Hey there, Blue Apron,
We need to talk.
Come into my office.
Have a seat, big shot.
No no no, this time it isn’t
About all the pots.
Although those are an issue.
For sure. There’s just a lot.
Today I’d like to chat with you
About your clock.
Do you own one? Have you seen one?
You’ve heard a “tick tock?”
That’s confusing because you say here
The Glazed Chicken with Apricot
Should take 25 minutes.
But I can assure you, it does not.
I spent half an hour
Just giving the shallots a chop.
Not to mention mincing ginger
And making the chicken stock.
Maybe if I had a team of sous chefs
Or ran a kitchen sweatshop,
I’d get this shit done,
In 25 minutes tops.
So, while it pains me, Blue Apron,
I’ve given it some thought,
And I have to let you go.
This really needs to stop.
Because I simply have no more patience,
For this Glazed Chicken with Apricot.