It feels like particles are peeling apart
Connecting
Separating as they please
There is undeniable space growing in my heart
Observable to who peeks and sees

Fate to blame I have no doubt
Touching tears that won't mend
Beneath skin circuits start to short-out
Barriers between emotions blur and blend

Real is rare so bare all imperfections
Fake the majority of what others share
Everywhere I go is overdissection
Judgement is blatantly unfair

Which only adds to distress
Taken without one sound
Cork up inconvenient emotions unless
They overflow
Then I'm drowned

You cannot imagine what it's like
Kills self-esteem to reflect
Each time negativity strikes
Is impossible to correct

Bottle after bottle emerges emptied
Sink in a sea of distraction
Forever smoky air will not recede
Chilly dreams prevent satisfaction

None of our dreams visible anymore
What are we doing wrong?
Many bad decisions
Too many to ignore
I guess failure's where we belong

We will never be proud living like this
We are in darkness's constant shadow
Sins overtake any chance we have at bliss
Dragging troubles in tow

Trust we will be able to grow
Takes years to heal wounds deep
Bridges over teardrops that flow
Seconds wasted we could not keep

To conclude
Retain a sliver of hope
Though happiness may be lost
I build and maintain ways to cope
Stay warm amidst the permanent frost

Poor people have different perception than rich people

A big understanding of value of things
We are affected by the cost of things

Rich people pay for cable TV
HBO
TIVO
Etc.
Watch only three channels a couple times a week

Have pools maintained year-round so it can be swam in twice
Laid next to bikini-clad Barbies on the handful of days their social calendar falls empty
With a temperature range of 68°-72°F
Bragged about in casual conversations just enough
So that every ear in a five-mile radius knows the cute Puerto Rican pool boys name

A mistake to them nothing more than an apology with a price tag attached
No problem is too big to bribe away

But less privileged folk know all too well how cause and effect work
Because we face the consequences of our actions
Big
Small

We go to libraries for entertainment

We do not cook more than we can eat
Because groceries cost too much money to waste

Wealth does not necessarily make you an ignorant or bad person
I think poverty does help make you a more conscientious person

Earthlings live and lose
Standard human protocol
No one is exempt

I am missing a large portion of my heart
A lot inside that's been slashed apart
Forfeited innocence in order to get high
Need to understand it
Need to know why

Need a magnifying glass to see the clues
I'm free to find all the ways that before I did lose
Thoughts kept me on the brink of drowning every day
In the nightmare failing to take me away

I ate and overgorged on rich fantasies
Like colored candy ingested impossibilities
Needed more than temporary flavor
Needed a taste I could always savor

Feed my demons with an abundance of doubt
Awakened in body inside and out
Infestation of insecurity
Like plankton multiplying
Blooming in sea

Floor barely visible underneath clustered stuff
Ask myself why I don't care enough
Brain needs rewiring in the worst kind of way
Stopped feeling human
Instead a statue made of clay

To fix all that is broken is an unrealistic concept
Dance around things I'm not ready to accept
Cloak my open wounds
Hide pain that's only mine to know
Pretend underneath is as undamaged as the parts that show

I can feel warmth of your shape
Words I have always said escape
An everlasting dawning realization
We have such rare creation
Can feel my growing need
Love the way my heartbeats speed
All mistakes fade away around you
Catch up the consequences that followed through
None helped me see with clearer eyes
Pushing further yet I still return
It's **** good exercise
Underwater
A dream
Loudly exhaling steam
I hear snores exit your mouth
Far away travelling south
Distant echoes
Nights spent together in the past
Swim through like fish but get caught in nets cast
If dragged from your arms across the earth to roam
I will find the way back no matter the distance until I am home

During the harvest of hearts
Budding fruit of desire
What is rooted deep
Will reap to admire

I am not sorry for anything
There were problems easy to see
That's why I am letting you know
I am not even sorry for me

The sun does not set
When euphoria rises
In our little world

I have drank *****
Down to very last droplet
At bottles bottom

I miss days we knew before
Both of us were free
Blissfully naive
Unaware
Our lives were so easy

I took it for granted
Then it went to hell
Would give up everything
To again be under that magic spell

Back when each day was happy
Along with each night
A simple conversation
Occurred without a fight

I miss not carrying weight of the world
Weightless when we'd kiss
Those people we used to be
Would be shocked it's come to this

How did we let potential slip away?
Is this what we're destined to be?
Is it possible to attain
The future young hearts used to see?

The outline of your body my favorite shape
Yearning to feel lips touch my necks nape
I had danced before
Never standing still
Around you atoms tango with an unsurpassable thrill
Your words are melodies spoken with ease
Cells waltzing with eachother doing what they please
And let me take a moment
Explain how I feel
Sound of your laughter tingles like an electric eel
The rain and clouds do not feel still like bad weather
Sun shining in hearts as long as we're together
To life you have brought enlightenment and love
Souls seem to fit together better than a glove
All woes from the past depart when you're near
When you leave they take some time to reappear
I rise in the morning without seeing your face
There is nothing I hate more than the space
This must be fate
Destiny
Our lost souls meant to be

I did not know I could fall apart
Until the instant I felt your touch
All I wanted was to have you
I guess that was too much
 
In the midst of attention
I should have realized
All of your good intentions
Were bad ones in disguise
 
I was blinded by your words
Way too easily deceived
I should have stayed away
Instead I trusted you and I believed
 
You did not think about your lies
Until they were shredded apart
I saw who you really were
Not before you broke my heart
 
Now it is too late to turn around
Could never be the same
Think you still know who I am?!?
Have no right to make that claim
 
I used to be full of life
Carefree
No defenses to disarm
Fear has taught me not to love
It will always bring me harm
 
You have changed the way I think about
What I know
What I feel
Showed me that despite what they say
Sometimes wounds never heal
 
I still want you in my life
Although I do not know why
Since the day you entered
You have only made me cry
 
You pushed me around each day
I gave you total control
Let you manipulate my feelings
Without you I wasn't whole
 
I sacrificed own happiness
Though it drove me insane
Managed to convince myself
You were worth the pain
 
Time passed away since then
I don't know what to do
How could I forgive and forget
After hell you put me through?
 
I am lost in my own emotions
Drowning in a deep empty sea
It is not you I miss tonight
It's who you pretended to be

I spent most my life fitting in
Shapeshifter in my own skin
To squeeze to whatever size
Matched the proportion of everyones lies

Torn between choices
Move forward or go back home
Which one up to you

I have been braver
Fool ashamed to be frightened
What shouldn't matter

Memories comfort
Thoughts of your love keep me warm
A mental blankie