She shoots
she scores
she cheats
what a whore.

Her veins on fire, envy pierce her eyes
always on her mind, creeping in her sleep
lingering as she wakes, following
a trail of lies, deceit, guilt
a pain of a plan, pin in her hand,
blood fills the needle
a miss, can't feel the bliss.

a narrow tunnel, holding on to faith,
some hope, an ex lover knocks on her door
yearning for more, so much more,
between the sheets, then sleep

Kiss goodbye, time passes
her new found lover
says he loves her
and she says in back.

Retraction, a curse a spell
scared to say the wrong name
when she makes love,
is it truly love?

If it was, why is she searching for drugs?
Falsely accused
Of selling my cards in Macdonalds.
It was misunderstood.
I  was ganged up
Stories made up.
By people in the queue.
Or was it even true.
But I know the truth
We almost made it.
It was almost enough.
I was almost enough.
She almost lived.
He almost woke up.
They almost did it.
But it wasn't enough,
Only almost.
Carter Ginter Jul 11
I started writing a poem about her
And the beginning sounded like ours
The one where I told you that
Words aren't enough to define us
And yes words are limiting
They also have a way of telling you more
If you pay close enough attention
When "I love you endlessly"
Turns to "ILY" and
"I can't imagine my life without you"
Turns to weeks of sitting alone
And all the "I miss you"s
Turn to "how are you"s
As if you even cared
Your actions never matched your language
Were your words too limiting for you?
When I was still always there for you
And all you did was break promises?
Were the words you spoke too constricting?
At least that would explain why you broke them
Though still not why you said them
Maybe you were afraid to let me down
Or afraid to really be seen
Or just so self-absorbed that you didn't care
That you couldn't care
About yourself
Or about me
My mind races with memories torn up and scattered around with my tornado of destruction
Self-hate lingers in my veins and I fight for breath to fill my crumbling lungs with something other than sorrow
My body weighs heavy with emptiness and with bruises
I soak in continuous numbness
I feel nothing
I ache to feel something other than nothing
Insecurities chew me down like I chew my nails when insecurities chew me down.

I cry.
I won't lie.
I won't hide.
I won't justify.

It's my life.
I can be sad when I want to;
Mad when I want to;
Glad when I want to -
I'm expressing myself,
You'll see only what you want to see,
Believe only what you choose,
View it from your own perspective.

Put yourself in my shoes;
Just for a minute.
Can you fill them?
So don't judge me as if;
You would react better;
To all the circumstances;
If you were me.
I'm tougher than you could ever dream to be;
So look away and don't give any judgemental words to me.
Thanks for reading
Aa Harvey Jul 7
Split Personalities Inside My Head

All the voices in my head,
Have now become my only friends.
The only ones who seem to care;
The only ones who knew me back then.

Lost alone with me, myself and I.
Hello, Bonjour, Guten tag and Hi.
They’re there for me when things aren't alright;
They’re there for me when I feel on cloud 9.

Technically mad, but never bored;
By all of them I am adored.
My head is full with the old and young;
They’re my friends, my family, my only loved ones.

They’re all so different, yet they’re all the same.
They’re all made up; they’re a part of my brain.
But they act so real, in the way I behave;
I live four different lives every day.

One is good and one is bad
And one I believe is a woman

And the final voice inside head,
Is the only one who speaks reason.
The only one who speaks the truth to me;
The only one who I can believe.

You see this final voice inside my head, I know is the real me.

(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
bret Jul 7
it rained like
god was mad

and he was
make no mistake.

the rain brings out
the worst
in me.

but when it
stopped, i saw
his promise

like a drawing
like art
in my sea.

it may be tired
but it hit me like
the punch i needed.

i am deep in the
rain, but he
made a promise.

i havent seen
the stars in
so long.

or maybe i
havent bothered
to look.
Amanda Jul 6
Your hands shake, we stand outside,
Cold fingers gently grazing my cheek,
It's cloudy, the wind rages around us,
Sky looks desolate and bleak.

When you strip me with your eyes I cry,
Scrubbing skin with my sleeve,
I hate for you to see me like this,
This ache I cannot relieve.

Withdraw from your cell, hold me,
Only you ease my pain,
Told me it would be okay,
Peace I cannot attain.

To experience this void is torture,
No happiness to be had,
Being apart from you so long,
Is slowly driving my heart mad.
Written 1-28-15 about my then-boyfriend the day he went to school for a year
Chris Blaze Jun 28
Silly dreams,
Thoughts of perfection.
No mistakes,
No errors,
Just the perfect dream.
The realization hits me.
It is just a dream.
No more.
Reality hits hard.
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