(for you, tf.)
“Tell me all of the things that make you feel lovely.”
You whisper to my longing ears
As we quietly barrel down this highway road.
Silence follows us like a dark cloud.
Predicting our next steps, and our doomed fates.
You stay until my heart has calmed and slowed.
I feel safe when I’m with you.
Like there’s a pocket of falling sunlight,
Hidden away from the cruel broken skies,
All by itself, somehow sustained. Glowing.
Nothing in the world could interrupt you and I.
Do you remember the time I spent waiting?
The time we spent in love.
Together. Wandering, learning, living.
The way your hands held mine until they stopped shaking.
I miss you, and the beauty, and wonder of it all.
Especially your endless blue eyes and charming smile
That made my fears seem small,
That told me everything was going to be alright,
It was going to be okay. Perhaps you were wrong.
You told me that I make you feel like you’re floating.
Like the earth has lost its’ gravity, its’ presence
All that used to be of its’ essence
And we are the only two, left behind.
To enjoy each other’s company for eternity.
“Lovely, what a lovely word.”
What a terrible world to take that away.
A list, of all the things that make you happy.
I hope to God that I would be on that list too.
Because to me, you shined brighter than the stars
And kinder than the waves.
I hope you can hear me, where you are.
If so, I love you. And thank you for showing me
What life really is, and what it can be.
And if not, it’s okay. Right now, it’s difficult.
But, I know we were never meant to be infinite.
July 2, 2018.
Written from the perspective of Violet Markey from All the Bright Places. The death of Theodore Finch really stuck with me for several days after I finished reading. I miss him dearly and his quirky personality.