I stand between myself and this constant struggle
it goes on in my mind without end,
when you sit before the mirror and see
you're not always the one but that just might depend.

I can once be allowed to rest these bones,
true talent comes from getting back up
even when you fallen and you're alone.

It's this path I'm on, it twists and turns.
When I'm sad does it not show?
Tomorrow? It's faster than the speed of light,
Past is still here yet I'm well beyond anyone's sight.

You get lost in truth or fiction and decree
it's following you though it'll always be the one
to let me be. I'm here in the shadows yet
you see me aware-you got me caught in the
hatred-lost in a path that isn't fair.

If only we had tomorrow, a million tomorrows!
I would sing to the sun and breeze that yesterday
would become a mystery and I could still keep all my
memories! But tomorrow never changes from today.

I guess that's what they all know-once it comes to the end
of the play...

Add your spit to my ocean, it's a game,
inherited from the ancestors
who added value, shipped worth as far as
worth was
reasonable,
this is worth that, and so on
until I decide to add a little shine
on mine,
I shine you on and say I'll keep both.

-watchew mean you think I said
I'll keep your attention, but I'll not pay ye mine.

-run the BG attention economy
we are the world we wanna buy a Coke®
for for for the whole world, like
flash falfash iony meme you remember, taste each
memory verse, did you
think
words un-accounted for go idle?
Dear reader, done is done, the reading activates the will
to know all things, or die trying…
- facing lies as the evil, not as dragons, nor bogus science,
- since hubris lets me say I know
Yes, each lessoning of the pre-surity
piled on children intended to be
us until we are old and grey,
the unnecessary extras, in the casts of thousands,
now digitally cloned in a virtual reality we can
live in, really,
we can live and breathe and have our being
in any bubble informed after
the sufficiency of evil declaration- simplification,

**** happens, and that's not evil.
What you do with what passes through you,
gut level wrestlings with ifery wasery failures
fallen angels, lame ideas, used
to manifest
the Manichaean evil that ate Tim McVeigh…

thank God, I did not pull the trigger,
and I am glad the other guy
did not die…

by killing the I instilled in the mind of a warrior,
2021 PS5, no jive,
meet me after school.

It's cool, this cyberspace superthoughttrain,
global brain, working on
behalf
bewhole be all you may imagine
on behalf of the priesthood of programmers
the guild of data gathering slave owners,
bit-coin level carbon footprints,

lo, look at those foot prints in the sand,
there went a bare foot boy,
see,
see the softest sand where the ants expand the way home
year after year in the desert, from here
to Tucumcari .

Ease your mind Jung-man, remember who the hero was,
he who survived
the making of the peace,
the institution of wisdom in the nick of time,
first mark
before ever the earth was or even the initial Higgs field
expansion,
an after thought, wisdom,
a primal
need for anything to matter, it turns out.

When my foolishness
Turned into wisdom
I was in love

Even the sunset
By the evening
Held my flaws

There was certainly no way
I could have left
Without a burning heart

Went to bed with despair on mind
Wondered of how the world could be this blind
Reckless action leading to messed up consequences
Life's road taking me to the plot holes and mazes

I closed my eyes, picturing a "happy world"
Where I'd somehow be aspired to become bold.
In that world, I'd long for someone dear
To keep me safe and eliminate all my fear.

Someone who'd love me for me to the core
Who'd stand by my side, never asking for more
Who'd help me go for the life's biggest leap
And with that thought on mind, I went to sleep.

Woke up the next day with my mother's face in view
That's just how early she gets up, this was nothing new
I rush for the classes, meanwhile my breakfast is ready
She puts the lunchbox in, her movement's yet so steady.
She ushered me out with a kiss like it's her job everyday
Waved at me like a child, as if I was going far away.

And it was on my way when I recalled,
How foolish was I?
Because in this world it was just her
For me who would die.
The world that I've been dreaming of
Was nothing compared to this
And oh the things I'd be willing to do
Just for my mother's kiss.

When you are sad,
   you choose to be happy.
When you are poor,
   you choose to be rich.
When you are weak,
   you choose to be strong.
When you are friendless,
   you choose unseen spirits.

When you are not,
   you have no choice but choose.
Any fool can choose,
   and only the strong can fight.
But only the brave and wise,
   surrender and not live a lie.
And when you are dead,
   you cannot choose life.

I pray when all is beyond my wits and my strength
I pray when the little I can buy exceeds all my money
I pray when fathers, friends and lovers failed me
I pray to entities I know not, even of imagination and belief

I pray knowingly that strangers, human or ethereal,
     are not obligated to me, even if I begged them
I pray knowingly that I have no wisdom to know
     what to ask, but only that seemingly good for now

I pray unknowingly if these powerful inhuman beings
     can read my mangled incoherent thoughts
I pray unknowingly if the formulated rituals of my ancients
     of magic, prostrations and sacrifices are effective

I 'll be thankful to gods, demons, angels and even men
     for a blessing is a blessing, and any help, is help indeed
I'll be careful not to be entrapped into constant gratitude
     but only to constantly build my wits, strength and money

Innocence
So small, so pure
Tender and mature,
Yet somehow
Lacking

Innocence
A child at heart
From others, so far apart
Unaware of the placement of words
Giving an entirely separate meaning

Innocence
So small, so pure
Mind secure
Despite attempts to tamper
With the delicate camper
In a woods of magic

Innocence
A child at heart
Ready to play the part
Yet, is it true
Through this hazy view?

Innocence
So scarce in these times
Foolish with these rhymes
Interpreted and tainted
But unaware of such
Picture painted
A gentle touch
On the shoulder
Whisper of explaining
Drop of a boulder…

- Jay M
October 28th, 2019