My poetry is open and bare on the examination table
While my brain falls into place in the exsanguination cradle
Pieces fit together like a monster from the old world fables
Set up to disassociate the Kanes from the Ables
We're all meant to die
There's no harm in asking why
Self harm, drugs left in the arms, premeditation, self incrimination
It won't matter when we're stitched up in a Y
Theres hidden meanings in every line
A chance to put aside all the woes and keep feelings burning inside
When things are on the decline
I can write down facts and theories
Like self investigation as to why I'm feeling weary
No Overbearing intoxication here just a rough cut heart of ice melting due to overheating and slipping liquidation
as the watercolours bleed into the canvas of the sky
see the freckles of stars and constellations
in the momentary warmth that you feel, comfort; safety
it's beautiful isn't it?
see the white clouds
bright and ever so superior
stretching across the horizon
the area that belonged to the dark seas
but no longer
ever since the clouds claimed their territory
smiling, careless clouds
that the world we live in is like sugar
sweet and pleasant and utterly pure
that the sugar isn't crumbling
bit by bit
piece by piece
dissolving into sticky, empty nothingness
see the cracks on the ground
tell yourself that they're only on the surface
that they can be easily mended with cement
rehearse the parts you're meant to play
a good sibling, child, friend
act as though you put others before yourself
as though you think their happiness is more important than yours
as though you'd sacrifice your life
because you're selfless, aren't you?
the rehearsed banter and
the perfected smiles and
the expertly timed eye roll -- cock your head to the left squinted eyes
glare for half a second before rolling them
and watch the stars dissipate
as the haze clouds over it
from all the pollution
problems that we promised we would fix
and the sky soon settles into an eternal darkness
look straight ahead.
see eyes and noses and lips
some familiar and others not
see sincere smiles and forced smiles
see the world we live in
beautiful and wretched and human
did we make it this way
or did it make us this way
see the people around us
the eyes and noses and lips that form faces
the sincere smiles and forced smiles that form images
we're all beautiful and wretched and human
and there's absolutely everything and nothing we can do to change anything
look up or down or straight ahead or whatever
(maybe that's all we can really do)
be beautiful and wretched and human
be everything you've ever wanted to be
or everything you've never wanted to be
it's okay to be okay
it's okay to not be okay
it's okay to just be
Beginning of the end.
Seems crazy to think about the days when
You couldn't get enough of being my boyfriend.
A million text messages everyday you'd send,
Now I'm lucky if I get ten.
What are we doing? Are we playing pretend?
Used to get a "Good morning, beautiful" when I'd wake and
Everything's divided between now and then.
I've got my bags packed but I can't seem to leave.
I try so hard not to doubt because I want to believe
Because I don't want you to go away but we've
Become something I never dreamed.
Can I play naive?
But when I feel you pulling away it's hard to breathe.
This doesn't make sense, let's think a minute please...
These days, I listen to break up songs,
But I keep a happy beat so I can sing along.
It's not all sad, sometimes we talk for so long,
And it feels like we're playing ping-pong,
Was I going crazy for thinking it was wrong?
But then I watch the clock, and I realize you're gone.
So I find my own thing to do,
Seems like you only want me when I pull away too.
Right now your edges are bleeding blue,
So I wait for you to change your hue.
As I'm lacing up my walking shoes,
Where are you?
You got a new tattoo,
I guess now you're disappearing into Blink 182.
One day I'll see you clear in my rear-view,
But today I hold on because it's hard to say adieu.
By Arcassin Burnham
Mister Mr. Spare me the cheap talk and all
Of the schemes,
I'm not amused by your dilemma of sneaking
I'm just waiting for all of these nightmares to
Turn into dreams,
The problems will occur wherever you are by
I'm glad to be a teacher,
I hate to be learning,
While gravity is holding us down,
Inside we're burning,
So I lock myself in a freezer to prevent being grilled,
Didn't ask to hear about your gossip,
Please save me the grief.
I'm glad to be a teacher,
Together we swim,
Skin touching satin skin
Fingertips grazing knees and thighs
As my engine of a heart enters overdrive with glee
Her breath keeps me alive against the strain of our instincts
My breath catches and my body contorts
Until I am suddenly entangled with a hooded figure instead
His heavy limbs pin me against the wall and his hands greedily search through my home
I realize I am being robbed but
He's not a stranger
His lips warm my neck and I choke on his telltale cologne as his hands hastily break through the deepest closets that house my innocence, my treasures, and no matter how sternly I refuse, he shoves through the doors until he finds exactly what he wants
I thought it was hidden
I thought it was safe
I thought it was mine
He smiles and lavishly thrusts his hands into my special box
Between heavy breaths,
for giving him access to my prized possession,
To my heart
when he asked for a taste
I refused. But
He insisted and
And pushing against the wooden door until it splintered and snapped and he could enter with
Once inside, I had no choice
but to let him manhandle my possessions,
I can never again close that door that He broke
To fulfill his needs and
To satisfy his craving
Although he leaves with satisfaction dripping from his palms
I know it won't last forever
His hunger will return again,
And no matter how much I invest in new locks
and thicker blockades around my special space
He has already stolen a taste of the core of my emotions that
That door served to protect
He will return again,
with a sense of entitlement to my insides
And I won't fight back
Because his sweaty palms and greasy skin have already leaked onto the pieces
Even those he had not yet touched
My pure and personal secret now leaves nothing but bitterness on my tongue and stains on my body
I still feel his hands, not hers
I hear his breathing
Feel his weight pressing against me,
His hands destroying my body
I become hysterical and
Tears burn my eyes and stain our sheets.
I see the panic in her eyes
She doesn't know
She doesn't know I'm dirty and broken
She doesn't know why
And I can't
I would be too
But I'm dead inside.
I have a fear
A sense of doubt,
And I never wish
To let it out.
But in mind,
It haunts me so
In the darker groves.
And at moments
When I'm alone,
It sneaks on me
With its nasty hold.
It coils around my neck,
It scales the span
Of my body,
Pulling on me
Making me pale
And my body wobble.
Looks me in the eyes,
Hurts me till I cry,
I beg for relief
But I find myself
Escaping to a morbid sleep.
And before I die,
It lets me go.
Grins at me
And I know.
If I bury these things
Again it will show.