my gut feeling was never wrong—
and the ellipsis on dad's text,
my mom's joke on divorce,
for too long
Trust was never a option
But were there any options to begin with?
The paranoia is real, the cake is not
Now and then I catch a glimpse
Of a shadow or piece of a thing
Alive but terrifying to reminisce.
Now and then I sense
The presence of some being
Closing in on my ears and neck.
Now and then I feel a tap
On my shoulder or my head from the back.
Surrounded by too many
Where did you go?
But to an audience that doesn’t know
I'm alert, though in isolation
and completely alone.
For me, feeling paranoid and manic together feels like seeing glimpses and feeling the presence of creatures from a parallel world. I like to think a small invisible fairy visits me and flutters around my head annoyingly, making me **** my head around and see frightening things that disappear in a flash. Even in the calm comforting solitude of my own bedroom :D
They’re talking about me
They hate me
If I was gone
They’d easily replace me
The voices in my head
Want me to feel nothing but dread
I know it is untrue
Yet I believe it too
All this emptiness inside
I can't fill the void in my mind
Sometimes I just wanna die
Wish that I could tell you why
Is it all inside my head?
I just can't escape the noise
Is it all inside my head?
I think I'm paranoid
How many nights you've been
Turned and tossed in the confines of your sheets
So the lunacy of your nightmares
Won't push you in the world of insanity
Who are you to tell me
what I can write about?
If my soul needs to shout,
it will do just that.
Try to get a life, and stop
reading my poetry.
You weren't supportive
of it when we were
together, don't criticize it
while we are apart.
If you really want to read
something, try the
I just had a friend die,
and you haven't asked once
how I'm doing.
I've found rabid raccoons
kinder than you.
I know I'm home and I'm not alone
sick inside cuz the wounds at the bone my friend
such a strange feeling getting to me
I contradict every thought that I have
A special friend blending words in my head
Secret to the trend is make everything feel threatening
Driving through the fog with my brights on
As the lights pass by I get mystified
I'm too big for the room I'm in
Am I wrong or maybe it's actually my skin
I'm going to rip apart this reality
and peel back the shades that have came to cover me
Staring out like I'm in a cell
In and out like a raging swell
I can say that I'm happy with the ones I love
Though I'm scared to go outside and lose comfort in the shelter
Lurking "smile-for-me" bullies
(similar to haiku)