Being one to sit in judgement of the black, white, the gay or Arab,
To judge another upon history of failures, of isolated events.
Should one "remain a black man or black woman" when
"Everyone" is "sick of their antics," only focusing on the
Negative, a few compared to the whole in madhouse protest?
Should I see that gays are unfit for marriage, service, children,
Or other things just because of the background of the few?
Shall I wrap myself in this ignorance, and let us give into this?
Rather than except them in whole? Do blacks simply walk around
Town and all alone turn everything upside down? Does a ghetto
"Grow" in their wake? Do we not cradle this evil view, this sinister
Racist hate? Do we not point the finger of blame at the blacks for
Having to fly our confederate flags again and again, clearly not
In any manner displaying any white love for them? Shall we believe
One bad Apple spoils the bunch, even if there is one in every
Crowd, so it seems we must remove all who are in their presence,
Yet have nothing to do with their practice?

*PEOPLE DO...

I was in a small crowd of roughly 300,
I was standing there watching the cloudy skies,
Near the beach. It was then that the spaceship landed,
Building speed, out of the blue, it found someone,
To take them away for their human life.
A battle broke out, it was almost like
A Transformer had just become the
Next alien spacecraft, and there was
Nothing like it, or so it seems.

I said "NO," seriously not liking the
Idea of this alien taking a poor human being,
But you know what the alien found?
Too much of a match, wrestling, he wound up
Losing control and the human won,
Walking back to the crowd. His friend gave him a
Cigarette and the right to look like a big space man
Had finally gone down...

Sure, I've ruined it again!
Follow me around like I'm the actual
And only problem. You'll eventually get yours!
So you think I'm the ultimate biggest of fools?

(Well, for once and for all, check yourself!)*

Nice people finish last, and there's nothing nice
About going around with personal problems, that I
Have to fit your personal standard, even when they
Are following all of the standard rules!

Every weekend at summer camp
Memories of the midnight walks we made,
The rushing of the silvery creeks
As well as the daily art and games,
Entertainment as well as molding clay,
The mountainside at night gave good
Presence, the moon offering her halo,
With the memory of endless essence so,
During this time of adventurous fun,
A story telling we campers would all go.

Her raspy voice, I can remember well,
Those cute sparkly playful brown eyes,
We walked side by side, she told me that
The truth was being denied, she was a
Girl in disguise, how I dream of her
In Garnet, Capricorn. That feeling of total trust,
Now I will probably never be close to
Anyone I love again, already grown old,
To old to ever dream, but what a dream,
A lovely bliss to know that she was my friend.

One day, when the time is right, we'll find it,
This feeling again, of wild spirited joy, campfires,
Of following the forest path, now innocence lost,
A time that is long-gone and past, and if it
Never happens again, the darkness of night
With quiet whispering, story time moon light,
I will never forget her, never will I forget that
Beautiful freckled face, those beady eyes,

*No, never forget you, not for all time.

I don't recall how long exactly it's been
Since I've seen your playful, boyish eyes.
The nonsense in me says to play it cool,
But I know I'm just a lie that only dreams it flies.
This is how love goes when the lights turn on,
But no one is or ever shall be home.
I'd rather be in hell dining on hot firey coals,
Then know how it feels to be this sort of alone.
To me you were precious sunshine that fell from above,
But never did that sunshine share with me love,
Instead I wound up in a world of pain,
I can never be whole, never one nor the same.
You still exist, yet the carrot before the donkey's nose no more,
For now, forever, I do not know when, but that's why I'll
Always be so forlorn.

This my darkest hour, whether by pain or pleasure,
I can never forget my feelings for you,
Try as I might, run for now and forever,
You will always be there somewhere in my gloom.
How is this possible? That one person can hold me
So close from so far, that I imagine their arms around me
Even with this my dwindling flame in the dark?

*...till it's no longer burning, going out, just a spark...

When men brought him the Pandora's box, guns, the angel of "light,"
The "innocent and perfect" of all love, armed himself to the teeth,
To bestow such "safety,"  around children when armed, allows us to risk
The lives of all while the just "feel safer" having one, "less likely harmed,"
He is enlightened of all things and kills to survive, lives by the sword,
But "can not die, will not die." He is the advent of all this and more,
And he started this practically perfect way of staying safer in order
To find more "dangerous targets," even children, to shoot at in war.

It's hard to believe that we were just
Feet away from each other at one time,
Your dark eyes and brown short hair,
Your soft voice, and my endless crying,
(Still in pain from that day you told me to
Go my own pointless separate way)
You and I, we hold each other so close
From such a great distance-in my mind.
It's just like they all say, love is burning,
My house is in a fire ablaze, I am so burnt up
Over you. I will watch as the skies set fire,
I will wait until it burns down every last
Square inch of this place of evil in it's entire.
There will be no end to my pain
Until this world ends or you and I are
Holding each other just the same!

The golden sunlight shone
Bright over the hill
As the wind fills the
Sky with flower petals.
A single drop of dew
Falls onto a dandelion
Growing in a field
And settles.
I gaze deeply
Into your eyes then we kiss
Slowly, our hearts
Beating fast.
I take your hand
Walking onward in the
Grassy field as we go on
Forever, and we never look back.

I slip and fall, behold the water all around, this daze, the overlit tiny
space, hospital, looking at me, doctors piercing gaze.
This is it! I feel their needles pierce my side, fill me with that which
will put out my lights.
I scream and in a rush they tilt my head back and let the pills
go down my throat. I was the one who got myself trapped
by this modern castle moat.
Should have known better, but still I cry, this is it, I'll set fire
to the skies, and no one will ever again sing me sterile lullabies!

*Tick
Tock
Clock
Years
Fears
Covered the empty bed sheets
Tears
Vague memories burned into my skull
Like a flashing bulb
****
All pain is gone
The chills
Spills
Backwards
Slipping into a near coma
From my FREE drug induced state
Speeding heart rate, and yet you,
Sifting through bottles
For that one last pill
To free your cowardly self
From having any free will.

He's so perfect! He's a great guy to bring home,
He has a fast, expensive car, he works at a good job,
He's got his own backyard, a house all his own,
He's got a lot of "decent" connections,
He's always around to be a wisest leader,
Loves to take you down if you failed inspections,
He's just so perfect!

And so this is what "real love" is all about. *How unrealistic.

It takes more heart to stand up to the "fire"
When it threatens the very life of your loved ones,
Than it takes to hand some guy easy money
And then go off and help yourself to rich freedumbs.

Wise person says,
You can't buy happiness
Without learning that something
Always gets lost upon
The return to reality.

I'm trying to "help the community,"
Trying to make a "healthy impact,"
I have a goal in mind, set,
It's all laid out ahead, before we've met.
I am forever "blessed,"
I can lose my moral traits when convenient.
I have all of the "virtues I was given,"
Most always fail me. My hindsight vision, "20/20 perfect,"
I've got a "healthy" set of norms and a
Pair of able legs, I am in the right
When I stumble and I'm not wrong
When I am told otherwise,
I've gotten somewhere at being in control,
Now I let strangers into my home and
Set up a world in which they're rights can be
Defined based upon my living. It's my decision.
If it's tolerable, I decide.  How soon you have to
Be finished and even how you're to be judged.
I am judge jury and executioner. I can make it
A "grand" money-making excursion. My family
As a group of strangers who "care," I never distrust.
Always and ever at my side but in the background,
We will see to it that this is somehow legal,
So long as no actual authority are around,
*There's no one who can stop me now!

Being "in the right," this nation of sick animal killing,
Insect spraying lunacy has now gone ahead
And called us all a bunch of Eco-terrorists,
Yes, that is right, we're all "conspiring evil," everyone.
Whatever.
Cute, we're the villains for stepping in between
Their atrocious evil-doing and all of it's "purity."
May you all burn in hell if nature ever made one.

They forget pain, forget sorrow,
Then live in the dark, pluck hairs,
For that perfect look of tomorrow,
They sick their dog on the poor, the immigrant,
The downtrodden, the scapegoated. They give no
Honest time to what the less fortunate have in store,
They continue to work themselves for many an hour,
Pick up where they left off happy and content,
That all who oppose them will lose any help
In bringing them down from their cloud of power,
Then they take whatever they were after, laugh,
Chop off any hand or cut off that which "offends,"
That stands in the way and slows them down,
They will get what they are after and be the
Most "handy helpers" helping themselves around.

I never knew how you cared-and never felt so
Loved, until I found I was out of control and
Fell from up above. You don't deny me you,
I don't deny you me-and so elated was my
Heart when you sat ahead of my seat. I felt
That day the bus ride would never really
End, and something in me never knew
What lied around the bend.
Our sunshine fell from the sky like sparkling
Drops of dew, and when I see the golden
Flowers I always think of you. I feel
This love I have for you is very strong!
As you called for a stop 'cause you got
Sick-we were at the mission just past dawn.
Why when you got sick I fell in love I really
Cannot say, but then again that bus ride still
Continues to this day...

I have a crystal both darker and lighter,
Just gleaming; like illuminated sparkling
Beaded droplets of water, with a healing top.
I hold it to my chest though
And it seems faint, almost
As thou all that light and energy
Is just for the eyes; it's vibrant heart feels lost.
There is a black and white pouch
In my box, so I get it out to put the crystal in,
As if for safety while it is still healing.
This stone with so much beauty
Yet seemingly vague, you'd think
It was meant just for the eyes,
So very empty. Like soft rain, the color of
Every rainbow comes from the skies light,
Yet you can feel oh so silent and lonely.
Maybe I could find a place for this stone,
Perhaps I'll put it with green and gold
So it wont seem so empty, so alone...

As a wise man once said: "hinder not the learning of youth,"
So what do you do? You build walls, you are anti-social,
You don't want to talk about "it." you are angry and hurtful,
You have to punish them for misbehavior, then do what you
Please, you hand them everything they need, then take away
The keys.

A wise man once said: "better to lay you down for your friend,"
So what do you do? Every man for himself! Run off and find
A small lil' mine and dig and dig until you find gold as well,
Pick up a small piece of the pie while starving people in the
Third world die, we "can't help them all" so why not just accept
Bread lines?

A wise man once said: "It's not ours to **** others, you shall not ****."
So what do you do? You make tanks and nuclear submarines,
You create machines of death and destruction for our "protection"
With the very weapons that so easily can turn back upon us,
You always join in every war and say destruction is simply
"A must."

Wisdom has been turned into words alone, we speak it, but we do      
Not act upon it, thus we become hypocrites and knaves upon thrones.

I was not aware of what "is in store,"
When is an art not unlike a tool?
If it can be used for nothing what then?
Is it a toy for plain simple fools?

"This is my logic, hear me now!"
I yell at empty skies so pale,
Let there be an answer for once,
This rhetorical question growing stale,
I ask "Why am I here? To make an impact?"
What then is this to ask when no one
Answers back? My plan for the next day:
To eat peanut butter sandwiches like new,
To hear the sound of my own mind from the blue,

Own mind: OF COURSE!!!

Forget it, I've thrown my hand...it's clear now you all
Think I'm the devil, till the end my reputation marred,
This will be the way of it, to be left looking so hysterical,
All I'm asking for the last time is this simple question:

**Where did I go so wrong trying to do the right thing...?
Is loneliness the end result of not wanting to fit in by
Drinking, smoking and/or popular religious cults etc. etc.?

If I look back, there is always something so close.
It's a cough, a bug, decay, it's the essence of a ghost,
It follows quite near, year by year, the more I ignore it,
The closer it gets. When I go to sleep at night my dreams,
They seem to vividly remind me of this following "thing,"
The proverbial "monkey on the shoulders," It's quite
Like something that starts out soft, and gets to be mean.

If I look back, there it is again, this thing that follows so close,
If I listened to you, I'd decide not to bother with it but just
Throw myself into this daily routine, this job that we "must do,"
I could ignore it and let it build up, like an itch I simply wont
Scratch, I could pretend it's a mirage, a cloud out-of-the blue.
But do I ignore it?  

No,  instead...

It becomes my inspiration...the reason I don't care any more about
Your endlessly building needs or concerns.  
YES  I know you hurt, "you'll die first!"
If I don't reach you in time  I WILL  **be "sorry I forgot your pain!"
While I reach behind my own back and rub my own troubles away...

Thus now the smell of funky, I'm ******, hyper,
I saw beauty in so many infinitely different hues
(of Purple) I got a kind of wink from you and it truly
Killed off my lonely blues. You say I'm so "******* up,"
Eating, got the munchies for salty, savoury treats, feeling so ****
I'm ****, I swear, now rude, I'm on a level "so low" that you "would
Never go," and being so youthful and free, you must punish me,
But do you know what I have got to say?
*It sure was a whole lot of harmless childlike fun getting this way!

Here's my poem about stuff that happens
Especially when you're sitting there in front of
A washing machine bored out of your skull,
You've got the world at your fingertips and
Yet that world isn't really whole.
Of course it's obvious I'm only joking,
This is a great time to be "alive!"
Hug your computer, it'll be your
Best friend, your playmate,
Your GF or BF, it will be your
Sweet 16, your  toy your prideful
Joy, it will take you to places far
And wide and never leave your side.
HOORAY! We all get to die without
Having truly *LIVED LIFE!

Above and beyond the clouds of my endless sky,
I found a "small challenge" to finding my sweet,
She'd gone away to College and found a cute guy,
This is the reason each day I do not happily greet.

My joy is an illusion, I hide myself from the pain,
I beat this image out of my mind again and again and
Again. But still it returns-her and him-hell I've not even
Seen his face but I can imagine mine like a dismal disgrace.

I confess to the world I am a failure at best,
I had your hand, your heart but failed your test,
And now I am put back in my box to rust and to rot,
To be happy at the bottom is worse than sad at the top.

She sits upon her royal chair,
eating a donut, drinking coffee, smoking a plume
smoke rising like a phantom menace in the air.

She calls upon her royal friends she sees,
the batting false eyelashes to a perfect stranger
asking the "gentleman" only for his "hand" by all means.

She drives in her royal chariot,
A red and orange one, flaming stripes at the sides, singing
Songs about the battles and triumphs of wartime's "great" merit.

One day this lovely newborn bird will fly the coop,
the child I know by rights was a born queen! She'll
win first in pageants and then we'll drink to soul's soup.

You may never love me
I wonder what to do,
I'll be at the end of the tunnel waiting
But I might never be with you.

This is a sad day for me,
It's already time to go to bed,
I can't think of a worse hell
Than trying to get you out of my head.

N+A for never...

This dark twilight world of crystal clear
Envisioned skies, stars shimmering in the
Limelight of the Milky Ways crest,
Where worlds collide and whole stars reborn
Again like phoenix rising from the ashes...

You found me

In the back of a pickup truck making out?
No. That isn't what love is about.

In the alley way shooting up?
OF COURSE NOT, quite evil enough.

In some boring business meeting where
Nature is an abomination, even an evil?
Never could I imagine...

In an exotic tropic region, near the glistening springs,
Hills green and gleaming flowers still fresh with dew...

Her short hair glimmered, her eyes frantic,
like a deer in the middle of the grass,
her hands at her sides and a small jacket on
as she continued down the dusty path.
Her arms are soft, delicate like feathers
placed around her amidst small floating leaves.
She stood in the sunlight, with lost letters written
mis-spelled out all across her hand in pen of ink.
But still she had to move on, a young man stood
in front of her like a quick spoiled cat, he was dark,
a strange boy with eyes brown and hair solid black,
I still think about this, stuck on grass green parks,
like autumn days, all the wonder and moments we shared.

I have everything I need, or so I'm told,
We get by being just another girl or guy,
Make the most of this without eccentric goals,
Give me a break, this is what I "need" in life.
The truth is we're all about making a scene
When I finally get to live my "dangerous" dream,
This place has food and shelter and "life,"
Sure we've got it made, this way of life is obscene,
One way or another while I wonder about "it,"
These "insane" feelings of nature just never quit,
When the time comes I'll magically find the "right place,"
But until then who knows if my dream is a streaking bet,
Don't even bother going naked, I'm already just a "disgrace,"
You "Go Army" and die, my basic needs are all too well met,
But along with these words are the reasons I wont move just yet.

Without asking for more than the simple sweet simplicitys,
I am bounded by the same laws and rules for life.
No use in explaining the values of eccentricities,
We are all tools for the media, for what they strive.
A product of the temptation for power over others, we will stay
The same forever, entrapped in ice with our sisters and brothers,
The silly dreams we have, our pursuits. A tiny bit of concern to the
Rich-who live to find the right eyeliner, lip gloss-or the best set of
Nine Irons for golfing or business suits. Some day they will
Get what they deserve, some day...some day.
But too bad for me, some day came a little too late...

Sour sweet the taste of bitterness and pain,
What's left of this world, what winds up
Floating down the stream into a drain,
It's man-made perfection-so they say,
They take time and effort filling this world
With so much light, they would be
As if the ones who could defeat death
If but with the brightest bulbs, they'll fight!

But actually in the end there is no way
To cure the common coldness of pain,
Of death, why to attempt would be insane,
I should give in to this lunacy anyway...?
Aren't we a busy bunch? We make for
A strange and power-hungry sight,
The only way off this old earthen rock
Is to find acceptance of deaths plight.

Pineapple topped beach palms are tall in the clouds,
Echoes of bells tones trail in the sky so dark blue.
The sun is liquid honey, with a golden candy coating,
It is now that I look up and see my red balloon.

A song of harmonic laughter is full in the air,
Up it floats into adventurous magical territories,
Mythic beasts and sprites follow on clouds and stare,
Ticker-tape string trailing, windy chimed melodies.

The chalk of clouds are pillows filling the sky,
Darker and suspended in mid-animation, dimming.
The balloon floats still-ever higher in the light,
Lighter than ever, above the earth still spinning...

Does anyone here ever wonder what happened
to the world we knew? Does it seem like
everyone isn't really into what they used to do?
I remember a time when we laughed more.
When the sky was filled with clouds
That hid dragons of myth and lore!
When we would go outside just to play
water games to pass the time, being so
hot in the summers smell of oak and pine.
Camping out was always so romantic,
And love was seeking the person, when I
Grew up days were filled with natural bliss!
Where there were always good shows to
tune in to on the afternoon television,
and someone there at school to dream of,
that you chased and always had a crush on.
This "improved" life is just a degenerate tragedy,
From now on we'll breath air that's nature free!

*What happened to yesterday? WHAT?

You sat there waiting for me in the dingy cafe,
You had pills hidden in your purse,
I should have smelled the tainted smoke in your breath,
This is all it's actually worth.

My time I spend, each day I try
To fix up this messed up life,
While the pain never subsides.

I was waiting for you at one time,
I had believed in your sense of direction,
Your understanding and convictions,
All failed with but simple inspection.

My life I lead, this whine and your greed,
Pain in my heart with how you speak
Like you're the only one I ever truly need.

In the end I was looking for someone else,
They were lovely, beautiful and smart,
Kind to animals and fighting for causes.
You know why I stopped waiting on you?

*Because that isn't the least bit of what you are...

This is the only way it seems
Each time I turn you on-this remote
So close at hand but it isn't what I need
Vague colors and shadows over the screen.
In the end I'm stuck in this vortex,
But I don't even know which way I should go,
Broken down on a park bench
Because you're such a hard person to ever know.
I'm hung up on you,
You're the TV, I press each button on the remote,
You take me everywhere but still I'm lost,
Remaining here in this seat without hope.
An endless stream of shows, this is what I want,
Yes, this is it I guess. I'm lost on you,
I'll give myself nightmares just thinking of
Never getting to be alone with just us two,
Alone on some sofa-in my mind-holding you,
Kissing your neck, then I find I have pillow
In my mouth and I wake up in this stupid
Waste of a wreck.

With the sun
The fire spirits
Bring amber hues
Golden and applied
To a weathered canvas
In the deep blue water
Floating in pools
Of violet and marine
Evermore fulfilling
Evaporating upwards
Floating as silk-smooth white
Clouds, then only descending
Into the emerald green
And soft grass
Holding flowers
Giving them
A cordial of life
With her laughter
Echoing afar.

I've got everything figured out,
Now it dawns on me that all this time
I was being used! And I know that I
Was abused, but then all of a sudden
I feel IT...you know. That "feeling,"
That paranoid feeling that says "yea, and
You but you did this and that and the other
Thing, (I know what you did last
Summer) suuuuure. And so I sit
There re-ensuring all I had my
Needs, couldn't-no-wouldn't let
Myself be until I finally did "IT."
And then I realize I was right,
That I'm just being spooked by
People here who are trying to
Brainwash me at night,
Then it begins again, I knew it!
I was right, I was abused!
But then I feel IT again...

Ain't no way to hide those lyin' eyes...GOD I hate that song.

THE MOST POPULAR VIEW ON POLITICAL EARTH!

*Here it is: they believe by some decree that if a marriage
must happen at a church, no one by any means should
question this word: have you ever even heard?
They want to protect their supposed right to decide
not to help marry the gays-even from a distance!
Even if it's not at their church! They believe that somehow it's
by religious opinion they are outside the law, that
it doesn't need apply to them. "Be abused" all you want,
but if you want my thought, not to be blunt, it's just an
excuse to treat gays differently, get our way-when it
comes to marriage, how great their immaturity!

I'm surrounded in the asteroid belts so near,
Hails of them crash into a desolate moonlit crest.
Then I find myself floating in the stratosphere,
My space shuttle floating in the darkness,
Somewhere behind me. I see clouds I am flying past,
Towards the ground, even plumeting soundless.
In all my fear I'm astonished. I have healthy plants!
Well, ready for the greenhouse, my survival.
I can see my shadow on the ground as I land-
My capsule, I find myself surrounded by magma falls.
My stomach comes up. I crawl out. I lift myself free.
The ruby volcanic lava gushes and melts everything.
This is only proof of all wars hopes and endless vanity;
I've found what's left of our earth, too late to dream.

In just moments*
All were blown away
By the exposure in red,
All I could think of
Was the pouring "blood,"
That my values were dead.
Focusing on my face,
The camera takes an image,
What I looked like seconds
Before my imagined carnage,
Unfolding right in front of the lens,
Spilling my feelings out for once.
Still I only dreamt of it every night,
I'd finally ended it now in hysteria,
Spraying  my worthless "blood" that
Spattered and ruined your camera.