How little men control
Their own destinies.
At a lost,
As to my internal monologue,
In a deluge of constant questioning.
And as to the control I do command,
With what to, is done?
As to the destiny I am ******,
Is it better to dither from forver, hitherto?
Or slaughter fear, and give anxiety the rub.

close your blinds
i can see in
close your eyes
i can feel them
and when i look inside
you seem to hide
so close them
off to me
off to the world
and shut us all out
if you have to
i'm here though

Civility for civilty's sake
Do you laugh to feel,
Work to wake?
Is there a person there real?
Or, are you too fake?

Laissez-faire and free,
Nothing bothers me in
Bohemian living.

Fruit fresh plucked,
On the grass with the bees
Relaxing and eating.

Read a play, finish a novel
See what's up with sister
See what's up with father

Laissez-faire and free,
Why are you so worried
That I'm not worrying?

Cerulean;
How I shall never find myself
So fortunate an opportunity
As to see the clouds part.
But I still hope they do

what is it to be 40
twice the man, you were at twenty?
four times the man, you were at ten?
is it being wiser
and having your means meet the end?
finances sured up?
with no need, for to be the miser
a divorce or some
perhaps a strong marriage
polyamorous loves
to your heart's desire
addictions? vices? troubles stifling?
death breathing down your neck
to the thumping of your heartbeat
beads of sweat, gather
and run off your chest
like your shoes on the concrete
you are dying
even while you're living
and you know one day
it'll be your last
cause we only get so long
and time goes fast
a baby is born
the next afternoon
an old man is buried
tomorrow could never come
would you ever know it?

Who the ****, and why.
The owner of the eye
Can answer my question,
Whoever it is that's watching;
Stop wasting your time

his teeth were rotted out
but he left no time
for regret
for there is no regress
from the state he finds himself in

how it had come to this
boy, he didn't know
fervent drug use
frequenting their misuse
forget it
for tomorrow, is another day for worry

humbled by his lack of knowledge
beset, on knowing's acquisition
further than the last day
faster too
father lost himself to his ambition

Why does no one trust that I am wise?
When my words are rarely argued,
And I rarely use them to argue.
Only to show truth where there is lie.
And, by my own device, I have
The strength to allow the decision
Not to be brought, but arrived.
I only want you to look at what I see, if
You view and disagree,
Then we both learn something.
That I was wrong, and
You were right.

Be the recluse,
Be the hermit,
And make your assessments of others
Based on short and fleeting interaction,
Drenched in the sweat of "purpose" & "agenda,"
And be met with statements
Which really convey nothing and rarely
Encapsulate honest thought in brevity
But are said only to end the conversation.
Close knit,
The threads choke,
Living your turtleneck life.
No collar to be turned up,
The cotton already hugs your throat;
Nothing to end abrupt,
That which never saw its start.
Those who talk
Simply to hear themselves,
Do they have anything to say?
Those with the blinders on,
They never see the entrance ramp
Neither the turn-offs
Till it's too late.

Can you call?

When voices are lost,
And nothing but silence echoes

Truly, it is too much-
To love with your all, it takes a cost
At the expense of yourself, you let go

Rear cheek,
And rob the moment of any frost,
Recompense, in word and not wound

What a world it could be,
If we weren't so self consumed.

wait for the waft
of familiar scents
to speak to you
stealing you away,
nostalgia

a sight been seen
touches you felt
a noise you heard
a scent been smelt

kismet's coincidence

Just like all the nepotism today,
Narcissism is wildly popular-
In fact, it's good.
You should only care for yourself,
Forget about any platonic love for others
What use can you derive from them?

Roaming the rolling sapphire,
Thoughts of home & the bereaved.
Under tide they sink.
Spit back into that grand basin,
Give a good greeting to Poseidon,
Lift up your cup & drink;
To the fathoms we eclipsed,
The journey facing.
** & heave,
Waves crash against the hull
Letting on water;
I've never much cared for
Admitting defeat in the presence
Of overwhelming odds,
I'd rather die on my feet
Bravely meeting the Gods

Don't die on a hill
You are really only familiar with,
By name.

All the same,
Life is our own to live.

If you choose to lead it
With half-thought ideas;
You have only yourself to blame.

Call me an animal,
Don't stand between me
And a fresh cut of meat

Hard to believe, we're the same mammal
In a stand-off, with one who bleeds
But not like me

Of that same air
Our lungs take in, we both breathe in
Scents of a different breed

**** your homogenies
Don't need a lecture on my biology
And you can keep your philosophy
If it comes from a book riddled with prophecy

Wicked kind of dichotomy.
In a country that pushes for peace
But funds war,
Who is it for?

Not the ones fighting
Not the ones dying

why are you there
and not by my side
sharing my bed
slide inside
my head
and make yourself at home
pick me apart
dissect, and use my tendons
your marionette man

"Life is cheap,"
Said strong to weak.
"Wrong is right,"
Spoke rich to meek.
"Do none, hear none - nor speak, or see."
Evil said to divinity.
And we wonder why, when then
We do speak, that
No one seems to be listening.

i'll stay poor
if being rich
means being chained to my misery
it's a mystery
why the wealthy
aren't very healthy
mentally fit
and lack the capacity for kindness
is there a blindness
forced upon you past a certain cap
or is it the ever widening gap
between joe schmoe and the fat cats

The stork flew today,
High on over the valley;
A beautiful dream

festering like the fungus on rotting fruit
moulded to the shadow



torn from it
motion making it's stop
the flatline
an event horizon
        and   i  
  looked


blank became the canvas
as existence shrunk from view
and i saw it all;
and it was glorious

but the curtains were closing
momentary was the sight bestowed
which fleeted faster than life
from this withering device of animation

elapsing back to nothing
a fade to black

Crazy, crazy, crazy.
It is tiring trying to tackle this Q stuff,
From a first person perspective.
All this far out quasi side-history,
Drenched in hate of every kind.
Divisive as all hell,
A kind of game within itself
To distance us from each other more
Rather than bring us close.
Together we stand, divided we fall
In on ourselves as like
A house of cards

Persons who, not agreeing with you,
Will tell you, your perspective is wrong.
That lived experience,
Has clouded your lense of reality.
But they offer no real difference
Nothing so substantive
As to say,
Mine is fixed
And based in a place
Of true, unbiased rationality.

the next time i dream
i want to remember i'm dreaming
so i can soar
so i can fly
and alter its reality to my vision
to terraform the mind
but who says you must take the reigns,
there's lucidity to you now,
but must you wrestle control?

to the man donned in black
to the woman with no spine
and a broken back
you work in slumber
with eyes unopened
to life's beauty
you have only spoken
brief talks betwixt dreams
stiffened, when awoken
of thoughts that linger a ways away
in a land of virtue
reminiscent of tolkien

People talk, more than I.
I am ashamed of my past,
And confused about my life.
Where the history, of many lineages
Is well-described:
I am unaccustomed with mine.
What I know, of right & of wrong,
Is it predicated on the rule of the weak
By that of the strong?
The gaze thus glares from my eyes,
Does it live in black & in white?
Does bruised fruit still grow ripe?

Without exception,
Nary a day passes
Where you don't dwell
In thoughts, on my mind;
Nothing so sets on this mental landscape,
The days only combine.
Two planets in the sky,
There's the star & the moon
And all the buffer in between-
Like the ache I have for you
And all that prevents me
From wanting any remedy.
Another repeat in the alphabet,
***

I stalk through the dark hallways
Drifting through remnants of a sun.
Spirals into vortexes, cascading shafts of light on
Brief transits inward, where time falters.
Forces push & pull and all around
The tide of the cosmos envelopes me,
Wading through the static sea
Waves come in crashing-
Laughter, screams
And yet, no sound escapes the vacuum

What will the horizon bring us?
I wonder,
Can you feel my heart?
In dawns of days gone,
In coming eves of twilight;
When I said
I shall always love you,
I meant it.
And days now start
Within a sky where there is no sun,
Within the dark of night, no stars;
Inside of me there is light
All formed from the memories
Of two kids in love, young.
Spiderwebs still entrap
Yet the venom is tapped-
How I wish I was still poisoned.

relationships
are water on the rock
erosion
rust on iron
corrosion
a match to nitroglycerin
explosions
it's love undeniable
minor indiscretions unbeknownst to you
picked apart
it's having someone reliable
to leave you stranded and alone in your moments dark
joy undescribable
when you're stabbed in the heart

no more guesses
not another assumption
you tell me what's on your mind
let me know what you need to function
but i just can't grasp at straws any longer
you let me know
when you're feeling stronger

What man under modernity, is free?
Comparative to the peasantry preceding
We must seem to be
Shackled to a strange form
Of self-induced slavery

I cry at your confusion, truly.
I cannot see what you see,
Why we can not live together
As one people, free.
But tears dry before they fall,
Because I refuse to tend sadness.
Madness? Call it what you will,
If everyone thought as I did
We would be living in peace and harmony.
But, isn't that always the case?
Still I stake, hope and dreams
On the good naturedness of humanity
Because that is what we truly are
That is the core to our being, for
It is in your belief that gives such things life
And the first man did not rise to strike another
But to reach higher up the vine
To protect his young
To share in the gifts granted by the father of lights, these stars that fuel
Mother nature, who cannot stop giving
Even if it were her will,
And it is not. Because she loves you
Even if you do not reciprocate.
That love, unconditional;
Where man can learn.

If I can not foster respect from you
In action and in word;
If nothing is ever good enough for you
My respect, you haven't earned.
If you cannot accept me as I am,
You are the problem.
Because I am only human

Why people see potential in me
When I feel I am so empty,
And unworthy of warmth,
I cannot conceive

How fortunate I can claim to be
Of the love I have received
That has been held in reserve
For far too many

And it starts with you and I,
Cause I've got love to share
And you can help yourself
Till you've got enough,
Cause I care

If you need a hand,
That's something I can lend
If you walk shoeless
You can have the ones I wear
Forgo crumbs, break off a piece of my bread

What price is too high, for a just world that's fair?

the voyage of innumerable miles
furnished strength, of a thousand sails
guiding each yonder the reach
off to a boundless expanse
of the new tomorrow

in countenance
with arms outstretched
to tolerate contentment
to acclimate to the average
and want for far less
smiling

Simulated tastes
Emulated face
Of a careless faker

Think in haste,
Take and you take,
Living life as if it were a race

What will you say, when you meet your maker?

A hitchhiker
On the interstate of love.
It seems,
I am always hanging my thumb out
Searching for something real.
Anything real.
In what seems to me,
A very sad and ingenuine world.
Just as I thought I'd found meaning.
And for those I have loved,
Those I have left, or have gone from me
Was it your or I?

The want to be free.

compatriots, let your voices sing
like an unchecked choir
let words be the pitfalls
your opposition face
and in their fall from grace
at attempts to smear you
hold to each of them
those things that endear you
for a friend is but a stranger
that met you on a good day
with a bright disposition
and an enemy
is simply
someone you've not really met yet

Ever change?

I need a connection,
That was true. But,
Something in your inflection
Hints at misdirection,
Reeks of lies.

You don't want me, psychically
It's no longer frustration,
But more so consternation, over
What I feel I must do

With no choice

Mute, but you hate my tongue
And cringe every time you hear my voice.
Displacement, over all
You can place it on me

And if I leave,
Like you are absent,
Will you be like me?
Left, wanting.

No