I draw on cigarettes,
Doodle with resin-
Blisters on my fingers,
They all think I'm playin'.
The colors brown & red
Are escaped when I shut my eyes,
And when I turn my face inside
I'm fine with what I see.
It's not dark, pretty light-
It's all clear skies,
Even with a chance of showers
There's always a sunrise.

How unrealistic the idealistic can be
And yet, there is still our commitment
To something far realer than any war-
When you realize it's what it's fought for.

I'm asking a question,
Yet, I already have an answer-
What is the purpose?
That the question isn't rhetorical
And that I seek your honest opinion,
Is it not to broaden my view?
In time, horizons expand
If the increments are spent
With the goal of understanding-
Otherwise, it doesn't mean a ****
And we're cursed to repeat again
That which we have already gone through.

It is out of great hate
Where it is so easy to find equal love;
For it is not my hate which I speak of.
Of the many desperate,
What makes us separate
Apart from perspective?
What keeps us from happiness?
That there is a difference,
You are measuring out the parts
And forgetting the sum.
That you choose to live in memory
And think not of the future,
Your race is already run.
Tell me, did you win?
And, if so,
What have you won?

Truly, as stated previously;
I hate nothing & I hate no one.
Dislike delight? Not I.
And what joy it is merely to be alive

That luck would so have it
And countless chain reactions
That I should be a human on this planet-
I can breathe easy staring at the sunset
As much as a sunrise.

Whatever twists, warps, & bends
I may experience;
They are all worth it
Just to exist.

When water condenses to vapors
We can curse the temperature
Or we can be grateful
For having had any liquid
So life giving.

So, life may be giving
And life may be taking-
That I strike out some balance,
It's always teetering.

Yet, I am still.

You may do exactly as one requests,
Just for them to still have complaints.
Go the extra mile,
Only to fall short.
You can be asked to speak openly,
Only to be punished for your honesty
And shamed for what are your thoughts.
Still, the strongest of us have no care
For them to cause such a thing as silence;
That I am only human,
Is this my fault?

Experience was without form,
And so I shaped instinct.
Between them was love,
And so they gave birth to intelligence-
But intelligence grew alone,
So they adopted wisdom.
And wisdom loved intelligence,
And honored their parents,
So they created a family.
There were all the emotions,
And all together they built a home.
There was the body,
Something physical to provide shelter.
We called the land Elysium,
And we were the Ethos.

The maxim has come to mean:
Forgive me for my transgressions
But don't forget them-
I fought for what I have,
So what if you were the victim?

You think you have everyone eating out of your hand
Barely & Oats-
I say, parley
Let me speak to the captain
Or whoever it is that steers the rudder
And commands the oars.
I see before me terrible animals
And in all, worse men.
You think it some great gallon,
But, to me, it looks to be
Much closer to a life boat
Punctured with holes.

I got a little book,
A LifeLog I've put
All the aggregated data I can collect.
I buy up every market share I can get
And run my little freak simulations
Where I stimulate all of life
Because I'm such a ******* coward
And obsessed with control.

What started small
Now extends to everyone
Without a concern for your privacy,
In ways wholly unconstitutional.

You know you are unworthy & undeserving,
Beneath me, love;
And yet, with shame,
You feel the same as you have always
That heart - of mine.
It is kindred, and full of lust.
Hopelessly infatuated,
Though you know we were all wrong.
You can't help it,
And you assure me it isn't obsession
For you have known that,
This is not it.

Just painfully unrequited,
For all your faults.

You are as
The silver moonlight
Which with its grace
Dances on the surface of this lake.
You, who penetrates my depths
And ripples into my being
Causing waves to quake.
I will be your shelter,
In my open arms
I will be your rest.
I will be as the caves of old,
Within me you may find peace
From the raging tempest of the world.
You may shutter your eyes and dream,
For the fire will remain
Even if to fuel it, I must burn.

To a master,
There are only slaves.
To a lord,
There are only subjects.
To a king,
But vassals.
To a boss,
Are only subordinates.
Yet, in reliance
Who rules who?

The joy of simplicity entertained,
Is the death of false airs-
Like that of the faux intellect.
Fancy as a fop,
Gay as a dandy-
Yet, still the poorest sops.
That the point went overhead,
To me, it merely was beneath me
But you could get no lower.
Just wait till you drop! :)

I know I am unworthy & undeserving,
Beneath you, love;
And yet, with shame,
I feel the same as I have always
This heart - of yours.
It is kindred, and full of lust.
Hopelessly infatuated,
Though I know we were all wrong.
I can't help it,
And I assure you it isn't obsession
For I have known that,
This is not it.

Just painfully unrequited,
For all my faults.

Be unrealistic, congratulations!
You are privileged.
And think me wrong,
I am only a realist.
If you don't like the observational
It's because you fail to see
Things as they really are
And rather, how you'd like them to be.

I urge you to put in
An abundance of thought,
Is there resemblance of the rational in what you've wrote?
The ropes are taut, caught in a knot
Of the mind besot. Break out the raincoat,
Over skin lepidote does cashmere run like the water. Its moves are rote, yet nature is mute
To those who have no want to listen.
You crave the fire but hate the smoke,
If not for the purpose it served
You'd ***** out every spark
And never let it burn.
That candle on the mantle,
Over the roaring hearth;
Fair knowledge & justice blaze the wick
Of which is human.
And even in deluge, the flame billows-
For there is nothing to put it out.
Your thinking otherwise is simply hubris.

You wear the chain around your neck,
And it reminds me much of Cain-
Cursed to wander the Earth.
That mark of the beast
Which celebrates human sacrifice,
Still better than the star.

Refulgence,
That a star should ever be penitent
For only having shone
For those who prefer the dark over light?
No.
The clouds hang heavy,
The hazy fog creeping in
Halts for some-
As for others that it overtakes,
There are those spared completely.
Like that it is arid for one,
The other views it as humid;
Your dry may be wet,
Their wet may be as the dirt of the desert.

"Malodorous," Said from one with a stench.
And the bath was drawn
But the water was reflective,
So they chose only to stink
Rather than sink.
Their sin was antisense

I know you don't think you are,
But you are capable of being loved.
No matter how much pain you've endured,
No matter how much pain you've caused
You are still deserving & worthy of love.

What are the point to these words?
To anything of language?
For the same could be said
Of all of which we do;
For understanding,
For that is care.
That I want to hear,
To want to share,
That I wish I were there.
To express my love for you,
What that is my love for life.
That I lived & it was good.
What I think-
There were negatives,
But I developed my own pictures.

If you ask who this is,
It's not important.
That a man has a name,
What is its purpose
But recognition?
I don't care about the hate,
But I don't want praise-
Yet, I would hate to leave you in confusion.
The double edged knife,
When the answers hurt us both.
Perhaps it's better not knowing.

I have an answer,
I had one prior to the question-
So, why ask?
I would rather wonder
Than assume to know fact,
Even if I am proven wrong.
Even if it is painful.

I never usually dream,
But I dream of you
And the fact that I do is torturous.
Perhaps, it is punishment
For what my mind perceives as guilt.
And like every poor sod
I wonder,
Do you think of me too?

Spitting up blood;
Living, dying,
What's its worth?
I feel as the Emerald Ash Borer,
Hated by those around me
And stamped upon
Until I am eradicated
Whilst those same people
Attempt to find some use from me
Before I am killed.
These are not loving societies,
Reflected in our treatment of others;
It was very nice to have known all of you.

What will the horizon bring us?
I wonder,
Can you feel my heart?
In dawns of days gone,
In coming eves of twilight;
When I said
I shall always love you,
I meant it.
And days now start
Within a sky where there is no sun,
Within the dark of night, no stars;
Inside of me there is light
All formed from the memories
Of two kids in love, young.
Spiderwebs still entrap
Yet the venom is tapped-
How I wish I was still poisoned.

Closer in time,
Your heart is
Aching in your chest.
Fading lights
The stars wander
Out of the sky, just chance.
And inside
The warmth of
Just one more night.
From my lungs
I feel a tugging
Catching my breath.

In your sea, I am but a drop
Yet, you are my ocean.
On the field of love, I am but a rock
And you are the mountain.
I feel as sisyphus,
In love with his punishment-
But I've pushed too much.
This torture is redundant,
We get nowhere and feel as though
Further down the hill.
And yet, I love you as such
I would never cease pushing
Till my heart stops
And muscles grow still.
For what is love
To the stone heart?

Lovingly, to fall for Medusa
Onto my own sword.
For were I tasked to **** her
I should sooner forgo my life
So that she may have her own.
For I looked into the eyes of the Gorgon
With my last breath,
And when she spoke
It was clear she was no monster
But a disgraced goddess.
Never did I turn to stone.
As I lay lifeless, she wept
And offered her *****.
Every touch was like lightning,
Though I was the center of the storm;
She showed me kindness
The likes of I had never known before.
And when I was revived
I wept too.

Be the recluse,
Be the hermit,
And make your assessments of others
Based on short and fleeting interaction,
Drenched in the sweat of "purpose" & "agenda,"
And be met with statements
Which really convey nothing and rarely
Encapsulate honest thought in brevity
But are said only to end the conversation.
Close knit,
The threads choke,
Living your turtleneck life.
No collar to be turned up,
The cotton already hugs your throat;
Nothing to end abrupt,
That which never saw its start.
Those who talk
Simply to hear themselves,
Do they have anything to say?
Those with the blinders on,
They never see the entrance ramp
Neither the turn-offs
Till it's too late.

Some Conway Cabal;
It's a regular circus,
In the capitol.

You should follow the law,
And if it's wrong
It should **** you off
And make you motivated for change.
Motive with your discipline should result in action,
Whether you merely speak out for what you believe,
In verbal or physical protest.
Your ancestors had freedoms to yours in fractions
And wealth the same,
Still they fought
To edge out a line in the sand
For a land with equal rights for every man.
Do you wish to return to such old & backward ways
As feudal days with no say?

I have no stock in a generation
Who does not care whether
There is social security enough left
To secure my retirement,
A system I have paid into tiringly.
If you want to end it
Be sure I receive my back checks,
Or risk being strung by the neck.
I have no assurances
I will even be allowed to retire,
Only assured those in the house
Could not care less
As to such questions of great importance.
They busy themselves with war,
While we suffer and only grow more poor
And have no interest in developing industry or infrastructure here at home.
They know nothing of the branch
Only the rich fruit of the olives,
Whatever ripe can be harvested.
Yet, they know not how to sow.

Our chariot soared through the tunnel
And from out of the dark, light.
The sight of the city erupting
With fires' glare burning bright,
Venom like a snake's bite.
Vast buildings careening down,
As we maneuvered around them
The air was thick with smoke
And the smell of lead & sulfur,
The ground shook in violence.
We landed in a clearing,
The end was close at hand
The limits to see it, subjective;
For many laid dead in our stead,
Many enemies & siblings come to head,
And long did we have to tread before rest.
I unfurled the flag
And hoisted it up overhead,
Flying high on the mast.
I said my prayers
And made my peace,
Before the rain began.
All around me was storming,
Shutters battered marble
Amid crys for no quarter-
Blood was to be our recompense

Get disconnected,
And find you are detached from life.
Your fight becomes for the trivial,
And what is obvious to others
Eludes your sight.
You are choked up and smothered,
The fire you started, snuffing out all oxygen-
No longer beneficial.
And then you die

Believe, obey, fight-
Tow the party line!
It's a quick battle,
One waged against your own interest;
It's a sad case,
To watch men spit in their own face.
It's family, God, & country
And no room for the self.
Don't you care about your race?
How will you protect it?
What about your religion?
Enshrine it, defend it, spread it?
Of your state-
Bolster, boast, expansion?
Your God?
Your country?
Your family?

Pixilated war,
And out in the real fields
Insurgents rally against
Tin men and robotic dogs.
Death from above,
Artillery & first-person drones.
I sip an energy drink
In 60° AC Fahrenheit weather,
I don't stop to think
As to if orders deserve questions
And whether I would be satisfied with answers.
They don't have drafts,
We have programs & apps
To pilot steel fellas.
Suppress, eliminate, rescue,
Some of them even punch up the graphics.
Last week, I traipsed through
The inhospitable Arabian Desert,
Many decades ago rendered entirely uninhabitable,
To help diplomats involved in a helicopter crash.
The day after that,
I was in the snowy north
Fighting red droids.
And soon after,
On an island in the Pacific
Defending from adversarial users.
I must have died 10,000 times.
And from what I hear on the news
We make advances only to be set back,
And vice versa,
But it's been seventeen good years
Going back & forth.
I don't know if I can recall what we're fighting over.

Speak of love,
So many hopeless hearts,
With none to give.
Something to dream they'll find,
When they aren't even sure what to look for.
Find it on your own first.
Otherwise, you'll just end up hurting others
Or hurting worse.

Charcoal hands
To hold my ignited love,
The only reciprocity
Is to be maimed & scarred
With flames beyond the fire's control.
Gasoline loves a match-
Bright & hot, destructive, fast.
Burns out to within, and then
It's all exhausted;
Embers smolder to ash.

You are superior to 𝘸𝘩𝘰?
I am no one's inferior,
And if someone has differing conjecture;
Congratulations, I believe you!
Clearly, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 are less than 𝘮𝘦.

I take good advice
Even if I don't like the source,
Because I trust in knowledge
And in the pursuit of more.
I think for myself,
Because I cannot allow others to;
Evidently, not many do.
I place my respect, like I place my trust-
As to how I pay-
When it has been earned.

Just like all the nepotism today,
Narcissism is wildly popular-
In fact, it's good.
You should only care for yourself,
Forget about any platonic love for others
What use can you derive from them?

I stalk through the dark hallways
Drifting through remnants of a sun.
Spirals into vortexes, cascading shafts of light on
Brief transits inward, where time falters.
Forces push & pull and all around
The tide of the cosmos envelopes me,
Wading through the static sea
Waves come in crashing-
Laughter, screams
And yet, no sound escapes the vacuum

The stork flew today,
High on over the valley;
A beautiful dream

Salting the earth

Take it from the first books-
Though you may feel you are gentle,
The judgements against you are harsh.
They span far beyond your life,
Gleaning the collective journey
Of sweat & of blood.
If your mind is clouded,
Drain the marsh.
For there are no waters
Too deep or too shallow
That will supersede a verdict.

Burnt olive trees, to provide nutrients
For soil's hunger;
For the insatiable appetite
Of the wandering, lost souls.

Out in the desert, praying for a bloom of
Blue lotus;
The river thumps on,
The streams flow

No more dates, no more plums-
Just sick puns;
This is how you worship omnipotence?
Through war & the ****** of innocents?

Second class citizenship, not even recognized at all;
Prison states and dehumanization.
Extremism fostered on either side,
Each side refusing responsibility

All in the name of Allah
All in the name of G-d

Perform playact, strut your stuff -
Always a fun time,
If you know how to bluff.
Make love all night, night turns to day -
Love under the sun,
Love in the shade.
Give it free or restricted,
If it's only kept to yourself
What's the difference?

Spaghetti condors and
Mango vultures,
Gobstop gumbo;
Velociraptors in the Bayou, and
Doves made of mildew.
Tell me, is it all
Getting old?