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Getting lost, and living solely for achievements, is no way to live.
What is next on the list of things to achieve?
Will it ever be enough?

-Rhia Clay
Sometimes a person's soul is so beautiful, it breaks your heart,
and it does more than merely awaken.
It makes you question, leaving you a wholly different being than you were before your souls met.
The person you were before,
has been shaken from its shell,
and now has to learn to live in a world that seems foreign, seems out of place.
Life is never the same when we encounter such souls,
and why would we wish it to be?

-Rhia Clay
This bends my mind.
Welds my thoughts, turning them into gold.
The heartbeat within me slows and speaks.
It twists like metal wrapping around my being.
Like the beams of highway lights, the day's light lingers.
It lingers in a wayward manner,
seemingly afraid to depart,
turning in and wielding light.
Inside out, it seeks a dark place to shelter.  
This life surrounds me.  
It’s paper confetti and barbed wire—  
always bending and never breaking,  
celebrating and awakening.  
Tell me, what is it that we are forsaking?

-Rhia Clay
The Blackbird greeted the day with a cheerful, “Good morning.”
In response, the owl softly murmured, “Good night.”
As one dream fades away, a new one takes flight.

-Rhia Clay
They say speak your truth,
but only...
only if it doesn’t make others uncomfortable.
Can't smile it away.
They say speak up,
but only...
only if you aren’t too loud.
They say walk proudly and tall,
but only...
only if you don’t attract too much attention.
Can't smile it away.
Though I am tired...
Tired of listening to their empty advice.
You can change for so many people...
you no longer recognize yourself...
until there is nothing left of your true form.
Can't smile it away.
The truth of the prejudices that still exist,
the harmful biases,
the injustices which live in our world,
are not erased, simply...
simply because some choose to ignore them.
Can't smile it away.
The misogyny which exists in our world,
cannot be tucked under the rug,
it can’t be smiled away.
These sentiments aren't meant to bring joy,
these words are not fragile,
these words are not beautiful,
this is just me,
speaking about the truth,
and not feeling ashamed to speak it.
Can't smile it away.
There are still far too many places...
places where women must fear...
fear to walk down their own street,
ever watchful of the hands...
hands of those who feel...
feel their bodies are not their own,
because they are women,
because of their gender.
Can't smile it away.
There are still far too many who do not realize,
that many generations of slavery and oppression,
have left their mark on current generations,
and that hate still lives.
Can’t smile it away.
There are still far too many prejudices which poison the minds,
of those who fear...
fear a religion foreign to their own,
and too many wars are still waged,
in the name of religion.
And when does it end?
You can’t smile it away.

-Rhia Clay
I am grateful for those shining their light into this world, for those fighting for the good, despite the pain they've known.

I am most careful with them because they're the best part of this world, casting their hope into the dark, casting their nets into the stormy seas.

-Rhia Clay
Contemplation

I find myself sitting here for a moment, gathering my thoughts like fragile treasures in my hands, collecting my heart as it stretches across the night sky. I carve out a sanctuary where I can discover a bit of solitude and tranquility. I inscribe my faith onto this page, creating a space for reflection.

I write a name that brings serenity to my weary mind—a name that envelops me in peace: God. This peace fortifies me against the relentless pressures of a life that sometimes feels foreign to me.

Even now, I struggle to fully understand how living with PTSD has transformed my mind. At times, I find clarity, while at other moments, simply existing feels overwhelming. Yet one truth remains clear: I have weathered storms before, and during those trials, God stood by my side. Even in uncharted territories, he is already there, waiting.

He was with me when my world felt like it was collapsing, bursting apart from within, and he remains with me now. So, I take a few more deep breaths, pondering the depth of his love for us. How can it be that he loves us so beyond measure? Yet, he does.

-Rhia Clay
In my days and nights, I seek you, Lord, with all my might.
I trust in you, and even when my trust wavers, yours never does.
I reach for you, and I never stop searching for you.
I search every cell within me for you and seek to spread your kindness.
Long ago, when my mortal mind gave in and sank beneath the waves, you carried me above them, breathing life back into tired lungs.
If you search my depths, you will find that all things beautiful and good stem from you.
When I am unable to let go, I remember the trust I have in you.
I trust you when I don’t understand how I will survive, how you will make a way for me.
I am forever your child, looking for shelter under your wings.
I am your daughter, looking to honor her king.

-Rhia Clay
I am an artist, try as I might, I will never fully live in this world.
A part of me will always live in the songbird's pocket,
and fly, to land on the windowsill of Romeo and Juliet,
to flutter to the doorstep of Anais Nin,
to hear the poetic masterpieces of her mind.
No, with this artist's heart and a poet's soul,  
a part of me exists only in a dream.

-Rhia Clay
Feeling the torn wings and shattered dreams.
Tear-stained pendulum swinging, as my eyes stare down the light in the hallway with a ten-yard stare.
Climbing into my soul, I cling to the shadow of my angel, trying hard to hold onto a ray of hope, like a dream catcher chasing away bad things.
Falling, I realize that in this descent, I am discovering myself on my way to the ground.
Falling endlessly and quietly, without a single sound,
I ask myself how much farther down I must go.
My soul whispers back softly, “Until you’re found.”

-Rhia Clay
Fall greets the earth as summer slips quietly away.
The seasons are changing, as the leaves shift in color from Emerald Green and Chartreuse
to Russet Browns, antiques of their once fine grandeur,
though still splendid in their beauty.
The color of the leaves, as if painted by hand, so individually crafted.
With swirls of Orange and Coquelicot, the leaves fall as if they are gracing the earth the way a painter graces their canvas.
The air grows cooler, giving way to new glory, breezy winds that whisper, carrying undertones of what is to come.
The lakes feel the chill, and the creatures understand that the changing winds will soon give way to a glacial paradise, an icy oasis.
The changing of the season from summer to fall is one I look forward to,
for there is something in the change that brings back fond memories.
Days filled with love, days spent in front of the fire, snugly wrapped, watching the flames twirl and dance.
Days filled with wonder, days in which my life seemed to move along to a soft and gentle melody that only I could hear.
Days when I held to life, and it met me with grace.
Still now, when I feel the fall winds gently embracing my skin,
I feel the same wonder, and that old melody carries me away again.

-Rhia Clay
I know it's not the season for fall poetry. However, I wanted to share a piece I wrote a while back that brings back fond memories. I hope you'll enjoy it too. :)
Fire

There is a fire inside my soul,  
with flames dancing beneath my skin, casting shadows against my cheeks.  
I feel my spirit rise after enduring so much.  
I sense the fire lingering, along with the sun and the life springing forth from my lungs.  
And you, God, you draw me into your depths, reminding me of who I am,  
and that I am not finished yet.  
This world has tried to bury me with its furious fists and powerful hands,  
and yet, here I stand.

-Rhia Clay
So, the morning called to her.
Rise, it said.
Don't you feel the air whispering?
It is filled with freedom.
Use it wisely; savor every drop.
Stretch it across your life until it covers everything.

-Rhia Clay
I remember kindness.  
I remember love.  
I remember grace so pure that it blinded me like the sun.  
I will carry that with me always.  
I will shield it like the light within me, a light that grows each time I rise above the ugliness I have known.  
Every time I choose life, I remember you.  
Every time I choose to care for myself instead of letting this world make me feel unworthy of love, I remember.  
Thank you for all the love you poured into me and for being a light during my storms.  
I remember…

-Rhia Clay
Great are those who lend their light to those who have lost their own. They are miracles in human form.

-Rhia Clay
She had a well-oiled mind.
A kind of thinking that kept a rhythm,
even in chaos.
That kept tapping the well of knowledge until it found what it sought.
That kept time with life,
while feeding the spiritual.
With one foot in the proverbial language of the world,
and one foot in the meadow.
Quick but careful.
She took her time,
in a world where anything tedious was shunned.

-Rhia Clay
I stood in silence, and though the world offered me no time, I stole some time, and I relished in the victory of the moment I had stolen.
It belonged to no one, save me.

-Rhia Clay
Then there are those moments which touch the soul,
and you wish you could freeze them in time.
Sometimes, mere moments of kindness can heal years of pain.

-Rhia Clay
We drank coffee and smoked cigarettes as the sun rose.
We spoke in philosophical rhymes, unaware of the passage of time.
I realize now that the love we had is lost.
You reach for me, but I am a phantom. Long ago, I stopped reaching back.
Still, what we had—the raw and unearthly attraction, the bond forged between our two souls—is unlike anything I’ve ever known.
I will be alone until love strikes my heart like it once did.
I want a love that burns me to ash and then resurrects itself from the remnants.
I want a love that bleeds, gives, and never makes me question my worth.
If I can’t have that, I am content with nothing at all.

-Rhia Clay
Mothers are a gift.
They bear their burdens with such grace,
one would never know of their struggles.
They raise leaders, nurture our future,
and give endlessly,
all with a smile.
I don’t have many words today, as the day’s work has worn me down. Instead, I possess a quiet but firm resolve. Softly, under my breath, I whisper “Jesus,” and for now, this is enough...

-Rhia Clay
Value your own peace enough to guard it fiercely.
Regard it as something precious,
because it is.
Make no apologies for doing what you think is right to maintain your sense of peace.
No one understands you better than you,
what you must do to take care of yourself,
and you owe no one an apology for how you choose to protect your energy, your peace.

-Rhia Clay
I’ve been sprinting through this life, caught in a whirlwind of urgency and strife, weaving through congested streets just to reach the sanctuary of home.
Trying to keep grinding, though my destination is unknown.
The grind never ceases; I push forward until exhaustion grips me.
Yet, I rise again, for stopping is not an option.
Barely making ends meet, where is my antitoxin?
I pour every ounce of my being into this life, striving to carve out a place for myself.
Trying to tell myself that my dreams will someday be taken off their self-imposed shelf.
I’m stumbling, balancing precariously on this tightrope of ambition.
Don’t falter; don’t gaze down.
The drop won’t seem so daunting if you don’t mind the sound.
Gasping for air, I gather my strength to face it all once more.
I crave tranquility, peace of mind.
Struggling through the chaos, it’s hard to find the time.
I need to be my own anchor, be my own best friend.
After all, that’s all we possess in the end.
Suddenly, in the chaos of it all, a voice like an angel pierces the veil of the struggle.
Tears flow, my silent release from the weight of this existence, a small reward for all of my persistence.
The music begins, its melody enveloping me completely, every note hanging in the air so sweetly.
All my pain is unlocked, and my soul breathes a bit, and for a moment, there is nothing but the moment of this song.
A moment in time I stole from this heavy world, all of my resistance…silently unfurled.
-Rhia Clay
I breathe deeply, remembering sweetly.
I close my eyes, and the sound of the wind as it runs along the beach is close.
The sound of seagulls fills the air, and the piercing sun that causes me to squint is hot on my face.
The hum of the car stereo rings in my ears, and I feel its rhythm in my fingertips.
My heart swells with happiness as my grandfather smiles warmly at me and asks if I’d like an ice cream.
I am as happy and drunk on life as I will ever be.
At this moment, I don’t yet realize that the grandfather I know as my father will soon leave me, as his body begins to fail him and his heart beats for the last time.
I am 10 years old and I believe he will live forever; death is the farthest thing from my mind. Life still feels gentle and breezy.
It’s on days like these that I hold on to the memories of my father. I carry his smiling, gentle eyes in my heart, and on the dark days, I fight harder because he loved me so deeply.
I let that love burn away the pain.

-Rhia Clay
Just a moment spent in prayer,
is worth more than all the wisdom this world can offer me.
Just a whisper from Jesus,
is enough to replenish,
to find the strength to finish my journey.

-Rhia Clay
Is there anything more gorgeous than a human being rising, greeting their own soul again after the distance nearly tore them apart?  

-Rhia Clay
I don’t know how to quit. I am not made that way. I don’t give up.
I burrow into the earth and dig deeper roots.
I bend and dance, but through God’s grace, I mend—full of both fury and grace.

-Rhia Clay
If I spread my soul out before you, would you stay, seeing all my light and all my dark?
  -Rhia Clay
Tell me a beautiful story, but just for tonight, please don't punish me with the truth...

-Rhia Clay
Life is a beautiful emotional symphony.
A tapestry of exquisitely arranged chords of truth,
melodies of blue.
All orchestrated and arranged in a stunning range of love,
and a lasting stanza, encompassing all that is unknown..
I hope your melody walks with you gracefully all your life.
May it softly serenade you when you believe all hope has vanished,
and offer you healing, always remaining by your side,
whispering to you endlessly, from dusk till dawn.

-Rhia Clay
Take me somewhere slow and easy.
Take me somewhere where the pain can’t be felt through the waves as they crash against the shore.
Take me somewhere where the skies are so blue that their brilliant hues can bind the hurt.
Take me somewhere where the pressure of life doesn’t consume me, as the music lulls and keeps anxiety at bay.
Take me somewhere where I’m not expected to bind my joy to pay the people’s currency.
Take me to a place where life is gentler, where the wind caresses my face and the sun warms my days.
Please take me away from here.
I’ll find my peace on the horizon, out on the open highway.
It’ll find me as the moon lays its song on me, soft lullabies for a weary heart.
And I’ll be okay, I promise, once I leave this place.
I’ll leave the pain and all the damage here.
I’ll lay it down for good, all that this town has put me through.
All the tears and tired souls with plastic hearts and stone faces.
Take me somewhere where the air is crisp and clean, and I’ll breathe easier as I lean into the breeze.
Take me somewhere slow and easy.
Anywhere but here…

-Rhia Clay
Today I stood in the fire, my mind and heart torn with stress, my spirit weary.
And in one moment, someone said the one word I needed to hear, "God."
My weary mind, battling with PTSD and OCD, calmed instantly.
Your peace enveloped me and carried me above the waves, back to shelter, back to grace.
I have never asked for an easy life; I have asked for grace to persevere.
I have asked for grace to show others kindness when my flesh is anything but peaceful, when war has taken me over.
In your wisdom, you have given me grace.
Thank you isn't enough, though maybe if I leave that here on this page, perhaps tonight it will suffice.
-Rhia Clay
She gazed at the dazzling array of stars,
filled with awe and curiosity, cradling her aspirations while serving as a witness to the miracle of life, how a mere spark can evolve into an entire universe, a vast cosmos.
Nearby, a vigilant owl perched silently. Did it contemplate this enigma as well, she mused? Surely, the essence of meaning and wonder isn't exclusive to humanity, she reflected.
Surely, every creature feels the pulse of life within it, and the pull of the unknown.
As if responding to her unspoken question, the great barn owl hooted quietly and unfurled its mighty wings, soaring high into the sky, eager to discover what other marvels awaited it in its palace of trees.
Farewell, dear soul, she whispered gently; perhaps one day soon, I too will spread my wings, and fly away from this place.

-Rhia Clay
My soul is digging its feet into the earth and fending off the shadows that surround.
My spirit is being tilled, unearthed, unwound.
The plow strikes my bones, and I am becoming something more than my eyes can visualize.
I am being planted, uprooted, and rising out of the ground with roots running through my veins, and my spirit cries out in faith because my soul is being strengthened through the pain.

-Rhia Clay
I hear both your words and the unspoken thoughts behind them.
I hear the whispers of judgment that fall between the cracks in the floor and are felt from the other end of the telephone.
While I don't need your acceptance, it's still hard to accept that, as your daughter, you still don't see me.
What you focus on is what I lack in your eyes, and all that needs to be "fixed."
I am so much more than my shortcomings, and I deserve love and respect, even as an imperfect being.
I realize that now.
Yet, after all these years, your judgment still stings, and my heart continues to ache with the pain it brings.
So, I love you from a distance, so that I can safeguard my heart, so that I can remain whole.
I refuse to dwell among those who seek to undermine me.
I have won too many wars to fight another battle with myself.

-Rhia Clay

— The End —