I keep telling people who ask,
I'm the best I've ever been!
But if that's so true
Why am I still crying every night because I miss my brothers
Or blame myself for the divorce
Or regret liking this boy because even though we've kissed a lot, I don't think he likes me
Yet I'm happy?
I have a job,
Family with structure,
A school with great grades on my scripts
But I can't trust anyone or see where I fit
I'm so lost in a little city
But don't worry big city 'friends,' I'm great!
His smile warms me, as I melt into his embrace...
Leaning into him, my head on his chest,
Drifting to the lull of his heartbeat as he caresses my hand...
His head on mine... Jumbling my thoughts...
He plays lacrosse, his chestnut hair ever so soft...
your words toy with the strings of my heart
your smile dilates my eyes until they are no longer brown
your hugs give me a feeling of safety that cannot be matched
there is no brighter moment than when you walk into the room
i walk by and read the mind of the girl you also smile with
i am not the only girl mesmerized by your bright colored hair
your laughter and gaiety causes every eye to turn on you
and once they do, they cannot look away
instead, each girl stares at the other in fierce competition
to figure out the thoughts of desperate minds and fearful hearts
yet each one longs to be the other in that moment
to be laughing in the eyes of a boy with bright colored hair
my legs are crossed but my palms are open
as i sit between you two
you poke me and play with my hair
while you tease me and make fun of my glare
i lay eyes on each of you but you match my stare
and yet my eyes still linger on your brightly colored hair
your laugh that billows in the air
i cannot help but reach my hand out and touch you
for the 25th time
i know you may never feel the way i feel
or understand the way i understand you
but there is not a moment that goes by where i do not wish to be
the cup of coffee that you hold or
to wear that sweatshirt that protects you from the cold
or the wind that gently touches upon your lips
i go long periods of time without the sight of you and
my mind is able to forget
the way you mesmerize me with your brightly colored hair
but you always return and i am always overjoyed to face you once again
and every time i ask myself what is it about you that makes me so connected
why do i feel so drawn to you, so understood by you in our shared moments of few words
or the way your eyes light up when you hear your favorite song being played
how you tell me you wish you could sing better
and i whisper under the melody - do not let fear interfere with your passions
and i could listen to your raspy voice for hours as long as i could smell the captivating collision created by your cologne and clothing
I haven't had a crush
In a long time
Thinking I wasn't worth
Anyone else's eyes
I've been tainted over the years
Other people's mistake
I doubt anyone would want
Someone else's seconds
I tried to keep you away
Because I like being friends
Love being friends
And I don't want that taken away
I have this crush
On you of all people
And even though I may hate it
I think I've just fallen a little more for you
Around them I can't talk, I get undone
Actually, I feel the least shame in talking around you
I'm so nervous around them, butterflies in my belly!
I feel accepted by you, no one else can do that anymore
I'm not pretty enough... beautiful to them is what I strive
Plenty of times you've seen me at my most ridiculous
If we were together, it'd be constantly perfect, a heaven!
You put up with my bullshit- another reason you're so great
I'm stressing, what'll it take to make them mine???
There's no words to our fidelity, your love is fine unspoken
Can you feel that?
That thing in my chest.
Just started beating.
What feeling is that?
When you look at me I feel something in me click.
I feel so stupid
I know i'll regret this.
It pounds against my chest.
I think i'm gonna get sick.
I feel things inside.
I just dont say it.
I swear there's a spell on me.
What magic is this?
The way I adore you.
It's so pathetic.
I think you cross my mind every minute
No longer brain dead.
I break my neck to glance at you.
No spinal cord was given to me.
That's why I act like puddy when I have your body near to me.
I like this thing you do.
But boy what's your toxicity?
This feels a little like heaven.
But is it slowly killing me?
I bet you didn't know you ignite the very thrill in me.
The smile you show.
You put the very chills in me.
I don't know what you're doing.
Got me drooling all the time.
You summon the very kid in me.
Can you feel that?