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I won't call it a disease,
I'll call it this This instead.
Tired of sitting in meetings
about meetings.
Tired of swallowing pills
stacking up bills.
This is what I live with
and "it must be so hard"
but I'm strong.
A strong woman searching
to be weak.
Using various techniques
to douch a flaming hot tear.
Because I cannot bear
watching myself crumble
at the expensive of evil emotions.
So I unconsciously chose
This instead of emotion.
I take one to keep the blues away;
One so I don't peel my skin like a banana;
One so I can sleep without being chased by death;
One so I don't jump out of the car on the highway;
One so I don't run down the street ***** talking about ethical consumption under capitalism;
One so I don't cry about the sad looking potato chip;
One to **** the pain in my heart;
One so I can focus on my school work;
One so I don't tell my teacher he looks like a bridge troll;
And one so I don't fall in love with you.
Black and yellow heart breaks,
dangerous knife throws and the empty bombs,
full of ;

Here comes the faceless man,
Pleased by her stretched thighs, the sweaty cigarettes she burns one after another & her thick eyes,
He says

"I want you to look ****"

"Is that a fantasy?" she asks

"Yes," he says, "it's been a thousand years,
thirty-minute hands & 60 pills!"


"Look," he says, "I want you to set me on fire, now!" & takes a **** in an art museum behind a Picasso masterpiece.

"All right," she says, "let's wait for a while, come on back to bed!"

The faceless man instantly crawls towards a dry quiet kiss where innocence and vulgarity both are so awkwardly present...

- Samar Charulingah Godfrey
Sabrina Sep 25
Get out of my head
Stop ruining my life
Creating up little lies and scenarios
Forcing me to believe them.
Atelophobia along with my anxiety and depression that controls my everyday life.
I depend on that one small pill to keep me happy and sane
My brain is so ****** up that I cry for no good reason without it.
I miss one day, and I break.
No reason for me to snap, no reason for me to cry, no one can tell me why I randomly developed this mental issue that runs my whole life.
Let me love someone for once without being doubtful.
Let me love someone without a fear of being thrown out.
But maybe it's just trying to protect me,
So that I don't get any worse.
Get out of my head.
Megan Parson Sep 24
I once robbed a post-box,
      & looked through letters, small & scented.
Of someone's aunt with chickenpox,
And bills handsome, from the rented.

Love letters, I had to read!
Which in boredom, my mind would feed.
Some which made my heart bleed,
An urge to send, a nervous need.

A good doctor's prescription pill,
& injections, with dread did me fill.
Thankfully illegible, so not my joy to ****.

But now, I must stop,
For reasons purely confidential.
As I catch the Postmans' beaming top,
His light bag filled only with what's essential!
A poem on a crazy idea....
Blood wounds.
Smell of euphoria outside.
Today is Saturday.
I'm here bitting my tongue
And I'm going to listen to the talk of my fake friends.

Why they are you so afraid of getting old?

I will then go downstairs in that room where there are people with hot skins.
And I'm going to dance alone.

These pretty girls are so boring.
Everyone wants to die as heroes.
But people will continue to talk with their white teeth like snow.
I will continue to dance alone.

I'll be my best friend.
I will forget that people were born to die.
But people will continue to talk.

I feel so alone.
At the same time the smell of this feeling was so good.

I'm going to take sleeping pills.
I will continue to bite my tongue.

I never wanted to go back here.
I like to live in romance with my dreams.

I'm lying on the floor listening to their noise from above.

Here seems that no one is good enough.
It's funny and scary but I've never felt so alone.

But I'm going to keep dancing and let people talk.
In the house of a million dreams without fears.

Suddenly everything seemed so beautiful.
So I went downstairs to take pictures of everyone's dreams.
To remember that I'm going to continue a girl without life.
Atli Sep 5
i spend my days on
prescription pills
the doctor said that
i'm too ill
i see that lately
i've been weak
it's been going for weeks

i lost too much
i could've died
it's not an exaggeration
it's not something that'll go away overnight
but i guess if you
use your imagination

i told my people that
i'll be strong
but it seems
they didn't believe
so is it my fault that
it had gone for too long
i can't help but feel
like the blame is
always on me

maybe i'll get better
maybe i'll get through
maybe i won't make it
for now, i don't
have a clue

it could be a sign
maybe it's the end
they don't think
i can do it
i guess all i
have to do is
wait and pretend
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