YOU WHY SHOULDN'T I?  His time was a waste...

I went to my first class... trembling in disgust...
I'll just continue to hide my face away from all of you... it obvious you men don't know what is true... pure.. or just...

I'm sorry for making such a fuss...

But Seriously...

Why Shouldn't I Hide Such a Face Like This?


                                                 10/15/2018
... Welcome to College Everyone... Watch Out for people like this... Avoid them at all cost... if they only foucs on the outside... they will only treat you like an object....

ARE YOU AN OBJECT OR A PERSON!?!  NO ONE SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE THIS!!!!

...yeah it's something small... but still
1.8k · Mar 2018
Porn At Our Finger Tips
ClawedBeauty101 Mar 2018
On the screens...
In the model scenes...

In the magazines,
In the places we believe are unseen

We have all the ******* we could want and "need"
It's in our hands, at our finger tips, your flesh is filled with greed

Hastily eating all you can **** out of what your distracted eyes see
Satisfied? Never, Then continue to watch that **** view, then wash that history clean

You know you the ***** feeling you desire!
That shakiness that makes your heart grow mad and burn like insanities fire.

If responsibility did not exist, that would be your main priority, fall lewidly into the dark
To feed that starving flesh the images it need's to get that spark


Enjoying it?....  Tired of it yet? Too Soft? Too Hard?
Too Slow? Too Fast? Watch whatever actions you want, you're the one playing the cards


But listen to a different side of *******...


A "beauty" in those pornographies has laid a target on my type of beauty
I didn't ask for it... I didn't desire it... I didn't want it... I felt filthy...

Several men who thought they had the complete authority,  physically abused...
Mentally harming with words, because of conviction, because of being accused

Refusing to give up their poison because it gives them the attention that makes them moan
Sometimes.. watching things aren't enough... time to give varginity a loan

....Almost have been ****** assaulted more then once... and forever my soul have been torn
Some girls and boys have experienced much worse... *****... killed... suffered.. WHY ALLOW ALL THIS ****?

WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT!? YOUR ****** EMOTIONS?
OR A HURTING NATION THAT IS BEING DESTROYED BY THIS ****** DEVOTION!!!!

....The more you feed it... with your mastrabational retuals
Or whatever... the more it'll want to consume... it won't stay netrual

....It has burned up families... marriages... friendships... and relationships
And even has devoured the heart of those who enjoy it... Who think it's a fun strip

...I am warning you... we are tempted left and right.. it's every where we see
We are not strong enough to resist the temptations... we are of the flesh; weak


Please don't waste your treasure filled bodies or lips...  
We Have **** At Our Finger Tips...







Only God can save the death of humanity... And help us end these ****** struggles...
*And Only He...
(Yeah... it's a sloppy draft sorry X_X)
Let me be the first to say this... I AM SICK OF IT!!! **** IS DESTROYING THIS COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE ALLOWING IT TO DESTROY NOT ONLY OTHERS BUT OURSELVES TOO!!!!

Okay i took a BIG step with this poem... and I know I was very straight forward and bold with this

I'll probably loose followers XD lol

but... it's true
it's something my family has been suffering with... We  don't know who we can trust... who won't hurt us... who won't trick us... **** destroys reasoning

It affects everyone... it may seem fun in the moment... but it will leave you empty just like everything else in this world... I am not perfect I have fallen into it...won't hide that... and believe me when I say this... Not only have I done it, I have experienced the affect of  it other people and how they treat others... including me...

Don't do it... end it... what pleasure is there when there is a free gift of eternity waiting for you through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

If  ANYONE has any questions please feel free to message me or leave a comment below...


Thank you

Cat Lynn ///
3/20/18
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2017
The Lust of the Flesh
The pleasure's of the body might bring satisfaction for a second or two

Whether it would be drugs, violence, gossip, adultery, there's even  more that we do!

The Lust of the Flesh will look desirable, but they will only bring destruction to you

Lust of the Eyes

This Earth is filled with pleasures for your eye to see

You see something you want, and you covet. You want it more then anything

The things you lust after will be in control. You will be anything but free

Pride of Life

We put ourselves on a throne of pride

Believing we deserve the credit of our Creators design

Wanting to be more important then the people by our side

Conclusion**

The traps and lies of this world will try to lead us astray

But you have a choice, and you may choose your way

Hopefully it is the path of the wise, this is what I pray

Choose carefully, or you might be enslaved
If you want to write a poem about what you believe in the comments below that would be great!! :D

Thanks for Reading!
ClawedBeauty101 Apr 2019
I am not here, I am not there
You will not find me… Not anywhere

I have not run away, I have not disappeared
I am close. I am closer then I appear

Not sure how to type what I feel
When all of these feelings just make me feel so lost and ill

This is not a rebellion. This isn’t out of frustration
You are not the enemy; I have nothing against your radiation.

In the night I have gone like the wind
But I am alive and well, this is not out of sin.

I am not gone, just hidden away for a while
You know all my locations, all my places, you know my style.

I could be anywhere, but you know where I go
I am not gone; I’m just no longer home… I’m solo

My number code now a mystery, but you know my accounts
You know and have more then what you realize. You have the amount.
You know my people, you know my spots
Although I am physically cold, my heart is burning hot

Forgive me for the pretty little lies, and for my acts and stories
My wrong, my bad, I am sorry. I greatest my apologies.

I am not fooling around with strangers, or with the fools of this earth
I am safe, and I am close by. I am not shutting you out, I’m building my own turf

Watch the black now fade away, the spikes dim and become dull
For I am independently going on this journey on my own, it’s quite the hull

I’m sick of disappointing, I’m sick of the back and forth, I want to truly know
Jesus in the desert for days, Moses on the Mountain, and Elijah with the birds sought Him alone.

Days, and weeks of isolation, alone with Him.
I want to know!!! I Need to seek and find!!! I am so sick of guess’n!!!

As far as I can tell, this is God’s leading, and if it isn’t, He can work it all out
I won’t know until I take the first step into this unfamiliar world. I promise I am safe and sound

Trying to be discerning, and wise with every step I take, as far as I can tell
I can’t hear him when many are shouting. When too many feel the need to yell.

Not abandoning the problem. I’m not abandoning His Call
I am looking for peace and answers. I want to be his Princess. He won’t let me fall.

I don’t hate you, there is no anger or disappointment in this heart
I swear I leave in peace and love, for I am hurting with this part

Dad, I know everything you said and did was only out of love
I know you didn’t mean to hurt and scar me, so I hid my scars with gloves
I know I disappoint, but I contain no anger. I need a moment and time
To ask and then receive, and to seek what I am trying to find
Answers

Mom, you are wonderful and beloved, I’m sorry if I made you feel so worried
I promise you; I am fine and safe and treasured and in good care. Please have no fury
I loved working alongside you and doing what I could to help
You did so much for me, and prayed like a warrior, breaking every spell
Blessing, that is what you are ♥

Rachel, it’s time for me to be trained on how to be a woman of service
I am on my knees like I’ve seen you done so many times. I’m encouraged
I’m sorry… But He has shown me his leading… So, I am just walking forward
I may not know where it takes me… But I swear it is HIM I am walking towards
Boldly

Dennae, I am praying for you and the things you struggle and ache with. I know the look
I’m going to miss your *******-up phrases and your unintentional jokes
But I need to go on a journey with my Savior for a while to know Thy way
He will change your heart, and your desires, you keep seeking His face.
Everything will change when you pray

Amy, I am sorry, but I tried to do what I could to be there for you
I tried to be the big sister I needed to be. I did what I could so you could see Him through
I love you little one. He has an amazing job planned for you ahead.
He has not forgotten nor abandoned you. Because for you, he bled.
Remember His Love

You can come, and see, and visit! You know where you can stop by
I am not dead; I can assure you, that I am very much alive.

Take care of my baby fluff, and the fish down below
Trying to follow His leading, and not drench myself so low…

Time to grow up, time to discover and learn.
He is the greatest teacher; He will protect me from the fires that burn

Gone indeed… But to really seek and discover what is in store
Alone and Solo, I depend on Him to really speak and show. My body on the floor

Don’t be worried, scared, or frightened, for I am in good hands
I love you; I miss you. You are not locked away from my stands

From the darkness, I escape, but only to seek the light
Forgive me, my beloved family… but I need to take this step… I’ll be alright

I may have crossed the line
But I know as long as I seek Him… and Surrender to Him, He’ll make everything fine…

Till I can see you again, Beloved Family
April 13, 2019 - 1:00 am

My Move-Out Poem Letter to my family before I left...
ClawedBeauty101 Sep 2018
I face the light... and I have to use my hand as a shield...
My pupils dilate in a painful reaction... It's too bright for me, but it can't be sealed

So I have turned my back on the light... on the sun... and it's flame...
I couldn't handle its truth... its purity... the Light and I were not the same...

So I faced my shadow instead... it laid on the ground in front of me...
I could handle the darkness better... or so I thought... It seemed to be free

But then I began to realize something strange about my shadow...
It would change its shape... it became unpredictable...it's me it would follow...

Even when I tried to follow it sometimes, it would play mind games
It would laugh... appearing to my left.. to my right... whispering my name...

There were days... I would be facing my shadow... my head hanging low...
And on my back of blackness, I would feel the bright heat of the suns light flow

Reminding me... that it was still there... reminding me it was still here for me...waiting
But my stubborn, rebellious, selfish heart ignored... its passionate side fading...

Finally... The shadow began to lead me to dark rooms...
black corners... where it would fit in with the other shadows... I was left alone... in a gloom

Too often this happened... and they abused and used all that they pleased...
Haunting me with my past... My worries... My concerns... My fears... They forced my heart to freeze...

In the night... I thought all was done out of sight and in secret
I was a slave to keeping my shadow quiet... What a prisoner I was to keep it

But soon the morning came... the Sun and its glory unleashed...
And my shadow cowardly used me as a shield...  all of the other shadows deceased.

I finally realized that I must look down on my shadow... for it is a low life of what I use to be
A beggar on the ground, dead as the graves in the dirt, a jealous mimic, and mockery

LOOK UP TO ME SHADOW!!! For it is I who controls you!!!
It is my choice how I make you stretch, and bend, and break, and move!!

My back is facing you now... and I face the sun, whose light will last!
It doesn't follow me, or make me feel low about myself because of my past

It tells me to follow it! It allows me to see!
It tells me to look up and believe!

And when the darkness comes to haunt me, it is still there.
It uses the moon, my friend, to reflect and remind me of its love and care!

It does not change its form, its light, or solar course.
It'll always stay the same and always try to be selective with its rays of force.

It provides things to grow, so I can be satisfied with its blessings.
But you? what do you have to offer? A darkening comfort of split-second feelings?

It has melted away the ice and snow, and scared away the shadows and ghost
Yes... its light is still blinding... but that pain will only provide warmth and beauty... and in this... I will boast!!!!
Thank You For Your Support
ClawedBeauty101 Mar 2019
Give me spikes instead of jewels
Cuff my ears and wrist with chains,
Make me look like one of the fools

Set my fingers free, make every glove fingerless
Choke and cover this pale white neck
Buckle it tight, collar this cat, I am fearless

I am no Rapunzel, I won't let my hair down to you
Give me a blade and I'll cut it short and wild
I'll color it with nature's ****** hues

***** this long skirt, it holds me back from running
Tear it up and watch it burn!
Give me that sword! I'm fighting too! Do you think this is funny?

Throw away the scepter, what good will it do?
Paint me in the colors of nights shadows
So the enemy doesn't see this princess bruises of black and blue

My skin isn't soft and clean, it's scarred from head to toe
I don't dare hide it
I want them to know that I am a fighter. Treat me low!

These black lips will smile at you
Only cause I know it is I who has won
This corset kitty has plotted her love for a few

I'll leave the crying to the crystal's I've left behind
Give me that Pop, Give that Bam!
I refuse to wait and stand in line

I run in death's boots, forget those petty girly heels
I stitch myself together with safety pins
I don't have time to stay and sew my self back together. I got things to feel

I am Royalty, I have royal bones, you don't see me trip'n
Laced with nightmare roses, to remind you that I am not only the Beauty
But I am also the thorned cursed Beast, you'll see me kick'n

I have holes in my clothes, I've had no time to rest
I am looking to the spells of the moon and the stars for a revival
I look to the misfit night time "monsters" that has been misunderstood and left for dead

Try to zip these lips
Try to figure out any of these punk princess's mysteries
Cause you know sometimes these feelings can't be zipped

Eye's shadows with Ashes, seeking for Beauty
These big cat eyes will stalk you in dark
Sharp and lovely, I am watching, I am not just a gothic cutie

I can hiss, I can claw
You can laugh, cause I know dang right I am pathetic
Not only you, I, too, can calculate your every stupid flaw

Call me whatever you wish to mock
Emo, Goth, Punk, Demon, Slave
These names have been thrown in my dungeon and locked

Listen to me, cause I am only saying this once
This dainty, pretty little doll  is not yours to clothe
Petting me might make me weak, But I am the one who cuts

You ask me who I am, and believe me when I say Oh heck yes
Pierced with metal rods of lies, and tattooed with labels
I am the Punk Princess
Haha.... this is out of character for me to write XD
ClawedBeauty101 Nov 2017
October, 27, 2017 (Friday)*

Flying down the open empty road, unaware of the surprise attack waiting for us ahead as we continued to drive.

My eyes set on the left side of the road, low like the cold temperature of the wind who's warmth couldn't be revived

A light breath of snowflakes swept over the road like floating silk as my eyes were stolen for a moment by a small feathered creature

Closed up like a rabbit in it's hollow, frozen like fish trapped in a sheet of ice, trembling like death was its new teacher

It was only a blink of a moment I saw it, and a gap of years seemed to rotate around this trap of love

"Mom.. I think that was an owl..." I said with my voice almost in a whispering disbelief. My hand giving her arm a wheel turning shove

"What should we do?" She said as if I was the higher authority. I turned my head to look back, in the opposite direction of the car.

"Turn around..." My mind got into a conflict with those words... I'd be late for work... That didn't worry me, even though we weren't that far...

I didn't know how much longer the animal of sky and flight could handle the harshness of Octobers cold shoulder.

I felt her foot slowly increase it's pressure onto the brakes, her small stormy Toyota turning around, being forced to submit to her.

Approaching slowly, the road was surprisingly empty and alone.  My pupils motionless as they starred

For a minute I believed the lies that I was being an idiot. My mind was tricked into thinking it was a small thick branch with many lairs.

But the truth screamed louder than the wind's howl as shards of ice and snow caused it's feathers to **** outward

To shield his small fragile body. My mind went blank, amazed to be able to steal this opportunity, the car slowly moved downward

Into a gravel driveway, that rested next to a stand. I removed my pink hoodie and inserted myself into the dangers of being alone

Begging and praying in my head to my Lord for guidance, I crossed the wide road, my soul knowing who was in control

  I crept behind the railing and as quickly and quietly as possible I approached it.

Numbed to my existence. It's head in a stage of black and deathly hibernation, I could see it's dying spirit

Lightly, I tossed the bright magenta hoodie over it like a net. A little hop was it's only reaction

I swung my legs over the railing and carefully surrounded it with my hoodie and hands, longing to show it passion.

But it's little strong black claws  fearfully grasped onto the cracks in the road. Like a hook trapped within the jaws of a fish.

I could feel nothing... Only the loud threatening heart beats within me, giving my bangs a swish.

With the steady guidance of patience, my shaking fingers removed his terrifying grip, and quickly swaddled him.

I carried him like a newborn infant as I cautiously recrossed the road, feeling my soul has met natures grim.

We both inserted ourselves into the heat blasting automobile, my mother gasped when she saw the little feathered screech owl cradled in my arms

Still trapped by hibernation's drug. I held him close to the heated vents,  hoping that life will be surrendered to the side of the warm.

His feathers were in several shades of tree bark brown, he had two little feathered peaks that looked like horns to a crown

Softer then even the silkiest chinchilla,  his eyes were closed, but within minutes, only the eye lashes of his right eye flickered around

Suddenly, time revolved around the neck of him, for he turned his head right towards me, and his right eye of sun bursting glow revealed its self to me.

My blood stopped pumping, my lungs shut down, my heart trapped in ice, my eyes making contact with his, feeling like a ship lost at sea.

One of Nature's King of the sky finally awakened, but what was his next move? For these little beast were proud and protective over their bodies

Where their wings have soared over, they claim as theirs, They have used their beaks and claws as weapons against my kind. They have been given the label of being naughty.  

Was I it's next victim? Was this choice a blood dripping trap? Was adoring my Lord's creation a mistake?

The Lord brought this little one in my path for a reason, how can I doubt His plan? For this moment, He wanted me to take.

It's round smooth moving head looked to the left, and then to the right, and then back at me, it's little eye blinking, and very tired

It jumped! But jumped closer into me. It's white and light brown feathered chest against mine. It's head cuddled right into my fingers like a tangled wire.

Softly and lightly I petted it's super soft silky small head, seeing his one eye going into a happy squint.

It only cuddled more and more, demanding more of this sweet affection. His eye gave me that hint

Soon, he started to wander around on my legs, exploring all of this high technology unknown to nature

Flew about a few times to test and experience the ways of human beings, his wings stretched out and soared like sliding glaciers

Once we approached our destination of a recuse center, his curiosity grew as he bonked his head against the dashboard window. The poor thing!

He looked at me, feeling shameful, and filled with stupidity as he flew to my lower arm, and then my elbow that was up high. He nested into it like a king.

He remained there and studied me, his eye never looking away. My soul was at peace until it lashed open it's left eye. My sight got drilled

It was only for an image of a second that I saw that bright red, dark purple, and indigo eye. His left eye was blood filled.

He quickly closed it and snuggled closer to my chest. I felt a hollow part of me being revealed and filled with grace

It's funny how the Lord planned everything out, how he allowed me to experience this sweet heart capturing moment of this wild owl's gentle face.

My Hallow, the name suits you well. For it was an honor for our Holy creator to allow me to interact with the forest beast of flight

A hollow part of me was realized and filled. A desire, a new way to make my Creator made known... through your opposite personality of fight

Permanently blind in your right eye, but your spirit is still sweet and calm to only me. Yours wings still spread like the wide flames of a wild fire

Your unique different colored eyes beaming with adorable sweet love. But also determination that is deep and dire.

You're small, but even our God used David to defeat Goliath. You're an animal, but God used a Donkey to lead Balaam away from danger!

You may not be normal again, but the Lord can still use you, for He has used you and many other animals in my life, although I was a stranger

Hallow, the Blood Filled Eye Screech Owl, I won't allow this lesson to be stolen from me, the lesson of freedom, wisdom, and trust.

The Lord will call us to do the craziest, weirdest, most unbelievable things at times. We shouldn't let these test turn to dust

and if the Lord called me to do something like this again...

*I'd do it in a heart beat...
Thank you Sarah Walker for teaching me about birds
Thanks Colin for Teaching me about death hibernation
Thank You Schafers for allowing me to come a day early to work because if that didn't happen, I wouldn't have seen him
Thank you Mom for helping me with Hallow
Thank you L's, for I wouldn't have seen him If I didn't so happen to look at your house XD
Thank You to the Rescue Center that is helping me take care of him.

If it wasn't for any of these people, I don't know what would have happen.
So... Thank You :)
1.4k · Jul 2018
I'm being... Haunted...
ClawedBeauty101 Jul 2018
One little reminder is all I need from you
And you get me on my knees and tear my veins right through

You leave a ****** rub-burn on my neck as you try to hang me on
But I choke and strangle my scream of help as I try to run and be gone...


I'm being Haunted...  I'm gonna Flaunt it...
Because the cancer of lies are dragging me down

I'm being Haunted... This isn't what I Wanted...
Because I'm trying to move on but my past is nailing my hands to the ground...

I'm being.... Haunted

You see me grasping for revival...
Reminding I am only facing one true rival...

You lay my fears and weaknesses out like a deck of cards
You know this game too well... Laughing and pointing with a win as I shout, "THIS GAME IS TOO HARD!!!".


I'm being Haunted...  I'm gonna Flaunt it...
Because the cancer of lies are dragging me down

I'm being Haunted... This isn't what I Wanted...
Because I'm trying to move on but my past is nailing my hands to the ground...

I'm being.... Haunted

Physically... Stabbing...
Mentally... Spinning
Emotionally... Draining
Spiritually... Weakening

Physically Aching...
Mentally Strangling
Emotionally Drowning
Spiritually Fading

Physically... I'm so sick and tired!!!
Mentally... So burned out and unwired!!!
Emotionally... Frozen and Numb to the Bone
Spiritually... DEAD AND ALONE!!!


I'm being Haunted...  I'm gonna Flaunt it...
Because the cancer of lies are dragging me down

I'm being Haunted... This isn't what I Wanted...
Because I'm trying to move on but my past is nailing my hands to the ground...

I'm being Haunted... Lock it up in my Closet
Because I'm trying to escape the mind that as been born to do wrong

I'm being Haunted... I'm telling you I've Lost it!!!
Because I've been going back and forth between thoughts and emotions for far too long!!!

I'm being... Haunted...

I'm telling you... I'm being... Haunted....
... trying to make it into a song...

WHY CAN'T THE PAST STAY IN THE PAST AND LEAVE ME ALONE!?!?!

God help me...
1.3k · Sep 2018
Drugged and Drunk on Regrets
ClawedBeauty101 Sep 2018
Let's all be honest... for once... let us all admit this statement...
Each of us has impaled a dozy pill of mistakes... inhaled regrets fragrant

A prescription of the many countless regrets... failures... and stupid moments
They come back like a drug side effect, attacking you as their opponent

Losing your sense of reality as you drunkenly laugh at the blessings
Numb to kindnesses touch as you roll off the couch of security... nervously sweating

Openly abusing the precious, pure body of wisdom... deaf to her rejecting scream...
She stood by your side... Telling you not to take another drink... not to get lost in marijuana's dream...

A foolish smirk sneaks on your face, your mind clouded by the vape and tobacco, blocking your judgment
Carelessly touching in all the wrong places... pleasurable? Your conscious shows no lament

Your lips are a bite... Your touch is a knife... your words are a poison... to not only wisdom... for it will backfire
You are finally evicted from Illusions hallucinations... you fell for such a devilish liar.

Your brain has rung the alarm to your entire body... memories of unwise choices bring head trama
A heavy alcoholic breath escapes your mouth of regretted words... full of gossips drama

You wobble on unstable feet.. and do not achieve your desired balance...
Falling to your knees... you see the blood... the tears... and the saliva of someone who is guilty... no use in using words of parlance

No lies can hide the guilt that clokes your face...
All evidence leads you down to your fate...

"Drugged and Drunk of Regrets" was the charge placed against you... then you were sent away
But be careful... Memories, thoughts, and feelings can lead your mind astray.

"Set them free... You have been given mercy..."
The Judge granted, without one drop of regret and worry

...Mercy... You have been given mercy for your crime...
So why continue to drug your self on regrets? It's not worth a dime!!

DON'T GET DRUNK ON THE PAST!!!!
THE OLD IS GONE!!! THE PAST WON'T LAST!!!

DON'T CONTINUE TO ****** YOUR THOUGHTS OF A HOPEFULLY FUTURE!!
I HAVE DONE THAT!!! DON'T BE HAPPINESSES CONSUMER!!

We all have been Drugged and Drunk of Regrets...
but the best thing to do... it to apologize... and forget...
Apologize... and Forget...
1.3k · Nov 2017
Was Yesterday A Dream?
ClawedBeauty101 Nov 2017
Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I can't seem to relive it again

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I felt like I just woke up. Give me a hand to lend.

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I have never felt every cell in my body shake like it would burst from existence

Was Yesterday A Dream?*

Because I can still hear My Lord's voice talking to me in the distance

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I kept on looking up to Heaven and asked "Why?"

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because for a split second, I believed I could fly

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because my eyes could not look away, they were out of my control

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I felt my Heart and Life began to unfold

Was Yesterday a Dream?

Because a Trio of disbelief slammed me into a pool of reality.

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because Number 1 returned home in the land of fantasy

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because Number 2 settled the questions of emotions in the mind

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because Number 3 surrendered everything to the Lord with all his life

Was Yesterday A Dream?

Because I feel like my body was just released from a shot wave of sleep.

WAS YESTERDAY A DREAM!?!?

Because what I experienced, what I saw, what I heard, I still can't believe

Was Yesterday A Dream?

No... No it was not, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday was not a dream...

Only Unrealistic mind blowing events that I least expected to happen it seems...

Was Yesterday A Dream?

No.. Gosh... I need a recovery of sleep... My mind is runned down,, My Heart is in an ache, and My Soul is in a stir

Good Night Everyone...
Dear Lord.... Grant me wisdom for the Trio of events, for these three things I did not expect to occur...

November 14 - 16, 2017.
1.2k · Oct 2018
Why I Hate Math
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
Negative + Negative  =  A Greater Negative Outcome
Positive + Positive = A Greater Positive Outcome

And then we know...
A lesser negative + a greater positive = an in-between-the-two positive
A lesser positive + a greater negative =  an in-between-the-two negative

and a Positive * a Positive = a MUCH greater positive

but... explain how the flipp'n heck this is possible...

Negative * Negative = Positive...
When will a negative, times a negative, equal a positive in this lifetime... when will a positive solution be revealed...
I hate math...
ClawedBeauty101 Jul 2017
Do you realize what you do? Whenever you delete one of us?

You use minutes of your life to write us up, Isn't that such a bust?

We wait around patiently in your drafts, possibly abandoned or alone

Hoping for that day where we will be finished and complete, your profile would be our home!

But there was something about us that you didn't like

Instead of revising and editing, you clicked "DELETE". You gave up the fight!

Change us! Revive us! Turn us into something that will please you!

Afraid of what people may think of us? Then allow us to seal their lips like glue!

We will be whatever you want us to be, but PLEASE give us a chance!

Are you a coward? Are you too lazy? You have everything you need in advance!

Don't let us go so quickly! Please don't put us to shame!

Or do you only see us as empty words with no meaning on a blank white page....
Here is a Challenge I want all of you to take on
Take a Poem that you Deleted, you thought that was gone
Post in the comments and see what will happen
Let's see how many complements you can gain, let this begin!
Edit it to your hearts desire
Let's see if this Poem can grow on FIRE!!!!
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
Well, guess what?
I'm really completely broken apart inside
thrown and shattered into tiny pieces that lie
This is just am outside cover...
Impressed?
1.1k · Jan 2019
"You're Pretty."
ClawedBeauty101 Jan 2019
A stranger came up to me and said to my face
"I just want to say that you're pretty." My emotions, he tried to persuade

Is that all you got? Is that all you see?
An image that is pleasing and beautiful to your eyes? Is that me?

An object to complement, admire, and then leave behind?
You didn't ask how I am, if I'm okay, or say anything to comfort my mind

I can't stand men...
Because to most of them

I am a shadow of a statue they wish to see
But will never get... I was not created to appease

1/28/19
...Don't get me wrong, it was a sweet compliment, but I would much rather receive it from someone who is of the Lord and means every bit of what he says because he doesn't see an image or an object. BUT A PERSON WHO THEY WILL LOVE AND CHERISH FOREVER NO MATTER WHAT I DO
ClawedBeauty101 Jul 2019
Little did I realize that only monster in the room was me.
Hee hee... at least I'm a cute little monster
1.0k · Oct 2018
•E•M•O•S•
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018

•Emotional•
•Messes•
•Of•
•☻Smiles☻•

Fake Smiles...
993 · Dec 2017
Labels...
ClawedBeauty101 Dec 2017
Dead...
The nightmare from hell
A ****** at heart
The shadow that fell...

Dark...
The ash against the snow
The black sheep of the family tree
What Labels do I not know?...

Doomed...
The fault line in the ground
The corner of the darkest hall
Where no life is found...


Time has passed and your Labels mean nothing to me now!!!

For where sin abounds... Grace all the more abounds!!!


Redeemed...
Temple of the Holy Ghost
A branch of the True vine!
Holy and Blameless before God and the Heavenly Host...

Righteous...
Seated in the heavenly places with Christ
God’s workmanship
Partaker of His promise, through the ****** price...

Raised...
From my death grappling grave of sin
Was once dark but now filled with light
One of the many unworthy who were chosen

It's been so recently those Labels have been eating me alive...

But Lord you always remind me who I am in Christ!

The Labels make me crumble up... have I failed to be a guide?

Your word and church, they bring me strength to survive!...

                      **Shut Up Labels! For I have Been Revived!
Romans 3:24 - But they are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus
1 Corinthians 6:19 - Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?
John 15:1, 5 - I am the true vine and my Father is the gardener. I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me--and I in him--bears much fruit, because apart from me you can accomplish nothing.
Ephesians 1:4 - For he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world that we may be holy and unblemished in his sight in love

2 Corinthians 5:21 - God made the one who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that in him we would become the righteousness of God
Ephesians 2:6 - And he raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus …
Ephesians 2:10 - For we are his workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them.
Ephesians 3:6 - The Gentiles are fellow heirs, fellow members of the body, and fellow partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus

Colossians 3:1 - Therefore, if you have been raised with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.
Galatians 5:1 - For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not be subject again to the yoke of slavery.
Ephesians 5:8 - For you were at one time darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of the light.
1 Thessalonians 1:4 - We know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you …


May make this into a song someday Lord willing, I know everyone has been given a Label, and as you can see from reading the poem I have been given quiet a few and several more. It doesn't matter what and who the world says I am, it what God says I am and as long I am doing what the Lord is telling me to do and I am obeying him, I should NOT fear these Labels...

I do hope and pray someday I'll be given a new label... or seen differently...for now... all I can do is pray and wait
986 · Dec 2017
Scattered Beads
ClawedBeauty101 Dec 2017
Sitting on my thrown... A thrown of highly stacked orange chairs, all lined up in rows...

I looked down over the world, I was higher then even the tallest of my youth.  I was no show

Simply claiming my kingdom of independence.  Sitting up and watching like a lioness in demand

In demand of discernment and wisdom, for she can't afford failing... Visitors came unplanned

Tense...unprepared for this surprise attack, my heart leaped, shock forced my body to jump down...

Down to a lower level where I rightfully belonged... The third chain of a story broke promise, the ending of one of my neck's crowns

I ran, my feet punching the ground, not noticing the trail of scatter beads that followed my every foot step...

Too tiny for anyone to notice...black..and blue.. rolling away to hide.. not knowing these people's love had no depth

The jewel of the story flying away into a corner of a memory filled hall... the chandeliers crystal whispers were heard

Ignoring the callings of my fake name... I ran into the heart of the church... rows of pews starred at me... I didn't speak a word

More beads scattered behind me, as my emotions and feelings scattered along with them.

The silence never felt so dead as I ran towards the back, my soul singing a surrendering hymn.

The two left over neck crowns mourned for their lost friend, as I mourned over the lack of knowledge of the future

  Again I heard my fake name... depression devoured my hunger in one swallow,  the beginning of a tumor

"I... I just want to do your will... other may ask for love... or comfort... or wisdom...  or answers... and that isn't bad..."

"...but all I ask and beg... is to have Your will be done... use me in anyway you see fit... it doesn't matter what I must suffer... I'll forever praise you and be glad..."

"Show me your will and way..." I confirmed... not caring if people saw me as fool of weakness and hopelessness...

I heard two sets of foot steps behind me, my skin on edge, my small cold hearted hands revealing their recklessness

Running out of the back exit, I heard my nick name again, freezing I turned around to see them panting from exhaustion

Two of my fellow followers if you will, took me captive, and reintroduced me to the loud company of people in motion

Only meaning the best, I followed them and lined up with the other Christ fighting soldiers

Hand over our hearts, I didn't feel the comforts of the third crowns jewel... my eyes scattering around the hollow gym... I saw beads roll of my shoulder...

Embarrassed... I back away from the line to wonder off alone... I left without being questioned

The beads on the floor shared with me their fears of being crushed, and loneliness. Telling me to ignore the session

Seeking around my thrown for answers... I found nothing... so off again I ran... plunging my self into the silence

My black rose laced arms cross I looked around for that bottled jewel. To it, I am a giant

More then a charm... more then something that hung around my neck... It was a story... a story that redirected my path...

The tiniest things can have the most incomparable meaning... like one of the five cities of the Philistines where Goliath came from; Gath...

Such a small detail we don't often recognize... But such a butterfly effect can create a rip the space time continuum.

I found my jewel... hiding alone in a corner in that hall that contained many beautiful moments that are anything but a residuum.

Filled with relief, I gently picked it up and hide it tightly in the palm of my hand

A little bottle filled with bird seeds and rock dove feathers, indeed it's vanity, but meanings should be scanned

Walking back to my piers,  I couldn't help but to catch some of their eyes lay on me.

I don't blame them, I made a spectacle of my self over wanting to be alone and a charm, but I had to make a plea...

Entering my self into the group, I look towards the shining silver bleachers where my two chained necklace and bottled charm laid...

Silly of my to say... but someday the third chain will be restored... but it will have a new story to proclaim...

I still could see the scattered beads, they surround the people I claimed as my home, I know each face

Yes... My emotions are in a scatter, but at least they are scatter in the same place...
I know it seems like a silly, useless, non important poem/story event to write, but I don't know. It's was just kind of funny how my emotions came in synced with the objects that are connected to my talents. Yeah it was just a simple necklace and it didn't both me that it broke. Heck I can fix it XD but the charm couldn't have been replaced.  Maybe I'll write a poem about the charm maybe it not :P. It was just a strange simple event that wasn't that big at all in the physical world, but in the mind in heart, it had a way deeper meaning. the Event wasn't even that noticeable XD but.... ehh... just kinda felt like this was something the Lord wanted me to write.
959 · Jun 2018
DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2018
You have made my toss and turn, and fill me with guilt in my dreams and sleep

Slyly whispering in a gentle snare my mistakes that you say define who I am. You allow it to sink in deep

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

You strike me when I am limp and weak, for an easier ****

Repenting over and over again for the fool I am and was, trying to find the path I must fulfill

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

You do all you can to divide and conquer with your snake biting words
I AM SICK of fighting against your lie filled fangs, my past I know you've heard

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

I AM NOT GOING TO QUARREL AROUND IN MY PAST THAT I CAN NOT CHANGE!!!

AND I REFUSE TO KEEP MY EYES TO THE GRAVE YOU SAY IS FOR THE STRANGE

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

You use depression as a shackle on my feet, and use regret as a chain for my wrist

You lock me in the dark to believe that I am alone and convince me that it's the past I miss

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

You try to infest me with your darkness, make me believe that it is my image

You remind me what my flesh desires in a convincing voice that makes me scrimmage

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

YOU DO NOT DEFINE ME!!! THE PAST IS NOT WHO I AM!!!

WHAT I WANT AND DESIRE AND NOT WHAT I NEED!!! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A SCAM!!!

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

You have forgotten that there is still life and light in me, and so have many others

You believed I was contained, but even the Messiah escaped, isn't that such a pother?

DEVIL YOU AND YOUR LIES ARE NOTHING TO ME!!!

THIS FEAR WILL NO LONGER KEEP ME AS A PRISONER!!!

AND YOU WILL NOT KEEP MY LIGHT HIDDEN AWAY THROUGH HIM I AM VICTORIOUS AND A WINNER

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

You can threaten me all you want with your reminders of my mistakes

But I have been given new life, I will not be drowned in your lies that make up your flaming lake

DEVIL STOP HAUNTING ME!!!

You have forgotten that the flame you love hides a light that burns

I can allow it to melt away the things that bring me down... it is now my turn...

My turn to be set free... and my turn to define all odds through Him...
NO DEVIL! YOU DO NOT DEFINE ME!!!

Forgive me if this poem wasn't at all very good... I plan on revising it but I just had to write this...

June 6, 2018 4:37am
931 · Jan 2018
....Chok(h)er....
ClawedBeauty101 Jan 2018
A command the neck hugging necklace was given

.....Chok(h)er.....

Believing the suffocation will comfort her fears and insecurites

....Chok(h)er....

A dazzle is distress is it's appropriate title. Secretly, into her skin it is driven.

....Chok(h)er....

Believing it has the right to silence her nerves that desire to warn her of their up coming death

....Chok(h)er....

Innocent in charm, it convinces her neck and brain to go numb. Her voice now hidden

....Chok(h)er....

Soon to be mute, this man made design,  confined to her neck

....Chok(h)er....

Is the unseen burden she carries. This chain of confinement should be forbidden

....Chok(h)er....

This piece of dark fashion, shows its goal loud and crystal clear

So why are people blinded?


For it is called...
The Choker...
....The Chok(h)er....
MEANING BELOW!!!

I have nothing against this beautifully designed piece of shadow jewelry XD for I wear them all the time!

But it is interesting how it is called a choker
Sometimes I find my voice mute... My singing fading because I wear them so much, and so tightly they damage the nerves in the back of my neck, and slowly bring forth numbness to the rest of my upper body...

It's like this, the chokers can represent the sin or danger in our lives that is so noticeable and clear, that we either ignore it or are to blinded to see it.

And we don't usuall see it until it's to late... Our if we do see it...  it's either to late to do something about it....
Or...
We notice it just in time and we are able to remove that danger before we get hurt, or someone else gets hurt...

Some thing so innocent and charming can be the most dangerous, painful thing in your life, just like a choker...

We can't become a slave to something that is so wicked, like sin, looks so harmless and innocent

But if not taken cared it correctly or removed... It will devour you.. And you will be it's slave...

Sometimes that numbness and pain we suffer can seem like a comfort zone for us, a place to feel safe,  but that pain will only betray you...

How much longer you spend this suffocation.. Of your Chok(h)er women of young and old (This also goes for men too XD)

Jesus is the Way
1/27/2018 (Saturday)
ClawedBeauty101 Nov 2017
There he is, my little baby boy, his fluffy ginger fur spiked out in all directions.

His eyes, like coco powder surrounding a drop of pure vanilla. They are so big and heart catching I have to mention.

His spiraled tail laid over his back and spread out like a fire work. Curly and a sandy color, it stands out against his Gingerbread coat.

His tiny, dainty, quick moving paws always in a scurry as he races to his little window, barking in a  high pitch squeal, his spirit always in a float.

His fur flows in a fluffy rustle when he stands outside to strut his pride, his little mocha mountain peaks alert and doesn't miss a single action.

He walks like the world revolves around him, he runs for nothing but his own fancy desires, He flaunts his cute looks, with the sway of his tail and barks at other dogs just to get a good reaction.

His white furred lips speak of whimpers and pleads to me whenever I'm down,  He lays over my arms when I type, sick of not being the center of attention.

He allows his two back legs to fly behind him when he kicks in demand. He bangs his two front paws to the ground when he's frustration for not getting his way. There's too much tension.

I can't help but to laugh at the pathetic adorable soul! Thinking he can live his spoiled "perfect" worry-free life forever.

But even the greatest break, people wear a mask, and so do dogs! He pretends he doesn't need any body. He think's he's so clever!

Behind that perfectly circular face of fluff and eye seeking attention, is a heart of fear... There is no drop of bravery within him...

As his mother, as his human, as his owner I feel his fear, for we both fear the same thing... The higher authority, our changes to them are dim...

When he is around them, his tail hangs low to hide it's spark, his shiny wondering eyes look down in shame of his small size and courage.

His mountain peeks collide in an avalanche. They lay back and hide their mighty heights. His hopefulness for joy could not flourish...

His eyes water up like a river from a down pour... have you ever seen tears pour from a dogs eyes at a constant rate? I have...

His pride as an Alpha was only an act, his true identity is all omega, his mind and heart have been split into halves...

He's high pitch but low noted howl does not ring when he is in the state of depression as omega. He instead taps his two little light paws against my chair as I sit...

I look down and sadly sometimes I ignore him. My mind already in a struggle. But the little one is wise as well. He'll kick his back legs and howl to catch my attention and throw a fit!

He knows I need his little fluffy sweet comfort, and he needs my warm embrace and my soft lap.

The only time he always look so content and happy is when I hold the little dear and he purposely falls backwards so I may hold him like a baby, an opportunity I have to grab

He has a big smile on his soft furry face, his eyes pleasantly closing, his body pliable and limb.

You would think he was fake by the peaceful contentment on his face, his little black paws up in the air, so many adore him

Only because of his physical appearance, not because of the longing to change sweet hearted Pomeranian from within

When I set him down, the peace instantly breaks, his happiness is shattered, his nose sniffing up at me in disbelief, he needs thicker skin.

Munchkin... you had two owners before us, the first one threw you out of the car in front of a pet store...

The other locked you up in your cage for too many helpless countless hours... you remember this for sure.

The Lord is merciful... for we have came to the rescue, your soul is now being built back up... we promise we won't abandon you. I won't abandon you...

If only you knew how the Lord has used you in my life... The blessing you have been. This owner ship refuses to move.

You are my sweet Pomeranian Munchkin... and I am your owner
Have No Fear Little Fluff.. Have No Fear  

*I love you <3
Thank you Lord for using Munchkin to teach me to control my anger, to train me for the future, for being such a loving comfort, for the bond me and my little boy share, and for using him to open my eyes more to your mercy's and abundant grace.  I know I don't deserve anything  at all. Praise You Lord.
887 · Dec 2017
If I am an Open Wound...
ClawedBeauty101 Dec 2017
Then you would be the alcohol that is burning me from the inside out...

*but at least your seeping pain is allowing me to heal...
The Only thing I have to say - you are painful... but at least you are allowing me to heal from the damage others have caused....
883 · Jul 2017
Droplets To Remember
ClawedBeauty101 Jul 2017
The clock is endlessly ticking away its mournful song of the past

Second by second, droplets of years ago stream down the watercourse of time

They race by so hastily, not even the human eye can catch a memory that is enclosed in each droplet.

For years, too many years, I have been granted to hold on to a few of these faint droplets.

The foolish say there are always more droplets that will come

Either from the blinding blue sky that cries from delight  

Or from the shadows of it that come at night.

But to me, no other droplet can replace them.

Though the memory is weak, and the droplets are slowly leaking away through the cracks of my small fragile hands

I fight; I fight with every pound of my heart to keep them alive.

Though I have lost many battles, and much of my own blood to keep them hidden and alive, I know my waiting will pay off

For these droplets of a distant memory, will someday be given back to the one who created it....

I don’t know for how much longer these droplets will last, but thy one who thought they have already escaped my life 10 years ago….

I am waiting for you....

~ Cat's Shadow ///
878 · Jul 2019
Sometimes Princesses...
ClawedBeauty101 Jul 2019
Have to fight their dragon themselves
This is going to be a big one to face...
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2018
I'm so sick and tired of trying...
                                          Anything I try to accomplish leaves me dying

I hate this frustration... I hate this urge...
                  God, I'm waiting... I'm trying... This feeling I want to  purge

What do you want? What is it I need to do???
        I feel so lost... so far gone on the path I need to be on... I've been removed...

Can you see my trembling hands?... That are too heavy to lift?
               They are chained to the edge... This wasn't what I wished...

My stomach is ******* in knots... My body is ripping apart
Lord...YOU PUT THE SOUND IN THIS BEATING LIVING HEART

I AM SO SHAKE'N I am grasping on to the edge.... and I can't see the bottom
You tell me to let go.... and I stare at you with wide eyes... "What's the problem?"

My hands are being scratched as I try to hold on....bleeding and fading...
"I can't see the bottom... what if I don't survive when I reach it?" My body was shaking...

"I'll be there to catch you..." "Will it hurt? Lord, I'm so scared... Don't let me go.."
"My child... look... and believe.. and trust me... let go.."

I cried out... trembling in fear... so terrified.. wishing to live.
but at the same time... wishing I could die away to escape this pain... let it give...

"Let go...." "God...No...please no..." I begged, in a soft helpless voice...
You kneel down to me, my body slowly slipping away into the challenge of darkness. "Fine... You leave me no choice..."

You cut the chains... and watch me fall...
I found myself screaming... as I curled pathetically into a ball...

I whimpered... as my hair stood on end and entangled its self into a snarled web.
The speed of winds suffocate my nostrils, the free fall of emptiness hugged me "There is no hope..." it said

Am I the name of conflict? Why does it feel like I'm stuck into this eternal free fall of the same emotion?
The color never changes... only the shadows around me seem to be growing darker and closer with every motion...

"Lord... YOU SAID YOU WOULD CATCH ME!!!! SO WHERE ARE YOU!?!"
I cry as this vertical hole began to enclose and grow thinner... and there's nothing I can do...

Banged... Scrapped... Bruised... Injured... from my body forcefully going down this narrow hole...
Blood blocking my vision... wanting to die just to escape this torment... wanting to take back control...

I'm blacking out... let me see the light again... although all of this hurts... and it feels like it's all getting worse...
it's worth going through... because, Lord... I know you'll catch me... and build me back up...but stronger... through this one Hell of a course...

\                                                     ­                                                              /
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                                            PLEASE CATCH ME
         I may not understand... and I may lose a limb or two...
I may want to die... I may not understand... but I won't stop..I trust
                                                       YOU!!
8.24.18
ClawedBeauty101 Feb 2018
A little bit ago a friend of mine gave me a book

and little did I know that when I started to read, it would soon get me hooked

Reading life changing events of every characters and the struggles that they go through

when they fall and do something foolish I can't help but to break and kneel and barely move

because I know there people in this world who make the same stupid choices and mistakes

they have misguided thoughts, acting without thinking, and disrespect the opposite ***, my tears become a lake

I don't cry because of a conflict within the story line

I cry because I know there are fools out here in reality who live similar lives
(This poem will probably end up being deleted but... Thought I'd give it a shot at least)

It's sad how you see character a person real life do something are goes through something and you know what's going to happen next and you're so frustrated you can't do anything about it, and the times you are able to do something about it you're too afraid to... If you remain silent, you have no clue that you are just as much of a fool as they are

STRONGLY SUGGEST READING KAREN KINGSBURY "Fifteen Minutes"
ClawedBeauty101 Apr 2018
Where was it I left off? Oh yes, the rebellion of a slave to its master

I Believed my deceitful heart knew the way, but the way to disaster

As the days visited me and went, the colder I grew, and the more beauty fled

I scratched, I punched, I kicked, I hit the doors to try to break them open... and continuously I bled...

My eyes grew white and blind... so I could not see the destruction I was causing to myself and around me...

I was so certain that this hall was the hall where my life would unfold, where I'd find everything I could ever need...

Skin chipped away, muscles scrapped slowly down to the bitter bone...  I refused to have anything heal

I made a blood pool mess of pride at the entrance... along with a few puddles of a broken deal...

My God did not leave me though... He was there... but within spirit... but I denied it...I didn't care about my loss of purity

"Do you not have trust?" A young blonde servant whispered, kneeling to my level of insecurity...

"Why continue to make your self suffer when you can rise again?"

"And what reason would I have to rise? My desired fellowship will never amend..."

I intended to be rude to show her kindness and words were not welcome here

"You sound as if our Master is unfair... You doubt him.. you doubt his decisions, His choices, it's that clear..."

"You must be in His favor... To be so hopeful and life filled... Do you even have the slightest taste of suffering?"

Her knees laid in my pool of blood, her blue jeweled eyes stared into mine, my mind constantly puzzling

Closing those sapphires, and reopening them brought forth a vision of her past or tormenting love and tears

" Foolish girl... You're selfish to believe you are alone in this feeling... I was ONCE lock in your cell... Trapped by fear"

"And there are more down another hall who would know that pain all too well... Please... arise and come with me..."

"Why?.... What's the point when I have already fallen and failed and there is no possible better beauty..."

"They can answer your doubts and questions since they have had the same shoes..."

".... but I'm too blinded to even see my self... all I see is strangely you.." I tried to look down... but pain wouldn't allow me to move

"Then I guess you have no choice but to trust me... Do you think you can treat your wounds if you can't even see your own body?"

Anger irrupted inside of me... Only because I know this Blonde was right. So with her guiding hand, I rose to my feet

My soul screaming and shouting... Begging to rebell... but how could I? My body was dying and in defeat...

One warm white skinned arm wrapped around my brittle waist to guide me to the other side of the castle

A trail of blood footprints followed behind me... As I felt the connection between my flesh and the beaten door hassled

Trying to carefully slip away... I could feel the strength in her arm... there was no escape

So off me and this Blonde went... Leaving behind the hall that I want and also, or so I thought, the Hall God had planned and shaped...
.....sorry it took a while... Part 3 should be out soon if you guys still want it.... again sorry about that...
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2017
There she was... In the arms of my sister-in-law
Peaceful and quiet, oblivious to my flaws.
A daughter, a new born, a stranger to this world
Bright, lovely, and beautiful, even when she wiggled and curled.
I froze, I didn't dare to take a step closer to my niece
For her father was my brother, he trusted me the least
I feared him, I thought of him as a king, and I as his slave
My eyes surrender themselves to the ground, my hands folding to behave.
My ears awakened by the small bursting cry of hunger
My eyelids raised to get a quick glimpse of the little light, but every moment got harder.
I tried to ignore the small frail infant, but it's match of fire kept on trying to set flame to my charcoal heart
My brother's hawk eyes dashed to me, tightly swaddling his piece of art.
My shadow colored claws dug into my waist as my pupils refused to obey
My soul was peeling as he got up and insisted that I sat down, he knows I've been lead astray.
I shook my head, the prideful side of me afraid to hold the young one who knew no knowledge
Like a wipe, his finger in a flicker pointed to the seat again. I had a choice, to listen or jump off the edge.
My conscious gave up and was force to yield.
I saw my hands shaking, my wounds now unhealed
I sat in the gray leather chair, my sense devoured in one swallow
I raise my head, my fedora blocking the ceiling lights, my mind forced to follow
The instructions of him "Put your arms out." was his command
I did.... but like the speed of a bullet, my arms shot back, crying was in demand.
I feared him, I feared her, I feared them all. For I was a disgrace, a mockery of the them all.
For I knew I was so unworthy to receive such an opportunity after such a fall.
I shook my head, I could feel every bone trapped under my skin crack and snap with every breath I harshly inhaled.
Did I dare waste a moment like this? Do I wish to refuse this chance to hold something so pure. My selfishness had to bale.
I release my numb and limb arms out into the strange open air
I still had no desire to hold her, but what other opportunity would I have to be fair.
When She was gently set into my arms, I felt a bullet of instant regret, but then things calmed down as her reached out and touched me...
My tears ran down her light, soft, pink finger as she made a faint joyful sound of rest. My soul still didn't believe...
My eyes blinked motionlessly, starring into her darling little face.
I trembled, scared that I would be a failure once again to the young innocent trace.
But her little smile... It had... removed the tar from my beating ticker...
I embraced her closely, crying into her petal like chest that was covered in a blanket, my tears got thicker...
Within seconds, I whispered into her sensitive fragile ear
My wishes.... my dreams.... my pleas.... and my fears...

"Please...please love me... I might have been a failure to them... but please... don't make me a failure of you... help them to trust me again... help them to love me again... I am sorry....so so sorry... please... I know I'm selfish... so prideful... but please... embrace me... forgive me... I swear.... I am trying...I..i a..am....tr...tryi...trying..."

I Love You Lily... Thanks for Everything...
*For through you... The Lord has unblinded me from my bright reality...
For my dear niece who sparked a flame in me...
ClawedBeauty101 Jan 2018
I am running... into a tunnel that seems to be nothing but a galaxy of voices

Echo the stars into its shooting state,  for I chose to ignore their choices

Comets have left their trace,  But like an icy breath,  their existence goes extinct

Cover my ears! For their twinkling whispers of constellations will never predict

The future laid aside for this black hole Dreamer. For I have disposed the old axis

The dwarfs of my outter life I have chosen to betray,  I need a morphallaxis

Soften my core with an after glow ripple of silence, and open up wisdom through the coronal holes

Cover My Ears! I only listen to the language of the Solar winds. It understands my soul

My planet has enough craters... No more damage shall be done.  I am the mistress of dark matter

My  past and  memories have been dipped in the light of a lunar eclipse,  it's blood scatters

Only within a Large field of view can I  recognize it's purpose. Not through men's atmosphere

Cover My Ears! I must deal with these super clusters of instincts alone. Now and Here

The Super Novas have no sensitivity to the relationship of  Outer Space and  Precious moments

Gravity is quick to make me stumble...So now I beg the Novas to no longer see me as an opponent

My life has been spilt into two hemispheres. Meteors shower down, destroying every Neutron Star

Cover My Ears!  For only my eyes will notice the Satellite from afar

Where is my home? The milky way?  The singularity of my black hole had ****** me in

Please someone! Anyone!  Flare me away at the speed of light! No longer do I wish to be a captive of sin

Once blinded by the Oort cloud,  But praise the Nebula's, I am now a T-Tauri of a young force and desire

Cover My Ears! Oh Zeinth! So I may focus on your celestial point of view.  Your rays are my purifier.

*Cover My Ears...
Definition for the Space words (https://amazing-space.stsci.edu/glossary/#T-Z)

After Glow - a sudden BURST of fireball gamma rays from deep space

Atmosphere - The layer of gases SURROUNDING the surface of a planet, moon, or star.

Axis - An imaginary line through the center of an object. The object ROTATES around this line.

Black Hole - A region of space containing a huge amount of mass compacted into an extremely small volume. A black hole’s gravitational influence is so strong that nothing, not even light, can ESCAPE ITs grasp.

Comet - A ball of rock and ice. A comet’s “signature” long, glowing tail is formed when the Sun’s heat warms the coma or nucleus.

Constellations -A geometric PATTERN of bright stars that appears grouped in the sky.  

Core - The CENTRAL region of a planet, star, or galaxy.

Coronal Holes - Regions in the corona from which the high-speed solar wind is known to originate.  

Craters - A bowl-shaped DEPRESSION caused by a comet or meteorite colliding with the surface of a planet, moon, or asteroid.

Dark Matter - Matter that is too DIM to be detected by telescopes. Dark matter MAKES UP most of the total mass of the universe.

Dwarf - a dwarf planet has NOT cleared away any loose cosmic rubble from its orbit

Field pod View - The area of the sky VISIBLE through a telescope.

Flare - A SUDDEN and VIOLENT outburst of solar energy that is often observed in the vicinity of a sunspot or solar prominence

Galaxy - A COLLECTION of stars, gas, and dust bound together by gravity

Gravity - The attractive FORCE between all masses in the universe

Hemisphere - HALF of a spherical or roughly spherical body

Lunar Eclipse - A DARKENING of the Moon, as viewed from Earth, caused when our planet passes between the Sun and the Moon

Meteor - A BRIGHT STREAK of light in the sky caused when a meteoroid enters the Earth’s atmosphere.  

Milky Way - a spiral galaxy, is the HOME of Earth.

Morphallaxis - REGENERATION by the transformation of existing body tissues.

Nebula - A cloud of gas and dust located between stars and/or surrounding stars. Nebulae are often places where stars FORM

Neutron Star - An extremely COMPACT ball of neutrons created from the central core of a star that collapsed under gravity during a supernova explosion.

(Super) Novas - The EXPLOSIVE death of a massive star whose energy output causes its expanding gases to glow brightly for weeks or months.

Oort Cloud - A vast spherical region in the outer reaches of our solar system where a trillion long-period comets reside.

Planet - An OBJECT that orbits a star. Although smaller than stars, planets are relatively large and shine only by reflected light.

Satellite - A man-made object that orbits Earth, the Moon, or another celestial object.

Singularity -  black hole’s center, where the matter is thought to be infinitely dense, the volume is infinitely small, and the force of gravity is INFINITELY large.
Solar Winds - STREAMS of charged particles flowing from the Sun at millions of kilometers an hour.

Speed of Light - The speed at which light (photons) travels through empty space is roughly 3 * 108 meters per second or 300 million meters per second.

Super Clusters - a CLUSTER of galaxies which themselves occur as clusters.
T-Tauri - A class of very YOUNG, flaring stars on the verge of becoming normal stars fueled by nuclear fusion.

Zeinth -The point on the CELESTIAL sphere that is directly above the observer.

        Cat Lynn ///                                                            
January 31, 2018
822 · Jul 2017
Good Bye Night Owl
ClawedBeauty101 Jul 2017
Sweeping through the air, it's eyes of white and glow cutting through the emotionless thick darkness

It's speeds going according to the laws of its kind

Traveling for miles and several minutes, just to reach its single destination

For Years, it continued it's back and force pace over and over again

Doing it for the remaining love that still abides

Until one day, as it's driver went blank, her eyes lifeless, her mind mute

The alarming screams of her daughters shattering the peace

The wheels of the owl still progressing, their pace staying at 50 mph

A heart attack impact left a scar in the passenger’s hearts

As the Night Owl slammed its metal civic body against many others of its kind

A silent prayer of an unseen person was heard

The cracked windshield was all the women driver could see

Knowing that it was the Last of the Night Owl that she will ever grasp

Though the Night Owl had it's last flight on Route 57

The memories that were melted into it forever still remain

Good Bye Night Owl....

5/9/15
This is talking about the car accident my mother and two of my sisters got into. My mother had a seizure while driving, and one of my sisters happened to be on the phone, and while she was on the phone, she screamed, and her friend started to pray for us, the Night Owl was my mother's car. How she loved that thing. But it's a shame it had to be taken away, but I'm blessed that the Lord protected my mom and sisters and everyone else in the accident.
796 · Jan 2019
~F•I•N•E~
ClawedBeauty101 Jan 2019
Listen... I said I was

•F• alling Apart
•I• nsecure
•N• eglected
•E• mpty

So if I say that I'm •FINE•.... I'm •FINE•... I'm not lying to you...
Its just some are too stupid to realize what the word •FINE• actually means...
770 · Dec 2017
No... I'm Not...
ClawedBeauty101 Dec 2017
Some of the many things people say...

"You're a Winner!"

No... I'm Not...

"You're Beautiful!"

No... I'm Not...

"You're Strong!"

No... I'm Not...

"You're Good!"

No... I'm Not...

"You're Worthy!"

No I am Not!!!

Because Out Side Of Christ I am  NONE Of These Things

"You're Failure!"

No I'm Not...

"You're Ugly"

Not I'm Not...

You're Weak!

No I'm Not...

You're Bad!

No I'm Not...

You're Unworthy

No I'm Not!!!

Because Now That I Am In Christ, I am NONE Of Those Things
Outside of Christ I am nothing, Inside of Christ, He is Everything
Colossians 1:17 - 18
"He is before all things. and in Him, all things hold together and He is the head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy."
743 · Sep 2019
...Stirred...
ClawedBeauty101 Sep 2019
If i was to admit what has been stirred
I know on my life, I would only be cursed
Somethings are better kept unsaid...
ClawedBeauty101 Nov 2018
•†•

•Going•
♥☻♥
•Out•
•♥†♥•
•Through•
♥☻♥
•Hell•

•†•
What Being or Feeling Goth is About
But one day, that Hell will end.
This is just a phase of my life.
ClawedBeauty101 Nov 2017
Please Stop, put on brakes
I don't know how to answer...

Please Stop, pause the moment
Life won't go on forever...

PLEASE STOP! Let me take it in...
Spare me your time...

Please Stop, I need a minute to breathe
Be patient. This Era is harder to climb

Please Stop...


Please Go... Your wearing me out
My heart can't take this pace

Please Go... Your burning me up
These ashes are leaving a trace

PLEASE GO! Your making holes!
In my heart! You are so cruel!

Please Go... It's hurting me so
My body has become a blood pool

Please Go...


Please Come! My eyes long to see thee
I don't desire to live alone

Please Come! I don't know who you are
I'm not suppose to bare these burdens on my own

PLEASE COME! Join me in this world
To do the work of Christ, and reach out to those who are lost

Please Come! I don't care where we go!
I wanna serve the Lord with you no matter the cost

Please Come...


Please Stay! My last breath is in your hand!
My final second can come with your words

Please Stay! You have forgiven my Betrayal
An Eternal future? This indeed I've heard

PLEASE STAY!!! My time on Earth is for serving You!
I'll cut off every limb! And break every decree!

Please Stay! For if there was no you...
There is no tomorrow, nor any hope of being set free!

Please Stay...


Who are these Letters To? Read Below and You will soon know.

Distractions... Please Stop!
Sins... Please Go!
Beloved Husband... Please Come!
Lord... Please Stay!

*This is my prayer... and I will allow them to take their place...
Please Stop...
Please Go...
Please Come...
Please Stay...

I beg you...
695 · Feb 2019
I'm sorry...
ClawedBeauty101 Feb 2019
I'm sorry that I try my dang hardest and best...
And still manage to fail... and make you fall..

I'm really... sorry...

Sorry..
...I cant seem to stop apologizing.. and I cant lie when i say I am afraid... and I'm fighting to be comfortable and brave again..

I'm so sorry
685 · Jun 2019
The life you want
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2019
The life you want
Is not yours to have

The life you want
You believe would make you more glad

The life you want
You covet and try to steal away

The life you want
Is not yours to claim

The life you want
Is all my life is

THIS IS MY LIFE
BUT YOU WANT ME TO GIVE!

The life you want
Would be two of mine

My life is what you want!
You've crossed the line

The life you want
Prohibits me from being special

The life you want
Will only fire missiles

The life you want
I can not understand

When the life you want
Is everything I am...
I have not comment for this poem


I'm so tired of myself
679 · May 2018
Living in an Inverted World
ClawedBeauty101 May 2018
Can you envision it now? An Inverted World?
Where colors go beyond their definition...

Shades of shadows transforming as beams of white
They do the opposite of their given mission

Praise the Lord we don't live in an Inverted World
Where Comfort and Chaos try to share one frame

The morning's flawless innocent white clouds scatter away and are replaced by black clouds that will start a new reign

Our minds will try to solve this puzzle as a sun of dark radiance blast it's curse over the nation

The forgiving pink roses turn against us as their petals allow green jealousy to manifest their vision

The diamonds that covered the sky at night would only be small shadow reminders of the new sun that leaves us breathless

The Night would be purer then Daytime it's self. The Elements water and fire would have switched identities. These changes are endless

Praise God we don't live in an inverted world. Where our skin looks like it was painted in ashes

Or for those with a darker tone, look like their body have been invade by an icy storm encouraged by magic

The Lord instructed color to have a meaning, commanded nature to have a destiny and a desire...

Again, Thank you Savior, for your mercy of an orderly world, where shades are in their places, and harmony is not a liar

Coloration embraces it's role and refuses to fail it's task to symbolize it's emotion...

How truly lucky and blessed we are..
*That We Don't Live In An Inverted World...
Embrace it...
For it is His mercy...
665 · Jul 2017
Knocking On Hold (Revised)
ClawedBeauty101 Jul 2017
She drives up in her small silver Toyota, the third of four daughters sitting right beside her.
She doesn't remember the countless times times they've drove here, or the reason why this place lures her here. Her mind was in such a stir.
They both dreaded the house that sat high on its hill in overbearing superiority
Indeed it was huge in size, but also greatly known for its power, wealth and authority
She felt like a fish on a hook, hanging in midair. Her words caught in her throat. The silence was deeply disturbing. Her heart pounding its drum louder and louder into her ears
"It's hard to believe its been10 years…” She could hear her daughter's voice trembling in disbelief and fear.
The one she still embraces as "son" still lived in the mega-size prison.
Staring at the monolith made the memories of the distant one form an imagination
The day she hoped for, the day where [when] He would return to them....The day when the mysteries of him and the mysteries of his life would be solved
As time passed on, she hoped that his courage would evolve
So peace and comfort would finally marry, where anger and hate would be burned
Her deep daydream was disturbed by the sound of the car door slamming; her clear conscious was slowly earned.
She looked to the left of her to find an empty gray seat with her daughter[’]s black hoodie, but not her.
She looked around in a hurricane panic until she heard her daughter’s cat-like purr
She ******] her head up to look at the hill, as she rolled her window slowly down.
She saw her daughter walk up the winding driveway that lead up to the mansion, as her heart had complete meltdown.
"Cat!!! Come back!!! You can't go up there!! We can both get in trouble!"
She could tell her daughter was lost in her own confidence and determination, her heart beats now in doubles
Knowing she couldn't scream any louder, she flew open the car door but stopped herself in her tracks
She reminded herself that it was her face they would recognize, she would be in more danger then her daughter of black.
She saw her stand at the doorstep of the beast that waited to be awakened
She saw the clinching of her hand, turning into a rock hard fist, its foundation of the heart refused to be shaken
She felt the whites of her eyes wanting to pop out in disbelief, her voice injected with numbness; she could not find the words to say
Her daughter knew she would not be recognized, she wore a mask of black design. Her reputation would not be slayed
The cat-eyes looked at the majesty of the beast; her eyes could not contain the image of it in just a few blinks
She watched her daughter raise her fist in the air, knowing what the next few seconds may bring; she got into her car and with worry as she tried to think
Her ears wanted to go deaf her eyes longed to to go blind, as in slow motion she saw her fist about to collide...

Her Daughter stopped the momentum, her hand almost there, wanting to knock on it so badly, but knowing it would only bring a hell-burning ride
Her hand dropped down, back to her side, as she sat at the door step, she couldn't help but to cry.
Her naked white arms tightly hugging her knees like a friend, oh how hard they tried
She constantly licked her lips as her cat eye linear beginning to get soaked
Running down her face like raindrops on a windowpane, she felt her heart choke
Her black tears ran down her face until she felt the ache burn the sadness inside of her
"Go away pain, you must be contained!" her daughter said as she petted her own hair like fur.
She sighed in relief, leaning back in her driver’s seat, watching her daughter slowly walk back towards the car, seeing her head hanging low
She flung open the passenger side door and then closed it as she sat in her seat, the tears she tried to hide still continuing their flow
She petted her daughter’s shoulder to show her everything was going to be alright
Her mind went blank as her daughter responded with words that felt like a bite
"Please don't think I'll never do it, please don't think my mind has changed."
"The Knock is still there, it's just on hold, but it will make its sound someday...”
”Someday, I know”
Sadly this is all but an imagination, an imagination I am determined to make grow!

(Thank You Jim Musics for your time and help!)
659 · Dec 2017
A Beautiful Monster
ClawedBeauty101 Dec 2017
"A Monster!!! A Monster!!!" That is what they all shouted and proclaimed...

But even the wickedness of such a beauty can be tamed...

"It's Coming!!! It's Coming!!!" They screamed as they ran for shelter and protection, fearing it's flame...

But even the most fearsome indestructible beast can be put to great shame...

"Run!!! Run!! It's furry heart can never be softened nor can it's reckless body ever be contained!!!"

But even a retched immoral monster filled with corrupted plots can have a new name...

                             *We Can Be Beautiful Monsters...
Never say never... (oh wait I just did... XD)
Anyways the Lord has given so many retched sinful sinners a new life. We are rebellious people who have failed a holy perfect God... We deserve to be beast and monsters... but the Lord, with her grace and mercy and love, has given us an opportunity to be saved. We have fallen so short of the glory of God... and he gives us the free gift of eternal life... how amazing is that?And we can be made perfect in his sight. Our sins are washed away. We are still sinners and still will make mistakes but our payment has been paid and we can live forever and live for Christ!!!!

This is what I mean by Beautiful Monsters, We are monsters because we are sinners, we are beautiful because of Christ Sacrifice on the cross
ClawedBeauty101 Mar 2019
Don't hide in the darkness,
and I won't fall to pieces

Don't consume the abysses breath
if you do... it's my shattering that increases

Don't blend into the night sky,
And I'll avoid being invisible to you.

Stop hiding behind me
Cause I'll only let the light through

Wake up from your nightmare
And I'll stop ignoring my reflection

Dont let the demon of shadows consume your bed
And I will not let the ghost break my reality into fractions

My heart of glass... and your heart of shadows
It is the light that defeats us both, so let us, together, follow
I'll let the light shine through, so I'm bright and white
So come out from hiding, and let the light consume you. No need to fright

This poem took a while to write. I wanted to be selective with the words I selected for each heart XD Hope you like it!!!
642 · Jun 2018
The Insanity of Sleeping
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2018
4 in the morning and the thrist for rest had not stopped its fight

I try to isolate my ears from these threatening voices at night

I suffocate my face with my hands and arms to make the place seem darker

My eyes wouldn't fall for it. It only made the sleep all the more harder

My nails clenching into my skull as I try to cope with this pain

Dear God of the heavens show mercy, my eyes are red and burning... and I'm going insane
......I can't sleep... nature had won... alright lord.. what do you want  from me?
642 · Aug 2019
Plot Twist
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2019
After two years of trying to figure it out
When the root of the problem ended up being upside down

Every piece of the puzzle now perfectly fits...
But God... I was not expecting this kind of plot twist
Still trying to fully grasp it
637 · Dec 2017
When Will You Be Unburied?
ClawedBeauty101 Dec 2017
Down in the ground, your silver body lays
You were buried, with another person on that day

Both of you are unsaved
So now your abandoned in this muddy ***** grave

You men seek for answers, you seek fullfillment
For you only have half your heart, what an empty torment

Where did the other half go? We may never know
Who has it? The Questions seem to grow

You are not in a grave yard, but within the woods of one
You should be counted as dead, and your memories done

But there is no grave stone, so there maybe hope
Maybe your time in the ground is a scope

An opportunity to learn, to believe, and to repent of past sins
For those who have ears let him ear! For the change first starts from within.

Your darkened eyes, look to find hope and relief in others
But only the drowning down pour of depression is you cover

Your shadows of hair hang over your faces, your eyes to the cold moist dirt
Deep down under, your gray chains get tangled to share each others hurt.

The only company you have is each other, along with the fallen sin trees and young future saplings
Learn from nature dear men, for the love of the roots of the tree's  to the dirt is forever grappling.

Your charm of words remain in the containment of a plastic force
The force field refuses to open for you until you end your sinful course.

I have tried to dig you two up myself, but you were down too deep.
No power on earth could unburry you two, the possibilities seem too steep

Only the Super Natural forces of God could do that
But When? WHEN will you be unburied?

I'm sorry... I'm am one impatient Cat...

*Every now and then We can feel your clasping hands reach for the empty red bench... hoping to get out of this grave.... and sit with us again....
Thankfully, one has been unburied recently, now, only by the Lord's will and grace, the other shall be too. I won't stop hoping and praying  for the lost one to finally return.
(Thank you David T for Checking this for me!)
ClawedBeauty101 Jun 2018
Letter Written By: Anonymous
Gender: Unknown
Location: Classified
Time: Unsure

Alright, my fellow partners, your patience has paid off, you will now see, my promise was never scoffed

Please do, put your wonders and theories aside, I beckon, let victory and rest abide

I have seen her... Indeed I have... No Lie, I can assure.

If I may, introduce the beginning, with a normal work day for me, doing her bidding...


"Ma'am? Tis a brighter morning then usual I can assure you. The flowers in your fathers garden are full and blue"

With Pleasure I spoke as I knocked upon her white wooden door that blended in with the walls and floor.

"Tis nice dear worker, close friend... to hear such happy things... but it's those things that, very soon, disappear in the end... "

I lightly laid a gentle hand over the ****, and I not even through this letter, can I describe the ice biting concern that throbbed.

"Ma'dam, Dear lady, forgive me, but this close friend, has not seen Thy self for days, has our bond growth weak?"

Thy Ma'dam chose not to speakth for a time.  My shallow mind began to think that my words, her ears, have chosen to decline

".... Dear?" I voiced with hesitation. But comfort soon sprouted once her door unlocked it'self to me, to reveal the situation

With caution and a sense of danger, I entered my self into the room... the room that changed... along with her

How do I explain’th without sounding as if I have lost it?

Physically, nothing of the room was altered, but... the mentality and purpose of the room was disordered.

My eyes wavered on what was once colorful, and lovely, but is now dark.. but depressingly beautiful.. quiet a discovery...

"You've entered. Desperate to see'th me? Come closer then Thy servant, if you summon your agree,

"I do Ma'dam, I would not swear my life on a lie to thee. If I am, in a second, my heart, I ****"

Deep apologies for my impatient and anxious course of my next actions. Because through it, I felt a cold rock scrapping force.

I ran... Indeed I ran, how childish of me I will admit.  But my feet magnetized themselves to ground, the darkness would not permit.

"....My... my Dear Ma'dam?" I questioned, for there she gracefully stood, but deathly she starred at me, and distressful, I forgot to mention.

"Your right... it is a bright morning..." She said as black lip smile formed upon that gorgeous pale face.

Very slowly, she'd walk along the side of the curtain so more light may be revealed. Alas such glory!

"I am ashamed of you, you see me in shadows cloak... You have now witnessed the brokenness Pain provoked."

"But, my Dark Ma'dam! Why display your distress in such an abyss  of a dress?"

I questioned as I knelt at her highness's feet, the feet that had slipped into darkness; Defeat.

"Rise'th now, my brilliant friend, it is the time I stand weak where you must stand strong. A phase everyone goes through; and yes, it maybe long."

...I should'th rise... but my weak heart was rebellious to her commands... I refused... I declined to stand

Her breath did quicken, yes, a heavy burden hand laid'th on my shoulder... and it pressed

"Forgive me... Princess" I quickly spoke'th as I rose and dared to look into her eyes of starry highness.

"What I display... I dare not hide, for it is wise to release these mournful memories... to let them go... to let them die..."

I felt guilty... I'm afraid... that I felt so scared to stand alongside her... after making such a statement... cursed fear...

"Go... Do tell me when a brighter morning comes to visit me... I hope'th, that it'll be soon, possibly on the same day of the new moon..."

"A new moon? For sure Ma'dam? I don't mean to flaunt, but I feel it's necessary to warn you... those nights are quit the trap... quit the threatening haunt..."

She didn't speak'th a word, those cold shouldered eyes spoke words I didn't think eye could speak; I heard.

She turned her laced corset back towards my direction, closing the conversation, leaving my mind in suspension...

and with my pupils rearrange in focus on the sorrowful expression on my devoted one's face,  I left her presence, my happiness erased...

Can you see? Can you see the desperate help she is in? and yet you, your family, you fear-filled chickens of a flock tell me join in?

I must end this letter and not tell you anymore... If you truly cared.. I know you would come back.. if you honestly dared...

I am not fully sure what I must do'th for my dear Ma'dam Princess...
But I know the poor thing... Is the Dark Ma'dam of Distress
Just a Story I had in my head for the past couple of days... I hope you like it..

This poem is surrounding the fact on how important it is to reach out to those in darkness, to those who are in need, to those who are in help

No matter how far they have fallen, nor how scary the situation is. If it is something the Lord wants you to do, you need to trust it and run with it. And do whatever is necessary to reach out to those who are lost in darkness... some are afraid, some think it's a waste of time, and some choose to ignore the help others need. The narrator IS YOU. WHAT WOULD YOU DO in a  situation LIKE THIS!? Are you willing to take the risk?

I have considered writing another one, but most likely not. if you want me to, write in the comments below.
ClawedBeauty101 Sep 2018
I'm

M ourning
I n
S erious
S orrow

for you...


...That's what it means to me at least...

What does it mean to you?... Or does it even mean anything to you?
Idk, this was kinda random, I was just kinda thinking of it walking down the hallway of my church one night...
607 · May 2019
Cut! Cut! Cut!? Enough!
ClawedBeauty101 May 2019
Part A:
Cut it out
It won't do a thing!

Stop cutting yourself!
You're gaining nothing!

I slice and dice and move my mice
Claw myself with my built-in knives

Screaming and Crying as the blood drains, right?
Scars and wounds keep you up all night!

The alcohol string, do you feel the pain?
It burns and eats the bacteria in your veins

Sometimes the healing aches a lot
So that you learn something and begin to stop!!!

Chorus:
CUT CUT CUT CUT! Can we get enough? ENOUGH!
Trying to live like we wanna get better!
Your linen won't hide your cuts forever

KNIFE KNIFE! SLICE SLICE!
What are you doing your life? LIFE!
Heart pump's blood to keep you live'n
Why can't you accept that you are forgive'n?

Part B
"Hey! What's up? Are you doing alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine! Just had a really bad fight..."

A fight with yourself that you can never win
Using gloves and sleeves to keep your slits hidden.

Do you not see the diamond you are?
Ignore the lies that formed those scars

Your numbness won't just fade away
When your life is mixed in with the gray

Sitting alone in the darkness, blackness
Trying to hide all blood drop messes

Chorus
CUT CUT CUT CUT! Can we get enough? ENOUGH!
Trying to live like we wanna get better!
Your linen won't hide your cuts forever

KNIFE KNIFE! SLICE SLICE!
What are you doing your life? LIFE!
Heart pump's blood to keep you live'n
Why can't you accept that you are forgive'n?

Part C*
Razor Sharp... It feels just right
Holding on to that blade real tight...
Hidden in the darkness, out of sight...
It is worth the damage it causes? Worth all the lies?
Worth the secret? Worth the hide from the ones who love you with all their might?

Don't you feel their love, His love...
ENOUGH!

Chorus
CUT CUT CUT CUT! Can we get enough? ENOUGH!
Trying to live like we wanna get better!
Your linen won't hide your cuts forever

KNIFE KNIFE! SLICE SLICE!
What are you doing your life? LIFE!
Heart pump's blood to keep you live'n
Why can't you accept that you are forgive'n?
Another poem song I hope to write up someday... maybe...
It's a song about cutting and how it never seems to be enough. We can;t just do it once... it's a temptation and a struggle that makes us want to do it again and again...

and we forget about the ones who love us
We forget who we are in our Creator's eyes... and how worthy we are...
ClawedBeauty101 Oct 2018
I scream when I get what I don't want...
                                              
        ­                                but then I cry because I know need it...


Just because I want something... doesn't mean I need it

and just because I there's something I don't want to happen or gain... doesn't mean I don't need it...


                                       *Such a Conflict
Scream, Cry, Want, Need... What more can I say?
598 · Mar 2018
.... She Said To Me ....
ClawedBeauty101 Mar 2018
"I wish I was you"
She said to me
What did I do?
I just laughed

"I can't do anything without you"
She said to me
What did I do?
I scoffed and mocked

"I wish I had your life"
She said to me
What a blade...What a knife
For she does not truly know me if she wishes that

"I'd trade my problems for yours any day"
She said to me
Dear child, don't think that way
You don't understand the scars and wounds I am hiding

"I'll follow you every where"
She said to me
I might lead you to destruction and darkness, beware
You shouldn't be following me anyways

"I wish I had your talents and beauty."
She said to me
Stop it child... Stop wishing that you had my duties
For even Beauty can be used for evil.

"I wish I had everything you have"
She said to me
Oh? You mean the abuse I suffer and the labels of wrath?
Don't wish for everything... Don't covet.

"I wish I knew every part of you, every lair"
She said to me
No you don't.... Because I have both dreams and nightmares
Just like all sinners, I have a corrupted side

She said to me...
You know what?
No...
Why go on?
When I can make it shut up?
and choose not to care
and have them learn
the hard way
why
they
shouldn't
wish
they
were
me
and
be
happy
to
be
in
th­eir
own
skin...
JUST BE THANKFUL YOU WERE GIVEN LIFE!!!!!
STOP COMPLAINING AND COMPARING
I AM A REBELL SINNER JUST LIKE YOU!!!

When I say mean, I'm not talking about just ONE girl, It's referring to a BUNCH of girls who have said this to me before.

Cat Lynn ///
3/28/18
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