Did you visit me in my sleep?
I dreamed we met up: I visited you in the hole, you let me.
A cop led you down the hall and to the booth
And you would not meet my eye, even in the depths of my subconsciousness.
You were despondent, distant.
But through that, I could feel the anger emanating from where you sat on the other side of the glass.
You were filled with anger.
Not at me, but at the situation itself. Maybe it was anger aimed toward other people, maybe it was anger aimed toward yourself.
You lifted the phone eventually, and I held mine, but neither of us spoke a word.
I remembered that dream today, how vivid it was, how I woke up a month ago now thinking I had actually visited you in jail several states away.
In fact, I was positive that I had visited you in jail in order to cheer you up. It felt so real.
After I woke it took me a while to remember that you had died just a few weeks ago.
And today after I retold this dream to a woman, she swore I described an otherworldly visitation.
I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you!
How many times must I profess it?
You did fine, and you’re doing fine wherever you are now.
You’re where you’re supposed to be, and everything is okay.
I promise, I promise, I promise.
I’m a skeptic through and through
But apparently not when it comes to you.
Tell me,
Do you enjoy being such an enigma?
Those outstretched arms upon the Cross
beckon to you their embrace;
not as a thrall loth to return to cruel master,
but as a child fain towards his father!

Howsoever far we fall from the path,
the yearning of nail-pierced hands calls.
Amidst hateful sin and wrothfulness,
we comprehend not such unwarranted mercy.
Inspired by Kristin Lavransdatter.
I wonder how it would be to say goodbye
Say I love you for the last time
I wonder how it would taste on my lips
Would I even feel it if i slit my wrist

How many tears would fall for me
How many memories would flood back
Would you think of all the good times, or all the times that we have failed

Would it be lonely where I go
Would all the pain subside
Can I just see the light one more time
Before I make up my mind

Shadow of myself
The girl I left  behind
Did I sacrifice myself
Or was it done of my own free will

I don’t wanna say goodbye
I also don’t want to stay
I don’t want you to come with me
I don’t wanna lose you forever

I miss myself
I miss the shadow
I wanna go back
I’m stuck here now

I would like to believe it will get better
Later on down the road I’ll find myself
The words I have in my head
I make-believe, help me find her

I think I know where she’s buried
Underneath the willow tree
Where she can look up at the sky
And see all the memories she left behind
and when asked to imagine
did we
for it is where the answers lay
pleading
and when asked to dream
could we
beyond the superficial surface
where we tread
and when asked to fight
would we
for the chance to remain
in Eden

forgive us Father
our ignorant bliss
oldie
I couldn't find a song
The music didn't fit
No lyrics could describe
The wall the we hit
The pain
Our lies
You leaving so abruptly
Looking back at it now
It all sounds so funny
You learn to forgive
But its hard to forget
We'll always have a connection
That we can never unlive
So you showed me in songs
Just how you feel
I'll tell you in word
So you know that its real
We had a good run
We loved
And we lost
I forgive you for alot
As long as you forgive me
For calling the cops
There will always be a place
Right in my heart
And I hope every night
You don't fall apart
I watched. I listened. I took your hand when survival reacted.
Not anything as simple as the frail bodies we contort.
Your cry was in the wind, it was a thing from your being.

I tried. Too hard. I thought. Too much. My truth was Euclid, verity's soul it seems fracted.

Enough though it seemed. A while, we dreamed.
Enough.
Now i wake to sleep. My pen gainst my page shan't paint love this deep.
you are going to die
that is a fact.
you will cease to breathe
you will become forgotten
it is unlikely that any of us will leave a legacy

we think it's far away
we have plenty of time left
why worry?
well,
have you ever talked to a dying person?
I mean someone who is literally on their death bed
they are facing the end of their life
they've always known that they are going to die
but when it comes to actually dying they're terrified
there's always too much left unsaid
they weren't spontaneous enough
or didn't do what they really wanted

they thought they had more time

so next time you aren't feeling brave
or hesitate before doing something you wanna do
just know
death is imminent
unavoidable
nothing you do really matters that much
in 1000 years no one will remember it
so go for it.

laugh as much as possible.
cry when you need to cry.
forgive and forget.
go get what you want.
don't be embarrassed by anything.
life is too god damn short
to not be brave
to hesitate
to not take that big step
or to even just say hi
for my uncle who passed too early, it reminded me to be mindful of  the decisions I make and to live my life while I can. XX
HOW MANY TIMES DO
YOU FORGIVE SOMEONE WHEN
YOU CARE FOR THE THE MOST


ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DISCARD YOU
LIKE A BURNT PIECE OF TOAST


DO YOU HELP THE HEAL
AND GIVE THEM STRENGTH
DO YOU LISTEN TO THE EXCUSES
IN SUCH UNBEARABLE LENGTH



WILL YOU GIVE THEM HOPE
THAT THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT
OR CAST THEM ASIDE
INTO THE DARK OF NIGHT

FORGIVENESS OR REVENGE
HOW LONG DO GO UNTIL YOU CANT FORGIVE THE ONES YOU LOVE BECAUSE THEY HURT YOU THE MOST
Mystic Ink Feb 17
In a new avenues
Under the radiant skies
With unknown identity
Like a wonder of a visitor

On closing those eyes
So far, I was lost
Spending time in circle
Ultimately, I found my way, beyond

Calm silence, everywhere
Colored reflection of breaths
Echoes within memories, and
Chorus of forgiveness.
Self Discovery Mantra.
Shared from my Anthology, Canvas: Echoes and Reflections.
The best day
of my life
was being alone
without craving
any of your toxicity
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