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I get you
we're one
I feel your essence
and you feel mine
and my loneliness
in crowded spaces
with eyes pretending
to understand my thinking
and my pain
and my mending
You get me
get my anger
and my shame
and my torment
and how everything hurts
my skin tense
like needles are stuck in it
and tearing it apart
and i think i exaggerate
and i make up things in my mind
to try and survive
all the horrible darkness
the average human knows
but you tell me
that it's fine
it is mine
I'll survive
day by day
step by step
and that this pain is real
though it can't be seen
and i tell myself that i fake it
but it causes me to cry
at random times at night
when all else is still
but all is blurry inside
and i get a sense of clarity
when i'm hurting
cause i'm trying
to make sense of my reality
and you get me
and it's alright
and we promise each other
we'll be fine
It really ***** when the pain you feel inside your head affects your body but the people you love still can't see it
They are doing their best
Maria Mitea May 17
as I go up and down the stairs,
the rain stops abruptly as if struck by lightning,
the breath of spring deflowers my lungs,
I see two eyes bathing in the outpouring of sounds,
the chirping of birds snatches my mind,
pulls it on a string,
- the thought
sits on the lilac leaves,

I cling to everything that gets in my way,
I feel like then
when I was drowning in the pond at the far end of the village
hanging from a willow branch
at the bottom of the water, I hear your voice,
you were whispering:
"breathe, breathe, move your hands
move your legs,
it will come, it will come "

with the tightness of my heart, I take my head out of the water,
expire water,
for the rest of my life, I stay away from thirst,

at times

I prefer to be a sauerkraut
or dilute like a mercaptan
which passes through its own volume of air,
raising its value to an acceptable limit,

I search,
I give myself time,

I end up in a world of smells,
lichen, moss scent the forest
without losing patience
or weight,
lazy molecules (arouse my envy),
- little magicians on stones,
faithful masters of the forest boulders,
a carpet of green moss
I will be,
without blood in the veins,
without flowers,

today I will be
a moss that absorbs all the moisture from the rain
until I get over my own invisibility.
stillhuman May 11
Thirty days and thirty nights
i spent in agony
panicking
suffocating
this pain isn't unfamiliar
with its sharpness
and nauseating consistency
i pray in fear to my higher self
to be stronger this time
but my hands are shaking
and i receive no answers
No one else gives you courage
gives you strength
like you can do
No one else can give you change
to make it easier for you
Only you
Only me
Take a step forward
stillhuman Feb 14
In your big warm hands
and in the smell of cigarettes
and that cologne you wear
that clings to the nice suits
that seldom touch your skin

I find that here
there is only safety
and the crushing guilt
that has always forced
my head down
and my shoulders to curve
on myself to hide
just how many scars
are visible on my face
-I find it gone,
suppressed,
blinded,
by your light
and your warmth
and I forget
its taste in my words
and its shameful existence
in my core
And I only care to be
embraced and devote myself
to you
Maybe you didn't put the sun in the sky but we could enjoy it together while it lasts
LannaEvolved Feb 10
Difficulties in your life do not come to destroy you or worse create a war within or between you and your life- they come to help you realize your hidden potential, your abilities, your capacity for great things; they come to meet you as prompts to connect you with yourself and begin to move deeply into the growth phase you are inherently and subconsciously needing.
When your heart and mind are calling out for you to find the support and the truth you need to free yourself from manipulative or toxic behaviors and people themselves, and they feel stuck and do not know what to do to get there or to move into that space to do so, it might often feel like nobody hears you calling, like your mind does not hear what your inner thoughts are saying to you or your heart is so insistently yearning for on the inside. The surface of this true and honest desire that you want for yourself is being projected as if you have it, but it inwardly and quietly feels desensitized or at times even indifferent on the inside and you must wake it up. Nobody talks to it, but it speaks to you, in whispers to get your attention, musing you but you ignore the signs each time it tries to nudge you in another direction for your best, it urges you to make a new choice, but you choose not to listen to the words and just keep going keeping on with your self-projected ideals as if everything is perfect. Crying combined with frustration and unfavorable self-esteem inside knowing this is not the case.  
Well, I would like to share with you this learned wisdom, and this comes from my own journey of transformational and personal change.
Change can only occur once you turn inward and look into your own mirror, your own light, and appreciate it without listening to the voices of others who attempt to persuade you of what and who they are.

Let no one puppeteer you, you control your world.
You reach out to it and speak to it because you want to. And trust, it will respond.
You’ll never have to ever worry about the Universe giving you an answer in return.
That is what it there for and it always will.
This is the voice.

You’ll then begin to allow yourself to listen
and hear it’s thoughts like you hear your own, you may even visualize it and speak back, but do so calmly and appreciatively in a kind and confident manner when you’re ready and this image, this voice will listen to you too.
It always does.

For all the artists, the creators, the lovers, the shifters that need healing for themselves and others or for anyone who simply needs to hear this- I’ve been there and I’m here for you now.

There is always hope even without knowing it.

Why? Because there is always faith in who you are and the knowing that all the love you put into the wrong will work itself out by transforming  into right ministering as it should
in the end.
I watch curiously within
As my fear becomes anger
As my anger becomes suffering
As my suffering becomes learning
As my learning becomes wisdom
As my wisdom becomes freedom
I pause
I notice
Thank you fear, for your gift
a much longer process than a short poem might have you believe
Ingram Jan 24
I cleansed the knife
you stabbed in my back
and cauterized
my bleeding wounds
with it.
LannaEvolved Jan 23
The human being is a madman lost in his/her adventure.
Blood in the veins
People with masks on:
Further dims the confinement
of this human cage
We’re all accustomed to..
Take a breath
An act of faith
Will 2021 change our lifetime with
the cross of illusion that 2020 gave us?

My ghost is a blade
Stone by stone
I pervade

Sitting in a loft of treason
Transmuting a spinning cycle of pain
I see through the translucency of all of it

These shaky frames with their eyes dangling
Raise your spirit to me
Fire beams perforate the lost

Fermented
grapes
distill the wineries of seasons passed
over into the space
between death and the living
Breathe.

'I am the Empire at the end of the decadence’.
Written by LannaEvolved
and French poet Paul Verlaine
Blanca Dec 2020
I fell for you the moment we met,
But not all at once.
It was a slow descent,
More of a seeping
Into somewhere I had not been before.
Would it be sweet and warm?
Would it be tranquil and still?
Or would it chew me up, spit me out,
Leave me drowned and alone?

And I kept falling.
And you dragged me down by my hair.
A flirty text tugged me down like a brick,
Towards some unknown damnation.
A grab of the thigh sent me spinning,
Over and over and over for weeks.

Then I landed.
Without grace and grazing my skin.
I landed in a place called Truth.
It was filled with a single light,
Surrounded by shadows that whispered
that you would never love me back.
And the whispers broke my bones,
They drew blood from my nose.
I screamed.

But then I began to float,
Carried by a warm wind.
A wind who called herself Revelation.
She told me to rise up
And to realise that you were still here
Here for me.
And that even if it's not in the way I wanted,
It's more than I could ever ask for.

Now, basked in the light of Friendship,
My bones mend, my nose stops bleeding.
And I can start healing.
A very impromptu poem about me healing after my straight friend tells me my feelings can never be reciprocated, and me realising having him as a friend means more than anything else. I know this isn't my best, haven't written in a while and just needed to vent tbh.
Heidi Johanna Nov 2020
Death is coming out of me
Every memory of pain and mourning

I’m bursting with light

Despite the dark I’ll come forth with
Roaring hope and fulfilled longing
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