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Bea Rae 3d
Why did I ever

Think you would respect my no

When I said it
Bea Rae 4d
The thing that I am

Most fearful of is the vow

Til death do us part
I am clinging to you like a steady rain into my palms,
On my knees, in the damp ground,
Putting my entire soul into the act of
Never dropping our love
Never letting it fall like something that is not treasured
Beyond all measure.

Your touch cascades across my face like
Rain in August, when it is
Still warm, and honest, and true
And we are bathing in a storm that is immeasurably beautiful,
Exceeding words, exceeding all of our attempts to define;
To contain it.

Our love rushes like a torrent of wild rivers to the sea
And we are blind to its source and where
it leads,
So, I am here grasping at water as it seeps through my hands,
Trying to control that which I never can.

I don’t want to lose you.

I don’t want to lose you.

I don’t want to lose you.

These doctors come and go
And the testing was good and did not show the worst
Malignancies,
And if we monitor and test and treat
and treat and monitor and test,
I may never have to watch you
Fight for your life in a
Hospital bed.

And yet, as I sit in each, cold waiting room
I know
There is only so much we can do to break the flow
Of the rain,
When the skies open up and say,
It’s time to go.

Still, I will hit my knees in the flooding ground,
Arms locked tight around your neck,
And I will tell them, firmly, and without end:

No!
No!
No!

.
I will fight forever for my husband. Fight for his health, his well being. Fight against a system that wants to brush people off. Fight for diagnosis and treatment. Fight against time. A losing battle for all of us. It becomes more real when a loved one has a major medical issue, but I will never give up. In sickness and in health. I will be steadfast through all of it. Wesley, I love you more than every star in the sky.
Bea Rae Mar 2
Sweetheart what makes you

Think that you will be anything

More than doormat
Bea Rae Feb 24
Behind tinted glass

Your love is quite beautiful

I wish it was real
Bea Rae Feb 22
If I try harder

Maybe I can salvage this

Rather than fail you
Bea Rae Feb 22
My greatest regret

Was breaking myself for you

So you felt loved
Bea Rae Feb 10
He was never mine

To love to hold or to lose

Yet I waste my time
Bea Rae Feb 8
With false hopes and dreams

I stand here waiting for you

To fulfill your vows
Instinct (and the candor it took)
Kiss me when the intentions are ripe
Longevity is a toothsome notion, as if a guiding music
Has the voice to carry, a welfare from here to sun's light

The seen sought, a voice with more than a lip
Of a marvel meant, and deemed a friend?
To the fate we stir, with all of a hosts extravagance, a wit
Of summary heed, to a lived example, praying to be lent

Caught in a hushed tone, the truth...?
Is for any who would listen, a stone of charisma...?
Caring but for the our of decision, we have let a youth
Become the notoriety of since, and a charity of weal to say:

I grow a fruit, with kindness in mind
Tense and awkward, a hope of sincerity's homage to choose
Between a holier water that laud has to rhyme
Or an earthen seclusion of devotions, if may is to be few

Blow and service to an ideal, a harrowed simplicity to vaunt
The gifts of are, a might the fate of all who came
Or is a wealth its own reward, the other opinion in a song?
With babbling lips, and an echo of hearts, the irony of same...

A course of decision, in the name of solidarity
Sent to effused, if not enthusiasm of coping with worth
As a herald of powers and judged same, as the doting charity
We made the privilege, of a prowess in cares, that is many certain

Heed a friend when they are somber, and justice will come
See a friends need becomes the letter of sigh's, and decency is a gift
Keep a friends shadow in reach, and they will know more than home
Heathen a friends smile, here and now a shared eye will lift

Totals of serendipity?
And the quasi focus, of life on knowledge
With a realm to its unction, the reality of another candid liberty
Has become us, the timid and guaranteed forth, of persuasion come of kinds tenuous age
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