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subside the restless, crashing waves.

free my mind from this prison.

i am tired.
i am lost.
i've lost all meaning of the word, hope.

now, i just survive,
but only just...

egged on by the pluck and strike of the dancing tunes i force myself to listen to,
just to distract myself from all the raging stimuli.

emotion-sensory overload

perhaps, it's time i tried something new.
to stare into fear, and run it through...

maybe the little white pills aren't the boogyman,
the monster under my bed.

the monster is in my head,
and perhaps,
this little white pill...
just may put him away for a little while,
one day at a time.

subside the restless,
thoughts in my head.


~~~~~~~

this is my therapy.
so that i can breathe.

this one's not for you,
it's for me to read.
but if you really want to,
so can you.
Those arms
..
.

They kept
Me up
At night

.
..
I didn't even
Care about basketball
But you did things

No one but
You could
My own hero

Awkward
Or maybe not awkward
Maybe just

More evolved
Ahead of his time
A creature like

The dragon
Adorning
Your back

In red and black
Ink
You flew just like

I imagined myself
On my 7.5 foot hoop
Late nights

We stayed up to
Watch even though
West coast games

Could run past
Midnight
..
.

Thx
You were the closest
Thing I had
To a Demi
God

Bang
Bang
Ak47
I lived with Malone
As a child but
Was too young to
Feel the magic
And appreciate it

My first hero was AK-47
Arms like shotguns he
Led a group of misfit
Leftovers to a winning
Season and every game
Was completely different

The opposite of Malone
And Stockton who were pillars
Of the Utah community and of
Basketball statisticians but
Not this actuary, I thought
They were old and boring

Carlos Arroyo, Raul Lopez
They were young and fun
And so much faster filling
In the Assist Man's shoes
It worked when they all
Predicted we'd break  down
Click
Bait
...
Draft
Starry Sep 10
Thing you don't f**king joke about:
PTSD
AUTISM
depression
Bullying
****
****
Tantric ***
Criminal behavior
Disabilities
Abuse
Suicide
Starry Sep 10
I say that
Love
And swearing will keep
You alive
I should
Know
I had many a dark thoughts
About hurting my self
But one f-bomb
Or hug from my mom
And it was bearable
To get me through.
Starry Sep 10
Put those pills
Down on the table
Put that razer blade away
for you dont need that
Put away that gun and rope
For we shouldn't sweat the small
Stuff by
Sweat I
Mean **** yourself
Over it
You don't need to
To it.
Starry Sep 10
It
Is
Ok
To
Be human
It
Is
OK
To
be
Stressed
Out
And
Emotional but is not a good idea to
Take one's own life.
Starry Sep 10
I remember
Something so horrific
In the seventh grade
Some kid brought
A video tape
Of an autopsy of
An anorexic woman
Afraid
I
Vowed
That
No
Matter how
Sh*tty
I
Will
Live
My
Life to old age.
Starry Sep 10
I
Would
Rather
Hear
You
Complain and *****
About
The *******
And
Drama
Than
Your f*cking
Autopsy
Starry Sep 9
It is supper time
It is all most
Time for us to rejoice
Two broken souls
Can they create
Happiness
I think so.
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