With long ash blonde hair freckles dotting my face and shoulders rosy lips and cheeks from the sun I am a young girl again Laying on the Atlantic ocean shore my back pressing into the soft sand Letting the waves roll over me laughing hysterically as the salt water tickles my tummy and I plug my nose
It was at this age I smiled cheek to cheek without worrying about the layout of my teeth I didn’t consider myself lonely I had quite a lot of fun with my imagination Not yet the age where I was preoccupied with image or my emotions Just living like the waves crashing over me
This is a real dram I had, I think about it all the time.
i’d really love to thank her for being so, so strong. for not taking our life when everything was wrong. i don’t know how she did it, the flashbacks paralyze me still. must have been nothing less than strength of will. even sometimes now i’d really like to back out but i hear that small girl screaming, “we can’t just give up now!”
so much mystery surrounding me so much inner journey I am bound to be taking on in the future, so insecure about my future but truck along fiending for gas, I take it day by day with a little sass still don’t drink coffee and you can hold the flask so trying to outrun the trauma from my Dad it's a tough pill to swallow and that’s usually no issue for me thank god I traded all that for ****, I always was attracted to green aquamarine baby, no march aries pisces like the koi fish coasting on the crystal blue water evolving, healing stuck in the past no longer moment by moment, touch by touch, hands entwined friendship showed me love
Drifting deeper into this September dust It’s been a thousand nights of wide open eyes Waking up to sounds of December dreams Your hands shaking in this frail wind As you try to steady your heart beat To match the stagnancy of these cold encounters But the little things hurt too much And the little thoughts dissolve into your atmosphere Faster then the rain on your skin Drifting deep into these November nights A thousand days of rehearsing the right words to say When all the words you knew too well are too big to house in these hours you dwell in So you sink into this mud made of spring Running from a winter that craves your honesty Your reflections sit here in this fractured mirror Waiting for you to break this inner silence
If at times we have to swallow the bitter pill of remorse we may at first appear to sound much like that of a horse. And when copious tears flow they tend to purify our being leaving us with an inner peace and clearer sense of seeing. _______
From 'The Quatrains' ongoing writings since the early '90's.
Now the feeling is calm: Melancholy in a good way; in a dying after living a robustly fulfilling life sort of way.
A little ahead of the herd; a little behind eternity. Isn’t the herd me too? What’s going on here anymore? Is anyone winning or losing anymore? It seems a bit chaotic anymore. Megalomania is a big word for a little mind. What can we be if not kings and queens of forever? Why chose to be born a slave? Why make a world this way anyway?
Who’s punishing who? Whose mirror do I see? There’s no one else to watch; no one to wave back. No one noticing anything anyway anymore. You can do anything cuz nothing even matters anymore. Aren’t we at the crux of the cusp of the ending and beginning of time? Can’t you see the party playing on the screen in the other room? Didn’t you hear the great HUM resound in her belly?
Why am I still writing? No one is hearing my words. You are speaking volumes of love to masses of vast empty oceans. You are riding on waves of endless clouds under the expanse of endless unbroken sky. You are writing for me and I am speaking only for you.