You should smile with your teeth.
I’d make you cups of tea half smiling with sleep
laugh sweetly when you spoke from fuzzy dreams
And measure the dimples in your freckled cheeks
When my eyes have betrayed me
I try to turn you inside out
But I haven’t found my reflection in your bloodstream
Though you are running through my veins like hot coffee.

You shouldn’t look at me
The buttons on your coat make me jittery and uncomfortable
Because I want to pull you by your hair
I want to meet your hazed stare and imagine me there
Living in the catchlight on the reflection of a hotel window
While you take off your clothes behind me
So I see your skin in the fogged up glass
shudder while your eyes burn into my back
and smoke rises from my spine.

You should love him a little more
He’s been on the phone since four and I hear his yorkshire accent from before
like an axe being jolted into the dip of my chest.
Bouqets of roses by your door and I’m the crippling thorns
I feel like shaking hands between my knees
the blood dripping from my sleeves
How cruel I have been
Although my heart is by my feet and ill at ease
You should smile with your teeth
Even if it isn't for me.

You are a blank rose doused in wine;
Too thrilling for my pen to hold,
You shed your petals in my mind.

I want to freeze your face in time
But flowers blister in the cold-
You are a blank rose doused in wine.

My morning sunshine makes it fine,
Repaints the waste in liquid gold-
You shed your petals in my mind.

I'm veering off the railway line
Grasp out for hanging vines to hold;
You are a blank rose doused in wine.

The thoughts dissolve in seafoam brine
As if my memory's been sold;
You shed your petals in my mind.

But I still hope to find a sign
A crumpled map into your soul;
You are a blank rose doused in wine,
You shed your petals in my mind.

There you are, three steps away from me
There our eyes met slowly in the middle
I hardly noticed your presence minutes ago
I’d turn away as if I never intended to do this

There you are, three steps away from me,
Denying I felt something when we were in the room
I sat at the corner of this crowded place
You came in as if something has to bloom.

There you are, three steps away from me
We’ve been in this side before, lost in crowds,
The only difference a year and eight months from now is...
I was once the one beside you.

There you are, three steps away from me.
There I’d find you in a short long distance,
It’s hard to walk there at your place,
I’d rather run miles away from that smile I used to know

There you are, three steps away from me...
I am seeing an invisible wall
You’re painted on it
Oh hello, aren’t you the stranger I used to know?

There you are, three steps away from me,
Still can’t believe I couldn’t walk up to you.
Even just to smile and say a little hello
Even just to ask how you’ve been all this time

There you are, three steps away from me.
Can’t believe I’m writing ‘bout you
A year and eight months from now
Realizing you still mattered to me somehow.

.
i am not yours
you are not mine
we can never be together, enveloped in the soft warmth of each other.
you will never hear the music that sings me to sleep in place of you.
the serene morning lights will never shine on us as we slowly shift awake, still intertwined

she sobbed on her knees,
begging to the heavens and the flowers and the trees.
she let the emptiness fill her slowly like poisoned honey,
let the silence scream louder than the wind.

it was a song and dance she knew quite well,
she stayed afloat in rough waters,
forgot to feel the heat of the sun on her face.
calm pools of blue came and swept her away,
and in his eyes, she slowly drowned.

it was fate, she thought, to rest in this abyss
to be still, to be content, to be quiet with him
he carried her softly, careful and delicate.
the universe laughed.

she stayed too long,
forgot to come up for air,
& what seemed like fate,
was really a cosmic joke.