Who am I
To want you so
Knowing full well
How much it would hurt her

How cruel is it
That you met her first
And the flame between you
Was extinguished so soon after

What am I to do
Unable to be with you
Yet plagued with the sense
That our hearts align perfectly

I thought I was over you,
Then I looked into your eyes,
And wasn't so sure anymore.

I kinda care for you
I kinda don't care
But whatever you do
My eyes can't stop its stare

I kinda feel jealous
I kinda feel apathy
But when you're with someone
I always feel agony

I kinda need you
I kinda think u'r useless
But like a necessity,
Without you, I am lifeless

I kinda feel love
I kinda hate you
But no matter what
The heart knows what's true

RANDOM PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET, PLEASE SUPPORT MY WORK HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (love me puhlease)

Hello misses Aphrodite
Oh yeah,
That girl is a goddess to me
(To me)
That girl is a goddess to me
She comes to me in
flesh and blood
The most beautiful girl
to deceive this heart
Nothing ever comes for free
But this girl
Just stole my heart from me

Oh your beauty is undeniable
The way you touch me
Is indescribable
I think I'm in
For the ride of my life
The flame that burns deep
Inside grows brighter
Every time our lips collide

Hey there misses
super model
Think I've just been hit by
Cupids arrow
Make no mistake
I want you
I wanna take you higher
Then you've ever been
Just relax yourself
And let me in
Together let's take this
Opportunity to spread
Our angel wings

Oh your beauty is undeniable
The way you touch me
Is indescribable
I think I'm in
For the ride of my life
The flame that burns deep
Inside grow brighter
Every time our lips collide

The stars shine bright
In the evening sky
As our passion for each other
Fire ignites
And will blow this earth away
Just like dynamite
As soon as our chemical
Love sparks fly

Hello misses Aphrodite
Oh yeah,
That girl is a goddess to me
(To me)
That girl is a goddess to me
She comes to me in
flesh and blood
The most beautiful girl
to deceive this heart
Nothing ever comes for free
But this girl
Just stole my heart from me

©2017 Written By Benji James

H.

How does everytime
You write
I feel fright
Your words
Always circling in my mind

I hate
That my heart is at stake
But again,
I couldn't repent

My invested feelings for years
Built up fears
Not reaching you
Crushes me within

Are we the same?
Do you also feel that?
In my life you came
So you made me pain

When will I get over him, seriously?

Isn't it funny how I've written more poems about a failed infatuation
Than my true love and that situation?

My true one, he gives me hope, he makes me feel loved
All you did for me was rescue me when I was being shoved-
-
-around by drunk adults who sloppily danced to your song
Your wannabe-country-accent piercing the mic all night long

Even though you were twice my age
You made me feel like the creep
Made me think I hearted your posts too much,
Ignored my messages,
Made me think I was too deep

I offered you help, offered my promotion skills for your music career
But that went right in and right out of your ear.

There's even "the song" I listen to
When I find it 11 at night and I'm thinking of you
It's called "The Feeling" by Justin Bieber
It reminds me of :
November
Bubblegum
Bus rides
Liking my teacher -
-
He answered the door high
In pajama pants
He kept repeating my name
And thanking me for stopping by
-
But that's another story, let's focus on you and "The Feeling"
The rolling, loneliness that I revel in
The loneliness that sends my heart and brain reeling.

Did you follow me and then unfollow just to mess with my mind?
Playing with little girls' emotions? You're not a person of that kind.
But seriously what the fuck? Did you just follow because I liked your pic?
Visited my account?
Found out that it was me, and then unfollowed real quick?

I even told my friends about you, it's not something I often do
But I was stoked and told them everything you said
I told them how you friend-requested me,
Started the convo,
Liked a pic of my face,
Left me on "read".

It's not your fault you didn't know all of this fucks with my head,
I don't even realize if you ever knew?
Did you ever get any inclination I had a tiny crush on you?
Did that motherfucker tell you? Did he spread lies about me?
Did he say I was emotional, say I was trouble, ,
Or is it your own conclusion that I am creepy?

Did you even know I cried
the day you moved across the country
And continued your life on the other side?

I had a dream about you the other night
But I hadn't thought about you for a long while.
Hadn't seen your face in months
Hadn't stalked your profile.

In the dream you acknowledged me for once
You drunkenly smiled in my direction
For the first time your face was inviting
Instead of terrifyingly filled with rejection

I laughed and joked with you
As night cut through the air
I laid my head on your thigh
Played with your hair...

But back to my point -- why have I spent so many words on you?
Why aren't you outnumbered by poems about the one who is true?

The reason:
A wise person once said, "I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart"
There's not more about my soulmate because he has filled my heart


He'd never hurt it, and never will do
Because of everything you did (or lack thereof), that's why there's more poems about you.

>I swear, this will be the last poem I ever write about you.<

Nothing was ever there and never will be.
I'd like to forget about you, a year after you've forgotten about me.

I'm sorry... I know I'm so fucking paranoid about what you think of me. Honestly I know you think nothing of me. You don't even know anything about me but I feel like you think I'm creepy, even if you don't. I talked to you today. You were sweet. Thank you. Goodbye. That was probably the last time I'll ever message you too.

I don't want you (anymore)
Get out of my dreams (now)
I had my chance (for a while)
You did nothing (every time)

So now I don't want to think of you (ever)

be gone
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