She stood on the edge of the cliff, suspended somewhere in the distance between me and the setting sun. She looked back towards me, waiting patiently at the foot of her elongated shadow.

Her eyes were brimming with tears. Barely visible streaks of salt water already stained her cheeks, but across her lips, a smile. Wide enough to show nearly all her perfectly aligned teeth, her lips taught, almost painfully stretched across her face.

A laugh escaped her throat, something between a laugh and a sob and a cry, cut short as her lungs forced her to gasp, then falling into a spasm of short, shallow breaths.

The words fell like diamonds from her mouth to my ears, scoring my brain with their edges, blinding my inner light with their aura.

I was swept away in the moment, which I thought could never possibly end. But of course it did. And the silence that followed left me shattered and alone.

An escape made in earnest
The quiet upkeep of missing links
An upheaval of something good
To relinquish all sanity
As cracks begin to race across the surface
Dividing the tension across abstract faces
The sound of a jet engine
And the wind that grows ever warmer
The final rays of light
On this endless, waxing summer
In a chemical solution

Miles and minutes
Trading time for a timeline
I'd rather not finish
Stick it out and ill be fine

Passing space
Metal matter flowing far below me
It must be the high tide I love to race
Encroaching, live for the second

Adrenaline dripline
Barely alive but still doing fine
Seperate my body and mind
Laughing as everyone else, doing their best to undermine

As i stick my wheels to the curb
***** four wheel drive
One more dead end suburb
I lost any reason i had left to strive

But im still right here
I havent moved in so **** long
In the seat of my car
Still hearing the same **** songs

Still partaking in life as it may come
Still drinking gas station pop
I was told the world would pass me by
But turns out my world follows me
And I dont mind
Passing their world by

Space seems so far away
And im still worried about words
Ideas die when action is taken
Stones are broken as we discern
Rebuilding feels so akin
To leaving no stone unturned

And as my temepered glass view finder
Drifts father through the rubble
I can see promise
And i can see the death of each and every one of them

This distillation manifesting in peculiar patterns
Swirling overhead
With eyes that track indirect and understated
Waves that come to slight heads before
Dissipating, I've yet to see them
Break

And there's an agitated dash of nature still
Lurking deep
In blinding, binding, ever present light
In color schemes
That this changing property offers still
Strange it seems
In calm neurosis, slipping through the deep
Brings such panic

A rhythm imprinted in this form
An engraving of the time that passed
Not my friend, no not my friend at all
Such panic, oh such panic
Oh, whatever it is I hold, I've held some time before
What I release, I do so of my own volition
A half truth I'll see myself beside

As I lie still, eyes wide, glaring at the ceiling
As I die slowly, effortlessly, can't stop my head from reeling
Hollow victories
So preoccupied with afterlife; the only meaning I can see in the cyclic thoughts
Entirely dependent on what I can become

I lay on my back
I stare at the ceiling
Winding my mind up
Thinking in patterns

Down on the carpet
Listening to traffic
Grasping at ghosts
Feeling like static

Nothing is concrete
But this feeling so lucid
Demands that I try
To bury myself in it

To become a mold
Static like an image
To hold on this pattern
To hold on anything

Route the dark in light
Ducking down
Masonic freedom fighter
Tend to rend the holy crown

Chalice overflowing
When did this cup pass to me
Empty vessel wrestled from a twine
Entwined fate
Engorged ball of hate
Flattening the gluttons
I've seen it all
Its never right to Intermediate
Limb of light
Invigorated, left unchecked
Balances precariously
Between the seance of death
And the scorn of the righteous
Overbearing and meaningless
And still it beckons

To walk a thin line
Is to take everything in stride
The same stride
We strove for

Through every long night
Waist deep in the sin
Crying out internally
Giving everything to win
Starving on the battlegrounds
Carving up and laying down
Doubting every action
Stained by affliction
Destined to persist

Slaying anything

Monster...
Demonic...

Only light escapes

House party
Heart attack

I need some ******* air

Alright, (gasp)

Card game over breakfast
Solitaire

Unsure of what to choose
In regards to the near future
Grin and bear it
For the kids, I guess
The whatever friends I somehow amass

Hit the road
No point in checking
My reflection
Too undecided

Preheat the oven
Getting baked

Sky's gray
The way I like it
Half a smile earned

Turn a corner and regret it
Feelings are too sensitive
In that
They get shattered
And splinter up my gut

**** it

Whatever

Half way inside
Biding my time
Leather jacket
Smells like grass
Fresh cut cut-ups get drowsy

I'm barely sentient myself
Don't think about hell itself
Not that much thought crossed
That welcome mat

Laugh along
All a death tome
Singing dead songs
Getting high on
One human or another

Smoking me out

Of the house

Sky is dark now
Just how I like it
Another half smile

Looking past
I see the lights
Same lights blinding some other guy
Somewhere the sky isn't so perfect

Here, the lights blinding me
Are all around
Clowns, the lot of them
annoying....

So glad i made it
So glad to see
You didn't die inside your house
And could show up to my party
To validate me
I'd sooner berate you and your
Guest

Ugh

How you can live live
So depressive
Then bounce back with
Idiots
Crowding up the place

Beyond me

Anyway
Stopped by to drag doubt
Through the place
And show my face

To much disappointment
I guess I expected
As much

Parishioners gather around me
God has taken my mind
My god is splayed before me
Forming dust from thought in time

The ones like us

The ones, they've never come up
And all the ones, they don't deserve
And I

I don't deserve love

Silently burrow
Burning bright
Guiding light
To find me
The organs groan, than make me high
Each new motion besets me

My god is burrowed into the sand
Mocking me
As I am mocking you

My motives burrowed into mind
And you won't survive me god

Every six months, my thoughts change
Any time is too long
Every hour is droning on
Before I wake up, incomplete

We've cast aside distant memories
God is dead
What was once old is still old
Carry on

Robotic

Antibiotic

Symbiotic

Still we remain...


My newly bothered brothers
And sisters, so lovely
So come with me
Into this night

We are the new vicars
The world will bow
And we are the new gods
The sum of which is god

Rather go crazy than listen
Pandering by admission but
Self aware snares set for corrupted youths
Fool hearty young adults with full color led's
Its enough to make an end of me
Plans still foolproof
A poem to read aloud
Bad enough to tap out and let the pain bleed
I need some new meds

******* wooden in delivery
Half a mac truck stuck in traffic
Social laxatives and blocks of backwoods taxing
Masked attackers wielding flak cannons
Better off landing face down
Don't bother looking around, its all ghastly

A sight to behold as the intestinal tract
Gets pretty much pretty as I get
Gussied up
And roped into gore like we busted
A collective gut

Dogs chewing
But its hard to tell until
One of them spits up a curly tail

Forming a gang of mindless drones around an idea
Still going strong and letting go of mindless chatter
Still feels weird with every meter metric laughter
Conversion is hard, so skipping the math
I'm busy laughing, I never bothered with math class

Algebraic as an insult makes most
Laymen giddy
Do what you will with me, society

Never wanted much, in the way of a cure
Never wanted more, but
There's still so much more

Never wanted a change in the way
I think
But all I say is

Same

The amorphous world hates each and every creative soul
Another, I can't name
Except the idols held in such high regard
Excluding the ones I disavow
Save a few, all ideas are below me now
The masses all bleed but not all bleed red
Some bleed black, and some bleed falsehoods.
Our perfect community has more common ground with the enemy than the elitist ground we've come to sacrafice our lives and time defending

If only for the present my perception is less muddled
Before I cloud my mind with hurdles
To Disincentivize
Future fleshing out
Stout lies, watching promises
Fall by the way side
I will rise
I repeat the faster I sink
This elevator ideology is showing no signs
As it drags me to hell
One intention at a time
Marching round in time
Circling, quickening my pace
Winning a race
Invented for me
By people like me
How about you try me
And then we'll see just how deep
Inside me
The mitre has me
The mindset grasps me
And chains around me
Feel soft as feathers

The wings I fly on are burdens beneath my feet
My brothers and sisters hold the keys to my shackles but have mistaken them for unspeakable horrors.

I got eighteen cigarettes stuck in my cake
Strike a light, set the mood just right

Take a deep breath and
Remember that
You had no happy ending planned
And no true fans

Doomed to fail?
Hell yeah

Hell...
Yeah, looks that way

It don't matter
Have another slice of cake

Flash forward a breakdown or two

half stacked crack addicted hazmat wearing fascist can all get ******
You'll never find me dealing in
Toxic ****
Another ******* psychotic
Mind altering
Falling out
Of fake ideas
And hateful misanthropy
Dancing around my issues
With a ******* smirk

I hate self reflection, and
I want to slap the living **** out you

But don't want to wind up in jail...

I did it for the internet
Strange comment from the man
With a master plan
Scribbled sloppily on the back of his hand
Stammering out some candy words
With a sour edge made painful
By his ****** up head
Wedding his best friend
Happy ending
Till they all die in a house fire

The end.

Classic trepidation, stationary with the aura of
Coincidence, slit myself and call it skyward thinking
Sinking feelings that argue for a sudden resignation
Conscientiousness, leprous and typesetting

Intimate knowledge that I disclose verbatim cannot, and should not, ever be used against me.
Interest infected through wavelengths, non responsive partly cause of the rupturing that's been running through my dreams.
Scant as fixes to the problems, overblown and oft forgotten, lisping when I speak of this Epiphany.
Taxidermist furnish houses, howling wolves that get devoured, sounds like God and hell and them finally worked out peace.

Just cosmetic, slightly pathetic the ease at which the mind elapses
Classics retconned till nothing's left except the years of influence
Invested in the melancholy, snobs lobbyist and in distant memories

Glanced at my hands
And told me where I'd been
Something she said
I hadn't gone that far

Fell short again
Woke up in the back
With the sun setting

I will see you
Again, some day
It's not hopeless
It's something to reclaim

Living in our
Past mistakes that
Willfully, we recreate
Will end no better
Watching as this
Fade away
I'd be remiss not to say
I'll see you after

Through the smoke
We keep regressing
Though I
Let it go
I still hope
I'll see you after

Concessions since made
As hearts coincide
A flash in the eyes
And it'll end fine

You're not in the wrong
Not sure If I am
But it's never much
We rise with the tides

Everything moves in chaotic motion
The more things stay the same
Sometimes I try
But I never find the right words to say
If we don't see the light tomorrow
If you don't come out the same
I hope you recover
And keep your will to change

I always feel your words glow
If I'm asleep or not, I don't want to know
In losing, I only hope that it starts to show
This structural integrity

I'm still awake
I'm scared to die
Scared of all the little deaths
That come with change
Am I in the wrong?
It was just a mistake
Like everyone makes
Or so they say

Born right, if this incongruous line is to be believed
****, from everything I've seen, why won't you let me be?
From the way they make it sound, I think i'll just pass up that pension

With this luck I'm not sure why I don't pass tests just guessing

If its multiple choice at least
(and it always is)
You can tell I'm more than fed up with the lack of agency
Developing around our common enemies
Festering, on the bloated *** of this so called society
Becoming a myiasis

And I'll never hear the end of it
From the kids to ugly to earn the extra credit
And from the back half of my grey matter
Turning numb from mindless chatter

But

Society will silently suffer
Burdened down with crowns churning from an endless gutter
Plastic trash meshing poorly, piling into a funeral pyre
Ever burning and choking out the fat-*** cooperate liars

No wonder gas mask production is up
As I'm getting ready to upchuck my lunch
Sorry for getting stuck, or regressive
But batter up, ****, get ready for restoration

Claiming good as bad
With every passing fad
Distracting all my would be comrades
Zombify the undergrads

I don't have time for mindless upheaval
And replacement

So integral, this feeling
I can't make myself ignore it

The waves seep chill from off the wind
My thoughts, caught up in the current

I found the beauty in the lake
If only for a moment.

I ignored it for so long
But it's mine, just for a second

The calming wind over the lake
Caught in the skin of this horrid face

Scared and truly alone.

If I could only drift away...

I always wake up feeling tired
Maybe more like exhausted
It's a struggle pulling myself out of bed
Maybe I've got a deficiency
My diet hasn't been great recently, so
It's always a possibility, I guess
I really should go get it checked
I haven't seen a doctor in years
But the lethargy won't let up enough
I feel no motivation
Sometimes, I'll get this ringing in my ears
That'll last for a while
It comes and goes, but
It's starting to freak me out

I tried getting a new haircut
It didn't seem to help
I'm just so tired all the time

I had the dream again
Last night

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paintings of life still dancing in my head
Bright light fading
Pouring orange hues and dull yellow rays
Cascading down over earthen tones
Dark green grass masking over
Thick as the leaves blowing in the summer breeze

That was how the sun set
Just a few feet outside my window
A view tailored just for me
For a moment

Blades slowly turning
Endlessly circling
Watching the shadows emanate from their continuation
I know

Blowing ever cooling air into my room
I never thought it would end
But the light faded
And what was left weighed heavy on my eyelids

Eyes shut, I found myself
Slipping further and further into the state
Between life and death itself
No longer aware of the confines of fate

Above me, shackled in place
Slanted up, ever out of grasp
Yet, constricting in my space
dissipated, pulling back a mask

My soul was glowing
Eyes closed shut
Flowing freely out of my self
Motionless and clear cut
So well defined
Hung wrong side up
Arms outstretched from my sides

Blissful and permissive
Opened, floating still
Serenity surrounding

Basking in the glow
Traced back to my window
Seeping over the sill
Across the blades of my fan
Blowing life into my form
New motion brought to life
Free of scorn, near reborn
Suspended above my comatose
Form

And what I found
There
On a summer night
Unaware
Of the world outside
Outside of what
I could see
Was what I have come to terms with
A whole other side of me
And from that moment
I have derived something

A feeling
      I'm not convinced
Anyone else has felt this

Just a kid
Probably could have missed it
And from what I think now
Ideals forming around
Negative spaces
And people or places

But ****** if I don't
Still think about
How it felt
To be that kid in his room
With the light
Fading through
A window fan

Break apart another thing
Another ****** part of me
I still won't be taking anything from you

Exacting prices of my needs
I don't need a ****** thing
I won't be taking any more from you

Find the center of desire, til it all turns south
the bitterness still carried, clinging to your mouth
Another open flame, crumbling to dust
Leave me choking on the ashes, final remnants of this trust

When it all goes down
Will you still be right here waiting
For another chance
At this final undertaking
Down
It falls

Identify at once
The words jumble in my throat
Retribution shock
Governing by my ticking clocks
Spewing wind to fill the sails

Empty boats
Floating down
Glinding along gilded banks
Wheat can seldom feed a soul
Only bloat the burdend mind

How does the horizion break?
When did all my buds bloom
Long into the night
And slowly wither away
But never die

Change is mine
And when it comes to me
My will I cannot abide
There will be no sacrifice
I live my life by the dimmest light

The words I could speak
To blow it out
Flowing over the tip of my tounge
But Seldom ever spoken
Silence is golden

And the danger may be closer than it appears
And you'll never know if the end is near
And the ones i loved, cherished and relied most heavily upon
Can slip god through my viens...

And yet the new ones
The immitators I've neglected
Seldom speak to me, irony a bitter curse

And up untill this day, and onwards down the current
the words still escape me

Always closer than you ever think it is, one
Little slip, and you're straight through the abyss
Finding out in the end, all life ends. Carrion.
Vultures with eight tracks and tape decks

Copulation and emotion means I'm breeding ****** hatred
And I hate it
Mockeries of notions once raised
In earnest
Flirting with danger, burning moth to the flame
Stirring up anger with a few thoughts on pages
Irking, and senseless, the ******* sensation

Self righteous indignation, taking words of the page
Same goes for the gumption, with wars that I wage with myself
Heath goes first, better or worse
Slit eyelids, cause it can't hurt to see straight

It's always closer than you ******* think it is, one
Little slip, and this bleakness you insist
In existing in, ends, without a prerogative
As opaque as ever, severing lungs

Servitude, I could never miss, its
Fluid as my thoughts on narcissist

Stake claim, enslave
Falling behind
A wake so odd
Cosmic, wretched truth
Will all compose
With repetition
Til all devolves

Equally wrong choices, with dire stakes
Options weighed, time again

Derived presets, and presupposition
Derivative motion,  placed on this clean slate
And left for a lifetime
Of horrid substitutions

I've been choking on the fumes of violets
Intoxicating voices, soft and sweet
I feel every ounce of it inviting
It won't be long before its everything

I don't want to be the one to bring me down
But I'm forgetting how to breath

I don't know if you're even here
But, can you hear me...

I'm walking on the gentle roses
Blinded by my own second sight
Questioning if any body knows it
Each footstep leaving not a sound

I don't want to see you cry
But I've been suffocating

And I don't know if you still hear
But if you hear me...

This was a misstep of my mind
Please, give me something real
Instead of the flowers I've tried to find
If you hear me

I know I've said too much ****
And yes, I must seem sure
But I think its come time to admit
I need something more

Can you hear me

Get off your soapbox

Feeling far too hot
Modestly boxed in, by each scoff
Folding up my arms as my tongue is lopped off

I know its funny
I'm laughing inside
The same arguments
Humanity is so blind

They all start coming, at the same time

They keep on running up
Flagpole ****
I think I've had enough
Am I anything without this?

Feeling fragile, breaking cycles

Left myself out of the carnage

You'll have your day
Then when that day is done, you'll know what you've become
This is my day
To make that ******* change, the whole world is a stage

----------------------------------

Started with hatred, flowing through the air
Wheres my forgiveness?
Incessant, bound and scared

You seem quite passive, for the way you play
****** body submissive
Power to subvert the enemy

And this is the ending of a waste
The life once gifted has been thrown the **** away
It was left up to you
Now you've got it made
But with nothing more to lose

And nothing left to prove

Threading this needle through
Each element incomplete
Tied together with the roughest sinews
Slowly leaving the whole for me

Slowly life becomes whole for me

Blowing in the morning breeze
Like each blade between the weeds
Delicate reeds, unresistant
Pulled so consistently, but still unbroken

Before I know it
I'm draining the filth from the basin
Within my bones
Flowing freely through my soul
And at last away from my core

A neon glow around the only
Temporary
Sun I have

Necessity can be persuasive
In bringing out the best I have

A short walk away
Waves barely breaking
Rocks and sand might not make
For the prettiest scene up close
But from my post here
They mostly look right

Entrapped by the dying light
Enthralled as the last rays fade
As the night slowly takes
The sky away from the blazing heat
The hues fade
Blink once and nothing changes

Close your eyes and it will change

Companionship in solitude
Finding yourself alone, even as
The one you found a home with
Sits mere feet away
That's only how it seems
Longing for it to stay this way

Life and brevity
A match made once
Strike it up
And go up in smoke
The flames may warm
But warmth in cold
That's something real
If you can manage

Broken security, better left to fend for
Single motives
I didn't care, or maybe couldn't
Prolonging my litany

Bad ideas, and all encompassed
Condensed in soil
All that weight that had at one time escaped me
Rooted in
Bound limb, still barely shaking in the wind

Rushing in, though silent
In the darkness, remained for the time being
For a while after
It remained unseen, and I never let it break
Unless I were to lose more in the crest
Than in the gentle erosion

Wistful despite my destitute
Predetermination
As the hallowed ground, ebbing between the night air
Saturated in amenity
Became all it could be

Should it have a will of its own
Saturated in its bleak acceptance
Breathing in the cold satisfaction

As slow and listless as the realization that
Dawned across the shallow boughs
In the fragile shadows stretching across the
Few stragglers
Ill content to let the ground below
Starved fields
Go unrepentant, for even the time being
And slowly, I look up
See the world stretching on
It's not for
The wait
For the post-mortem
So selflessly fed that disconnect

Too jealous to justify
I earnestly belived I could capture
These ever passing moments in time

And as each one falls past my fingertips
As coarse words fall from my unkempt lips
I only find myself cursing
The lucky few, for whom words are never amiss
And am left still rehearsing
Searching for a way to capture bliss

Too depressive for my own good
And far too negative
Tortured? No
That might imply I can be understood

Lightweight?
That's a bit closer I suppose
I'd ask you to do it
If I thought you would

Overblown and borderline
Constantly finding ways to undermine
To my detriment
To retreat or to repent
Or keep going
Down this beaten path I did invent

Ages pass

Years fly by

Days crawl on till there's hardly any time

Finite and dwindling

Ever draining supply

I still can't find a way to aliviate what's on my mind.


Might as well keep writing down
The same thing

...

The tension is rising slowly, as the blood pools beneath fingernails
I can hear the ropes start snapping, brittle as a leaf
The bells begin tolling, the vultures swirl amid the frigid air
Of the televised devastation of the week

I hide my true intentions, I do
Somewhat well, if I must then
Admit to something,
I didn't really care too

Stop me if you've heard this one before
Or heard it better, somewhere else
---------------------------------------------------
Sending money through the wire
Never ending crimson flow

Past the thoughts of victims
Intuition caught in undertow

Masqurades with musket powder, kegs
And lampshades tinted red

Festering my own psychotic
Philanthropic need for death

Sending money through a wire
Rising slowly through the smoke

Laughter bursting through the cracks
Of somebody's final joke

Celebrations, conversation
Windowpains and slitting throats

Powers set to loosen grips
But destitute, watch me still choke

I think its time we could talk about the ending
Open the intent that we're pretending
Its something to be said aloud
Lost within the frigid clouds above

Oceans slowly forming up above
torrents under spoken like a flood

Oceans slowly forming up above
The mainland

Hope set on repetition
Single sentences, remittance
Cataclysmic, for a single state
Left to divide the remainder

Still, hypnotic trained psychosis
Found me scoffing at the notion
Growing old, centered delusional
Truth for something final

Dead-set pan, follow the camera, love that emotion, let it seep through

Lost, toppled bridges surrounding
Found more than a fair share of ashes
Corridors narrow enough...

Almost one in the morning, lost in the middle of some state or another
Neon lights come to a head, followed by the sound of the loose bulbs rattling in their sockets
Sounds of something crawling in the walls

I bet it all on retention
My whole life, I bet it all on retention

Marketable skills, not likely
Fighting for a  timepiece that
I know despises, time will pass
One way or another
Make it last, fat chance
Almost out of change and past
Mistakes ring straight through glass
Mark the date

I have a love hate relationship with nice weather
Warm nights in particular, where it would be just slightly too hot if not for a nice cross breeze
Bearable, when I've got company
Not that I have much company to spare

This is expository in nature
Hang on tight

Serenity of life
Gray skies for the choices I
Find time to make
Right up until the rain
Comes down
Real time precipitation
For the sole reason
Of flooding my soul

Charging the clouds
With negative energy
Eventuality says they'll burst
Sooner or later
And as the water flows down to the earth
Then up and over my teeth
Nearly up to my shoulders
Growing ever higher
Ever getting closer
It was all inevitability

Trying to change the sky
Is slowly ******* killing me
With every single storm
That rolls by

Its beyond me
And you too

Too soon

When will I be taken?
Who can tell
But hell, if I don't know when
When time itself never began
**** estimations, and **** plans

One way to escape

We all know the way

A darkened cave
A lonely overhang

No one dares approach for
Fear of going missing


There's so much more I wanted to say
Words and phrases before
I made my final escape
This cave I know
May be too cold
For The embolden spirits
Who hold on dearly to
Earthy merit

But know this
No one will be missed
In a minute

It's still not ok, but then again, when has it ever been...

There's nothing but grey skies
I can just about glimpse them through the door
As much as I tried
I still find it hard
Sitting on the lowest stair
Watching through the screen door

A simple comfort, it always is
Watching as the first few drops fall from the sheets of clouds
Creating channels across the dirt on the glass
Bright, despite everything
Bright against the pale white paint

Its good to not have to think
It can get overwhelming
And I'll admit to one thing
As much as I'm remiss to static opinion
Catching just a glimpse or two of
A passing black bird or
Something...

Just to remind me

It's often the weak
And seemingly frail
That find themselves thirsty
Beyond the pale

The gutters churn under the strain
Blood rushes down through city veins
The streets ablaze with tinted moonlight
Devoid of any flame

As gods and heathens burn the same
The hearts all pumping without aim
No lungs to fill, and yet still choking
On the meat we flay

The needle drops
The records play
Everyone stops
Praying that the day might break

My iron rusted
Hinges combust, dusk bled
Swung open portal
Stifling chortle I open up
Progressing slowly
In soul or sprit
But running fast and flowing

Over strewn corpse cobbles
Harbinger paver, larder baubles
Stocking lye
Stalking eyes, new crime
Commit to the violence or ****** die
Perish inside then out
It's no use gasping or
Grasping
Stranger clout
 
Each new version a variant curse
Every cursed being awaiting rebirth
New age swift death
My time is little, I have **** all left
Gliding abreast
The beast glisten already
Peeter out slice and grip
My jowls are aglow
Siphoning light from the sky above
The creatures of the dark sky rip
Beneath my leather
Each new stab a death blow

I feast
**** them all
I rip out their ******* guts
And mash them
Flesh blood and bone complete
Cycles though my very being
Tearing rending breaking
Everything
**** these dogs

The heart of the city
A drum
Plucking tendon
Plucky young thing

My weapon is serrated
My steel is ****** already

I can't get so bogged down
Like i do now
So often its
Boring to be found and
Lost at the same time
Finding time to lie in
My bed, or a coffin
Whatever works
For better or worse

Plans I don't make
Can't really change
Or fall through at all
Funny enough
My whole things been
Mauled and I'm standing here
Coughing and blocking out
More ideas

Pretentious melody's play in my head
But I can't slip into
Real world explanations
The sky can only be one of two colors
A sentiment tied to
One or the other
Or I'm left wondering why
It has to be

I'm still sick of every friendship I make
Its hard to examine the memorys
What I take, and what i leave behind
Trivial, and i wish i had a bit more
Control

I don't care about my future
Irregardless people will still be
And treat me the same
Way, and I'll still be pining for
The same things
Guarded and
Mostly friendless

Disrespect the cause
And I will preach you pain
Even a curtain call
Couldn't end this play
Best get back to
Unattended graves

Something might surprise you

Show me the death stats, and I might go away
Live in the med bay, you'll die sooner, yeah?

For every human, monstrous man
Indict and lifeless
I still love you

Now I don't have much
I don't know how

But, tally the recap, each heads worth the same
Plus two for representation
Plus one for age

For every monster, every fan made
Calamity, monster, die making your own way
Indirectly life affirming
Unconcerned with what you take

I love you

It never takes much
I wonder what I could possibly do to impress her
She's plucking gold threads in the air
Bits of string she finds hanging all around her
When she's flying like that
When she's hanging like that
Even her feet trace above my head

When she's human
I feel sick
Because I feel lucky

You know those wraps on her wrists
She keeps them bound up for a reason
She needs the memory, but it's not for me

She's not like me
So distinctive, in all the ways she knows
In all the lines she's memorized
And in that saccharine emulsion
Still seeping from her
I hate the taste of it

Gently floating on the breeze
Walking across lilies
I wonder what I could possibly do
To impress her.

Monsoon morning glow, glinting off another dying ditch
Littering, barely twitching instrument of compact destruction.

Noticeably different, near juxtaposed against the back light.
Noticeably strained, a coming age relegated to natural composition

It's hard to hold, memory, fragile fleeting
Slipped from its hold so easily, another piece shattering as it falls.

Repetition breeding more empathy than I can continually malign.
Forceful premonitions, until the choice to deny is taken from me.
All my thoughts, premeditated, actions, all deliberate
The illusion of choice shattered before me, as I take up my ill gotten arms.

Bolster myself with courage I no longer deserve.

And I get scared about just having to wake up sometimes.

Fine things lining pockets
And flawed gems from a faucet
It took a month to mar the clauses
long forgotten fiends and flowing
Nature lost scenery

It might be menial, but if I don't like the imagery
I'd use a run on and run on, running on
Fumes like carbon clouds, bowing at the center
Of the hopelessness I've found

Of moths and flame, danger and wanting
Nature and harboring diseases and watching
Crystalline precipices overblown from cold
Rain, eroding stone long since lain

Homes blown through in half a day
Another half century laid waste
Forage a new course for the streams
The selfish, like me only disagree

Despite the discontent
Restless nights and fires burning low
Into the biting air, a show of flair
Its not right, or fair to vent

Hollow, it would seem
Still stable, the ecosystem of
Constant change
Trying to be heard over a flood of filth

Tidal waves painting fields
Recessing long since venerated guest
Retaking ocean lost to sandy beaches
And kids with half a dream left in them
I spent my last penny on a whim

Vanity, a flippant curse of heart and mind
Conjoined as one, feeble as the end produced
The whole mass aches and shivers
What I tell myself, and what I know as truth
Are two separate things entirely

Humility, an apparition of soul and spirit
Unity at the cost of knowledge and it's pursuit
My thoughts elapse, and it all slips further
What I told myself before, in this exchange is forgotten
And I'm something else entirely

Morality, in arbitration, I ground myself clear
Wrought against the will of better self
Tooth and nail ground against my gaunt spine
All the words said before, robbed of meaning
In the context I find them, am I something else?

Are you a part of me?
Why can't I hear you
Deep inside these walls
Aimless, seizing
Are you through with me?
I cannot hear you
Can't feel your echo
Only creeping residue

The world always seems to leave me speechless
I don't understand, the things that you needed
Can we trust what they're showing on TV
If reality's a lie

So drag me back to the classics, I think
I need something for this ache
So take me back to yesterday
Today's one day too late

When I don't trust the words of the ones that hold me close
Its getting close enough to be a threat, I think

The air you expel leaves me so **** breathless
With all of this time, I expected advances
So tear down with disregard
There is nothing for me to hide

I wish I could read in a mix of context
Believe you me, this isn't a contest
Tear down this disregard
I've been running short on time

You keep running once you hit the ground
I'm barely here, but you keep screaming at me
Or at least, what used to be
You're late to the party being burnt down in your name

I'm leaving footsteps in the ashes

Intensity
A single word, all that comes to mind
Propensity
For thought, or setting things aside

All the glowing neon signs
And everything that I try so desperately to convey
I just can't find the right words

It's got to have rain
No doubt
And light as well, so long as it's gray
Or neon red, with hues of blue
As long as its night
Or something tangible in white
Something representing past days

Ages ago, but familiar feeling as well
Ages, only years maybe
As long as its different

Some otherwise abandoned alleyway
Shipping bay turned rave
Abandoned shopping malls
Frozen over lakes

Minimalist design
Clean, and insulated against
Nature

The heart of the woodlands
Something like a cabin where
The lines between the outside and
Not are too disjointed to
Make a distinction

Maybe half the magic comes from
The inability to capture outside of
The occasional photograph that strikes
up some match
A spark or something
I don't know for sure
But if I capture it maybe
I don't have to feel it any more
I'm not sure if I'd be any
Happier
Or just worse off.

The softest whispers of
Past ideas, and inclinations
Postulating long ignored dreams
Of long dried progenitors
Upon which we now look down

From the mouths that pour out banal well wishes
To the frozen digits, attached to architects and engineers

Most come to understand the past lies in fragments

Crucial details overlooked, time and time again
Lost amid a sea of bleak optimism
Futurism has its place, along side the winds
The ones that bring the same tired tides

I've drawn myself yet another line in the sand
The definition is as lucid as I could possibly be
Maybe a reflection of identity
It keeps shifting

Stepping forward, though unsure why
Commandeering tidal waves
Building bridges between figments in the skies
Attention drawn
To the edges of half way signs

"Onward and forward", the dead still proclaim
Long after the earth is packed
After death, so many still remain, if for the moment
Apparitions, spiritual possession of discourse
Tearing away from the pale, and digging deep into the fresh crop

You'll be gone soon enough
Into the standstill, though
The dead see it differently

Cosmic mistrust, a classic case
To free yourself from the very shackles
Blood had prepared you for, oxygen raised you for
Natural order now spurned
Floor to ceiling, ceiling to walls
Connected them seamlessly

What are you still fighting for, now?

Curiosity let me down
Why do I hate what I have found
Why do the walls look awful thin
How long before the sky caves in

But I got hooked on these blue and purple lights
And i found myself in the streetlamps in the dead of night
Crystallizing, like the frost around my rib cage
A palette colder than the snow falling from outer space

Freeing myself From the hands
Finding my life is to my own detriment
Finite, caustic in the games we play
Dissolving underscores the price you paid

Rain drops
Bluer than the sky
Tears of someone high above
Felled in spirit
Will defenseless
Recognizing they were selfish
Despite all my endless walls
Broke the sky down to a fault

And the shards now fall all around
My outstretched arms
And broken heart

Saving grace is in my lungs
Biding up the time here spending
All of it pretend inventing
Ideas for the passing eye
Finding out why days go by

A wooden kid with a furrowed brow
Carved this way and made to wonder how
How long might we survive
Strung up, dancing on this twine
Woven out of atmospheric bitter sweet goodbyes

And the notes that I hum
To pass the time
-------------------
I'll still see you around, right?

Yeah, keep an eye out, I'm sure you'll see me

I can hardly get my head straight, and between every single
Tone, I readjust the cases, straitening the lace
Binding up the loose ends, mending every one and
Creating strait spaces, borderline alone

Indulgence over emotion, I don't have my own

Add a fifth, and once again to make six
The circle begins closing in, closer and then too close
How many sides there are, to a pint of gin
Are there more mixers in a little bit of sin?

Its my disparity

Something I choose; suffering disuse
And a lack of caring
-------------------------------------------
I'm just a branch on another tree
Losing the last of my leaves
I feel the wind running through my hair
I swear, it's blowing just for me
--------------------------------------------
I've seen the face of god staring out the ******* monitor
I've seen the wrath of many more, more, **** it
I'm done
I still speak profanely but only on occasion
When I stop to rest, from the rest like I've been vacant
And the break is all I have, before I fade away in chambers

The scent of lavender light permeating my eyes
Draining through the veins and inflaming the day dream spattered
Doesn't matter

The days where hate is the mode of operation
Now, yes. Now, no
Blown out of proportion, maybe so, but I've been alive a while
And I'm still only a couple old
-------------------------------------------
I've been overlooking so many things
In single words, I frame identity
The wind is blowing through my bones
In simple thoughts, and tragedy
--------------------------------------------
And he told me, take a second for yourself now and then
Pen and paper permit magic beyond a mere existential crisis
Might be something to find amid strands of loose light
Find a new light, bright enough to conquer demons, but
Success is still your metric in the meantime

Fine, enough
But, I can fabricate well enough to get
Everything I need from something not enough
****
I even lose myself sometimes

But that's the point I guess
Another time gone by
another moment well defined

I use the same words, same works, same letters
I take the same lessons from the ones bound and fettered
To the cause, of making minds
Fun enough to pass the time
Long enough, oh *******
Its almost...
-----------------------------------------------
If you follow my silver spool
I think I left too soon, if memory serves me
Too true for my own good
And the wind blows through my gilded skin
And I watch the moon rising

Take my hand
step in time
I am sure it'll turn out fine
just let the current untwine your mind

Every single step takes you closer and closer
With every single breath, you find yourself shoulder to shoulder
with Enimes and friends
With out the evil intent
I guess the stars aligned
And all we say are
we are all the same, in the end

Someone spots you
A jesture or smile
Its been a while, why not smile back?
Some peice of mind might finally come through
I think we both need a bit of good

Trust me, i know the game we're playing
A razor quite thin, the head of a pin
But balancing comes as second nature
Tomorrow we'll still have our chance to win

The lights light faces and faces light
Everyone is one tonight
Crack a smile its been a while
we've got the might
Not to mention will
to take something and dispite
hatred bleeding though
manage ourselves a lovely night

The colors of the glass
Surrounding little suns
Stain our hearts bright shades
We need to let the pain
Wash away

The irony is lost on me
But thats just the way i like it
ignorance is dangerous
but i think you should try it
Hatred fuels this night
But thats alright by me
I dont think ive ever felt so completely free

Venom drips from every cobble
on every corner
of every street
But i think you can do us both a favor
And turn your head as our hearts beat
Intermingled with the rythm
Love and trust the ones you meet

Just for the night
Its all alright

High pitch community
From one single tone
Can go from home
To a killing floor

Made all the more harrowing
Toxic trauma of the mind

Freeze up they said

Yet we push on
And we pushed hard
We pushed it too far
Then let down our gard

And now the lights flicker from green to red
A premonition of bloodshed
Locked inside the voice of
A brother or a friend
Neither one is talking now

Survive it says
Static cuts through
And the line drops dead
Outside my head the night goes on
Cheery faces basking in the light
Permissive out of innocence

Enjoying spite out of spite
Who is right
It doesn't matter
My eyes burn bright
But no one can hear

Screams are echoed all around
But transaction leaves my words devoid
Bliss is heard amiss, above
We coveted and now we pay

The price of our sin

Leaden feet
Soul heavy
Constriction wracks my chest
Eyesight fading out at best

Every step
Burdens me
Drowing out my screams
They don't know what i mean

Cold are we
Faceless sea
The crowd is sundered
With a sound of thunder

Chemical feeling
Rising faster
Black metal plating
Hidden by color

Nausea knowlage
Turning over
Sterile and voiceless
Overpowered

The second freezes and the door explodes
One or two to every home
The crowd plays on
A silver show
And all of mine
are on their own

Masqurade
The masks are on
Every sillable
of every song
The Loss of feeling
I have no doubt
And they are carried off

A few rounds pop off
The music stops
For a split second order holds everyone still as stone
Then my life is taken before my naked eyes
And I wake up here, alone, surrounded by the flock


My heart has been torn from my chest
God give me strength

The confusion collapses around me
A torrent of emotion barreling though members of the crowd
But it only takes a second

Now everything is clear

And....

Honestly
All I ever wanted was to be cut free
Is that as shallow as it seems?
In my heart
I know
No one will mourn
Only regret
For what could of been

You'll never know it
But i fought for you
I worked this breif day away
I sutured the pain
I sewed my mouth
And threw my soul
All of this
To gain or regain

Now no one knows
And yet they care
Or i know they would've
Had they seen me

As this here, or, my world
Is pulled undone and beams of light
Pierce the darkness and my eyes
Lifting up
I've yet so much to do
Help me

Stupid stuff, looks like
A diamond in the ruff
Wrapped in cellophane
And spray painted gold

Did you find it
A little odd when you
Searched for your alarm clock
And found it silent
Sewn in your violent
Rage induce youth
Machinery ticking out
What time you still had left

Fighting tooth and nail
Got me in this mess
The Diamond glistens as I turn my head away
Fingers are blessed with venom still red
Burning my fingertips with dreams that I still replay

How they left when I dug deep in

I only wish that I could see my face
When
I found out the the change I needed
Wasn't something I could get

Fettered to the cause
Bought and found lacking but marred
By the dept I will own
Who dares atone with
Loans unpaid and hearts now repentant
I will die in iron
Finer than china
As the rust soaks in every bone

I am still saving
I've got so much left to save
I've come to face down the endless possibility

Each second ticks out
A weight bearing down
How we live like
This isn't something

Irreverence still speaks to me
Taunting
With chains soft enough
To make me forget that
I think
I am nothing
And Listlessness still loves me
Dragging me further
Through means of persistance

Ah, but
Am I wrong
...
Do I want to be

And some think the world will go up in flames
When everyone comes into work soaked in gasloline
And when I open the book of the saints
It will be stained with match books and empathy

What will stand
When it stands
What is stained
Burns clean

Life finds a way
To survive despite the simplicity
For the love of death
And/or all that is holy
For the love of what we
All took for granted
And wish less missed the mark
By more that a few inches

After only a moment or two
I could feel the sparks
A sentiment that we shared
But not a fire

Your name came up in the end
She thought me a lair
When I denied that I knew you
She knew otherwise

She read the look in my eyes
Told me she loved me
But didn't want to be friends
She needed more

Filled with regret
Feeling abandoned
She turned her eyes to the sky
Blowing a kiss as she ascended

Here you are, just in time
Saved my life, I owe you mine
You're my girl, and I could never find
A soul better than you

I used to pine after her
Thought she could be mine
Every ounce of love I spent
Crafting the fantasy

Still, you came after me
Told me you loved me
Your arms beckoning

Say you still love me

Here you are, you never left
I can find myself in your eyes
No matter how far, I leave you behind
You come up behind me

The best of me
Squandered here with you
Hiding away in shadows
Your lips are fine
As quicksilver, you feed me lines
One at a time

Thought I saw a glimpse of something more
A pretty picture
But I had long since swallowed my pride
And you've sewn my lips closed

You're never out of sight
Forever, you'll be mine
Speak my name, and I'll
Come running back
Every time

So much bitter sweet love
For the pictures In front of me
How much left to the imagination
Color in the imagery

Warm hues nearly toxic
Feelings, intoxicating
Melting away into memory

And I'm the king of this playground
For like, another hour or two
And I'm on the top of this world
Because I've got nothing better to do

Beyond my power

I could've cried the day away
But the sun keeps prying
And swallows me anyway
Into beams of security
Belonging in every ray
And the time seems to rush by
Minutes folding into a day
Marked on a calendar
Never to be reclaimed
But still cherished just the same

Every facet of freedom
Sounding perfect from every side
Sometimes lacking wisdom
And brevity to realize

Life is so short
Sometimes

I watch them fold up into my palm
And I see them take shape, as lines are drawn
Always looking down, lost but ever found
Until I found the one, who broke my solemn crown

Now, I stand here shaken
Unsure of what to do
Because everything inside me
I've found the same in you

So I tried for simple
And I tried to rearrange
I tried for love, but defiant, nothing changed
I tried to follow, this path I've since refused
Because now I know, I never should have tried
And for you, I refuse to lose

I can see it building higher, behind your searching eyes
Looking for a reason, confusion on the rise
I know you thought that you had broken through
To be left vacant, as my own I do reprise

And I don't know why this world keeps turning for me
And I sure as hell don't think it would for you
Depression and its icy grip
Might be enough to make one sick

If not, for this

And now we know, that this just wasn't true
Tell me, what was I supposed to do?
I could have left with you in toe
And then we both would die, alone

But the time ticks out

And the tide goes out

As my light fades out

There's something I have known

I won't be coming back for you, and you won't be coming back for me
I hate to turn a back on you

But this distance is mandatory

In my words, she read despair
A tone that rung so crystal clear
She took her meaningless, and loss of innocence
And watched as my heart began to break

In my voice she heard the fear
As my words fell into her ears
I couldn't bear to play it straight
As she watched me start to break

Thankless and adamant
Not a drop went to waste
I can't forget, a single day
As she laughed, and watched me start to break

**** it
I lied
I don't need to justify
My time, wasted with you in memory

Funny how things look so clear

Standing here, all alone
Surrounded by the ghost that haunt the
Air I breath, screaming now
Founded on the things I predicate

You watched my heart start to break

In my words, she read despair
A tone that rung so crystal clear
She took her meaningless, and loss of innocence
And watched as my heart began to break