I looked in the mirror
and saw this girl
There she stood looking ever so tired.
She had messy hair
and patches under her eyes;
She looked at me
and I could see pain she disguised.
I didn't even recognize her at first ;
Then I looked a little closer
And I saw a warrior ever so strong.
She's didn't save anyone but herself.
She saved her own self
from the clutches of the demons,
The demons that played with fire.
Everyday was a battle but she never gave up.
Here she is standing stronger than ever.
My own reflection, that's me;
I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.
I'm a warrior, both brave and strong.
The girl in the mirror is who I wanna become.
The moment right before.
That's THE moment.
What it's all about.
Will I? Won't I?
I know I will.
The breath in, deep
Before the leap!
Darkness. Falling, aaah; splash!
Pop. Glug glug, gulp; yumm!
Vasoconstriction and focus.
Followed immediately by
Vasodilation and calm.
Take the leap. Off the dock. Into love.
I learned how to lose, how to stand all the pain,
Even though I could scream, I act all the same.
You tell me I’m brave, that I have to stay strong,
But what you don’t see,
Is my dying soul.
Jump to take off
That’s the first step after all
But what if I fall?
Guided by thick blankets of fog; Morning-time
Anxious thinking remains her close ally during this journey
The wooing of the spring winds clamber fourth
And as the dire dredge towards Santiago de Compostela carries on; she stops
Her pursuit of a goal takes a momentary crash
This heroine remains nameless, but only to a select few
As she paces along the lonesome road, where silence sleeps
A single tear, channelled from her right eye; falls
Her map makes for confused reading, a blinded book
Darting around for new meaning, a whisper of life is summoned
A townie owl, a juvenile of sorts
Sits atop a moss laden branch, its eye’s so wide
And in this moment of hesitation, the circular sun rises from its slumber
Bursting to life with energy
The road awakens
A passage? Perhaps
She marches on; hopeful
Shades of purple
Come out easily
Purple displays strength well known
Those types of arms that feel like home
She writes in cursive
They translate in depth, you sink
Leagues and oceans upon paper and ink
Fights the wild things
They mistake her for one of their own
And though untamed she may be
She stays vigil, her own she oversees
Shade always seems the same
A book in volumes under lock and key
If you read what bled through you might worry, so
She gives you only what you need to know
Different hues now and then
She will always be your solid ground
Even when her world is crumbling ‘round
When following your heart.
Don't listen loud noises.
Just go, don't stop!
Your life, your rules, your choices.
And even if you scared.
But ask yourself exactly.
You never know if you don't try.
It better trying with regrents.
Than sit in little safty places.
I’m scared to say yes to you because then who will I be ? What is to be loved unconditionally ? To not worry if someone is prettier or smarter or a threat to me. What is it to have our own house, in our own town with our own things. I have waited my whole life to be happy , and here it is infront of me the chance , why can’t I grab it ? Why can’t I say yes and run with open arms and leave the past behind , is it because all of the trauma and sadness has become part of me , because I don’t know how to accept stability without feeling like that’s it. That’s the end of it all , how can it be the end? It’s never been the end of the sadness before ? How can I trust you won’t leave like the rest. Build me up into comfort then only look at me when I’m undressed. Laying with me but longing to lay with others too. What if one day you wake up and realise I’m just not for you. I’m scared ... I’m scared but I want to be brave, it seems you were carved into the exact thing I need , the thing that would have saved me years ago. Please hold on. Please wait for me. I just need a little push I could never find anyone as good as you. They don’t exist. Your the light I never had , just please don’t go but take the darkness away slowly because the brightness hurts my eyes.