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M C Sep 5
The devil I am already had a pitchfork
and eagerly took up the torch.
My black heart was pitch
too ready for a scorch.

My insidious nature should not be touched.

I groped through the dark for something
to clutch. I looked for kindness
and found too much.  
A bonfire for the ******.
A blaze to cause blindness.
No eyes of love could behold that funeral pyre
but with scarred fingers I felt the fire.

Surrounded by broken screams
I hear my mind’s seams rip
and all I’m left with is reams of blank pages.
In one hand, rolled tightly is a fresh white beacon.
I reach out to shake with my other as I put another lover
in this mechanism for my massacre of the ages.
Ylzm Sep 5
Truth trampled
Lies reigned
Beauty usurped
Vulgarity valued

Turning not the other cheek
but kills to assert the right to ****
Power not to curb lawlessness
but to empower lawlessness

The soul tormented
In ashes and sackcloth
A voiceless silent cry cries
all day and all night

The day descends
inexorably into darkness
But for the sliver of moon
there is no reason to hope

The spirit awaits the dawn
sushii Sep 1
stomach twists in pure fear
i’ve had enough people for a year
feel their eyes burning into me
rather leave you for soul deceit

alone and focused on
i feel so far gone
i want to scream
i want to wake up from this dream

i think i look stupid
i don’t think i feel worth it
hoping for someone to take the blame
of the loneliness left untamed

will they see me write this?
can i justify this?
i just want a friend to sit down with
i don’t need a hug or a kiss

i want to go home
i want to say no
trapped in obligations
sadness in mitigation

maybe i should say something
but it might disturb something
how are you?
good, i’ve got something to do

come watch my misery
from a comfortable bird’s eye view
Em MacKenzie Jul 29
My head in my bed doesn’t work quite right
I’m awake until I break, day and night.
With the voices and the choices that I wish to expel
and the deepest of the secrets I could never tell.

My brain; a stain inside my prisoned skull,
I sharpen it, spear from stick, but it’s too dull.
With the facts free, how they trap me, but I never tried to run away,
my feet sore, a path I’ve taken before, but could never stay.

The ivory teeth chomping away at my sleep,
in vain I try to get high, but I’m just too deep.
With the last of my past that I try to forget,
so I reprise a sunrise but it becomes a sunset.

My head in my bed doesn’t work quite right
what will it take for me to break and appreciate the light?
I rejoice in the choices that I can’t repel,
and the cheapest of the secrets of how I fell.
I hope you lie awake at night because falling asleep in a bed without me in it feels so wrong.
sleep feels impossible because you know you can’t take back the daggers you spit or heal the cuts you slashed into my skin.
The blood you spilled tumbled down onto the ground and my screams you once ignored now haunt you.
I hope you lie awake at night and understand what you did, and mourn the loss of me in your life.
Breon Jul 15
The summer sun's an auger drilling deep
To sap my will and hasten my decline,
And by the time night falls, I'll pray for sleep.
From when its faintest rays begin to creep
Beyond the long horizon's boundary line,
The summer sun's an auger, drilling deep.
When morning comes, I'll buy my living steep,
But living wilts me 'till I can recline
And by the time night falls, I'll pray for sleep
As if I died, as if I'd get to keep
The scrapings that I'd earned, as if they're mine.
The summer sun's an auger, drilling deep.
Each moment sowing seeds I'll never reap
Comes twisting down around my brain and spine -
And by the time night falls, I'll pray for sleep.
All wisdom, wits, and words ring hollow, cheap,
Some wilted offerings at a broken shrine.
The summer sun's an auger, drilling deep,
And by the time night falls, I'll pray for sleep.
Carl Halling Jul 7
Oh! With what unspeakable anguish
Do I regret the vocation
I came so close
And so oft to having
The sweet acclamation
That might have been mine.

Had I tried and failed,
That would scarcely concern me,
Yet, I squandered my resources
Time and time again,
And failed so unnecessarily,
That is what so torments me.

I only wish I could contemplate
More than a mere handful
Of past achievements with pride
And satisfaction,
But even this paltry compensation,
Remains stubbornly beyond me.

Oh! With what unspeakable anguish
Do I regret the vocation
I came so close
And so oft to having
The sweet acclamation
That might have been mine.
'Oh! With What Unspeakable Anguish' almost certainly dates from late May 2019, when it was conceived in a state of genuine anguish (as clearly evidenced by the piece’s title), related to my past; although this has since faded, so that I don’t feel it so intensely at the time of writing, viz., a little under two months after it assumed its final shape on the 16th.
Why am I crying
am I an unemotional wreck  
Something wounds me
Deep hurt
Lingering pain.
Can't stop theses  tears running down my cheeks.
A crashing of waves
Thundering in my heart.
Roaring of break down in relationships.
Overwhelming fear.
of unexpected.
Deep sense of not knowing we're theses emotions arise from.
You might have locked them away in a cupboard.
Until a event somewhere something triggers them off.
Then you have to face that heartache.
and let go of the wound
So that the scab can heal.
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