I rule out myself

when reading, so I can hear --


what is being said.

In the grass, snakes lie
Fangs bared, ready to strike,
Slither over consciousness,
Turning strength weak,
As insidious thoughts do inside.
Cause man to pause,
As like a stone;
Movement defies

I would be a great artist
If only i could sit still,
If only i could give myself permission to stop,
To pause long enough to create
Without this rush
Without this never ending, unceasing drive
To be finished already
To be on to the next thing...
This feeling
That im already too late
For action
For life
For love
For now....
Im too late for now!
****
Stuck on this merry go round
Which is neither merry
Nor travelling towards any destination
Except my inevitable death...
I consume my life with things not done
With what I should be doing but am not...
In the minutie of banall tasks
While the joy, light and colour of my life remains unpainted.
Just melancoly ideas
On a canvas strewn with trivialities....
Maybe this is my life?
The sum of these random scrawls which somehow spells the shadow of the word "trauma".
I sit in a pool of my own dissatisfaction
Waiting for... for what?
For better days?
For salvation?
To be rescued?
As i push away those who may help...
Such a strange thing
Existance
Life
Hope....

We were at a small
bar, the place only served some
older regulars.

An elderly guy
in an old jean jacket was
talkative, friendly.

“What do girls learn at
Yale?” He asked. “We’re taught things, like
expressions, smiling,

pomposity, snark,
whatevering and stuff-stuff.”
I bragged shamelessly.

“Sure,” He chuckled, “sure
- but it’s worth the money I suppose,”
he gave me a toast.

Limiting yourself
can, in fact, set you free - try
writing a Senryu

Like a martial art,
a tea ceremony or
classical music

They are a tight dance -
controlled, disciplined, focused.
Other styles can drift.

A Senryu is like
a Haiku except it deals
with human feelings

Interruption creates dysfunction,
I try to stay focused but find myself distracted
When my flow state is corrupted
It causes a malfunction.

Why can't you send a message
Instead of speaking to me in person
Calling is a last resort,
I'll wait for your text.

The talking in the office is irritating.
The sound of the fax machine
Papers shuffling
Quiet is key

Headphones help me,
I feel like I'm time travelling
When I put them to use,
Please stay away from me.

The magic sword can't

be pulled free by focusing --


on the mossy stone.