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The act of grieving.
It’s unlike anything I’ve
Ever had to go through.
Survived through 17 years of
Mental torture at the hands of
A mother who should have loved me;
But alcoholism had her by the throat
That never received any justice.
Physical abuse and mental abuse
For years by a man who should have
Cherished me but instead hated me.
12 hours of labor with no medication.
No relief of the spine crushing pain.
And yet the simple act of you dying.
             Of you leaving me behind,
                           In this world without you.
Has crushed and devastated me.
     Leaving me
                          annihilated and listless.
And without

My best friend, my cheerleader, my fan, my sounding board, my dad, my confidant, my partner in crime, my moral backbone, my courage, my strength, my forever compass, my mother figure, my only family.

I don’t know how to exist here.

The act of grieving,
Has left me tired and restless.
And I’m unsure if I’ll finish the act
Or the act will finish me.
   Exit stage…..
                                                        ­        Right.
Sometime In life, It can be so easy to get used somebody so close, not exactly taking them for granted but you think they are going to be forever there
Through being 24/7carer to Helen that sometimes this happened without meaning It to be so
But one day  Helen was sitting on our bed not dressed
and all of a sudden I could not take my eyes of her and she looked so Incredible beautiful I was thinking why has been so long since I notice her this way
but being 24/7carer had taken so much attention from her In that way  It had blinded me from Helen and how so pretty she really
Helen mobility was very restricted through pain
But I said to Helen  don't get don't dressed, off cause Helen said
because I'm coming over to make love to you
I answered, so I did and I thought afterwards why has been so long because my mind had told me because of Helen's disabilities and
she would struggle so much or maybe It was an excuse for my own failing Helen said afterwards you make love to me once a week and because the way I thought and that I'd let down
I felt almost honoured she'd given me another chance we had rekindled our love
we continued for a few weeks to make love then Helen passed away It was almost as If she knew she was dying and wanted to make the best what days she had
but I felt so guilty I had paid to much attention to the caring side our relationship and not enough to Helen needs as a woman If there was a consultation
It would be at least I made Helen's last few weeks happy ones sometimes I even talk to her and
her forgiveness but I did love Helen so much to many things robbed both of us of a lot of our
Pain and illness sometimes blinded to just pretty Helen
really was Incredibly **** woman kind caring and loving
I miss you,
I miss your hugs,
I miss how you play with my hair
I miss how I am drowned in your kisses.
I don't know why
but it seems that you already forgotten me,
I miss you love,
I'm always here for you.
Your kisses,
Your smile,
Your laughter,
I miss them.
But I miss you the most.
If you ever read this,
Please message me.
Love, I love you.
I dreamt that I saw you
barreling towards me in a sea of people,
and with your arm extended out
to touch me, pushing past me,
and you looked back
with bewildered eyes,
scared, confused,
but not knowing;
I only recognized you when I awoke,
and I'm sure
you'd never remember who I was.
Funny how you've already forgotten me
and how funny it is that I almost did too
They lied.
They lied when they said time heals all wounds,
Or maybe there hasn’t been enough time away from you.

Almost two years to the day,
yet I still find myself keeping tears at bay.
Why did you go? Why couldn’t you stay?
You were just coming around,
You seemed okay.

Yet, I know deep down that feeling you felt,
I often feel it too and left with a remorseful head,
Full of regret,
I could have said something,
I did nothing instead.

I’ve learned a lot while you’ve been away.
I was too late,
I should have never received a call that day,
A life full of guilt because my mind mended,
after you chose to escape a life unfinished.

I couldn’t help it,
Our genetics tell all,
you see,
Those months I had been suffering,
just like you,
I begged for it to leave.

My life continued while yours departed,
Waking day to day,
to a photo of your smiling face,
with that everlasting tear,
that may  never be tamed.
It doesn't feel like two years since my brother passed. I can't help, but miss him every single day. I don't know how to get over it. So I wrote this down really fast after a big crying spell.
maria el rey Mar 3
what do you do when
you never see her again?
after one afternoon

is it enough? to just
burn her face into your memory
even though you sat next to each other in class every day
even though she tried to talk to you
even though the tightness in your chest wouldn’t leave

what should i do when
i missed all my chances
after one afternoon

she took the train and headed to georgia
i doubt she’ll remember me
as farms turn to houses
as houses turn to buildings
as time passes and she disappears into a sea of faces

what should i do when
i still have dreams about you?
on a sunny afternoon
i'm not sure if this poem is any good. i've been trying to write every day of the week because i haven't actually written consistently since i was 14. haha
Jenna Feb 23
Miss you, you
are my sunlight
the rays of unlimited warmth
now gone cold
as my long hair grays
becoming vast storm clouds
waiting for the coldness,
to take over
So we are reunited,
once again
MJL Feb 22
It didn’t turn out like she wanted
Like she expected
She gave her life to him
To make him happy
To make him better
He cheated on her
He gave little back
But sadness
She had hope until it was too late
She woke up old
In pain
Wanting to die to gain relief
Relief from lost youth
From lost dreams
From time’s lament
Another life
Missed beyond measure
Max Feb 9
I'm seeing someone often lately, someone I have not seen in a very long time.

It's me.
Finally, my life is back on the track of which it derailed many years ago.
The way your eyes looked at me,

like an astronomer lost in the galaxies;

yearning to be with each other,

like a pirate sailing through the seven seas
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