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pili Jun 25
you grew up with stories
wine that tasted like iron
and bread from the bone
your romanization of cannibalism should be no shock
you could not only excuse it but worship it

love and hurt are both four letters
and they taught you to count not read
holy and pain look close enough blurred
so punch me with your lips
and hold me with your fists
blood pumps through the heart but pools warm in bruises
you hurt me because that’s how they said He loves

it confused me, the faith, the hymns, the god
all i believed in as a kid was the pain, the pop, the no power above
but i think i get it now
i am no believer, never been, but i kneel when you ask me to
not even god gets that kind of loyalty anymore
i let you hurt me because that’s how sheep love

i mistake resurrection for staying dead a little longer
sacrifice and slaughter feel just as ******
trust and surrender have the same control
devotion and worship bruise your knees the same way
obsession and hunger look the same in the dark
need and want feel like desire, if you look past the lack of spark
god and the men pretending to be him are violent

and maybe I understand communion now
forgiveness tastes sweeter coming from your lips
I’d risk everything just to bask longer in it
sin has never been so tempting
purity is just a concept, opiates dissolve in your holy water
and baby I’m willingly drowning in it
let it baptize me clean
so make me feel unworthy, make me think you cruel
make me test my faith it’s okay
I’ll i bite the apple, say the words, ask to be crucified
watch you lick the blood from my palms and call it divine retribution
take the punishment as proof you’re real, take the pardon as proof you’re kind

i became religious you became a god
a pedestal and an altar aren’t too far beyond
we became that which we couldn’t understand before,
we were not meant to be this
an atheist's postbreakup analysis on her relationship with a former mormon
BloodOfSaints Jun 22
I reach for you
out of habit,
and touch only the dust
where love used to live.

But the quiet we left behind
stays.
And stays.
And stays.
BloodOfSaints Jun 22
I am still here,
spine bowed like prayer on the floor ,
heart burning like a candle
you forgot to blow out.


Come home,
when your hands remember our softness.
I’ll be waiting—
still yours,
still lit,
still aching.
Love, is waiting.
Kira Botkina Jun 6
He
The one who walked worn paths within the Garden Ring,
Who bled his hands against the millstone’s turning swing,
Who, though the hunt was on, refused to trade his crown for speed,
Who held his hand out still—so that the nail could pierce with need.
Anioł Jun 5
This is who I die for, Lord
I’m sorry I say this in Thy Holy Name
But it is not You whom I pray to nor praise

I am down on my knees for a new God

He does not judge me
He does not lash me for my sins
For He is my sin

His touch feels like the sunshine on my face
And He tastes of milk and honey
-
His voice is like a song of the sirens
And His scent is oh so alluring

And I cannot feel you, Lord!
How can I believe
When my real God is right here in front of me?
Before my eyes & before my touch

How could I not praise His Holy Name?
For it feels serene on my tongue
And Yours only when I’ve sinned
When I am on my knees
And begging for mercy

If I shall not lie with a male
As with a woman
Color me the abomination

I no longer worship those I fear
For it only comes with consequences

No God would bare His teeth
When His creations use their will as they please

We do not bite the hand that feeds
For the hand has been empty
And we are starving

His Name rings in my head
Like church bells on Sunday Morning
I want to pray to Him
-
To my never-faltering obsession

Send me to Hell
Because for all I care
My experience with Him
Felt like Heaven
male pov
Hold me like a weapon,
bite me like a sin,
and watch me burn—
because I’m yours,
wild and wanting,
and I want it—
every savage, filthy second.
BloodOfSaints May 28
One more moment in your presence.
That is heaven.
And everything else is exile.
BloodOfSaints May 28
Your hands are altars.
Your mouth is war.
I keep your gospel on my tongue
like a rusted nail
swallowed out of devotion.
BloodOfSaints May 28
Heaven isn’t real to me.
Only you.
And if I have to become the heretic,
the martyr,
the lunatic bleeding on the altar of your indifference—
so be it.
Alfira N May 25
if i’m to get burned
just because I believe in You
then there’s no regret on it
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