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Poetic T Mar 21
Every member of our family
              is a spark that keeps


the flame of hope alive..

Never blow out the chance

to know those far away.


Because  they could be the spark


that keeps us lit on our darkest night..


Family is all that keeps the obscurity at bay..


                 even though we don't realise it


                                                           there the little spark,
that keeps us from sinking into the darkest of places..
Maja Feb 26
Remember,
it's always the darkest before dawn
If everything feels bleak and dull and painful, and you have finally hit rock bottom- remember, it can only go up from here on
Amanda Dec 2019
You own every single piece of me
Every part
The only one with all of my heart

I have given everything I have to you within my core
I still feel as if I should have given so much more

Because you deserve sun to never set or say goodbye
Deserve not the moon or stars but the whole entire sky

The love you have shown since the day we met
An unrecipricable gift for which i will forever be in debt

There are no words to express depth of my gratitude
Sure you have no clue cause of my constantly bad mood

As hard as I try being someone worthy of your caress
Each tense day that passes you like me less and less

I cannot blame you for dwindling adoration
Hard cherishing a girl who voices no appreciation

I have noticed the difference in behavior for awhile
Remain unable to coax out your smile

I lost the ability to conjure your laughter
It's vanished along with happy-ever-after

The years spent making love feel like a dream
Unsure if I am remembering wrong
Was it as amazing as to me it seems?

Gone are moments we were free from fear and cares
Happy as long as the other was there

Now all we do
Argue and fight
Pretty sure you're starting to get sick of my sight

I leave marks on surface of your magnificent skin
Drawing blood out
You won't let me in

Scratching hopes I'll somehow break through
If I dig my nails deep enough I'll get to the real you

I do not want to hurt you but I can't seem to stop
The things you say leave my head spinning like a top

I have explained before you have nothing from me to hide
The sole element I need is for you to let me inside

You have never given me a full chance to be understanding
In the past I was strict and demanding

But that was back before I knew what forever was like
Sweat and shake when those withdrawals strike

You have seen me change so drastically
Over time
I'm not even the same me

And even when I would express aggravation
Forgave each mistake without hesitation

For I had known certainly you were "The One"
Locked eyes and right there my search was done

Our romance has survived lots of ups and downs
Used to wear mostly smiles but they've switched to frowns

I am the reason why it's difficult to get along
Finally realized it's me who's in the wrong

For so long pride has rendered me blind
Justifying words no matter how unkind

For every hurtful action came up with an excuse
Truly believed you deserved the abuse

For damage you did and the lies you told
That doesn't give me the right to act cold

You have served your sentence:
A year spent on your own
A prison I built and left you in alone

As punishment for tears you made me cry
Slowly breaking my heart
Not telling me why

For the fraction of life I wasted in chains
I washed different parts of myself down the drain

But wasn't you drowning my sorrows
Hand pouring remorse on not just today but all tomorrows

Haunted unforgettable pain
Memory of what no longer remained

I attempted to seal sadness within
No one got a glimpse of the agony within

I was sure would eventually go away
I ignored the ache and pushed through it each day

But the longer I pretended was just fine
Crazier it drove me knowing you weren't mine

Tortured by the fact was the one who chose to leave
To deceieve myself thinking you would change was plain naive

But truly believed you were ready to be done
It came as a surprise when after me you didnt run

I assume it is because i acted like I moved on
Too wounded to let witness my distress with you gone

Determined to never go through same ordeal twice
Trusting nature i was forced to ultimately sacrifice

I put up walls
Blocked ricocheting echoes of  your voice
That's not all I barricaded out with my choice

In order to be unshackled from terrible fear
Hope and happiness also had to disappear

Solitude was total freedom at first
That relief quickly turned into a curse

I noticed resolve diminishing bit by bit
Something missing from my world and you were it

I yearned for moments of comfort and bliss
Magic contained in your enchanting kiss

Irresistible drawn to despite what you lacked
Caved and despite my instinct took you back

No one else could possibly make me feel the way you do
I accepted a relationship where my heart stays torn in two

But problem is we've had too much room to grow
Into people hardly recognize but know

I am still Amanda and you are still Paul
Infatuation has not wavered at all

But I have grown bitter
Full of anger
Who is responsible for morphing me into a stranger?

A glance in the mirror shows a twisted reflection
I can't pinpoint the exact imperfection

I feel ugly and unworthy of love
Far away from my image I forcefully shove

Why do you tolerate violence and greif?
Patient when in return offer no relief

If you saw the picture I've become you'd depart
Before once again I leave pits on your heart

You hold me in devoted embrace
Piercing with the fearful expression on your face

You love me (at least promise you do)
I cannot fully trust though I try to

I cannot comprehend a single trait you see
I am a screaming mess and you stick around me

You are a miracle that through darkest hours shone
Truthfully very best guy I have ever known
A confessional i wrote a long time ago
Nylee Nov 2019
The drapes are old
The blankets are cold
The lies are told
In the darkest hour

The secrets revealed
documents are sealed
The glass is filled
With the money power

An evening in and out
with screams and shout
millions of doubts
No one is sure

Finally the truth comes in
And more people lying
Words are out, start hiding
Everyone sees the true colour
YusufKudsi Jun 2019
In the middle of the desert lost and hopeless
I found my North star at my darkest moment
It gave me hope and showed me the way
I fell in love with a shining star
She was bright but faraway
Eric Apr 2019
Rain ............ Freezing rain yet again
One of those days where the morning never ends.and tomorrow can't wait to begin . I think of myself as my own friend . I see myself often enough to pretend . I can't even kid around no matter how many letters I send . I keep dreaming a life like a tree where I climb to the top to see the end . Then it's on repeat where I fall back down again . I sit here and there in silence to mend . Before I stand back up an climb once more like I meant. On sunny days I put up my tent , because sometimes that energy , I don't get . I Kindle a fire so farfetched. That I would just love to forget. I'm not quite okay yet . Just me , my friend , and I , we've all met . and everytime the **** gets heavy , we jet. We run through forests and hills till we fall into a unforgettable pit . And we sit , in silence , and wait for how dark it can get .
Osiria Melody Mar 2019
I. struggle
my apologies:
i'm sorry for letting you down
i'm sorry for soundly sleeping upset you
i'm sorry for interrupting your words,
but i'm tired of your manipulation.

II. tension
fishing line:
you take me out of the comforting waters
you make me breathe in the air of toxic
thoughts
you lure me in with your bait of deception,
but i'm tired of believing your lies.

III. escape
just leave:
thank you for teaching me how to myself respect
thank you for pushing me to become stronger
thank you for orchestrating this circus in my
mind,
as the only performer, i've survived.



Melody
3/22/19
I'm happy that I overcame social anxiety over time. If you're struggling with any kind of mental illness, please know that I'm here for you.
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