The Raw, Wild West Indeed!

I'm in a raft you gently paddle
The sense of this argument that comes
To me and tells me I've been a wild fool,
Better off smothered, a tool,
That entraps me in this triangle
of guilt, fear, and waves of madness.
I am on the verge of a total meltdown
Because you sing gently and dip your oar
Into the water quietly.

All the time!

It's now finally sundown,
Still the ebb and flow of my nerves
Are unsettled as the world spins around me,
My stomach in a knot I can't breath.
This is the end and *my heads numb, I can not feel,
There is one thing on my mind and it won't
Go anywhere so it disappears a distant hush.
There is the scent of flowers on your tidy scarf,
It reminds me of the fragrance of too much
Cologne. I try to escape but you hold all the keys,
*I just wish your boring "epic" show of modern
Over perfection would leave me alone!

"You can buy happiness..."
Says the so-called "life expert,"
Families always going on big vacations
With plenty of money, this makes people "happy,"
I listen to this and other things I've read,
Telling people that there's an end of days,
For our sins someone will strike us all dead.
I for one think I've heard it said-one too many times,
They will never overcome this truth which wise men tell!
Always remember, remember well,
One mans heaven is another mans hell.

I'm trying to "help the community,"
Trying to make a "healthy impact,"
I have a goal in mind, set,
It's all laid out ahead, before we've met.
I am forever "blessed,"
I can lose my moral traits when convenient.
I have all of the "virtues I was given,"
Most always fail me. My hindsight vision, "20/20 perfect,"
I've got a "healthy" set of norms and a
Pair of able legs, I am in the right
When I stumble and I'm not wrong
When I am told otherwise,
I've gotten somewhere at being in control,
Now I let strangers into my home and
Set up a world in which they're rights can be
Defined based upon my living. It's my decision.
If it's tolerable, I decide.  How soon you have to
Be finished and even how you're to be judged.
I am judge jury and executioner. I can make it
A "grand" money-making excursion. My family
As a group of strangers who "care," I never distrust.
Always and ever at my side but in the background,
We will see to it that this is somehow legal,
So long as no actual authority are around,
*There's no one who can stop me now!

Bring on the cold!*
You can all leave you're summer clothes behind.
Now is the apocalypse, all will be as society, as
All of civilization never knew once the pipes crack,
Bad weather or blind.

They forget pain, forget sorrow,
Then live in the dark, pluck hairs,
For that perfect look of tomorrow,
They sick their dog on the poor, the immigrant,
The downtrodden, the scapegoated. They give no
Honest time to what the less fortunate have in store,
They continue to work themselves for many an hour,
Pick up where they left off happy and content,
That all who oppose them will lose any help
In bringing them down from their cloud of power,
Then they take whatever they were after, laugh,
Chop off any hand or cut off that which "offends,"
That stands in the way and slows them down,
They will get what they are after and be the
Most "handy helpers" helping themselves around.

We run through forests and thickets
whizzing past swamps and field and glen,
this is how wild raw natural love is supposed to be
there is so much that has changed in my life since then.

She holds my hand, my heart beating fast, bleary eyes,
it's the wind, the air-floating feathers-who knows what
that gave me this overwhelming feeling of love,
this is what it's truly supposed to be when I fell from above.

We stop in a clearing, she runs her hands through my long
dark hair, she knows who I truly am, just simply setting me free,
in a field filled with fantastic stunning delights, stars sparkling into
the hazy twilight, there she kisses me slowly, soft and sweet.

There are streams and lakes, fern and pine, oak trees, amidst
Poppy, sagebrush and apple trees. You hold my hand and at once
I am in a dizzy spell. *"We can not go on forever like this,"
I say in my mind. Then I wake up to emptiness.

Life and death...
The endless cycle
This is what we both fear and love,
It's pain that brought you future pleasure
And it's pleasure which brought you future pain,
Don't run from yourself when push comes to shove,
Here I am, still before you. All washes away with rain.
Nature shall be the universal anointment upon your head,
It will become your honest everlasting saviour,
It will make certain that you in spirit live forever after
Once you overcome fate, entombed by your fears no more.

I don't recall how long exactly it's been
Since I've seen your playful, boyish eyes.
The nonsense in me says to play it cool,
But I know I'm just a lie that only dreams it flies.
This is how love goes when the lights turn on,
But no one is or ever shall be home.
I'd rather be in hell dining on hot firey coals,
Then know how it feels to be this sort of alone.
To me you were precious sunshine that fell from above,
But never did that sunshine share with me love,
Instead I wound up in a world of pain,
I can never be whole, never one nor the same.
You still exist, yet the carrot before the donkey's nose no more,
For now, forever, I do not know when, but that's why I'll
Always be so forlorn.

This my darkest hour, whether by pain or pleasure,
I can never forget my feelings for you,
Try as I might, run for now and forever,
You will always be there somewhere in my gloom.
How is this possible? That one person can hold me
So close from so far, that I imagine their arms around me
Even with this my dwindling flame in the dark?

*...till it's no longer burning, going out, just a spark...

So a person is gay, so they have to "have their way"
With a simple ring,  pizza or cake, a legal wedding day,
Doing things that straight people do everyday.
So a person is black, so they have to "vandalize,"
Even if in a decent non-violence as they demonstrate.
Remove the "threat," gang up on them even if
"Black Lives Matter" is all they were there to say.
So a person is an anti-war hippie, don't listen to them,
Instead go to war EVERY time and "make the world
A better place," especially for our children!
So a person is eccentric, "a dreamer," they have no right-of-way,
You're in this so-called free country,
Leave all of your dreams, your goals, your hopes
At home or take them to another MORE LIBERAL
Country to stay.

This dark twilight world of crystal clear
Envisioned skies, stars shimmering in the
Limelight of the Milky Ways crest,
Where worlds collide and whole stars reborn
Again like phoenix rising from the ashes...

You found me

In the back of a pickup truck making out?
No. That isn't what love is about.

In the alley way shooting up?
OF COURSE NOT, quite evil enough.

In some boring business meeting where
Nature is an abomination, even an evil?
Never could I imagine...

In an exotic tropic region, near the glistening springs,
Hills green and gleaming flowers still fresh with dew...

Aligned with all plain and normal
And love is a way of regression
'Tis your season to be frugal
For once we'll teach youth a lesson.

Vivid are all of my dreams,
Yes it's a place I go I believe,
I see visions, talk with spirits, feel,
When I am completely at rest.
Here, I am at a state where I am
Most alive when I am closer
To possible death, This warmth,
It fills me with a sense of truth,
The essence of my past, my youth.

I could have had riches and wealth,
I could have had everything, been a star,
I could have been a great musician,
I could have been famous, popular, gone "far."

But I would have given in to the age old
Way of the person who lacks confidence,
They need to be in the spotlight,
Hear the clapping near and far,
They need to over sacrifice,
They need to give up all their worth,
Sell out, become weaker, forget
Who they are.
*...and I am so much more than that.

Here's my poem about stuff that happens
Especially when you're sitting there in front of
A washing machine bored out of your skull,
You've got the world at your fingertips and
Yet that world isn't really whole.
Of course it's obvious I'm only joking,
This is a great time to be "alive!"
Hug your computer, it'll be your
Best friend, your playmate,
Your GF or BF, it will be your
Sweet 16, your  toy your prideful
Joy, it will take you to places far
And wide and never leave your side.
HOORAY! We all get to die without
Having truly *LIVED LIFE!

I'm sorry I ever tried to help anyone.
I'm a tragic loser at best. I'm a mess.
I won't even try, I won't ruin your lives
Anymore, an*  *animal,  **I can never be set free,
I'm not anything, and not even close to
Anyone you need.

I once had faith in human-kind's goodness,
The idea that people could grow up,
I once thought people were genuine,
But now it's all gone down the drain,
People are just one and the same.
Some men are afraid to be sensitive,
Certain women can't seem to toughen up,
It's all what popular society wants,
For people to become something they're not.

But this has to sound like a cruel song,
No one wants to hear how I feel,
In the end everyone is on their own,
You love defending the master, at his heel.
I will do as I'm told, carry on with a heavy heart,
This way of life will tear us all apart,
I bid you adieu, time to be swallowed whole
By societies ever oppressive ways and greed,
Become what people want, never what they need.

*It's the worlds end, like anyone pretends they are aware,
And in the end it seems that no one was really there,
And in reality, no one even cares.

What shall I write about?
So of what shall be my account?
This or that? Shall I take you on a magical
Journey through time and space?
Shall I take you to Mars and we can
Explore the rocky red place?
Is there some kind of time machine that
We can get in and find out what will
Happen in the future that might take place?
Maybe I will write to you of my real life, how I feel,
This would be an empty poem, so I shall impress
My audience with a pretend show. I'm really not
Going to be rich or famous unless I put on that
Endlessly addictive yet unreal neon glow...

Thanks society! Thanks prudes! Thanks extremists! Thanks money!

Who has...*
Who has actually been to the center of the universe?
Who has seen what happened in ancient times?
Who has found the nature of why life somehow exists?
Who has seen every last invisible aspect of your life?
Who has proven that aliens actually can not live?
Who has been to every planet and seen what lies beyond?
Who has knowledge of empty void and why it's filled?
Who has the answers to these questions all along?

I have...
I have seen the world from tiny human eyes
I have been there when the earth shook and rolled
I have seen smoke billowing from fires into the sky
I have heard many songs and sang them myself
I have seen every star in Orion's belt in the night
I have felt joyous and alive and free and well
I have had love and lost love and experienced sadness
I have learned to except my weaknesses and even death
These are few things, but until I see more, I should
Know when and where to not "teach" of "things so high."

Past the final hour of night
There is still just enough moonlight,
I can still see you're there for me,
Even through thick and thin,
Your repeating message is still around,
I can still playback again and again,
This is how we are all still friends,
Although we talk less you're still
Ever there for me, more than ever!
If you just buy a portrait of us together
It truly does make up for lost years,
Lost hours and lost measure...no need
To really really be together, not when
You're out there being part of the lie that
Takes every second of our time and I must be
Brainwashed that it was all in kind!
*YES you are still innocent-don't I have a choice
Now-may you please leave me alone-I believe!

I know there is a place in life
For all things great and wise,
But many people mistake certain
Things that are not of that guise.*
A practiced profession a vague recollection
A violent war, a hit and miss game,
People looking for others that they
Have even hurt or ruined to blame,
This is what has become and what became,
We are the "example" of purity.
Our hands soaked with blood,
A hateful flag waved in your face,
An obscene way to show "mature" grace,
This is what made America great,
To go forth, destroy, pillage, use plague,
To steal from the tribes on all counts,
Our excuse and our reasoning? Based on fear.
Showing nothing but "needed" destruction
And savagery, a form of selfish "non-villainy"
Practice an "innocent" thing called slavery,
Blame the blacks for selling them to our
***** filthy tainted "pure" white hands.
This is for what the southern flag really stands.

I hear people worried about the floods
The fires, battling nature and what not,
Freezing and hail, Thunderstorms,
There are hurricanes and tornadoes.

No one knows if they can keep this violent,
Stagnant as well as risky way of life going,
If this is the end, I gotta tell ya, I for one...
*Am extremely glad if that's how it goes!!!

I am told by others "just be 'yourself,'"
But your hair is so clean
Your teeth are so straight and white
And your skin is so soft and sweet
I could "never" be your "equal"
Your working life is "so complete"
People everywhere always need you
You have your own life, partner and home
All I am to you is some stepping stone
I will "never amount to anything" to you
And "that is why" I'm always alone
And who cares about me anyway?
I'll just "run back crying" like I do everyday...

Can't they see
That the only reason Trump has suddenly fallen in "love" with Mexico
And Christian rights is because it is getting closer to voting day?
Well you know that people are *SO dumb that they
Would go gay the "TRUMPY" way, believe anything the desperate
****** would have to say...

Being one to sit in judgement of the black, white, the gay or Arab,
To judge another upon history of failures, of isolated events.
Should one "remain a black man or black woman" when
"Everyone" is "sick of their antics," only focusing on the
Negative, a few compared to the whole in madhouse protest?
Should I see that gays are unfit for marriage, service, children,
Or other things just because of the background of the few?
Shall I wrap myself in this ignorance, and let us give into this?
Rather than except them in whole? Do blacks simply walk around
Town and all alone turn everything upside down? Does a ghetto
"Grow" in their wake? Do we not cradle this evil view, this sinister
Racist hate? Do we not point the finger of blame at the blacks for
Having to fly our confederate flags again and again, clearly not
In any manner displaying any white love for them? Shall we believe
One bad Apple spoils the bunch, even if there is one in every
Crowd, so it seems we must remove all who are in their presence,
Yet have nothing to do with their practice?

*PEOPLE DO...

In life you are a total nobody if you aren't:

A "socialite superstar" who sacrifices moral for popularity
A tech freak
A work-a-holic
A married man or woman (opposite *** only!)
An insensitive "cowboy"
A confederate flag sympathizer (incomparable to ******, I guess)
A religious fanatic
Someone who is so open minded they are open to bad or EVIL
Rich as hell
Extremely violent or purposefully "unaware of bullies"
Anyone who graduated with honors (3.5 or higher, please!)
Certain everyone should work and/or drive
Covered by expensive life insurance
Popular with dozens of "honest friends"
A gun owner who doesn't believe in the need for regulation
A cigarette smoker (but *** is a "bigger devil!")
Hating cross dressers
A nudist hater
Built with a six pack
Absolutely certain that every hippy is "the devil"
A nature hater
Willing to **** anything that moves (they are the pests)
Giving away all natural love for money
One who loves to go to war, a.k.a. "gung-**"
Gifted with perfected teeth
One to ignore the "little lower people" at work/school
A "brown noser," trying to even out-do your mentors
A cheeky person obsessed with being manager (I'm #1!)
Poised to kick someone out on a moments notice (no hustlers here!)
Always on "mommy" and "daddies" side, even if they went too far

The list goes on and on, but you need to be most of these to succeed!

I'm sorry I have been writing poems that don't agree with society
This is just how I feel, sorry to offend thee. I know I shouldn't
Disobey daddy and mommy, I was a bad BAD doggy.
But you see this is the real me.
I'm not able to be something I'm not.*
And if that's terrible than I guess I should rot (in hell)

This moon with a white gold aura,
And I saw it's pretty halo of love.
Don't go out tonight, your gonna
Get hunted by werewolf and stuff!

Here we are! The best of the worst.
When even fun becomes a chore,
Where rich people meet both triumph
And truth which were pre-made in store.

You can look at it right or look at it wrong,
This "winning new era" or what we're told all along,
We started out "regulated" and "anti-gun tries to steal all,"
But in the end you know assault rifles are of "great use"
In the mall. So we're all in the latest greatest time,
All of this madness and work to keep us all in line,
Where vagabonds are great and kings are low,
This time when the "saints" are actually lower than slime.
There shall come a day, I know not when, when this little
"Special" time shall be known as the abomination of men!

For all who read (or any who care)
I may somehow give up writing but no one
Would be aware.
After dozens of failed poems-sitting all alone,
"This is it!" I say and promise I won't write again,
There is much writers block so at least I come
Up with something NEW now and then.
But who cares about that?
Instead, we'll read re-hashed garbage
And praise it like it's priceless.
People make me sick, because they're
A vain sort that bring new meaning to the word
*Foolishness.

What is this bizarre strange artificial magic that

Surrounds us in 3D neon colors man-made

Amidst this dream theory of some sort

Of tasty goods that await me (not bait)

Smashed in between two slabs of meat

That are thick hands which are said hold the

Way to get all we could want or need

This absolute promise that it's all worth it

Being placed before me only just to see

I hold my sandwiched slice of meat

With cheese and pickles high

And shout for joy that it's mine to eat!

Thus now the smell of funky, I'm ******, hyper,
I saw beauty in so many infinitely different hues
(of Purple) I got a kind of wink from you and it truly
Killed off my lonely blues. You say I'm so "******* up,"
Eating, got the munchies for salty, savoury treats, feeling so ****
I'm ****, I swear, now rude, I'm on a level "so low" that you "would
Never go," and being so youthful and free, you must punish me,
But do you know what I have got to say?
*It sure was a whole lot of harmless childlike fun getting this way!

Would you attend a half-time funeral
Near the oak and pine branch at the cemetery,
Floral bouquet in hand, the last stand,
For the fool carelessly sitting there in the light
Of dark? Sorting through old newspapers,
Cigar in their mouth, unseen by such
That they remained happily in front of
Live TV watching the 7:00 news, amuse,
A vague smile, broken down besides
The window pane of a thousand tomorrows
Yet to come that never will. Piano dusty, keys musty.
You will see them at the "final hour of waiting,"
All come, when they finally reach you at full
Speed, to every end, to the same place you already
Arrived at in the light, and found the truth
Is not anything mystical or meaningless,
It's ironically simple, life is simply life.

I get out of my tent and brave the crisp frigid air,
The crystal clear skies all but beckon to me,
I see into forever an envisioned trance of stare,
This is the endless realm that was here for all to see.
Every last star sparkling,  Orions belt,
Even small stars are clearly set in stone,
To see what was beyond the unknown
Or how it all made sense the way I only felt alone,
To others so vain who want to do nothing but rob,
Rob her of creations, of all of her treasures, to make
Away with precious truths, take away what's
Left of the mysterious innocent love and pleasures.
To see her coming back to life like a sparkling
Phoenix rising in that gorgeous night sky,
This is what it means to be here, grasping this flash light,
Heading for a dark enough place so I can be farthest from
The blaring bright man-made light,
In a moment one can only imagine why
There is such an open loving sky,
In a world of death and decay, of war and hate,
Of madness, still innocence here remains. So alive...
To see the beginning of the end, to see all this
Under the vast and endless night sky, sparkling
Like glittering gems in her adventurous, playful eyes.

If it isn't popular, if it doesn't speak from some
Religious text, many men will ignore it.
There is nothing worse than not being Christian or being gay,
I'm hated, I'm ridiculed, I'm forgotten, I have no friends.
All the world knows this is the same at all ends.
If you aren't Christian, they act like you have AIDS.
In secret they avoid you. Some Christians are the worst haters,
They always point out how "sinners" are supposedly haters,
It does say in the Bible to avoid those who are non
Believers when it comes to being close friends or on
Any level other than business. I can see how Christianity
Breeds hatred if you must witch hunt others in the process.

The question is asked again and again,
Where do we come from? Who are we?
All throughout life men and women great
And foolish have attempted to explain this,
"In a moment all will be explained,"
"If you pay more money you will be cleansed,"
"Not worshipping is the realm of the insane,"
"With these soft spoken incantations you will mend,"
So where do we come from? What is all this?
From rushing water, breath of air, no need for
Recognition, it's all miles away in some deserted
Forest, to be left for later generations to forget,
Let this be an answer, why are we here? I shall
Obtain eternal life if I just hold this vile
Closer to my heart, a work of vain art,
This isn't life, this is the illusion of life,
The answer nestled in a small cave,
The birth of a newborn bird, a ripple in a pond
From a rock that fell during an earthquake,
A vague reflection of a deer in it's surface gleam,
All of this and more, the darkness of night,
Cloaking terrors real or imagined, what is this?
Maybe one day we will know? This is how fools
Are born, clinging to this or that, a drop of water
From a vile, an answer from a simple written text
That proves it's all happened thus far. This is why
Fools are born of this, opportunists, blinded by dust,
The great way of those who gather to take advantage,
This is where the greatest numbers of fools gather.
Far away, the beautiful forest, I may not know what brought
This all to life, but I do know what is worth saving
And what only fools shall save for themselves...

I know I'm just "stupid and crazy,"
But yea, I don't believe there's a god.
Also, I don't believe you want a "free country,"
That you are a cruel cult member who
Is not just here to get out the word, even as your
Bible says to, you're really just here to shove
What you call the truth in our faces,
Always making sure we've heard.

So why do we rush in so fast?
Man has come and gone,
Seen countless wars pass,
Bloodshed, violence, bombs and more,
If there was a way to make this
World a better place, we "need" war.
If we could have chosen differently,
Fear "forces our hand" every time to
Go out and use destruction on the enemy.
I sit here, dumbfounded and confused.
No one will ever find these three things popular:
Pacifism, love, patience. Yet without these we really lose.

There is a study of some interesting production
That says that continents drift, but I disagree,
Listen if you will to my theory it's of a sort
That is of a very different decree.
In the beginning a planetoid smashed into the earth,
It would later become our moon, it was larger at first,
This matchless form of damage caused a great impact,
From which would later be whole continents birth.
The lava that flowed would be enough to make
Whole parts of Pangea sink, and huge amounts of
Ocean would poor into, eventually be. But this is my theory,
Why when the damage was done the magma flowed
So much from such areas, it formed what is now the
Colorado mountains, as well as the whole of Australia,
Japan, and the Polynese. I know this is just a theory, but I'd put
All I have into simply wanting to believe. The truth is always
Out there, and this is simply what ideas that I conceived.

THE MOST POPULAR VIEW ON POLITICAL EARTH!

*Here it is: they believe by some decree that if a marriage
must happen at a church, no one by any means should
question this word: have you ever even heard?
They want to protect their supposed right to decide
not to help marry the gays-even from a distance!
Even if it's not at their church! They believe that somehow it's
by religious opinion they are outside the law, that
it doesn't need apply to them. "Be abused" all you want,
but if you want my thought, not to be blunt, it's just an
excuse to treat gays differently, get our way-when it
comes to marriage, how great their immaturity!

It's ok if you want to believe in God,
I won't stop you, all I want is a second
of your "ever-knowing time," to explain to me
how you figured out that we're all supposed
to know where we came from because of some
superstitious statement and some written signs.

My voice rings loud and clear in the musty cellar,
Through the halls of the vast dungeon.
I call for one of them to come down and speak
To me about the "others," the valued, the "wise,"
It's the same thing every night, this dungeon.
I hear a creak, must be nothing, I turn on the light,
Swear I saw a ghost, still nothing. Vaguely,
I've been searching for an answer to this riddle,
It will only take a few moments of your time
To sit there between the vagabond with the fiddle,
And the one who must be low as slime.
It's your call-I ask you-for your opinion,
You laugh in my face-if I seek your words-I'm a disgrace,
Riddled with problems, they were handed to me
From a distance. I can still hear you laughing in my face,
Even from afar, even from my un-chosen wife's place.

The truth is...*
I fall upon the ground
A seedling in your grass
Whether I willed or not
To come knocking again
And find myself at a loss
For not giving up was my
Plan and I still can never
Win a battle no one but
I would have even fought.

Indeed! All is a sea of flames...*

Her will be done, her kingdom come,
On earth as it is in nature, blessed is her
Only divine beauty. Strong her motherly
Hands which hold you, in being nurtured.
If only the will of what we call love
Could see how we lose control, turn away,
From the actual truth, because we could
Have saved ourself a rainy day.
But in this chaos man will learn, he can't
Be something bigger than the earth,
He can't defend us all from loss
That has existed since the dawn of time,
Always and forever in denial of his pride.