i wonder if you think of me.
i wonder how you see me.
i wonder what i could have done,
to change how this all played out..
maybe it could have been better.
i talked to mom,
and she says its not my fault.
it wasn't my fault you left.
it wasn't my fault you went to jail.
it wasn't my fault for the fights.
i look through pictures.
i look through gifts and jewelry.
i look through our texts,
and i never realized i was constantly
made the bad guy to your victim.
you confuse me.
maybe that's why i took so much to heart?
we are both hard to read.
we are both difficult people.
we are both confusing each other.
sometimes i forget about you.
sometimes i forget about our problems.
sometimes i forget about the pain.
i like it when it happens,
maybe you like forgetting too.
cause you forgot to text me back.
cause you forgot to give me a call.
cause you forgot what you have done.
you forgot that we aren't exactly alike,
because you broke me to the point of malfunction.
i end up thinking about what we've come to,
the journey down our cracked and empty street.
what you've done cracked the concrete.
what you've done curved the lines.
what you've done went against the speed limit.
the girl i am now doesn't trust people so quickly.
the girl i am now isn't a pushover anymore.
the girl i am now is stronger than i've ever been.
and its because you've made me like this.
you changed me yourself, so... thank you.
i wondered for answers,
though i knew it wasn't my fault.
i look through our past,
because we are both pushing away the present,
but unlike you, i don't try to forget it.
you hope i forgot what you've destroyed,
but i cant, because what you've done has changed me
into the girl i am now.
thanks for the life lessons, dad.