Nyx 12h

I need to leave
I've ought to say goodbye
This unrequited love
Simply must to die

I've completely slipped your mind
Fallen through the cracks
My only existence now
Is a forgotten name in your contacts

Below all those studs, that you call your great friends
And underneath all those girls you call at 3am
Covered in dust as it grows old with age
I sit here and wait, patiently within this stone cold cage

Transienting through life, days pass like any other
Sleepless nights, Friendships bite, Its simply quite a bother
Messages from others, blowing up my phone
Yet without yours, I feel so alone

I thought I had forgotten you
Moved on from my past
I was going to find another
But that was never going to last

It seems I cant escape
no matter how far I run
Is this merely my fate
Or is it karma having fun

What can I do?
What can I say?
Because a simple text from you
Consumes my waking days

Is this intentional?
Are you leading me on for fun?
Our texts are quite stale, answers are close to none
Every time we talk now, You always seem so done

But once in a blue moon
We call for a single night
Forgetting the conflict
Our souls filled with delight

I'll put it all behind me, Let it fade from my mind
I'll dwell in emptiness and move on with my life
Even though these feelings, cut through me like a knife
Acting like nothings wrong, Everything okay
Just force on a smile
It doesn't bother me anyway.
Deviate 19h
Why is it that every time I decide I want you,

There's someone else?
There's so many hers I can't keep count
ordained 19h
"and indeed there will be time
to wonder 'do i dare?'
do i dare
disturb the universe?"
i could wreck it all with the same breath it would take
to ask about his day, or tell him there's something in his teeth,
or suggest a new song.
and this power is deafening.
do i dare wake the gods?
surely they will want to see this,
this unraveling of my stability
(it does not matter that the "stability" was killing me)
they have such a cruel interest
in the blossoming and withering within my heart.
they tend the garden one minute and burn it the next
and they revel in watching the flames
and i think i do too.
i sit on the edge of a humbling world and waste time.
"and indeed there will  be time...
there will be time to murder and create....
time for you and time for me"
but every second i deliberate i lose my resolve
and i resolve to bite my tongue
and get used to the taste of my blood.
i wait and deliberate and deliberately hurt myself
(old habits die hard) and i still can't swim
and i think this is drowning but it's just a puddle--
is this the way i go out? in a shallowness of my own making?
do i dare do i dare do i dare
step into the forest primeval and wreck it all
i know hope is useless but
something is telling me that maybe there will be time
for "affection that hopes, and endures, and is patient"
for a sigh of relief and what i so deeply desire.
he is all that i want
and the air that i breathe and i would hold my breath if he asked
and maybe i should hold my breath and tongue
do i dare do i dare do i dare
i'm toeing the line and there will be time
but i think i should just jump
i used to be obsessed with "the love song of j alfred prufrock" and it's just kinda fitting right now so i threw in a little love for it, plus a slight nod to longfellow's "evangeline". this took me so long to finish because i just kept getting stuck in my own head

"The euthanasia"
fundamental right
to die with dignity,
when no possibility,
is legitimate...

I wonder
If "the unrequited love"
A freewill
without felicity
was ever illegitimate?

Trying to correlate euthanasia with unrequited love....now euthanasia is legal in india
Are you crying right now?

It is a funny thing, how fleeting certain feelings are.
As I am left with your absence, my fingers tremble under the moonlight, trying to grasp what is left of you before the sun rise erases the shadows you left me with.
I wrap my arms around myself to stop the butterflies from flying away, but my love, trying to keep you is like trying to catch clouds.

You are a memory, etched on the back of my mind, floating around me like a thick smother. Oh, how I wish you were.
I urgently attempt to inhale you, my darling. The taste of your lips still linger on my tongue, i am still hanging at your lips, swallowing each and every word you verse into my mouth; i swallow, i swallow. I swallow all the knives you throw, slitting my throat, i become silent. I look up, the moon still shining, I smile; how foolish of me to think I could have want you forever.

There are nights where I shut my eyes, and I see you; eyes darker than hematite, your skin was earth and your smile was sun. I let you become my entire world, my center, my source. I wanted it.

Now that you’re gone, I am struck by what seems to be reality: a life before you, a life after you. You brought color to my world. A shooting star. A wisp of fresh air. A long awaited breath out of water. And now I sink. Every inch of my flesh used to be teeming with life for you. You made roses bloom in my lungs, thorns scraping my insides with every breath I take. Now I walk alone, in the garden you planted for me.

You are the nectar, I am the bee.

Too beautiful, it was painful. Too short, it was beautiful.
Look at this tangle of thorns.
"It's fine." I say, trying to smile through the pain.
Flowers beginning to bloom, instead of wane
Roots taking hold, pushing into my lungs
Petals pouring out, hindering my tongue
It wasn't supposed to end in pain.

Breathing starting to become a strain
Nothing hurting more than smiling through the pain
But I smile anyways, if only to regain
Normalcy destroyed by my tongue.
It's fine.

These flowers that flowed from me were the daisy chain
Tethering me to the "sorry" that left me slain
Everything after sounding like ancient tongue
As the pollen started to fill my lungs
Vines curled around my heart, disrupting veins
Tears flowed down my face, I smile, "It's fine."
Based on the fictional hanahaki disease, where victims cough up flower petals when they suffer from an unrequited love.  I am taking a poetry class and I had to write a rondeau for an assignment. I really like how this turned out.
Fire 4d
You ripped it
my pretty little heart -
but that's okay because
now I can pin it
to a wall
and scream
This Is Art.
The Infinite Seas
As she stares at the stars and you stare at her,
You wonder what she sees in them.
It’s the stars that make her smile like that.
You want to wash your hair with stardust,
Wear a necklace of a shimmering constellation,
Shove entire planets in your eyesockets,
And burst into a girl-supernova
So that maybe, just maybe, she will love you, too.
Next page