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I am now a pill popper, you see?
Most times I only take three.
But lately I've wondered, how many more?
How many more 'til I fall to the floor?
Three turns to four and four turns to five,
All of these doses make me thrive.
I think after I'm done getting high,
How many more until I die?
I've got ten in my pocket, I'ts no mistake.
So don't be sad if I'm not here when you wake.
My best friend has gotten addicted to some "focusing pills", now she`s in a hospital in some kind of coma, I really don`t understand!!!
Doctors said,
"Kid, you've got problems.
Not to worry,
We can solve them.
Take this pill twice,
Every morning.
Here's two more for
When you crash. "

I was ******,
What did I know?
Fresh in high school
Fourteen years old.
Life just seemed to
Pass me by,
Then I took one
And got high.

Freshman year,
So on point, no one
Could beat me.
Then one day,
They caught my eye;
"You should probably
Meet this guy. "

Fifteen kids stuffed
In a closet,
Huddled around our
Technical sergeant,
In his hands,
Like shining diamonds,
"I've got stuff that you
Should try, man. "

Lortab, norco,
I'd heard stories.
Ritalin just didn't
Do much for me.
Tylenol 4 and xanax bars
Made me picture
Crashing  cars.

Everyone knew that
I had Addy, I drank beer,
And I smoked fatties.
They said,
"What do you want for go-pills?"
I said,
"I'll take ALL of THOSE pills. "

From that day,
My life was over.
Never again would I
Be sober.
Still I pulled through,
In the end,
With some help from
My 'new friends. '

Let's fast forward,
On to college,
Rich kids with their
Parents' wallets.
Track me down with
Midterm chills,
"Hey man, can I maybe
Score some pills? "

Hydrocodone, my
Best friend,
Stays with me until
The end.
Empty bliss that's
Like no other,
Gifted by my
Lovely mother.

Every month, I'd
Throw a party,
Young and ******,
All invited.
Smoke some ****
And drink and chill,
Waiting for those
Luscious pills.

Talking smack and
Starting drama, waiting
Till we hear my mama,
Twist the **** and
Step inside,
Bongs and blunts were quick
To hide.

I said,  "chill, guys,
She's not ******.
My mom's cool with how
I do ****;
Sure she likes to take my pills,
Still, she's brought me
All my thrills. "

"Twenty norco, fifteen xanax,
Pill for pill,
Understand that? "
Then she sat,
And smoked our joints,
"Oh my adorable
****** boys! "

Travis said,
"Dude, that's your MOM? "
I said,  "why, man?
Is there a problem? "
He said,  "nah, but ****,
She's cool! "
I said,
"Only since I've been in school. "
This is one about my relationship with pills and how they seem to connect all of ny friends and family together.

And god knows what else.
You keep telling me “I’m not high I swear! I’m just tired”
But your lips are tinged blue, you have saliva in the creases of your mouth, your body is frail and sickly looking, your skin so white it’s almost transparent. Your eyes are swollen, glossy, and gaunt, your cheeks are sunken, your hair is tangled and unwashed.

“I’m not high I swear!”

But I don’t believe you. How many times have you said that to me only to confess later that you were, that you found a pill and didn’t have the self control not to take it.

“I’m not high I swear”

Yet you randomly smack your head, blurt out random words and nonsense, forget entire conversations, fall asleep mid sentence.

You said you were clean. But the very next day I get a call telling me that you’ve been arrested for a DUI, you had Xanax and Oxyneos in your toxicology report.

I’m afraid to answer my phone when it rings, I always fear it will be the call that tells me you’ve overdosed.

You said “I don’t need to go to rehab, I can quit myself”
But if that were true, you’d be clean by now. It’s been over a year since you told me you were addicted to pills.
At first it was just a perc or two, and now you are a full blown opioid abuser.

You’ve become the thing you hated most. An addict that can’t admit that they have a problem.

“Im not high I swear”

I can’t count how many times you’ve said that, how many times you lied to my face. So many times I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth again.
But I know I will, and I know I’ll go home and cry after and pray to god you wake up tomorrow.

I just want my best friend back, the kind and honest loving girl you use to be.
I’m tired of the you you’ve become.
The girl that lies, that steals, that is wasting away.

If only you never took that first pill.
Addiction steals everything.
am i supposed to cry for you?
that evil grin, your ice cold skin.
you've got me hooked on you.
how long has it been since i broke in?

your cut wrists are tied to the wall,
no fear, other than when you realized you've lost all hope.
and i smile at the sight.
no one cares if you scream at night.
your pretty grin has faded over time.
where's your battle cry?

tick tock, tick tock.
look at the clock.
what does it say?
666, baby I'm on my way.
sorry if i'm moving too slowly for your taste.
and if you need something to help you,
feel higher than the sun,
i suggest myself.
i promise it might help.


knock it's head clean off.
why is the television so ******* loud?
no, i can't hear a ******* sound!
the dysthymia won't turn it off!
cut it out!
i beg you.
i wish all my demons would listen to me.
signs of symptoms.
they all go back to you, even if you don't want them to.

your diligent ways to make me suffer.
you don't quit until i am no longer continuing to breathe.
spending all my days, reticent, hesitant.
the world would be better without me.
that's it diary.
entry, number seventeen.
basically the speaker in this song is arguing with themselves as their depression is getting worse and taking them over faster and faster.
Little ills
need little pills
to numb
the night and day.
Little pills
in colors -
blue, white, grey.
Little ills steal smiles
and give chills,
Little ills,
all in my head.
Arden 7d
Im not suicidal
I just dont want to be alive
     like I dont look both ways before
             crossing the street
     like I dont check how many pills Im supposed
             to take and hope I take too many
     like I cut food with the knife facing me
     like I play with fire and
             I run with scissors
because I still have a little
hope left
but no desire to stay alive
Ren Feb 10
Ever since that evening,
I've come to realize that nothing I do will matter.

That evening, when you coaxed me into leaving everyone.
You told me that a better opportunity would never come, and I believed you.

So, that evening,
I followed your plans, I gave into your whispers.

You dropped capsules into a paper bathroom cup.
My hands were shaking.

You gave me the poisonous cup, turned the handle on the sink.
I filled it with cold water.

And there was the moment,
where I doubted the necessity of it.

Your hand grabbed my cheeks, sharp nails digging into my skin.
Screaming, shouting in my face.
"****** kid, worthless child! Do as you're told!"

I broke away from your grip,
downing the bitter liquid.

Only stopping to refill the cup,
chugging down the rest of the dissolved pills.

You walked me back to my room,
tucked me into bed.

Bade me farewell.
Told me there'd be consequences if I woke.

For an hour, I couldn't stop shivering.
My vision was blurry and splotchy.
My lungs burned with every breath until I finally fell asleep.

But, your plan had failed.
The next morning, I woke.

I spent the day laying around, barely eating.
Trying to get over sickening nausea and stomach pains.

Somehow, my body had gotten rid of the toxins
You're still here, I can't rid myself of you.

Ever since that evening,
I can't drink out of a paper cup without gagging.

Ever since that evening,
I've come to realize that nothing I do matters.
Written as if addressing depression.
SMS Feb 2
She threw back her head
Swallowing with water from the faucet.
One. Two. Three.
Until she could pretend to be happy
Four. Five. Six.
Until her smile lines stayed fixed.
And as they dissolved she felt
A sense of relief and calm.
Debating on whether a seven was needed
She tested her laugh and shook her head.
So soft and tinkling. Six will do for now.  
Even she couldn’t hear the emptiness.
Pandora Feb 2
what happens...
when we fall asleep,
and don't want to wake up?
i just...want to end the pain
Annie Feb 1
is it just me
or do you see it too?

once you break a heart
you can’t undo

i remember you calling me weak
for the pills i take to feel good

i have been going crazy
nobody has any clue

crying myself to sleep every night
constant pain, feeling blue
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