I keep telling people who ask,
I'm the best I've ever been!
But if that's so true
Why am I still crying every night because I miss my brothers
Or blame myself for the divorce
Or regret liking this boy because even though we've kissed a lot, I don't think he likes me
Yet I'm happy?
I have a job,
Family with structure,
A school with great grades on my scripts
But I can't trust anyone or see where I fit
I'm so lost in a little city
But don't worry big city 'friends,' I'm great!

I don't regret moving so far away but who was I to think I would become someone starting as an empty shell
Him

His smile warms me, as I melt into his embrace...
Leaning into him, my head on his chest,
Drifting to the lull of his heartbeat as he caresses my hand...
His head on mine... Jumbling my thoughts...
He plays lacrosse, his chestnut hair ever so soft...

Unfinished but here's what I got so far...

I guess I was naive for hoping
that I could get you out of my Mind
though my heArt always sTopped
whEn you were Just walking by

your words toy with the strings of my heart
your smile dilates my eyes until they are no longer brown
your hugs give me a feeling of safety that cannot be matched
there is no brighter moment than when you walk into the room

i walk by and read the mind of the girl you also smile with
i am not the only girl mesmerized by your bright colored hair
your laughter and gaiety causes every eye to turn on you
and once they do, they cannot look away

instead, each girl stares at the other in fierce competition
to figure out the thoughts of desperate minds and fearful hearts
yet each one longs to be the other in that moment
to be laughing in the eyes of a boy with bright colored hair

my legs are crossed but my palms are open
as i sit between you two
you poke me and play with my hair
while you tease me and make fun of my glare
i lay eyes on each of you but you match my stare

and yet my eyes still linger on your brightly colored hair
your laugh that billows in the air
i cannot help but reach my hand out and touch you
for the 25th time
i know you may never feel the way i feel
or understand the way i understand you
but there is not a moment that goes by where i do not wish to be
the cup of coffee that you hold or
to wear that sweatshirt that protects you from the cold
or the wind that gently touches upon your lips

i go long periods of time without the sight of you and
my mind is able to forget
the way you mesmerize me with your brightly colored hair
but you always return and i am always overjoyed to face you once again
and every time i ask myself what is it about you that makes me so connected
why do i feel so drawn to you, so understood by you in our shared moments of few words
or the way your eyes light up when you hear your favorite song being played
how you tell me you wish you could sing better
and i whisper under the melody - do not let fear interfere with your passions
and i could listen to your raspy voice for hours as long as i could smell the captivating collision created by your cologne and clothing

Em 4d

I haven't had a crush
In a long time
Thinking I wasn't worth
Anyone else's eyes

I've been tainted over the years
Other people's mistake
I doubt anyone would want
Someone else's seconds

I tried to keep you away
Because I like being friends
Love being friends
And I don't want that taken away

I have this crush
On you of all people
And even though I may hate it
I think I've just fallen a little more for you

So I've got this crush ...
Dovey 4d

Number one
Around them I can't talk, I get undone

Number two
Actually, I feel the least shame in talking around you

Number three
I'm so nervous around them, butterflies in my belly!

Number four
I feel accepted by you, no one else can do that anymore

Number five
I'm not pretty enough... beautiful to them is what I strive

Number six
Plenty of times you've seen me at my most ridiculous

Number seven
If we were together, it'd be constantly perfect, a heaven!

Number eight
You put up with my bullshit- another reason you're so great

Number nine
I'm stressing, what'll it take to make them mine???

Number ten
There's no words to our fidelity, your love is fine unspoken

The difference between "love" and "crushes".

Crushes always felt so icky to me, nervous and self-aware. Essentially, I always felt "crushed". But my love for them, well, it makes me feel the opposite. Like, I'm calm and relaxed for them, and I feel like I'm enough for them no matter what.

The both of use are even really unverbal about emotional stuff, but the fact that we care about oneanother is fine not said. It's like we can just, tell?

Remember homecoming night?
We were awkward.
Wouldn't look at eachother.
Laughing in my head.
Wishing we weren't friends.

Nakia 5d

Can you feel that?
That thing in my chest.
Just started beating.
What feeling is that?
When you look at me I feel something in me click.
I feel so stupid
I know i'll regret this.
It pounds against my chest.
I think i'm gonna get sick.
I feel things inside.
I just dont say it.
I swear there's a spell on me.
What magic is this?
The way I adore you.
It's so pathetic.
I think you cross my mind every minute
No longer brain dead.
I break my neck to glance at you.
No spinal cord was given to me.
That's why I act like puddy when I have your body near to me.
I like this thing you do.
But boy what's your toxicity?
This feels a little like heaven.
But is it slowly killing me?
I bet you didn't know you ignite the very thrill in me.
The smile you show.
You put the very chills in me.
The ecstasy.
I don't know what you're doing.
Got me drooling all the time.
You summon the very kid in me.
Wait,
Can you feel that?
No?
Me neither.

i look for you in
the center of
the sun

but it sets
before i
can truly
find you

based off of “find you” by nick jonas
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