pnkrck 15h

mommy I was born with the taste of blood in my mouth
tired from the moment i touched your arms
from fighting the fact that i already knew
i wouldn’t live to their expectations

i was raised with a fist made with steel
that came down on me in waves
mommy please i told you
i was tired from the fight

mommy dearest you are a fire bleeder
a destroyer of all the things i held close
i just want to sleep mommy please

i owe you nothing
you’ve taken everything
i think there's a word for it,
that explains the constant fear that i have
when you walk into the room

Why can't my liver filter thoughts like it does with alcohol?

It would save me the trouble of all the money I've spent to free myself of bad decisions,

There is so much formality within a sober moment, while my drunkenness speaks freely,

My brain doesn't erase moments like alcohol does, yet my liver puts up a fight reminding me to think,

Fantasizing over an image created by theses slurred and blurred overzealous eyes,

I am attracted to bars like teachers are to mls style, and to this day I'm still not sure which one has been more beneficial.

Looking down the road of allowing glass, I measured my state of mind to pick my poison,

Tequila adds a flower to a withering soul, vodka snuffs out the light where it gets to bold, whiskey fakes the fight with its bros, while gin loosens the bones and wine your emotions, at last we have beer a truth serum more powerful than love,

What they all take is feeling, a small price to learning what we see in the refection is really something we refuse to collude with.

My liver is always amazed, the amount of control I give to it, whilst the hand with a drink in it stays steady,

The other acquires shame, controlled by a freedom of released inhibitions,

If I could escape the safety of the dinner lights for the missing love that I thought drive me here,

My liver is alone, in the battle, like one soldier who's realized that their command center threw them into a death trap and their enemies are mindless zombies of fallen memories,

My toast is not alone, followed by smiles and condolences, significant enough to convince everyone, maybe one more.

All the lines in this poem were written while I was intoxicated throughout last year and while sober I formed then into this piece, thanks for reading

Duties were tormenting me
like Tetris pieces raining
at an impossible speed.
I made chamomile tea,
and waited for the “GAME OVER” sign.

A man with no face
went to the edge of chaos
once I fell asleep.
He demanded a blanket
from the winter, a song
from Mercury, and a smile
from me.
And arranged them beautifully
without gaps
like Tetriminos making a line,
and disappearing
as I woke up.

Hannah 5d

Medicate a generation,
So no one wakes up or asks any questions;
I'll take the pills because the truth doesn't make this worth living,
and I'll take the drugs because I'm tired of living a lie.

Cold winter nights w/o you
Has become something new for me
No cuddling
No more your alcoholic scent
No lovemaking
I've become content with you
Although you may think otherwise
No fussing
No unnecessary arguments
No headaches
Cold winter days w/o you
Are simply perfect in a way for me
Only calmness
Only quietness
Only simple
Bye, bye to you
The love is no longer there
The care is with someone new
The lack of lust is bright
Cold winter days w/o you
Are days I've longed for since you left.

letting go of a bad ex

A father is the man to pick you up when you fall,
not bury you in the ground.
A father is the man to help you grow,
not keep you trapped and bound.

When your father is there, you should feel safe, and not scared out of your mind.
When my father is here, I run and hide, because with him I feel confined.

While yours is the sun, shining and warm, mine is the frightful night.
He stalks me like prey, and eats me away,
for his bark is worse than his bite.

Never a finger he lays upon me,
yet his words dissolve my soul.
I become small and fragile, and wish not to live,
for I am no longer whole.

There's a silence between us
unspoken of
a void,
if I dare say.

There are times
we may be close
but we are more unknown
to each other
than we really think.

why are you so distant?
I understand
that you understand
that people come and go

why push me away?
I want to say
that it's okay
for longer
I want to stay.

I understand
that you're use to losing people
and you're no longer afraid
should I leave you.

I do not know what goes on
in the depths of your mind
in the abyss of this great sea.

I do not know
the battles you've faced
the demons you have fought
the nightmares that choke
the reality out of you.

I may not know
what it feels like
to have severe anxiety,
to have panic attacks every once in a while,
to have social problems,
the list will go on...

I may not know everything about you
But I know this:
you are the most honest person
I have ever met.
And this honesty,
honestly, I must say,
It is bittersweet.

Truth be told,
I may not like everything you say
But I accept it.

What is truth if it doesn't hurt?

I don't know
why you are silent.
Maybe you figured,
without me
or anybody for that matter
that you'll be strong.

Don't get me wrong,
I know you are strong.
But you are also wrong
about one thing.

You may think I will leave you
Maybe, but still
not immediately
not yet.

I will keep waiting
right here, if you need a friend.
If time should separate us,
or you push me away and grow cold,
I'll still be here.

I'll still be
your friend.

I'm still here.
Julie C Smith Jun 15

In the cradle
Growing big
Getting old
It's a circle
Will you live again?
Die again?
You're too old
Says your husband with his after work meeting
You're too young
Says your locker full of pills
Do the surgery
Become a plastic doll with a sad face
Look at the happy girl
You never were
Doll house
Cry baby
3 A.M.
Writing poems
Think of you
No way out
Movie Scenes
Live your life backwards
Maybe you'll catch your dreams
A wasted life
It could have been different
You drop the chances
When they're in your hand
Two one way streets making me
Believe I'm on the Interstate
Hurry up
Tell me good news
Live with me
I am waiting
Too much blood
Baby please
Spend forever with me
Don't let me go
Like you said you never would
Blonde is out
I'm obsolete
Love her once
But fuck me twice
What you do comes back to you
Was it worth it?
Don't make me live the wrong life
By doing it yourself
Don't put me on the shelf
Make me your only wife
Walk the crossway
Join me
In Death
So I can say

Written at 3 am
Mane Omsy Jun 13

If I had wings
I'd fly away from dramas
If I had fins
I'd swim away from them
That doesn't mean I'm weak
I won't have time to hate
Searching for admiration
I wouldn't have time to dig
My own grave
Humming sweet songs
Inside my head
Draining dirt from my mind
A free bird in the air

High as a bird
Brielle Jun 12

They say to face your problems;
My problems are like big ugly goblins;
No body knows how to solve em.

They say to face your problems;
A majority of them are solemn;
I can do nothing but prey to be awesome.

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