Words of hate unraveling
from the leg of a sick wedding dove.
This heavenly drug,
I still wonder how i fell into
A sea of love and vile,
It was like everytime i saw her
she would bathe my heart in ecstasy.
The taste of blood with every kiss
would cease my breath,
remembering her still stings
the depths of my nose.
By her side i was the most stable guy,
and her by mine the most insane at times.
God! She was addicted to everything
except making me happy.
Always drenched in sweat
not always hers or mine ,
a beast when not even a period
stopped her at the cusp of her lust.
Once was a lone leper seated bedside,
a depressed nostalgia repressed in his mind
as with a whisper his weary bones creaked
and he slipped once again into lower tide.
Upon his face rested an eye filled with pus
and his few greasy locks glued down gently
upon a brow cracked and creased
holding a number of sores so superfluous.
He smiled but it would not reach his soul
as his shoulders slumped and quivered while
arthiritic hands reached upon a mantle
and a synapse snapped losing further control.
He grasped at a picture with suicidal glee,
black and white, two children sat smiling
a boy and a girl one vaguely familiar.
A drop hit the photo, blood, sweat, tears, or
His fingers stroked the dust filled image
and he hissed,
"I love you so much more than you have ever known me."
I don't want anyone ever to hold me the way you do
You make me feel okay, whole, through and through
I don't want anyone to know my facial expressions and voice like you
I don't want anyone to know my family the way you do
I don't want anyone to understands my thoughts and reasons
I don't want anyone to understands my weird meanings
I don't want anyone to ever know why I do what I do
I don't want anyone to know because that's something between me and you.
I don't want anyone to make me laugh and be so mad at the same time.
I don't want anyone else. No one knows who how much I want you to be mine
I don't know why part of me keeps bloody-well lying!
I don't know why I can't give up! Is it because I'm trying to keep the thoughts of us together intact? A beautiful fantasy?! Doesn't matter! I still end up I finding myself trying!
I don't want to trust anyone the way I trust you.
I don't want to love another the way I love you!
some days it's easy to feel good
like I'm starting fresh, starting over, starting a new
the feeling of freedom washes over me and I am born all over again
but just as quickly as those electric feelings start,
and I am left with an emptiness in my stomach
an irreplaceable longing for love
when I start to think how I'm back to nothing
I swell up with panic and excitement all at once
like a whirlwind of emotion
wrecklessly tossed into one tiny person
I want to love myself more than anyone else
I give my all to others and never to me who deserves that kind of compassion also
so much so that I don't feel complete without belonging to someone
I forget that I wasn't always two people
I used to just be me
navigating my life on my own time
with no regard for anyone but myself
and I remember feeling so happy about that then
that I don't understand why I can't find that happiness in my solitude now
inside of me I have always carried all I ever needed
I have just forgotten how to pull out those pieces to put my heart back in place
I am disgusting now
My heart is a pulsating sore
Oozing pus into my veins from the inside out
And leaving me
Aimless and on edge
I can’t stop this feeling of
Wanting to tear apart everything and anything
-Especially my own skin-
Anything to get my lungs expanding at the normal capacity
And my adrenaline
to stop boiling up in my skull
My head hurts
My head hurts
My head hurts
Would you diagnose
This disease that's killing me
The medicine on the top shelf
Couldn't help me at most
A pain I can't describe
Jut like a virus
It divides itself
By latching to my insides
I'm going sick
Prescribe me a cure
Open me up if you must
Just let it be quick
In need of healing
Before it gets worse
Lend me a helping hand
I'm slowly dying
Nails that rake
far across closed backs,
mind's all but grinding teeth,
granting rings of thyme, and smoked thin
it shrieks amongst feathered
Jaundice all sentiment,
and rack my nerves
a blaring sparking
for I brand my black grin
like a whiskey bottle brown
found, but in gutter glinting
fevers-- down swims my nerves.