O yes, you are very naive
I can see that:
Out there in your own little world
Darken by the sunray
And those ridiculous glasses
Upside down:

Sleeping with the liar looking forgiveness
O yes, you’re your father son
But do not think you will be loved again
By the woman and her son
And what maybe, might not be
I know the pattern.

Your nerves will be shattered by torture
For all those good times,
More lonely night to come
She was just as common as the others
When Bitterness Poison Your Marriage


He knows my value.
He knows my worth.
He treats me like a
goddess of the earth

4-29-17 (C)

A little scribbling about my hardworking husband.

Working on some other pieces.

It's been an incredibly busy week with finalizing grades and an emotionally challenging one as well. More on that later.

Thanks for reading! K:)

Somewhere beyond --
that first complete, naked, honest truth
we shared in the moonlight
and the eventual half-truths full of
holes of omission
in the years that followed --
is the place we are in now.

You could be suffering
Clinging to life
Wasting away ever so slowly
and I would never know;
because the truth hurts, or so you say
when you say nothing at all.
We sit in silence.

You have become so absorbed
So obsessed
with protecting me,
my innocence, my love
that the version of you
you want me to see is too perfect;
he's not the man I fell in love with.

Where are your flaws,
your insecurities, your doubts,
your struggles with yourself
and the world? I miss seeing them
in the moonlight as we drive
purposefully nowhere.
You can trust my love with your life.

Marriage is more than a title,
more than late night talk shows on TV
with Chinese takeout on the couch.
It is a lifelong commitment,
a promise to be each other's
first line of defense against the world
and a place to call home.

Marriage is reliving those very first
complete, naked, honest truths
and marveling at the fact that
we are still here.
It is a continuation of that
raw, selfless vulnerability
and a promise never to run.

Marriage is a covenant of love
a love that keeps no record of wrongs
no matter how few or frequent.
A love that trusts, hopes, and endures
because this Earth
was never where we were meant to be.
I love you.

JAC 2d

Waiting to see the love of my life
Home as a husband, in love with a wife
In a dream I can see it, she'll walk through the door
So I'm waiting to see the love of my life.

She'll be with child, and happy as me
We'll hear the news and shout happily
Find comfort inside a home of our own
For she'll be with child, and happy as me.

I'll be a good father, your mom loves you so
We'll show you love denied to us so
You'll grow up and be so much better than me
So I'll be a good father, your mom loves you so.

I'm waiting to see my love, my wife
We made it so far, we were good to this life
Our love has grown up now, with loves of their own
Now I'm waiting to see my love, my life.

Ceasar Abarca Apr 22

I took the emojis out of your name.
cause the feelings i get in my finger tips
when you text back cant be expressed with measly characters..

SOOOO! Here is a list of all texts ive erased and never hit send too that are just for you..


"i just want to breathe you in like morning air and so as i exhale your name.. stars appear."


"i want to kiss you and taste the next 40 years of my life."


"i want to lay next to you and listen to you open your up your heart,
and no, my ears will not skip a beat.
and really i feel 8 again. i want to jot down yes, no, or maybe to you being just mine. cause goddamn you make me feel young.

and being 8 again ill steal my mamas rings just ONE MORE TIME and make sure that i find you in this worlds playground cause if u like it. you kno u gotta put a ring on it. haha

AND I KNOW little boys have spent too much time playing kickball with your heart.
So Sip my soul please, ill bring you juice box joys.
ill cut off the crust off your sandwich and make sure your breads right.
ll make you school girl giddy,
so please, take this,
its not much,.
but its solitude,
*im sending my heart thru this text, no emoji.

ill study the angles of you angel
ill trace the structure of your heart and wings
and ask you how did you got so fly?
and whoever made you fall out of heaven fucked up
let me un-dust your knees and mend your mental wounds.
cause i know its a trip that your hearts taken a beating.
and my voice being ice,
ill sooth youu
and my soul.
ill move youu
& our flowers, with grow. in full bloomm.

ill whisper sweet nothings to your insecurities.
ill love everyone of your negative thoughts
cause your worth it.
and i repeat.
holding you by both your cheeks.. i repeat
you are worth it..

and ill remind you everyday that you deserve to feel fourthgrade feelings of love. my hearts an open house for you. 
 and well run free under cedar trees and ill hold your hand for eternity.

and ill do everything your ex boyfriend was afraid to do, like trust you..

Enandin 6d

For the sake of completeness I'm putting this here. It completes the previous four poems all inspired by my daughter's marriage.
This was my speech at the wedding, I wrote it as an ode and it was my first and only public performance as a poet!
We had a fantastic day, my daughter had a dream wedding and I did get a few laughs.

Do I lose a daughter
Or gain a son
That's the question
I've been dwelling on
We always wondered
If she'd manage to find
Someone to love her
And treat her kind
The worry was
She'd pick an arse
Who'd ruin her life
As well as ours
Then came Simon
Caspers’ ghost
And I thought 'why aye man'
He's better than most
He could have been smart
Or good looking I suppose
He might have been fit
With a distinguished nose

But we'll take him as he is
Geordie accent an' all
Head in the clouds
But he’s quite good on the ball
And you never know under the skin
There might be great qualities
Hidden within
He does like a tab
And a flutter or two
He drives his own cab
And he loves a brew

So he's chose as his bride
Our feisty wee daughter
The angel of the north
And all that we taught her
A wise man many may think
Or a lamb that's led to the slaughter
Steph was in old Aberdeen
When he came on the scene
So he had to travel far
In a souped up little car
While she trained to be a teacher
Such a brainy wee creature
I have to confide
The apple of my eye
And the thorn in my side
But today all we see
Is this beautiful bride

So Simon took her to stay
Down Newcastle way
Where he taught her to speak
Like a duck with no beak
'Hey man'
I've heard her say
When the world and its dog
Weren't going her way
He's certainly opting
For a pressurised life
By choosing our Steph
As his awful wife
Sorry, lawful wife

They've already started
A family affair
With Lacy and Leo that fine little pair
So all of the best
On your journey ahead
Too late now
To choose freedom instead
But if there is a recipe
For loving bliss
It might go something
A bit like this

Keep your ears open and your mouth firmly shut
Always smile widely
And nod like nut
Remember woman
Can't be explained
So never try
And never complain
The last one
Is probably the hardest to do
But if you master the art
Life'll be much easier for you
And if you ever ask what's wrong
And she says 'nothing'
Work it out quick
Because it's a trick
And she's sizing you up for a coffin

If you can master
These rules
Before it's too late
Then you'll delay your trip
To the pearly gate
And if you've wondered
Why men often go first
Here's a little fact
I can put you onto
It's no medical thing
Or a genetical spring
It's as simple as this
It's because we want to.

But a word to the wise
So it's not a surprise
In the years that are yet to come
Look at our Steph
Then look at her mum
And if it's true what they say
That they turn out the same way
Then today your goose may be cooked
Because Simon my lad
Speaking as her dad
If that's how it works
Then you’re fucked.

zebra 6d

a black and white
photograph of her
posed demure and topless
smoking a thin panatela
in a silver and ivory baroque studded cigarette holder
she looking off elegantly aloof
with soft sienna eyes
tender feet brushing legs
under tables of flowing wine
Maxes Opera House Cafe
with miles of smiles
and pink fizz giggles
lips that talk in kisses
and a voice like fondled blooms

that was thirty years ago

dark edges of anger
like knives through walls and hearts
cold touch-less nights
caressed by shadows cast
the bodies alchemy, deranged
silences punctuate arguments,
make up sex, vanquished,
souls bleached in the kiln of war
rattled moons
brittle hides
abandons dance
we've both gone our own way
and running out of patience
yet at the core
an irreducible bond
by history and memory
we cleave to whats left of life
and each other
last grasp in retrograde
soft sienna eyes


In that exotic locale, where we met
Never expecting, but so may prepared banquet
Past times when I didn’t even know you,
You aren’t even my favourite asset
I can’t imagine, your now with me
From being shy and timid, changed in being coquette.

Holding both hands while walking,
Jerking, joking, and loving,
We talked just like a couple,
But realizing I am in the state of frienzoned
In being friends, Everyday warzoned
Because of hoping and begging in a state couplezoned

As a gentleman’s dignity, I will do the very best
So that we can love in very deepest
In every relationships, I will answer every test
So that t’ll infinity our link will never be the failest.

Woke up early in the morning with embrace
To never stop gazing at your  gorgeous face
Yes, everyday my kisses we’re too misplaced
Anywhere I want, even though your already in grimace.

I want to see you walking
In this memorable thing
In front of the altar,
Walking slowly with gentle
strumming of guitar,
I want to hear you saying ‘I do’
When the priest started saying
and I said ‘I do’ more than I Iove you .

For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer
I love you as gentleman’s dignity
Having this serious matrimony,
Without difficulty, and experiencing this simplicity,
Now you are in my property, with my own security
I will provide you full priority
If you love me with fidelity.

Without guilt and anxiety,
Please love me so dearly,
In facing this perfect matrimony,
We can’t be judged since we are already in legality.

I will guarantee my loyalty,
I will be faithful with my own dignity
Until we reach the age of ninety
Playing naughty and having infinity.

Enandin Apr 22

You are my daughter
You are my son
Both of you now know the voyage has begun

Today you joined hands
Today you joined lands
Together you step on to life's golden sands

You are the sun
You are the moon
Both of you are the flowers of spring in bloom

Today is the day
Today we can say
Together you step on to life's motorway

You are my daughter
You are my son
Both of you share this future to come

Life is a gift
Love is a treasure
The journey is swift
Your two hearts are its measure.

This was the reading I wrote for my daughter's wedding. The lands joined were Scotland & England.
Khadro Jama Apr 22

Don't let go of my hand.
I'm not ready to say goodbye
I came to you when you wanted me
Innocence is fading
leaning on your shoulders
I counted all the steps we took
took cared of our memories.
I planed out our future
for an ensured safety for any future children.
I worked.
I've worked.
I gave up fun.
I gave up my smiles.
I gave up my tears.
When i was weak.
Id look forward to the reasons why?
I waited.
I doubted.
I gave up in my young dream.
I Paused school.
Then when i was almost ready,
You Gave up.
You left.
You let go.
You chose me and still let go.
I want to reach out my hand
To you tell you to Not let Go.
But you didn't give me a chance
to figure out why?
You left me all alone.
You've Brought me to my knees.
You've brought me down.
But I'll get over it, soon I hope.
I know you'll become a distant memory.
Now I'm Letting you go
along with these memories.

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