all the pills I took
make my thoughts blur,
mind is fuzzy.

i can barely stand,
the world is like
a rocking ship.

swaying back and forth
as the sea tosses me
between the waves.

is my head still between my shoulders?
patting where it should be
all I feel is air.

where has my mind gone?
to the clouds
far from ground.

i lost it
i don’t know
where I could be.
g hope 2d
drinking isn't fun anymore
and drugs aren't fun anymore
and popping pills isn't fun anymore
and blacking out isn't fun anymore,
but death sounds appealing
and i know that makes me sound crazy
and maybe i am,
but the sadness is made of me and i can't let go
and oh god i want to let go
please let me let go
i'll get better
Haesel 4d
I know I couldn't do that to them or you
It's just every thing is tearring me up from the inside out
Everyday it gets harder and harder to stay
Trying to pretend like everything's okay
It's making it hard to stay
My heart is heavy and all these things I've kept inside
Is catching up to me
Three years of avoiding talking about my problems and keeping sh*t inside my head
Makes me want to try new things instead
Alcohol Pills smoking a spliff to get high  
Made things 100x worse
A little something I wrote when I was in a dark place im so glad I'm no longer in that state of mind count your blessings
Paz Feb 14
I'm so fucked.
Stop calling me crazy.
My vision is always so hazy.
Left me hanging out to dry.
Fucked me over and made me cry.
I know I’m the girl in the back of the class.
I’ve got the blank stare.
Even though I really don’t care.
Please don’t ask.
Time to take the happy pill.
Oops, I’ve taken so many, it could kill.
I’m not worth the time.
My soul’s a frozen crime.
I'm just so fucked.
Broadsky Feb 11
If I pop this little pill I'll be able to get all my work done. Am I opening a door? One I cannot close? Walk with me as we venture through this together.
Let's see.
redruMAndTea Feb 6
Public schooling houses dangerous and
the most delicate beings to walk shy
or stomp upon the dirt. Thou whom love
to hate, yet hate to love; teenagers. They
take their pill if good mannered, but hide it
behind false grins, if not, to find later
in a tin box dusted in carcinogens.
The golf boy doesn't hide his pill- never.
Swallowed with a glass of social simi-
-larity, he melts away but likes it.
He feels safe and warmed by the flame of
fake. And then she comes along taking a
psychedelic too many- red eyes of
their own fire. Taste the skin of ana-
-ther on her lips; sweet like cyanide tang.
She takes her own kind of pill named CANTSTOP.
She is named crack whore by more than a-
-lot of head down murmured voices coated
in curiosity. They're not afraid of
her anymore- he is though. Slightly but
he doesn't say it. Fuck up- They know it.
Golf boy knows it. Crack whore knows it. He knows
it. Small town fuckup- no future- can't even stay
in school long enough to see a paper.
But can play a chord like a rose in the
barrel of steel- a voice of nostog-
-ia. He makes people feel things too deep yet
barely scratches the surface of himself.
He used to hide his pill. Not anymore.
She dreams of running away with a bottle
of pennies. He drinks champagne and dreams black.
She writes melodramatic spells above
her collarbone- he spends the night alone
thinking dark things about a girl who now lacks
a soul- she used to light up. Not now though.
And they all take their pill like good little
kids.
I stopped taking them
The pills
I didn’t want to rely on them
To be happy, but not too happy
Or to sleep, but not too much
And to eat the right amount.
I wanted to be able to do it by myself
Without the manipulation of my neurotransmitters
And surprisingly enough
I could
I can
I’m fine
Balanced
In a way I haven’t been in years
But I’m cautious
I lied to my psychiatrist
She doesn’t need to know
My mood could flip in an instance
I could spiral again
Loose control
And fall down the same hole I just climbed out of
So, she doesn’t need to know
I need the pills to still be there if I need them
If not for a change in my biology
But for the hope
That makes the fall bearable
Brittney T Feb 6
"It will be 2 or 3 weeks before there is any change."

I doubt these will help at all.
This pit in my chest, it won't ever be gone.
Depression can't be cured. Or that's what I heard.
I've felt bad for so long, would feeling okay just feel wrong?

I was sitting on a bench, reading a book
Smiling
To myself. No one was watching.
I was smiling for me, naturally.

The change creeped up slowly.
So slow I almost didn't know.
I'm suddenly crying, confused
Thankful!
I didn't think I would ever again
See how bright the sun had been.
Notice how nice the breeze felt against my skin.

A tiny change, some pills a day
changed my life in a meaningful way.
I promise you, I'm not happy all the time. But I feel all emotion
Instead of constant inner commotion.

Thank you. Thank you.
Thank me. I could have ended it, I almost did twice. But right now,
Living feels nice.
People hate on antidepressants all the time. Theyve saved my life. Ive tried many kinds and finally found the combination that works. Please if you feel hopeless and alone, go to a doctor. The pills have helped me get into counseling and start a journey towards healing. Depression is scary, please please please don't limit your options from the get go. You CAN get through this. Much love
BWriter Feb 4
You said no one every pays you attention but I'm listening,
I'm listening,
Your eyes look like diamonds when the tears are glistening,
When they are glistening,
All we ever do on this world is sin,
All we ever do is sin,
You won't ever win,
We won't ever win,
My mother has enough pills to look like an addict but that's just medicine,
That's just medicine,
She said she will only fall in love with an angel,
I told her my horns are covering my halo,
Together we could be invincible,
She said together we would just be invisible.
My conversation with an angel….
TheseRoots Feb 2
Traveling thunder
And rolling lies
Thoughts down under
And scarred thighs
Slashed feelings
and thoughts of suicide
Oh when god, when will I die?
I’m feeling stuck, fuck, I’m stuck
So why god, why, why am I alone?
Scarred thighs
Scarred lies
Scarred wrists
And feelings dismissed
I’ll open the bottle and count
One,
Two,
All the way to thirteen
Thirteen and I’m done.
Thirteen and I’m free.
Thirteen.
Can you tell I’m feeling down? Have a goodnight saplings. -TR
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