what is it to be 40 twice the man, you were at twenty? four times the man, you were at ten? is it being wiser and having your means meet the end? finances sured up? with no need, for to be the miser a divorce or some perhaps a strong marriage polyamorous loves to your heart's desire addictions? vices? troubles stifling? death breathing down your neck to the thumping of your heartbeat beads of sweat, gather and run off your chest like your shoes on the concrete you are dying even while you're living and you know one day it'll be your last cause we only get so long and time goes fast a baby is born the next afternoon an old man is buried tomorrow could never come would you ever know it?
there will be times when a quarter can make you smile and days will be spent poured over newspapers circling with a marker that you swear is filled with your blood you won’t know who’s hands have found your rib cage or why they have to push so hard it’s going to feel like you’re climbing out of a grave dug far too early and the next root is three inches too high and you just can’t reach it and maybe it’ll be easier if you just fall but when you hit the ground your bones will be dust and you’ll still have no where to go but up but you remember what your friend said about how even earthworms can move the ground so kick your foot into the dirt and make your own stepping stone fill your fingers with your own breath carrying hope and everything you learned last time so they’ll reach a little longer you’ll see the light and grass will dance again on your toes