"Today--definitely today,
I will tell you."
I whisper-chant
To myself.
As we stroll down the pebbled street--
The one I hated but you loved,
Where ravens perched and cawed,
As if mocking my foolishness.

You take lazy steps, flashing a lopsided smile--
The one you always have when relaxed.
I'm rigid as a tree,
wrinkles from frowning.
I open my mouth, willing the words
To Spill out.

But you interrupted:
"Why're you always so upset?"
Alas, a chance presented to me,
But I don't know if it was that
Invisible frown
Or that inaudible edge of annoyance
In your voice
That made the dam shut.

You're too,
Too important
So I plaster a smile on
And let the ravens mourn
My loss.

-Bella R.

This night's been cold,
this night's been warm
bringing me back to a memory
of a summer's parting.

So difficult as it left a trace.
The sun could have risen,
Everyday, I become someone different,
Someone else, 'til I never realized...

How I've lost "me".

I love you yet I have to let go
Never granted me the chance to get close
I've been running tirelessly in circles
Waiting for you to love me back

You cast a powerful spell on me
Three and a half years long
Yet you've barely uttered a vowel
Your eyes put the root on my weak heart

So I ran inside this hamster wheel
In hopes you would set me free
Time is up and need to break out
No more of this dizzying runaround

i do not know if you remember me.
maybe i'm only a shadow in your past.
a forgotten face, a handful of significant sentences, an online footprint that has yet to wash away.
but i have not forgotten you.
i have not forgotten how we slept in the same twin size bed for nights on end, squeezing our souls under thin sheets, feeling close but being distant.
i have not forgotten how you laughed with me over silly throwaways, cried four ways about a boy, lied four ways about a girl.
i have not forgotten how your hair looked extra gold in the spring sun, and how your smile made me feel like i had won, and how your dry eyes made me want to cry because you loved everyone,
except yourself.
i have not forgotten how my scratches soaked into my skin, and i let only you in because you were the only one who treated me like more than a joke.
you made me choke on unwritten words and unsent love letters. i drowned in the tines between friends, fear, and falling, listening for you calling, and you tried hard to cast me a line.
but i never called you mine.
i laughed with you about silly throwaways, cried in a craze over your loss in my life, lied four ways about loving you.
and now, it's true. i have my own world where all of my friends love me like you, and a ******* the brink of womanhood who smiles more than you and loves me for all of who i am.
and i am happy. more happy than i ever was around you.
but reminisce?
i do.
i do not know if you remember me,
but i never forgot all of you.

When you can’t catch your breath
I’ll lend you the oxygen out of my chest
I would take apart my heart
If it helped yours to beat
But you like her and I can’t compete

ineffable (adj.) - too great to be expressed in words.

my love for you is ineffable. i can't think.
it burns brighter than any star in any solar system
in my heart
its incomprehensible,
the way words escape my brain and
coil tight deep in my throat
just by looking at you
thinking of you
but, alas, you always seem to not notice.
when i see you in the hallways
i look at you, smile and wave
if only you could see that i was d r o w n i n g inside.
just from longing for
your touch
your attention
your love.