When I met you every thing went quiet. I mean really quiet. So quiet my ears literally began to burn and buzz, and I didn’t know weather I should put my hands on the sides of my head or use them to clench my chest and mouth to keep myself from throwing up. When I saw you everything in my body began to separate. It was chaos....all the organs in my skin running bullet train style away from each other. My brain hit the top my skull my heart melted in to my shoes and my stomach well my stomach was in a corner doing doing shots of everclear with ******* backs! Oh my lord I was confused and it hurt, it hurt real bad! We were at a baseball game, it was your girlfriends baseball game... your girlfriend who was also my (at the time but no longer not because of this but for different reasons)best friends playoff baseball game. Yep that’s the day you came in to my life full force like a flash ******* hurricane flinging glorious tiny white rectangles in to my soul with oevery uninterested grin and indifferent chunk of banter you tossed my way...I was absolutely enthralled!!! Utterly and disgustingly captivated by the magnitude of your glow. Did you even understand?! Do you even understand what you did that day?! I remember tracing the outline of your jawbone with my finger as I quietly sung songed your name from a few seats up and slightly to the left of where you and my bestie were sitting, when she, the girl we both loved for different reasons looked back and smiled at me through squinting eyes because I strategically placed myself in the direction of the sun, I sweetly smiled back at her through clenched teeth holding back anger and tears because someone who was not me was holding your hand.....why was she so lucky?! Why was I so unlucky?! Why?! I couldn’t understand the feelings I had. I mean I have never in my life ever wanted someone’s something more than I wanted you. I’ve never been jealous like ever and I’ve certainly never wished ill on one I cared for but right then at that moment I found myself cursing and spitting on the name of every woman who had ever had the audacity to let their skin meet with yours. Now I have always taken pride in my unshakable zest for all things flaky and fleeting ie my feelings towards everyone and everything. But you ruined me that day you broke my perfectly contented bland existence. I was fine some would say even happy being alone never knowing you existed! But from the moment I saw your wonderfully stupid adorable face I wanted to be with you to be by you to live laugh eat sleep dance bathe breathe grow old die with you. I wanted to know and be about everything about you.... I was obsessed! I am obsessed. So me being the logical and completely sane person that I am. I did what any logical and sane person would do.... I friend zoned myself, HARD. But not just that, I began to make myself like all the things you liked so I was someone you wanted around and I began to do things for you so you needed me around and carried myself in a way that was so non threatening so non ****** that I was totally excepted and loved by every not better than me girl that youve dated and even your current girlfriend who if I have to say I guess is pretty freaking dope and subsequently has become my friend as well through all fault of my own. And all this simply because I wanted, no I needed to stay by your side. And that folks is where I am today me yep awesome fantastic intelligent beautiful witty wonderful idiotic me, single and tortured, maybe forever because I’m in unrequited love with my totally oblivious now bestfriend. And because this is supposed to be a poem.... boy dear boy the only one who holds my heart closed eyes closed fist never to be mine not even from the start So terrified that I’ll lose you somewhere over time never saying what I want to because you see, my love and your rejection they just never seem to rhyme.
