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Christmas  trees
Stana Claus


What  is it all for.?
Bre 2d
Hi.  Hello.
It’s been awhile, I hope you are because I am.
Well, mostly.  
I found the one who makes me laugh makes me smile
Staves of the darkness so for just a little while
I forget.
I forget that a piece of me is broken, missing.
A piece of me is gone and when I go to give it to the one who makes me feel okay
Everything is not okay I scream and fight and push away
And he’s just so confused.
Things were good we worked through this there hasn’t been a meltdown in oh so many months
He talks he soothes does everything I told him to do but still I’m fighting I’m crying
I’m not there anymore
I’m in another place another time where there were no smiles only tears and those tread are pouring out now as I fight within my self to get back to the place where things are fine and I’m surrounded by love. And then
It’s over.
I’m back he’s holding me and everything is grand
But even now he hesitates to hold my hand afraid
To hurt me
To send me into a spiral that maybe this time I won’t be able to pull myself out of.
And even though I thought I had forgiven you
That I was past it I had regained what you took.
I was wrong and I can’t forgive you
Not yet.
Hello, lovies <3
Amanda 4d
Could it be...
Me who decided to make a change?
Me who knew nothing would ever be the same?
Me who set goals and accomplished them?
Me who can finally say I forgive him?
Me who put the pieces back together?
Me who sees you and feels forever?
Me who continues to grow?
Me who finally allows emotions to show?
Me who now smiles at the person in the mirror?
Me who knows life couldn’t be any clearer?
Me who makes a difference each and everyday?
Me who overcame all the obstacles along the way?
The whole world is on fire and I can only think about you. My mind re-wired to forget what my worst desires have brought me into.

The attraction of strangers eye"s should make me feel un-comfortable but instead it soothed. Somehow they all disappear and I am only looking at you.

I never dreamed I would dream of you. Black and white ambience encloses like a fogg around the room.

One moment I am miles away and the very next moment I am right next to you. I have so much to say but I then remember I will never see you again, so what good would that do?

If I knew what love was darling, I wouldn't have hurt you. If I knew what forever was, I would still be with you. Only foolish people hate the truth. But this isn't about me, this is about you.

Dreamers dream what reality couldn't do. Weavers weave a stranded connection between the two. Believers believe that somehow they can carry on living like they do.

I know that I cannot and I am lost without you. My hearts desire is to reach you across the chaos and somehow convince you.

I was listening to; Wicked Game by: Chris Issak.
While writing this poem.
Doy A 5d
how can i find the closure i so desperately seek
when the only answers i need
are buried 6 feet under

how can i utter
the apologies i never said
when the person I've wronged
is no longer living

how do i move on
from memories that haunt me
when the reason I'm still breathing
is because the same person once told me

"Look at the silver lining, ******. You'll be okay."
i will never forget you
942 days 14 hours and 5 minutes
Since I lost you
Each day I remember you
And tell myself you will come back
And I'll spend time with you
And I will tell you how I love you
How I miss having you around
I wanted to write something for you
As soon as you left us
But I couldn’t bring myself to accept that
To accept that you were gone
To accept that you wont come back
Before I lost you
Death was a myth
And funerals were celebration of life in disguise
I didn’t know loss until you left
I didn’t know hurt until you were no more
I never understood regret and guilt
Until you couldn’t hear my apology
And so I cried
For all the times I refused to pick your calls
Because I was mad at you
For all the times I didn’t share my poems with you
For the times I hated you for abandoning me
And I cried for you leaving without a goodbye
I cried because death took you
And I never said how much I loved you
And even when everyone was saying goodbyes
And even singing praises about you
I knew if you were around you laughed
Because you never understood human hypocrisy
Because you knew those praises weren't real
Because you knew you were kind but never meek
So they gave you false praises and cried because they had to
And I realized even in death they misunderstood you
Cause even in death all you would want is them to be real with you
And all around me were people filled with guilt
Not sadness just guilt
Though the world might have forgotten about you
I didn’t for a second allow myself the thought
I wanted to remember you
As a reminder
Of what happens when we hold grudges
Of what happens when we don’t forgive
Of how we lose because of pride
Of how painful it is to lose and feel guilty
And so when I looked at your casket
There you were eyes closed
With that single dreadlock on your forehead
I begged you to wake up and forgive me
To smile at me, heck even hit me
But you were gone and it was too late
And I saw something I couldn’t forget
You in a wooden box lying in it
With that face of yours
That made me angry some days
And made me happy most days
And when they lowered you to the ground
When they made you one with soil
A piece of me followed you to the after life
A piece I will never recover
Others lost a friend, a son and boyfriend
I just lost a brother I had abandoned
A part of me I could never get back
And each day I pray for your forgiveness
And pray for peace of heart
Joyce Tshibasu
R.i.p brother finally i found courage to write how i feel
I feel so torn
I love him a lot
Except I feel like
I can't love him as freely as I want to
Because he reminds me of an ex
I want so desperately to let go of
I want to move on with my life
And to love him entirely for him
Without the ripples of her
Skating across my perception
I feel trapped in my mind sometimes
Living through past memories
That only make me feel sadness now
And I wonder if that closure I seek
Can occur if I can forgive myself
For hurting her so much
How can I take responsibility and
Embrace my faults and mistakes
While also forgiving myself for them?
Forgive myself for hurting her?
Especially after realizing that
My emotional unavailability caused it
And I understand that I must remain compassionate
And I must accept the things I cannot change
It's just hard not to shame myself
When the blame fits so perfectly
In the palms of my hands
Star BG 7d
Earth without music is empty.
Earth without forgiveness is lonely.
Earth without compassion is unnatural.
Earth with out laughter is sad.
Earth without light is darkness.
Earth without love is impossible.
Earth without art is Eh.

Earth... climb on board and live,
Live with love, art, laughter, forgiveness, compassion, music, and Light.
Its the only way to be
I was inspired by the anonymous quote "earth without art is eh" and thus this write was born.
Crying out your name In my sleep, wake up still to feel the blame, wasn't there when should have been
You never should have died alone without me there by your side, 20 years we had never been apart so much guilt I feel for leaving
Meant the absolute world to me all those days and night spent together I'll never forget them
Helen forgive me girl, never meant to leave you that way, I'm so sorry please forgive me
Trying to ask forgiveness for not being there when I should have been
The GOOD NEWS that *** has done for us
what we could NEVER do for ourselves
by sending His own Son to become a man,
Jesus Christ, to live a perfectly righteous life
in complete fulfillment of ***’s holy law
and to die for our sins on the cross
as our substitutionary sacrifice
(“the righteous for the unrighteous”),
bearing and satisfying the just wrath of ***
which we ALL deserve
(because our hearts are ALL naturally
and treasonously rebellious against Him),
and resurrecting Him from the dead
we can be saved from the penalty of our sinful rebellion
(eternal condemnation and separation from ***)
and saved from the power of our sinful rebellion
to live a NEW LIFE in intimate relationship with Him,
surrendered to Him, forgiven of all of our sins,
credited with His perfect righteousness
because of His complete and finished work on our behalf,
and therefore in perfect standing and
unchanging acceptance before ***,
wholly at peace with Him,
indwelt and empowered by His Holy Spirit
to live for Him and His glory and His kingdom,
now and eternally.
“This is love: not that we loved ***, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”
~ 1 John 4:10

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with ***, and the Word was ***. He was with *** in the beginning. Through Him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made. In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind… The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth… ’…the Lamb of ***, who takes away the sin of the world!’”
~ John 1:1-4,14,29b

“*** made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of ***.”
~ 2 Corinthians 5:21

“Surely He took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered Him punished by ***,
stricken by Him, and afflicted.
But He was pierced for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on Him,
and by His wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the LORD has laid on Him
the iniquity of us all.”
~ Isaiah 53:4-6

“He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with *** through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of ***.”
~ Romans 4:25-5:2

“For *** so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life… Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for ***’s wrath remains on them.”
~ John 3:16,36

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