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Hidden glare of strangers
Maybe all over now
even if you forgive me not
I'll always be here with you


Wake me when it's over
Wake me to a place I know
Hidden glare of strangers
Will never go.

You don't seem to understand
Shame on all the fears we hold so dear
You know what they say might hurt you
Even if they'll never go.
john Sep 28
it's in the ring now,
but the modern way is reckless.
oblivion is nearing ever closer,
you're just like me:
the greatest magic trick ever seen.
let's disappear together.

break.
nothing's real.
that's just how i feel.
it's all coming on now.
i can't stop listening to the voice
inside my head
telling me not to sleep,
but to go to bed.
shock paralysis dissolves into my mind,
streets walk through the night.
tell me where you are.

oh, what a beautiful hollow part of me
I see.
Ian Aug 23
There is, a back and forth,
Between the burning desire of confession,
And the cold despair of anxiety,
That spins my mind in such dizzying circles,
Only solution being: inaction.

The strife that comes with such a choice is staunch,
Unwavering in it's indecisive nature,
Ironically enough, this feeling is reflected,
Like a mirror image, that much is quite certain.

Perhaps more frightening then this inaction itself,
With it's insidious grip on my thoughts and wishes,
Sending my worry into a fury so blinding,
The mind incapable of dwelling elsewhere,
Only solution being: longing.

Oh, the melancholy that comes from such a deep longing,
It's influence tugging not just at the heart, and the spirit,
But at the being, the pain of seeing so clearly your wants,
Unsure of how to truly take grasp of that which you love.

It is a wonders if this longing is just like that mirror,
One of the greatest wonders to cross this weary world,
Because in knowing such an intimate truth,
There then remains not a moment unfettered by anxiety.
Taking a different approach to the storytelling here, thoughts on the feelings it conveys?
I was born in a house
And it wasn't a home
and my takehome from that
Is that inside of my bones

I am bad, I am needy
not enough for this
Gotta work to be loved
Even a little bit

But mixed messages come
From all over the place
It confuses my mind
When I get into states

When a friend starts to say
Something nice about me
It just hurts that deep down
That they mean what they see

I wish I saw it earlier
The goodness in me
and it hurts I've had to
Crawl down on my knees

Through the dirt and the *******
That nobody wants
To a pothole in London
written in different fonts

And there's tourists around
They're amazed at my skin
But when i moved up north
they found me sickening

Throwing rocks at me
while I walk to school
i want to succeed
so I don't see you

So I'm ***** I think
Should be ashamed of my skin
didn't think my colour mattered
Nothing's changed I think

But when I met you
you'd been in my skin
I felt so understood
In everything

and when you just left
Couldn't handle my honesty
Honestly sorry
couldn't keep it all in me

And then there is family
Or whatever's left of it
Half of me urbanised
Half of me ethnic

All these expectations
You're placing on me
Then after all that talk
You tell me I'm free?

It's *******
I know you wouldnt ever forgive me
If I threw away my intellect
Just to see the sea

Just to paint the waves
Just to see my friends
It isn't your fault
You're only 18 when

You're meant to decide
What to do with your life
but what if all my decisions
Are just socialised

I'm going by norms
I'm following trends
Don't want to be a sheep
or be mindless again

So right back to uni
I don't want to scare you
When I love it I love it
And when I'm angry
I'm fearful

**** fear let's talk love
He opened my heart
While I cut up dead bodies
In anatomy class

And when we broke up
I felt so **** useless
Who would want this body
When it's so **** fruitless

Then the dating apps differ
I'm swiping past lives
How can I judge someone
With only my eyes?

How is it so easy
To just **** a stranger?
Am I being healthy?
Or am I in danger?

How can I be rejected
In daily persuits
while simultaneously
Be chased by boys
who'd **** anything too

don't get me wrong it's fun
But sometimes it feels wrong
I was raised to wait till marriage
Before you get to that song

But I am my own person
I am not my past
I am not my future
I can't ******* be arsed

To listen to you
I'll be who I am
it's hard to stop listening
Not most people can
OC Jun 18
You are
What you are

Even while carried
To the left, or to the right
Up and down
Even if pivoted
Through each and every angle
Even when you were
And when you will
Forever still

Except

When you reflect
Through right to left
In your perception of the self
You are

Mistaken

So why rely on chiral lie
Deny your mirror form
And celebrate you
That is true
Through other eyes

You are reborn
Fifth installment of the series of poems inspired by physics (see first poem in the series for explanation).
For further reading: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symmetry_(physics)

Thoughts and comments are welcome
lake Apr 24
I don't like what I see when I wake up
Connecting my thoughts but they just break up
Every step's a compromise, telling perfect lies
But you know that I can't pull a wool over your eyes

GPS is gone, I gotta find my way
Can't get lost in what the voices say
Afraid of tomorrow and missing yesterday
Drowning in sorrow, I already hate today

I can't do it anymore, I can't open the door
Losing my center, lost sight of my core
Wasting my time looking back on days of yore
Looking for something that's still in store
Walking these aisles felt like a mile
Hanging on like a WinRAR trial
Why can't I let it go? Why can't I take it slow
Down a slippery ***** and it's getting cold
Watching people take my place, and thinking that's okay
I guess I'm just complacent, with nothing else to say

Watch your mouth, don't let it come out
Don't let them know what you're all about
Next thing you know they're gonna drown your shout
This is one hurdle you can't walk around
How are you gonna find your way out now

GPS is gone, I gotta find my way
Can't get lost in what the voices say
Afraid of tomorrow and missing yesterday
Drowning in sorrow, I already hate today
Ian Apr 23
Dreamy thoughts of the future meander,
Leaving a desire, dare say a fire raging within,
Endeavor to never allow the present the power,
To capture, and smother what presses valiantly forward.

Despite the dreary realities lying before me,
What comes beyond is the enticing peak of the journey,
A bastion of becoming what is so desperately sought,
The person I've endeavored to be.
lake Apr 18
i won't be coming back
so please just make this one last
sometimes i can't stop my thoughts
sometimes i forget what i brought

stormy skies won't bring me pain
cause i'm too **** used to the rain
missed my train then missed my bus
twelve alarms just weren't enough
the world goes around while i go down
i'll hit the ground any time now

and when the clock stops ticking
and my eyes stop blinking
will the world be stopping too
and when the people stop moving
and their heads stop turning
will i be something too

will i be someone to somebody out there
to somebody who cares, to somebody somewhere
i wanna be remembered but i don't wanna stand out
always had a goal but it's never planned out
just running around for a little while
just running around, headless chicken style
what is life all about
what am i all about
Deathless, she roars
"Undo this fire"
And so shall it be undone
Quenched, like thirst
For the rich
And for the bold
A wave's crest falling
Unfolding natural contrasts

Deathless, she was
Until deathless she was not
How many times can a girl
Fake her way through self love
Until she ways with the breeze,
Carrying her image as if a lover - kissing?
3/22/19
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