Calling all the walking dead
All the ones who’ve lost their hearts
Who’ve learned to fill their ribcage
With love’s broken scraps and parts
All the ones who’ve drained their faith
Who’ve spent years chasing hope
Who’ve lived in piercing sorrow
But have somehow learned to cope
For years you’ve been decaying
Wishing anyone could see
You’ve pondered giving up
But something just won’t leave you be
Because you’re the walking dead
You refused to meet the grave
You’ve managed to escape your fate
You’ve chosen to be brave
Of all the ones you’ve found a way
To breathe by pure resolve
You’ve fought a war with death and
Against all the odds evolved
It’s hard to fathom giving up
You almost don’t know how
And though you miss your heartbeat
You’ve fought too hard to give up now
So calling all the walking dead
Who have won this war before
And calling all the walking dead
Who will cheat death once more
Death wails across the battlefield
And begs you to give in
But you’re the walking dead
And you know that you can win
It was a mirage
Translucent and flimsy.
A daydream tucked
Gently in between the folds
And it was an
Effervescent and scary
Now after an
astronaut is tethered
To an earthly landing
Do the spectators see
Not a utopia or a dystopia
But a heaven created
On solid ground
That once had been crumbling.
And the artist
Who had designed
Such important drawings
Now saw the importance
And also the creativity
Of sculpting her own
Sometimes it may seem
Life's not worth the fight
Nothing about it seems right
Why try if in the end we just
Although some of that may be true
It doesn't free me from you
My family or my life
It just means it will all be harder
More of a pain
Then something magical happens
In the depths of your heart
In the inner machinations of your brain
It drives away the pain
Happiness will guide you
From then on in
You'll find yourself in another
That's where it can truly begin
The healing of a broken soul
And a fight that you can win
I took about a year off to focus on life but I'm happy to be back and I hope you all are doing ok. DM me if you aren't and I would love to talk to you about it.
I always thought
to look to the future.
What job do I want?
What job can I survive off of?
Who will I marry?
Will I marry?
Can I find a job that I can enjoy and live off of?
What pet will I have?
How many pets will I have?
WIll I travel?
What type of house will I live in?
My wonderings go on and on.
I became so trapped within my mind
that I forgot to look where I was going.
I forgot to look at what I was doing.
Days passed, then weeks, then months, and years,
and I still have no answer to my questions.
But I do have a lot of scars and hurt.
I get stuck in my mind again,
this time trapped in my memories.
Why did I do that?
Why did I say that?
Why are they gone?
Will I ever see them again?
Why did I hurt them?
Why was I so stupid?
I was trapped.
but never here.
Never in the moment.
My mind moves a million miles per hour,
never noticing what was right in front of me.
I can barely remember so many things
that I should.
All because I couldn't stop my mind.
Lately, I've begun to realize my mortality.
I've begun to ask the age-old question of,
"What is the meaning of life?"
"Why am I living?"
I've begun to realize that I don't know
how much time I have left.
So why would I trap myself within my memories?
Why would I trap myself withing my wonderings?
I have begun to force my mind
to slow down.
To take it easy.
To live in the moment.
It really does.
I now know I am loved.
It is not some made-up fantasy or wondering
made in my mind.
I am wanted.
It is not some longing deep behind my walls.
I am needed.
It is not some hidden guilt somewhere.
I mean something to someone.
I can be someone.
I can make a difference.
I can help.
I can make it.
I can do it.
I can beat my mind.
I can overcome my depression.
I need to learn to live in the moment.
To not let my life pass me by.
To love and to be loved.
I can do this.
I can make it.
I can live in the moment.
I’m in a phase
I’d like to erase
Or slip out sideways.
I’m swimming in a sea
Alien to me
And I want be free.
I don’t want this to last
So I swim fast
Trying to escape the past.
But I’m tied to this place
And the past keeps pace
Slapping me in the face.
How high should I reach
To get to the beach
Where my tongue can find freedom of speech.
Am I running out of time
Can I call back my prime
Or is it buried in grime?
Will time tell
If I dwell
In a place like hell?
Or is it the battle of the mind
That slips out to find
What is unkind?
Must I then grin
And fight the sin
The battle to win -
The beasts of thought within.
You can't say I've lost myself when
I purposefully threw me out.
That person is somewhere in a trash can,
wearing clothes with footprints that will never be washed away
Multi granular igneous rock
Heat and compression
Lava pools surrounding mineral stones
The development of will in its distinction
It is strong
It is powerful
struggling to shoulder
while future taps
an impatient foot
I wrote this in my fourth year of living with MS.
As science advances, an option of eternal life on earth has still yet to come. We live knowing that we will die.
Is there a timeline of our life that we can't see?
Is there a limit to life experiences that we can take?
How come it is still so hard to accept the death of others?
You live everyday like it could be the last but only because you're told to not waste your days. You've seen many lives come to an end before they had the opportunity to realize the beauty of life.
Twenty-Four hours minus the time it takes for your body to rejuvenate. What can be accomplished?
There is no correct answer. Anything.
Many hours are dedicated to sad thoughts. Weeks fly by.
Unhealthy habits created, trembling fears followed.
The only person who understood you is gone. He's dead.
Eventually, a light shines through all darkness.
A realization of no one can live life for you, except you appears.
You find joy in the little things. The trees overwhelm you with joy cause they are so green and you've never taken time to observe.
Days following are filled with routines and productive thoughts and behaviors.
A year later, the pain is reminisced on. You notice growth.
From not wanting to live through the week to waking up joyful for the opportunities that day holds. Joy is easy to come by without trying. Sad days are limited and happiness is plentiful. The days past were not wasted but a lesson learned.
This is about me overcoming the death of my brother.