Of everything I want to be in the world, being your Boyfriend, Your Man, Your Husband, Your Pillar of Strength and The person you can rely on has been my dream since the day we met.

I don't remember a day when I haven't seen myself being married to you or just holding your hand while facing the most difficult challenge earth could throw at us.

You're such an amazing person, you're strong, caring, loving, giving, beautiful, gorgeous, understanding, mature, open and precious person I've ever met you are the one person I've ever imagined dating and marrying.

He is The Sun
I am The river

As apart as chalk and cheese
I am the chalk
He is the cheese
Yet with each other
Always at ease

He is The Sun
With directions fixed
Friends ,
A rock solid ,famous five
Since age five

I am The River
Ever flowing Boundless
Friends I have many
Maybe countless

He is my
Soul mate
Best friend
Gift for life

He is The Sun
I am The River

Today we complete 14 years (21/11)

I was twenty,
He was seventy,
He came,
He saw me,
He paid in full,
This ugly bull,
We got married.
My parents had many mouths to feed,
I was the scapegoat.
I was forced,
I was coerced,
Into marriage,my youth in bloom,
A lifetime of doom.

There are many forced marriages in our villages. Girls are forced to marry for a herd of cattle or a dowry.

Biggest  regret is not  getting out fast enough.

Of all the times I held your hand, the last time left me empty.
Of all the times I kissed your lips, the last time felt clumsy.
Of all the “I love you’s,” only a few were real.
Knowing all of this, how does that make us feel?

Of all the times you cried, when did you want sympathy?
Of all the times I cried, you didn’t think to repay me?
Of all the times you used me, sperm donor was the least preferred.
You and I can both agree that our heaven was a curse.

Of all the times we sought happiness, did we think to include each other?
Of all the times we had success, did we congratulate one another?
So many times our emotions dominated, but we decided to ignore.
I guess that’s why suddenly I didn’t see you anymore.

I’ve yet to think that either of us will ever fully recover.
Perhaps you wanted a servant, but I wanted a lover.
Neither of us understood the concept of marriage well.
I should have seen this coming when we entered a blissful hell.

-END-

It's been about 20 months since my wife left me. We're still waiting on the divorce to finalize. Even though I've come a long way, and we're civil, I write about the pain of it because it might be useful for someone else to know they're not the only ones who've been through something traumatic like this.

If our souls were open sockets
That connect us to creator God
Our realities would be mere chargeless particles
Reluctant to feed from the Source
Because we don’t care
What our realities must feel like
That is the reason why when I say
You are free
You go away like a wind
freed from a season’s chamber
And blame me for standing still where I was
Who will know that I stayed where I was
Because I wanted to collect
My soul oozing out of the open socket
That the creator God has sent my way
That I wanted my realities to be
In the form of the Love that I wanted to love you
Those tales that I told you
Where not out of the blue
But my dreams about us
My hopes and expectations
Our togetherness remains
Like a story untold
In the depths somewhere
In the open socket that smiles
At me with helplessness.

He saw me in a coffee shop,
He liked what he saw in one go,
He found about me some more,
He started me to adore.
He told his mum about his feelings,
Asian women! With joy she started singing,
Two days later he came to see me,
He was smart,educated and handsome,
More, he did'nt  want any dowry,
awesome,
My parents asked my view.
I had liked him on the spot
I said,"Yes, why not."
I admired him a lot,
The strings of our heart played the same tune,
Love would follow soon.
It did,
As soon as we were married,
Our love blossomed from a tiny bud into an beautiful flower.
With children a flower became a cluster.
But, the exotic fragrance is still there.
That is arranged marriage,
Each passing year our love strengthened  with age.

With arranged marriage you discover each passing day..Your liking for each other can change to mature love.There are not many expectations.

hanging ON-
for So long
and then,
LEtting Go.
Dizzying High,
come DOWN to find
a CRUSHing Low.
frantically rushing rapids
trickle DOWN to a gentle flow.
flopping heart-
talk it DOWN
DO NOT let it show.
replant the roots,
push them back DOWN
watch, wait and HOpe
for Love to regrow.

When you uproot a plant, or a marriage eventually it will wither and die. Is it possible to recultivate that dried up love? Time will tell...

as now
   we end

a cold anger
has almost
   killed my kindness

   turned me
   into granite  

lethal insults
hurled with fury
   shatter on my skin
   leave me
   untouched

I have become
quite invulnerable
to human outrage

maybe this is
what I resent
most

* * *

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