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Flying the friendly skies
no peanuts as
the allergists may die

Some drinks and Dramamine
oblivious to what
the flight may mean

Landing in the land of lays
eight nights
and nine days

A lou al and a dive
soon after we

I'll see ya'll in a bit
and that's all
there is
to it
YAY! Hawaii, here I come! ;D
Roses are red.
Violets are, violet .
But blue is what they said
And I just don’t know why yet.

Roses are red.
Violets are still violet.
And don’t ever forget
That I love your, eye lid.

Roses are still red.
Oops I guess violets ARE blue ;)
(Insert something cheesy)
Cuz baby I LOVE you!
Certain people like the new Doctor Who TV show but I think It's foul.
If I had a choice between watching it and having dental surgery, I'd choose a root canal.
And rather than watching Doctor Who, I'd rather have that root canal without anesthetic.
I stopped watching the new Doctor Who because It's pathetic.
I loved the classic Doctor Who television show, it was my favorite show on TV.
And I honestly believe that the new Doctor Who has been ruined by the BBC.
If you like and want to watch the new Doctor Who, that's okay.
But If I had a Genie, I'd wish for that **** TV show to go away.
Magical and mystical
how it's done each time
warlocks witches ethereal
versed in folds and lines

The cosmic ramifications
being able to gather fold, and crease
textile machinations
will wonders ever cease?

For now I'll be content
to marvel how it's done
those with talents rare
maybe some day
I'll be one
Holy ****, there are vids out there of how to do it!
I still can't make mine right LOL ;D
Practice yielding only wrinkles
not clean, not square
not tight
Larry Cook was a crabby old ******* almost as bad as the ******* he caught and sold off the waters on Knotts Island North Carolina.

Every other morning during the season he was up at the **** ***** of dawn and on the water either pulling or baiting pots.

He worked hard, he drank even harder.

He was back at the marina went and sold his ***** paid his crew and hit the bar like clockwork.

If he made it home was never the question, now if he it made into the home most nights was.

He lived in a nice old house his neighbors thought he was a freak.
And he thought they were all a bunch of stuck up yuppie *******.

He passed out on the lawn.
But he didn't give a **** for it was his lawn to pass out on.

He sat there on his tail gate one morning after a good ******.
His next door neighbor just glared.
He cracked a beer and just laughed.

The neighbors seven year old kid walked up to him.
Larry Cook hated kids.

And they always seemed to be drawn to him for some ****** up reason .
Like a **** house cat.
Course Larry never hated ***** although that never quite seemed drawn to him like ******* kids.

The kid just stood there staring.

Larry just kept drinking his beer.

“My dad says you're a nasty old drunk.”

Larry just looked at the kid and almost laughed.

“Yeah that really hurts cause I thought me and him were always friends.”

“Really that's weird because he hates you Mr Cook.”

Larry cracked another beer.

“So what the **** you doing over here shrimp.”

Larry asked.

“I'm bored.”

“Really seems like you're also a bit ******* as well.”

“You shouldn't use that word Mr Cook its  offensive.”

Larry saw the kid’s mother step out on the front porch.
She had a look on her face as if her little bed wetter was speaking to the Devil himself.

“Well Frodo I believe you're mother wants you.”

“She thinks you're crazy.”

“Most women do.”

“She said that's why you're wife ran off and left you and cause you're a drunk.”

“Bobby stop bothering Mr Cook.”

Bobby's mother called out.

“Looks like the warden's calling kid.”

“Well Mr Cook I guess I better go.”

“Yeah **** for brains come back and visit when you can’t stay as long.”

“Mr Cook I don't think you're so bad aside from sleeping on the front yard and hating everyone.”

“Yeah thanks and tell your mother even though she’s a uptight *****, I still think she has a great *** and thanks for not drawing the blinds last night.”

The kid just looked at Larry oddly and shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay well talk to you later.”

Larry learned a lot of things from his conversation with the kid that day.

He only passed out in his back yard from there on out.

From my book .

Smoking At The Gas Pumps .

Soma Publishing
As I have moved to publication and fulltime editing I still always remember where I really first began pushing my scribbling out there .
Deborahlee Feb 7
inside my soup cup, a fly swims the backstroke,
dives from the spoon to my tongue and I choke

scream as the porcelain saucer tossed broke
and out from the waitress's eyes rises smoke

chef bombs me with eggs, curls drip yellow yolk
run as he yells slobbering ~ this cook may ******.

a guy on a bicycle falls breaking a wheel spoke,
the busboy laughs at him - the man sees no joke

red bloodshot eyes rage - he ***** slaps the bloke
pile-drives and jabs with the three stooges poke.

dogs trailing cats chasing toads in a stereo croak
stop to mark the ground but the busboy they soak

standing as the hostess throws a bottle of coke
she pegs his forehead and ricocheted glass broke

seeing the ice for his lump I jump up - then spoke
of the green head flies in the cubes gag and choke

chaos erupts - a food fight hits and flying dishes broke
police cars roll, folks scatter and I duck behind an oak.
a play on 'what's that fly doing in my soup'
As I grow older
it seems I attend more funerals
than weddings
it’s quite confusing sometimes
trying to distinguish between the two
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