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Em MacKenzie Jul 31
You’re six feet tall and more feet apart
from anyone you claim to be close to.
Struggling to breathe and a defunct heart,
in denial of prophecy; inevitably it came true.

You didn’t even pretend you ever cared for me,
we both know we’re not the ones you wanted to see.
If only you could realize what was important in life,
maybe you wouldn’t face the close in strife.
If only you could realize what this was all about,
maybe your funeral wouldn’t be cardboard cut outs.
In your last breath of air,
was there regret or despair?

It’s the ones that you don’t peg for depth
that seem to never be fully understood.
I’ve watched how easily they’ve wept,
and immediately reverted back to wood.

You didn’t even pretend you ever cared for me,
couldn’t care less; we’re supposed to be family.
If only you could realize what was important in life,
then you wouldn’t have replaced your kids and wife.
If only you could look back on all those years,
maybe you’d hold your kids instead of your beers.

No invite for dining with the dead,
no faking pleasantries unpleasantly.
Breaking promises along with the bread,
and never present even presently.
No invite for dining with the dead,
ignoring a mess while eating messily.
Smelling copper while tasting lead,
feeling separated both separately.

In your last breath of air,
did you notice we weren’t there?
In your last breath of air,
did you start to care?

No invite for dining with the dead,
no faking pleasantries unpleasantly.
Ignoring last call and ignoring bed,
my mental exhaustion is kicking in mentally.
No invite for dining with the dead,
ignoring a mess while eating messily.
The scene will remain within my head,
and my refusal to be desperate has grown desperately.
There’s more than one way to stuff a turkey.
Em MacKenzie Nov 2020
I walked into that room and saw you’re body lying there,
I barely recognized you; lacking life, muscle and hair.
I looked into your open eyes like I never did before,
and spoke looking at your face instead of averting gaze to floor.
If they asked me to identify or claim, I can’t say that I could,
I never truly knew you or felt the connection that I should.
You were given the curse of cancer,
but gifted the knowledge and time,
but did you ever even think that the answer
could be to reach out your hand to mine?
I had so much I never said,
maybe you had the same.
I’ll remain running the sentences in my head,
but never question if I should feel blame.
For a child to not know a parent is easy as night and day,
as much as I should’ve known you, you should’ve known me the same way.
Now my sister and I are the only ones here,
the only ones with your name and blood,
and it shouldn’t even be a question or fear
if we were ever truly loved.
11/06/1958 - 10/25/2020
K E Cummins Jun 2020
You have left me dazed and confused
Lost in my own imaginings
And if you see me wander
Cease, desist, let me be
I am not here for you
I am unto myself
A lone wild thing
Untampered and forlorn

On the shore of a sea of ice
I stood awestruck by tears
At the sky as it moved
Birds specked in gold sunset light
Blue, the colour of grace

Black ink branches, sky
Sky flows and knells in vast empty space
A hollow where the birds sing
The wilderness of my mind
Meets the wildness of the grass
And folds back into sanity
Carlo C Gomez May 2020
familial sea
asteroid debris
plagued black sun
the chain undone
derivation drought
acetylene light burnt out
sands of a surname
run through veins as aspartame
in departed sons & daughters
blood is thicker than water
but drains ever so faster
Karijinbba Jun 2019
Just like Goddess Kali
I am feared when not
understood
my enemies know my loving passion are my kids
those demons slander me
fearing the mother
goddess in me
I gave life and inadvertedly heartbroken waived it
I give life
birthed my children
against all adds
motherhood apeaces me
injustice enrages my dance
I am Goddess Kali Karijin
~~
Precious daughters
Elena Rose Jeanette fear not
I save I protect I write
it's my frenzied dance
surounded by demons ferocious
you and me won many a
gruesome wars
to protect you three your
children alike my light
I have deamed
Remember Mother Kali
I love you miss you
more and more
and for you my life I lay
~~~.
The goddess mother
(excerpt)
~estranged from kids ~
~~~~~~
"The stars are blotted out,
    The clouds are covering clouds,
It is darkness vibrant, sonant.
    In the roaring, whirling wind
Are the souls of a million lunatics
    Just loose from the prison-house,
Wrenching trees by the roots,
    Sweeping all from the path...
The sea has joined the fray,
    And swirls up mountain-waves,
To reach the pitchy sky.
    The flash of lurid light
Reveals on every side
    A thousand,
thousand shades
Of Death begrimed and black."

love & motherhood apeace me.
~~~~~~~
By: Karijinbba
inspired
by Hindi ink Durga-Kali
Shiva Lord's Wife
revised 06-5-19
~~~~
the poem shows how the whole universe is a stage for the goddess's terrible and frenzied protector dance.
only motherhood
apeaces the mother in me
estranged motherhood ends me.
thats why childless foe slander me
~~
my grown children imagine
their enemy's darkness in me.
~~
Durga is Kali Lord Shivas wife
represent good & bad apeaced
by being Loved cherished
and motherhood instict
RH O negative Mothers like me
may abort on medical evil advice
if no Rhogam vaccine is
affordable by Mother to be.
not that we ****** child to be.
Yolanda May 2019
You left like I wasn’t reason to stay
Not being heartless I’m just using my heart less

All I wanted was your time but that was a crime

Wrapped up in misery you became a mystery
Two peas in a pod estranged from one another
Almost inevitable
All you had to do was stay.
Melanie May 2019
You are estranged.
We haven't talked in years,
and although I've invited you
you haven't invited me.

I've tried, and tried, and tried again.
Graduation, competitions, concerts, and plays.
You weren't waiting in the wings
or sitting in the stands, the audience.

No, you were at home.
Your lakeside house with big windows,
with your real granddaughters, cousins, nieces.
Your real family.
While I was wondering what I did to deserve this.

But I kept trying.
I kept calling, inviting.
You left me in the dust,
constantly leaving me with your voicemail,

Hi, we can't come to the phone right now,
but if you leave a message we'll get back
to you as soon as we can. Thanks! Bye.

I try to unfollow, unfriend.
But that would only put me further away
from cousins I don't know.
People I've never met.

I give up.
I'm done trying.
If you still care,
the inviting's up to you.
For years, people in my family have wanted nothing to do with me. It's not as bad as it used to be, but every time I'm getting ready to see them for a few hours I panic and wonder if it'll be the last time I see them, if they'll decide to cut me off again.

This poem has been submitted to Telluride Institute's Fischer Prize contest.
Casey Jan 2019
He watches me close.
"Family," I say, "lose hope."
For I am not you.
For those who are expected to become someone other than who they truly are.
Yanamari Nov 2018
Bring it on
I will fight
Let your words loose upon my
Infant heart
Whip and whip again
Gaze at me with your
Estranged lens
Leave me to fend for myself
Let me hurt
Whether or not I shall rise again
I will be the victor
Of my end

My dreadful..
Dreadful
End...

Be gentle
Show me your hand

Be gentle...
Lighten your gaze and
Uncloud your lens
Let me love you
Before the end..

For estranged
With estranged
From estranged
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