wherever men gather
there is the hierarchy of deceit
there are those that know
those that think they know
and the sucker
who's the **** of the joke

wherever men gather
there is the hierarchy of the beast
there are those that rule
those that think they're in charge
and those who shelter in the shadow
of all of the above

wherever men gather
there is a code
wherever men gather
high or low
never to tell the secrets
they all know

these are my coward shoes
we have walked many a mile
leaving trouble behind
unafraid to lose

they are comfortable and warm
with a slight smell of deceit
to be a coward you lie
keeping your happy feet

I think
What breaks my heart the most
Isn't the abuse,
It isn't the lies, or the
Gaslighting,
No,
It's probably the fact
That you'll never see us
The way I did.

We could never have been
Because you never
Ever
Wanted it to be.

Some things I will not say
I will not form those words
Lest they be heard
Lest they be believed
and the truth of self
be known.

No, some things I will not say
I'll keep their silence
Keep my distance
and stay quiet
safe on this side
of my deceit.

Itsy bitsy spider
crawling in deceit
along came the truth
and stomped it with its feet

Down came the shoe
and squashed it’s organs out
splat like a web of lies
it’s bits all about

Fight fire with water
Not with fire

Who would do that?

Apart from those
investing in ashes
Reaping from rapes
Taking from trauma
Gaining from guns
Winning from wars
Paying the ferryman
under the table

Who would do that?

Comfort's embrace is
false and choking.
The masses gag in
their sleep, subdued
by its silken constraints.

Decoupled from my conscience of subjective discernment
The necessity for personal authority over impulse
Vs an instantly gratifying road to distraction
Journey of wilful blindness
Consequential destination deferred
But upon arrival lies the choices
To decouple, To adjourn
Or to confront the demons towards which my back I have turned
Self-romanticised truths to whom before I have spoken
Yet despite a colourful history our personal promises lay broken
Under the rug
Etched into the bottom of a bottle
A chasing of tails
Ignorance long forgotten
A cycle indeed
But of downward trajectory
Gratefully, the bottom of which yet to be met by me
But somehow graced by others
With stronger character than I
A slippery *****
An exponential decent
Over which I now maintain a watchful eye