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Yeah, shining though
Jealous, but have history with me smiling though
Gave anything you need, yet spit on my name though
Gave myself some space, I know the lies you told
Used to be there for you at your highest lows
Used to come over just to watch episodes on HBO
Now it’s just silent, the convo’s are more personal
Drink all the energy vs. pour life for growth
No longer will I be your shoulder to cry on
All the love given from you was just for show
All the love became false, this not my first rodeo
Navigate through life, hoping the transition flows
Don’t know where I’ll end up as I grow old
Maybe the quicker I grow old, God will call me home
Last time I thought like this I was home alone
Asking the Lord to take me home, feeling unknown
Thinking people would like me better on my tomb stone
But I’ve grown, just not on my own, God set the tone
Up 5am with urgency, sticky note on the mirror reminding me
“Be good to people, be good to yourself organically”
Aiming to let go of the past that has burden me
Focus only towards today vs tomorrow and tread carefully
Another chance to shine, in hope my enemies take it personally
I take it to heart, demonstrates the desire to succeed fearlessly
The vision board written for God will create wonders for me
My legacy will leave a legacy, a generational love
A blood line of chosen angel warriors build ready to serve throughout eternity
A fearful reflection for my enemies who develop insecurities
Behind closed doors, falling short in hatred worshiping
Don’t need to worry, cause their views doesn’t concern me
The faithful ones will learn how to strive for peace through me
As I continue to strengthen my obedience in discipline maturely
Living everyday as my last under purpose with authority  
My ambition is centered around competition & collective security
Take some time off to focus more on recovery
I hope someday the grind retires me & the reward humbles me
By the end of 2023 I’ll give you a full summary
Dead lover Jan 29
Love me better than I've ever loved myself,
For I don't believe, anyone will ever love me.
I'm trying to be brave,
As much as I can be.
It breaks my heart.
How unworthy of your love could I have been?
I love you.
I'm trying to butcher the butterflies, but that process hurts too.

Is it too much to ask to be loved back?
give my dreams for somebody else
to make them come true
I'm too paralyzed by my fears
they'll just rot with me
till my death and doom
I wish I was braver

anyways this is my 30th published poem :)
Bipolar Poet Jul 2022
love; an essential
but only the brave do truly love themselves

love; those who hurt you, spoke ill of you
made them feel less of yourself

love; isn't written in pen but in part
what we draw out into a beautiful picture
—in the end of pencil.
abhinav May 2022
New day, with dawn of rising sun
off the docks, cruising towards horizon
light and breezy all, felt like blessed by Poseidon
Skinny dipping for happiness, hope I find some.

Many I got bon voyage, many I curses,
many were on board, many kraken lurks.
Head straight, high sail,
ignored all, focused on right trail.

Pleasant journey until now, premonitions around,
dark clouds, high tide, ensuing panic in crowd,
blinded became Travis, undermined the upcoming crisis
Darkness engulfed, realized too late, next moment...  

**** hit the fan down came the rain,
followed by storm and a huge hurricane.
Bulldozed through, but that's just iceberg's tip,
it's gonna be titanic soon, already feel like losing grip.

Beyond horizon, can't see,
calm sea or whirlpool will there be.
All I know, strength of these sails,
sailors and that mysterious gentle gale.
It's your journey, your path to traverse, unique for all, unique are huddles, none will  know your struggle, but don't bow down before seemingly infinite troubles, just buckle down and aim for beyond.
Believe in yourself when none other, for you are your true companion.
Sometimes it feels like I am writing this kind of **** to convince myself  rather than expressing my thoughts, it's like a attempt to self preach, like me trying to solidify these thoughts hoping that it'll bring about a change in me...sad me:((
calypso Jan 2022
warriors did not build
there barriers to be broken
made with a brave stone  
no push could penetrate

were an army of 86
to pull its length,
its fall would cause eruptions.
the land would be calm
never to experience destruction

where did they come from?
why do they build blocks?
how does an army dare
to divide the great wall?
my walls are my study block. i cant get myself to study for anything and I have my exams coming up. nice poem I got out of it.
My Dear Poet Jan 2022
Better to be
than not be at all
Better to hang
than to fall
Better to be looked over
than over looked
Better to be baked
than overcooked
Better to frown
at the ground
than smile
at a falling sky
Better a toothache
than a heartache
or be found
with heart break
and die
so better to live
and to give
than take
like pancake
is better with
ice cream
than icing
on cake
Nikita Jan 2022
Seeping through the walls,
Slamming open doors,
Her past haunts her.

Her mouth is taped shut,
With a growling gut,
Shadows taunt her.

She knows that she's here,
With nothing to fear,
Her heart ignores her.

Her lungs force air,
Trying not to stare,
She's in control now.

Scuttering away,
The shadows decay,
Back into memory.
Battling psychosis with PTSD is terrifying but not impossible.
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