CPM 12h

how dare you
place the photo of the lady
you claim to love
down for the night
just to satisfy
your sexual and emotional needs
your lady is worth more
than placing her aside
and keeping her away to see.

- you hide her with confidence

CPM

emotions at peak
decisions at risk
in one sec,
love falters at no bliss

you spiral through
every wrong corner of your madness
lies start to slither
tongue to tongue
coursing
love-abundant trunks

in spite of
wreathing selfishness and apathy
in spite of
disintegrating pieces of your body
your fallout―
backbone ceasing to give support

you were able
to see through the darkness
surrounding your consciousness
lest,
no other soul shall
and will be
annihilated by
another part of thee

and so,
stop blaming me

―a.t.

Cobalt 2d

If you're going to be a child,
Then put me down.
I am not a toy, much less yours.
So go on,
play games with someone else.

nd 6d

"maybe i’m stupid.”

oh child, you are!

when you were small all you knew was screaming and so you did it constantly, and you kept me up all night when in the morning i had work and eventually i screamed back from my room, but you didn’t care and that was stupid. i had to hold your hand as you walked because you couldn’t do it by yourself, you tripped over your own tiny feet and shat in your pants and that was stupid. you told your uncle he looked black after he’d gotten a spray tan and child that was stupid, but what does stupid got to do with anything now? stupid is an excuse, and when you left him he used it too, holding back stupid tears saying it was so stupid of him but he’ll never do it again, just like your father did before the little rat was ever a thought in his own father’s head. forget him, because he’s stupid too, and focus on yourself, you who clawed your way out of my womb, lit me on fire and burnt me up till i was the sun. scream some bloody murder again if you need to, it's been years since i've heard your voice caught in hysterics. let it crack in anger, dummy, come on, didn't i raise you to be mad?

"of course you aren't stupid," just like i'm not a liar.

Echo Floating Nov 14

I really like you

Whispered in my ear
Murmured into my hair
Nuzzled into my neck

But always their eyes roved

Over my shoulder
Hunting for the next
girl to chase in text

I am never enough
For anyone
To stop
To say

I found you

Her Nov 11

i spent months and months asking myself
why was i not enough for you

was i not thin enough?
was i not pretty enough?
did you want me to change my hair color?
did i laugh too  much?
was my voice too annoying?
were my thighs too big?
was i not smart enough?
was i not domestic enough?
was i not wild enough?
did i not drink enough?
did i not smoke enough?
was i not careless enough?

395 days of me waking up each morning
and having these questions flood my brain
until i fell into bed and everything went black
only when my eyes shut for a few hours
would these questions stop

it has been 395 days of pure hell inside my brain
but i am learning now that it is not that i was not enough
i was too much

i gave you too much love
too much laughter
too much adventure
too much of everything you wanted
that you took complete advantage of

i will be okay

i hope you're happy where ever you are now

we'll all be okay
David M Harry Nov 10

I won’t say anything to you
about cheating on me because
we both know when I'm through
crying I'm not going anywhere.
I’ll just wipe the residue
of promises and embers
from my eyes and by virtue
of my need for your love,
I’ll be the victim to rescue
with that spider silk smile
that weakens me while you undo
my clothes and my defenses,
reminding of how you undervalue
my worth, my heart, and my body.
Yeah, I won’t say anything to you
about cheating on me because
we both know when I am through
crying I'm not going anywhere.

Our first kiss was in my basement, one year,
and three hundred and forty-seven days ago,

his lips tasted like the saccharine double chocolate chunk ice cream
that he licked off my spoon just minutes ago, beard
brushing against the soft bottom of my chin,
                                                           ­                   his hand slipped
into mine as we walked away from yet another birthday celebrated,
it’s been seven since we first became friends

and his hands have finally stopped trembling.

Her eyes convey concern as her head slowly rises up from mine.

“This is a bad idea.”
In her face, against the lightly accented string lights

I see his eyes, tears welling up,

I know I can’t do this, I can’t kiss her, I can’t lose her

I can’t betray him.

I know this is wrong but

I love her and as she leans back down our lips crash together,
hers are plain, soft, safe,


When he cries, he sniffles more than he sobs, when I see him sad, powerless,
my heart cracks, I made a promise in my basement to never be the cause of this suffering,

my right hand runs through her soft hair, twirled between my two fingers
left hand resting on her cheek, I can feel that under her eyelid she is helpless,
I feel powerless, captivated by the twinkle in her eyes when she laughs,


I feel as though I am held hostage in her arms, yet a wave of freedom washes over me,

I don't know how I feel all I know is I don't yet want this to end,

we both want this,

yet I tell him it is my fault, I hold him close to my chest, my fingers run through
his wildly curly hair,
                     she pulls me closer as we continue to fight rationality,
and in this moment, we are breathing in synchrony, I taste nothing saccharine,
only feeling her soft lips and a bittersweet moment.

11.6.17
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