there's a few things I'd like to say,
you know in the honesty of full disclosure
given my moral stance is kind of made that way,
and so you can't say later that I glossed things over.
It'll only take a minute...
just to set the record straight
so we both can agree I behaved abominably
that is if it's not already too late
and I've ruined our relationship utterly .
Okay, so it's already more than a minute...
but I'll get to the point I promise
I want to get things right if this is my final chance
There'll be no more excuses, honest,
It can all be explained as a circumstance.
One minute? Please, just a minute...
Or some cooling-off time perhaps
I can ring you... yes, maybe that would be best
I can text you with some of the facts
And then call you to fill in the rest.
Half a minute then, let's say a half...
We can't just leave it like this
This is Us ! We've got to be in it to win it !
We could write it all down and make lists
Let's just think things through for a minute...
I really, really... I didn't mean it...
I feel a bit more lost
Each day I don't see your face
Not hearing your voice
I feel outta place
I wish I knew
Some magic word
To ease your mind
Take away your hurt
In my heart
You burrowed deep
I wanted nothing more
Than you safe to keep
You should never feel
Like you're second best
You're an awesome girl
Unique among the rest
I'm sorry a thousand times
That I didn't make this more clear
You're a precious soul
To me very dear
hindsight is 20/20
and all i can see is you.
Sometimes I make mistakes,
In reality I make a lot of them,
But sometimes I look back
And I realize that maybe, that’s what I needed.
It's been long enough now
And enough has been said
Apologies and forgiveness passed back and forth
Like folded middle school notes
Yet here I am
"Ouch, I just bit my cheek."
As I let my rods and cones
Lies and smoke
The electrons radiating from my
Squared, glowing palm
And attempt to release stagnant regret
As my mouth fills with the taste
"Whoops, I just hurt my own feelings."
When the smoke hits my eyes
Eyes then close
I left long before I last saw you
And your siren memory calls to me
A beckoning to a reckoning
Smoke billows and stings
Like the memories of what never happened
Memories of maps you drew
Guiding me to my next destination
I forgot where I had been
I regret my lack of sight
Perhaps the smoke was in my eyes
That is why
I am brawn personified
The blood of Hercules, Samson, faded memories of ancient Titans flowing through my vessels
No obstacle can slow me
No wall can break my stride
Running - jumping - crawling
I can get past it all
Constant running begets strains
Repeated jumping begets sprains
Crashing through barriers beget lacerations and fractures
Pivot to look at the destruction left behind
Now look at the road ahead
Plenty of pitfalls still to avoid
Walls have been fortified
A simple ladder can climb the wall
A plain shovel can dig under the barrier
A machete can cut a path around the brambles
But I chose the sledgehammer
Sprinting from the starting line
And left everyone behind at the first hurdle
I've spent a life of putting out fires. Nothing has ever been as important as getting past this problem in order to get to the next. In the meantime, I left behind every single relationship through negligence and stubbornness. It is ok to ask for help sometimes.
Sentimental longing or a late sense of understanding,
I stand at the fork in the road.
Looking down two paths,
Each one burdened with obstacles and hindrance.
Do I travel alone through the frosted canopy, snowy trail in sight?
Do I follow her through darkened woods, regardless of the end?
Once I have chosen, how will I ever know what is right?
There are two paths, neither has any appeal.
Both require the past be put to rest.
I simply cannot leave my memories stood forever unsettled,
Alone at a fork in the road.
But, allowing them to either side requires decisions,
Which I am unwilling to make.
To **** three years of my life to being a lesson learned,
Seems an awful waste of my time.
To romanticize three years of painful growth,
Seems a waste of my intellect.
just me casually questioning my trans experience! **** im in hell
i am so sorry
because it wasn’t your fault—
it was set to fail
for your words really did help—
i just could not see
though you did not see
the thoughts requiring this,
i know them all once.
to me: i’m sorry
i did not push away lies
so they were believed.
my faults i now see in hindsight and give an unknowingly deserved apology.