Anxiety Pills popped
skin temp dropped
Depression sky rocks  
Mind feels numb
Mellow from popping pills I shouldn’t swallow
One pill, two pills, three pills, this is how love kills, chasing cheap thrills, to end up on reels
Pride suffercated, ego tested
Limits ignored
Emotions battle back
as I stimulate myself with techniques my counselor taught me, they don’t seem to help
as my heart still feels empty, this pain truly has taken the best of me, and introduced me to my inner enemy “me”
Breath in and breath out
Deep inside the demons want a chance to shout
Wrist full of memories
Blood loss reminding me of near tradgeties
Anxiety kisses my neck while depression traces its dirty hands all over me
This is a threesome I hoped to not be in
In the end I cum pure emotions
Give it your own means. Three stories combined in one poetry piece.
Tell me,
How many sips does it take,
How many puffs does it take,
How many pills does it take,
How many cuts does it take,
How many attempts does it take,
To feel the way I do?
To hurt the way i do?
To be the way i am?
Liyah Bella Aug 5
my therapist asked me how it felt to be bipolar
i never answered but i have been thinking about it
it feels like you are in a plastic bag, and the oxygen is gone and you can't help yourself and it feels like everyone who tries to help you gets trapped in a plastic bag too
it feels you are swimming in an ocean on top of the world and suddenly something grabs your foot and drowns the life out of you and fills your lungs with water
it feels like the sun is so bright it's staining your eyes' point of view
like the earth was made in your image and nothing feels, taste, sees,or hears better than this moment, it feels like you want to rip your clothes off and be touched by anyone's hands.
it feels like you are watching yourself from a different body, and you are wondering why you are acting out like that! and there is nothing you can do can stop you from this mess you created
it feels like someone is controlling you like a puppet on strings  
it feels like you have no control over anything
the lows make you think of creative ways to die
and the highs make you ruin your future plans
Two
Two notes
from two people
in three days.
Three pages total.
You've seen so much
these last few days.
One, from the love of your life-
that was the long one-
the one where he said
he loved you,
and he wasn't giving up on you,
but on himself.
The one that told you
of a detailed plan.
The one who woke you up
because your song came on their playlist.
It was damn lucky
that it came on
because he was just a few seconds
from grabbing those pills
and that razor blade
and those keys
popping, slicing, driving to the bridge
and jumping off of the edge.
The second one
from a dear friend.
One of your best friends
who pretty much lives with you now.
They said they left a note
"it's not anything bad."
They were feeling bad beforehand
but it got a lot worse
when they came out to you
and some other friends
telling them to use gender neutral pronouns
and their preferred name
because it felt better.
Some of those "friends"
repeating to them,
"faggots deserve to die"
and saying that pedophiles
are no worse than they are.
The love of your life
ended up being fine
and was there for your friend
but he was having issues himself.
He saw, he knew, how much it was hurting him-
so just how much
was it killing you inside
to see this happen
twice
in three days?
Your friend is in the hospital
and the love of your life is at home
where the things he could end himself with
are all locked up.
The love of your life
promised you
he would never try again,
would never leave you,
because he, himself, got scared for your friend
so just how bad
was it, for you?
I'm so fucking sorry, J. I love you so so so much, and I never ever want to leave you.
Willow Aug 1
Right when you wake up, for one second you feel like everything is okay but then you remember everything and everything changes. You remember wanting to die last night, you remember taking those pills and then disappointed it didn't work. Remembering what your life feels like.
Cameron Jul 31
i almost let my demons win
oh how i wanted to
they would stop breaking me
over and over again

the thoughts and  voices would have ended
never to come back again
but just when i thought it would be over
you showed me a way to stay

i put down the rope, the pills and the blade
and listened to your words
the demons might have won many battles before
but not this one

as for the whole war
i guess we will have to wait and see;
Liyah Bella Jul 30
and suddenly i am shaking again
craving a small pill that controls everything about my life
i say i only want one more
but i know if nobody was looking i would overdose again
i don't know boundaries when it comes to xanax
Bea Mecum Jul 27
Pills to make your mind feel stable
Pills to do what you aren't able
Pills to make you fall asleep
Pills to keep what you can't keep

Little round chalk colored pill
I swallow you to make me still
Little round unimposing pill
Where did you learn such a skill

Pills for you on the table
Pills to make you feel stable
Pills to keep what you aren't able
Pills with your name on the label

I swallow you one at a time
When I swallow you I swallow my mind
When I swallow you I will not find
any kind of thought to bind

Pills to make you feel stable
Pills because you aren't able
Pills right there on your table
To hoist you high upon a cable
clever Jul 23
i'm counting every sin
and trying to drown my pain in
benzos and cocktails
and it never really fails.
no one else has noticed i'm
never on time.
i'm always alone
or on my phone.
my speech a little slurred
and the roads a little blurred.
i cover up what i'm feeling
with meds meant for healing.
my intentions are clear
but the end's kinda near.
all 'cause i ended us.
i'm okay though.
i swear.
MalakF Jul 19
Happy pill, happy pill you’re meant to make me better.
Happy pill, happy pill I mentioned you in my letter.
Suicide pill, suicide pill help me jump off this hill.
Suicide pill, suicide pill take away all my living will.
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