Forty Russian women
Ask me every day
They beg me to friend them
On Facebook, so hey,
How come I spend
So much time all alone?
None of these Russian babes
Ever show up in my home.

They seem to be hot for me
And say such naughty things.
I have always thought that I
Wouldn't need to be a king
Or a rockstar for me to get
The attention of such chicks.
Who, me? Not even on a bet!

Yes, I friended several of these
goddesses from the steppes;
They all demanded promises
Of some very hefty tips.
While I am not a movie star
I don't look all that bad
That I have to pay for sex.
That would just be sad.

In truth I was foolishly hoping
That one of these ladies did
Want to meet someone like me
And  wondered where I was hid.
A recent Miss Moscow runner-up
That Trump had not over abused.
And here I sit with a lonely heart
Just waiting to get itself used.

So, like the fool at slot machines
I kept thinking the next would pay
And kept on reading those requests
And believing them every day.
I know there must be lovely girl
Who is looking for someone like me.
Im even studying Russian now, so
How much more perfect can I be?

What the hell happened too the ethics
morals be damned

Slimy and ethical?
Or unethical, and righteous?
It's a no win ;|

Gotta get the engine blocks
painted on the lawn
Gotta get the derelict wrecks
rearranged, by dawn
The ol double wide, re-sided
redo the roof, and shingles
Hell, she even wants
the sound of X-mas jingles
It's that time of year
here, in redneck land
Family coming to town
squattin a month, their plan
The yearly escapades
my dear love makes me do
a white trash decorating thing
she says
"or there's no sex, for you"

:D~ Mamma aint happy, aint nobody happy...

Laziness is attacking me.
We arm wrestled yesterday.

It tried to hit me with that limp wrist trick
but I slammed its hand down and broke its fingers.

I don't play that shit.

Go hard even at home.

What's wrong with a little cold?
I really enjoy it
But then again,
I'm strange, I've been told

So yes, winter is great
It's like my safe haven
Christmas, cold, snow...
There is absolutely nothing to hate

But then there are the people
The people who hate winter
They cry and complain and carry on
As if they're a child who has a splinter

There are enough warm days
Yet so little cold
Why can't there be more?
Yes, I'm strange. I've been told.

M 6d

I wish for my wish to not be granted.

Can the wish be granted, or not?


"Have you ever heard of a monster
                   that wasn't scary!!

Well our story or rather a memory of
a time way back when.
I was such a worrisome little girl.

"Daddy if the world stops will I fall off,
                             "Daddy if I pick my nose
                                        will my nostrils
                                     look like an elephants nose?

               "Daddy are monsters real,
                          "I heard one sneeze under my bed??

"My Daddy always looked at me with a smile,

You worry too much for one so young...
Let me tell you things of the world around.
If the world stopped, we'd be like balloons swimming
in the air flapping our arms,
                while the birds giggle at us for looking like clowns.

Our noses, fingers like to fill holes,
                        that's why thumbs fill that gap in your mouth,
wrinkly thumbs, with happy eyes.
So where else would wondering fingers go??
        But if you find sticky treasure, wipe it on a tissue
because even though appetizing, it'll taste totally gross...

There are monsters but not the ones you think,
           under your bed there is one who was
under daddies when he was younger.
Its name is Pickle.

                 "Pickle, daddy is he a boy or girl?

"I don't know my petal, I never asked,
                         "I think he is a little boy monster"

He is always there, you see when you sleep
there are bubbles floating around your room,
there invisible to me and you.
But pickle sees them, especially the worry bubbles,
for he doesn't want them popping on you.

So he collects them o' so gently so that you
have no worries hanging around you.
Then he uses his paws to shrink it to the
size of a ball and

                  "daddy you made me jump,

"Well that's what they go, but only quietly,
As he eats with his mouth closed,
             even monsters have manners you know.
So if you ever go to bed worrying my baby,
don't ever think you need to keep it in,
speak to mummy or daddy.
But if you still are worried Pickle will be
there for you to watch those bubbles and
he'll always take them away..
And what noises do they make when he
chews them with mouth closed?
                             ­        "Pop,

Now close your eyes my petal and don't
worry monsters are real,
but there only there to look after you and me.

for my daughter :)

The cops, they couldn't see it
but she did, right away
the perp had a small problem
a virtual cock toupee

Overflowing tress', pubic
like a Farah Fawcett wig
poking out his zipper
hiding all, that wasn't big

So ware the sexts you send
and don't mistype receiver
sending hairy cock pics
making the ladies gasp
and a hirsute prick, believer


I was at the store the other day and this lady came up to me, and asked if I had a light, I told her that she could find that in aisle eight, and that I didn't work there, and then I farted.

I don't wear my red polo shirt anymore in Target ;D~

A man spoke to me today,
On the train home from work,

He reached for my hands,
Carelessly, as if it were natural,
His were leather, rough,
With grinning eyes,
And tired lips,
He spoke,

    I am a penguin.

Now, I thought, that was odd,
But who am I to judge?
So I remained patiently quiet.

    I am a penguin,
     With my tattered suit,
      I care for my young-
       And for my mate,
        Whom I love deeply.

How sweet, I thought,
That he could care so much,
But what is the point?

    I am a penguin,
     The stone I got my wife-
      Was the shiniest on the beach,
       And I braved seals,
        For her, I am enough.

Now, that's adorable,
But his hands were firm,
And sweaty,
Leave me alone, my eyes asked.

    I am a penguin,
     But I tire of it,
      And perhaps for a moment,
       I'd rather be a dolphin,
        And swim away, with you...

But sir,
I said,
Do you know what I am?

    No, why?

        I am obsidian,
       Dark, hard, sharp,
      Forged in the fires of chaos,
     And if you hold me without care,
    I'll cut a bitch.

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