I get paranoid after throwing up my fears the night before, intoxication comes easy when you’re lost in the worries of not being enough. The whispering from my nightmares become real, their faces distort in disgust when they look at me and the weight of terror eats me alive.
This smoke screen A ruse to throw me off This staunch scent I can barely breathe Words fail me Paranoid and wary Oh, how easily i'm deceived
Like a sucker to the yellow kid, I'm enthralled in this illusion You conceal your intentions artfully, A gracious gift You beguile me I'm helpless to your control Oh, how easily i'm deceived
Your front is peace-loving Yet, i know no peace and love has eluded me Neither impatient nor angry But this rod on my neck tells a different story Still, your smile charms me Oh, how easily i'm deceived
The role naive suits you A befitting cloak for your bland tales An unrepentant rogue Harmless and banal You lure me Oh, how easily i'm deceived.
As the time Ticks quickly, leaving me behind Situations I would hate always came to mind White noise chased me even in my dreams A parasite eating my mental stability.
I ran and ran till I was out of breath but I knew I cant escape reality, I don't know what's coming next I want to ask for help but there's nothing to say the only one who could help me is myself anyways
to think I myself is the cause of this torture many sleepless nights and fearful slumber thoughts ran, repeatedly whispering "you should say I love you before sleeping"
I'm concerned and confused for feeling like this there really isn't a good reason why I grew up healthy, and I really didn't have a problem but I still ended up getting tied
I mustn’t speak or the monsters will creep I must’ve bled they sent vultures to keep I wish i could speak about what my mind leaks bury my eyes under my cheeks they sneak a creak i am too scared to peek i wish i could speak of all that i fear but my voice i cant hear and so i disappear theres a knock at the door my heart hits the floor my back against the wall i still feel someone behind there is someone in my mind this room'ss key i can't find everyone lied, i must hide the flower that died and the child abide though her spine spiked with sharp edges and still! she mustn’t speak.
A tick on a clock, And a fallen vail of another affair My mind melted watching trying to unlock, I hold my head as if it was to pop off With every tick my stomach feels sick, Eyes so weary, Soul so dreary This agony, Caused my heart vessel to stretch, pump and rush to survive. My mind is upside down, My room is a ghost town And i seem to be the clown, laughter is their fairground They pick a choose my every move, And when i disapprove My sanity they assured me will be removed
Well you lend me an ear? It will take up maybe an hour of ur life But lets not think about time Maybe if i am quite you’ll be able to hear But please listen, cant bare another tear If you dare do stare U don’t wanna give them a scare Will you lend an ear and a mind to spare? Will we ever really know what’s welfare? Prepare to go nowhere I always get side tracked But my mind is packed It has been hacked Its all abstract Lets extract my brain and inspect To see places they neglect And inject the potion of prefect intellect Dont forget my mind was set to reject It means no disrespect But it just disconnects trapped Strapped Slashed But who gives a **** if your depressed? Doesn’t matter if words were expressed! eyes crawling up the walls Back and forth through the halls
For me, feeling paranoid and manic together feels like seeing glimpses and feeling the presence of creatures from a parallel world. I like to think a small invisible fairy visits me and flutters around my head annoyingly, making me **** my head around and see frightening things that disappear in a flash. Even in the calm comforting solitude of my own bedroom :D