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N.  N is for neurologist.  
What does the neurologist say?
“Nothing seems to be wrong.
Your net recall seems normal.
You seem to remember most nouns and the news.
Nothing serious,
No need to worry.”

I don’t quite remember driving here.
This is Bethesda, right?
And your name is…?

P.  P is for psychologist.
The P. is silent.
So is the psychologist.
I talk and talk.
My energy level is high today,
even though I got no sleep last night.  
I want to write a poem and run a partial marathon.
I love people.
People are so beautiful.
“Only connect,” said E.M. Forster.
Am I talking too much?
How does that make me feel?
Just great!  Not like yesterday,
when I wanted to jump into the Potomac
from Key Bridge.
P is also for Potomac.
The psychologist speaks.
I need a new pill.

E. E is for endocrinologist.
What does the endocrinologist say?
“Eat. You’re an enigma.
You are losing weight.
We don’t know why.
We’ve checked everything
and can’t find evidence
of enemies in your endocrine system.
Enjoy some eclairs, eggplant, eggs benedict.
Life is short, endulge!  
Hopefully not too short.

O. O is for oncologist.
Oh oh.
Lying on the rare
Psychedelic river named
Thames, I wept for life.

My mother called last
Night. She said Thames messes with
You, causes cancer.

She suffered from renal
Failure, after doing the same.
That is why I wept.

The cool, brown water
Washed over me. It rinsed my mind.
It tames me from me.

Revelation strikes
My heart, maybe I should leave
And never look back.
Empire Mar 5
It used to be
That every day
Every waking second
Was full of pain
I was exhausted
And anxious

I got myself help
My brain was unbalanced
So they gave me medication
Every night before bed
I pop it into my mouth

It felt to finally be free
From the anxiety that crippled me
But after a while, it became normal
Still fine, but not so fun
I found I missed it
The pain

So now,
I do what I can
To embrace my sadness
To stimulate what it had numbed
Because I was used to being sick
And I remembered how good
That adrenaline could feel
Toxic and exciting
c Feb 21
Humor me with your insults
By now I’ve heard this stand up comedy routine so many times
I could do it sitting down
Laughter is the best medicine but I am overdosing
This substance in a prescription bottle with your name on it
It makes me toss my head back with the pills
And I laugh and I laugh
Bella Feb 21
I never wonder what it would be like for me to not have my disease
But I do wonder what it would be like to be someone without it

What it would be like to not miss school to see a doctor whose specialty my classmates can't even spell
What it would be like not to take a pill every morning
What it would be like to not face the repercussions of not taking my pill one morning
What it would be like not to pay for the Synthroid
What it would be like to not know anything about it

I think it would be quite ordinary
I think I would be weaker for it
not being able to endure the symptoms
I think I would have less initiative
Not having to take my pill for myself at a young age
I think I would be less curious
Not wanting to know more about myself
I think I'm better off for it

I know more about myself
I know more about the world around me
I know more about perseverance
I know more about medicine
I know more about budgeting
I know more about individuality

I would never want for me to not have my disease
I'm a better person for it
Lydia Feb 11
I’m so anxious I can’t sleep
I have to get up for work at 4 am
I’m a little light headed
and my stomach hurts
I have a numbing sensation running through my legs to my head
I’m scared
I just want to cry
and scream
and run
and sleep
all at the same time
I’m so ******* uncomfortable right now I am mad
I’m lonely
I don’t want to be alone right now
but I also don’t want to be bothered
My prescription ran out and this is what I get for not getting it filled in time
My anxiety makes me so forgetful and spontaneous
There is laughter in nature,
The gurgling of streams,
The singing of the birds,
The rustling of the leaves,
The radiant Sun,
The colourful rainbow,
The blossoming of flowers,
The early morning dew that refreshes the soul,
The pitter patter of raindrops
The gentle sway of the breeze
The chuckle of the dolphins,
The giggles of the rats,
The pants of dogs.
And laughter in us,
In the sharing of pleasures,
In the sweetness of friendship,
Bonding of two souls,
Laughter is the best medicine,
Let us laugh with others not at others.
triztessa Feb 8
Sullen eyes that seek comfort
after a bout of worrying
and churning stomachs
days on end without medicine
supplies are only for the few

They come and go
while the man behind the table
waits for a minute to rest
coming home without sleep
pushing the old wheel of life

The vulnerable and disconcerted
may rest on their arched backs
hanging on to nothing
but spare change to their names

The mortal life only seeks to be saved
All his senses
Eyes open, fixed on a light, blue chair.
The black-coated people, silent companions to him
in the office.
He is half inside
full of flesh on the outside,
believes he is undestructable.

The words, that fly out of his mouth
chewed up, broken  like his soul,
broken down to mgs of clozapine.

Lack of sleep, the benzos failed to work.
REM cycles are out of stock
and alternatives are unavailable.

The living nightmares are his companions;
in his eyes a blank stare of someone

He looks around for a couple of
seconds as if he does not listen to
the questions, he is being asked.
He open-closes his orbits
rapidly in a mors-code fashion
to someone out of sight.

The family he never had,
he created in his mind.
From loneliness they protect him,
the voices never leave his

Phone rings, the alienist answers.
I leave my notes to the side and
observe his movements.
For a moment
he turns towards me,
appearing emotionless,
then looks back.

Rain pouring on thirsty soil,
cats meowing free
outside the white-walled cages.
'The building (opposite this white hole we are in)
is it a new build?' he asked looking through the

Flight of unlinked thoughts;
from electromagnetic fields
to dealthlessness.
No gun can **** him,
no family there for him.
The brother, he forgot
and no recollection of
the court order that put him
behind bars.

The TV box inside his head
always on, playing a movie on repeat.
A medicated, anhedonic protagonist
on a road of no return.
J Feb 5

It is that
we keep

the labels.
Dangerous in large doses.
Could be toxic if too much.
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