my shorts stuck to the back of my thighs as I walked up the brick steps. I hear the brakes of the bus sigh as they are released. I grab the rusted door handle and look through the spider-webbed window. I step in and the cold air stings my face and seeks into my nostrils and travels down the back of my throat. I see you passed out face first on the couch. I envy the feeling you have, the sweat being dried against the cool black leather. What relief that must be Like a cold bath after a fever breaks. I know your fever is rising but you won't say it.
but your silence and opened pill bottles tell me everything while you're asleep.
my back aches to the sound of footsteps climbing up our stairs. i, alert, run to hide all contraband for fear of losing everything. swallow loose pills you remember you told me you hate me? oh **** its just my sister
Pills are a funny concept, “Eat these and you’ll be socially inept!” Yet as a dive into the night sky, My imagination began to intensify. They were my hope, my resolution, Inside my empty pit of corruption.
So 1, 2, 3, they were gone A tear rolled down my cheek as I realised what I embarked on. I began to shiver and shake the pain away, My mother walked in as I lay, grey “Wake up, Wake up” she whispers, Her words were like feverish blisters, And as she looked down me, Head to waist,
you only learn to appreciate your life when you’re in a hospital bed vomiting your guts out praying to god (you’re not even religious) to please let you live, just one more chance. i’ll take care of myself from now on.