Rotten, starving souls stuck in cages
Ground up in mills or factories or farms
They remind me of myself.
I can relate to being kicked
And bruised and broken
By the sister who let razors kiss her wrists
But I guess it wasn't enough to hurt
And ruin herself.
Not enough to get
Rid of the stench of our family
Our perfect, suburban family
Wrought with screams and shouts.
It wasn't enough to grab
My hair and cut it off
To fulfil some deep, dark abyss of anger and jealousy
Now she wants me
i've been up for two hours now...
lying here restlessly
and i can't get you out of my head
my throat burns
after my third shot
i'm drowning out your memory
yet all i can think about
is all the times we had
in this exact bed
cuddled under the comforter
legs intertwined like lock and key
my head spins
after my fourth shot
my thoughts circle around your memory.
i need to forget
i want to forget...
forget the fact
that you were the best thing
that ever happened to me.
yet i'm conflicted,
because i regret never telling him i loved him
and then i regret ever loving him in the first place
What art in Heaven is unknown to the heathen?
Lest the scriptures write of adolescent teens.
For the scriptures build an ark and the arc
From which we must all be reborn in the barque.
With the strength of the carpenter’s lieutenants
The gallows outlast ten thousand tenants.
The faith in ones own wit is the noose indeed
As is the church’s wit when their sovereignty be decreed.
Is not this parchment made of sheepskins?
Like the fine carved furniture of the followers of Louie Quinze.
But of these carvings was once a beautiful tree.
Like the lamb – it was forced to its knee.
There a man placed upon their remains
Words and pictures of the self it proclaims.
But to God they are still a tree and a lamb
No need for the words or pictures he found.
Kids these days
Are not loyal
All they like to do is quarrel
I have no friends
Dont feel bad
It only makes me a little sad
These jaded puzzle pieces
We are only human
Leads some to ruin
I try to ignore and be patient
I would want forgiveness too
But sometimes your words and actions
Just make me so blue
I thought you were my friend
I guess i was wrong
Its easy to preach what is in a song
As i cry myself to sleep
Ill try to ignore the pain
And i guess not be so vain
In the tender light
of heartaches past
the salty trails
of tears long dried
in the shadow of the sun
setting against the forests
I found you kneeling
at my feet
I was dumb
and you were blind
I found you begging
up at me
to ease the burden
of lost time
I left you bleeding
in the twilight
of your crimes
and I left you
in the memory of that night
You can't force this on me anymore
There's nowhere to go back
To that light of yours that was so appealing
I don't want to get hurt again, I'm begging you
Just forgive me, and I'll be leaving
I'm sorry, I can't feel it too
I've been waiting for you for so long
I'm sorry that I got used to being alone
Finally free from the hands of loneliness
You were the one who said,
"Everything is over between us"
You only cared about yourself
Just to get what was enough
Please don't be upset
It's better that I'll be the one to leave
As such, carrying no regrets
when i was born to this earth,
to whom curious,
i dont come here for grief,
i dont march on pointless pride,
i am just human being non pay for the sins,
i carry this cross,
because i still have faith in you,
but when i was sick,
you weren't there
i am tired running away from myself,
pray for no salvation but your self,
i always am myself,
till the end and always be,
i carry this burden for you
but i get nothing back,
to hell and paradise back again,
all those drugs,
and i don't starve till i'm done.
you let go of my hands just as i began to take my first steps in this world
left me stumbling and grasping onto things to hold me up
you didn’t look back, you didn’t call or tell me you loved me
no dad you just left with nine years of my life and my heart
i remember your stories about the adventures you endeared
you made me believe in things larger then life
promised me you’d take me but then left me with my imagination
and you walked out
i understand now why you had to leave, i know this life wasn’t for you
you craved adventure and adrenaline not settling down and commitment
i would be lying to myself if i said i didn’t miss you. i do.
i want you to come back and take me on all those crazy adventures
but i understand that your mental illness had a hold on you
i know because sometimes dad i can’t seem to like the life i have
my mind races from thought to thought and i just want to have fun
and when I’m not seeking adventure I’m in bed disconnected with reality
and i think of you, and your struggles and your inability to accept responsibility
except now i understand why you couldn’t do it
you were so special dad and i am just like you