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Looking back on my life I've lived very simple  
can't say I've contributed much to this world I find myself
Spent to much of my time day dreaming dreams of yesterday and of days still to come for I was just
Wasted so much of time  
dreaming of things that never would be shut away upstairs In
music playing loudly to block out the sounds of
the world outside my bedroom door hidden away In endless
Maybe I went a hair too far
And maybe should have cared a little more
Maybe I said some things I shouldn't,
But you said you loved me for my candor
I was never one to apologize
And I hate that about myself
But even so I’ll never call you back
Or collect my things from your shelf.
Just know I’ll not forget
The time we spent together apart
Talking about poetry silently
And bashing modern art.
Did you see the signs?
That I valued time most when I spent it alone?
That I love that Keats quote,
“The poet has no identity of his own.”?
For even this is a manufactured feeling
I tell a lot of lies
I never had a loved one
And I live a lot of lives.
What do you want to hear today?
Days oif Heaven with my darling days spent In Heaven that made me feel just like a
Days of Heaven that come once In life time and never again days I thought at one time never to
For I loved my Angel but for a short time we had together  but she has gone back to Heaven to where In
she belongs  my Angel for she has had her time no longer her time time here fo my time but with my Angel but
It's all over
This very day I was snatched from the edge,
My toes were just teetering over the ledge,
My mind is as clear as a brand new fish bowl,
Yet I made preparations to cease with this toll.

A mixture of chemicals, low mood and fear,
Made me think I no longer want to be here,
While I love all who know me, doesn't prevent,
Stop the world, let me off, I'm done paying rent.

But a voice on the line tricked me into defeat,
Using guilt tactics, promises, lies and deceit,
So I'm back to the lull of survival mode now,
For a while at least, step off the ledge, silly cow...

(C) [email protected] 2019
I crashed and burned today, with the clear and present intention to take my own life..
But I reached out and asked someone to talk me round..
And I did what I always do.... I write it away for now
Seanathon May 14
No mention of stars or sea
Or of sky or song
Or of rivers reaching
Roads winding
Or of trees singing quietly
As we walk along
None of it lasts
Nearly half as long
Or compares to the truth
Within the pursuit of you
As we walk along
How a verse evolves with each line.

I like this one.
Life has seemed just like a dream to me It took the loss of my wife to wake me up to
reality that I had hidden from
all my life I lived a life of fantasise
Before my wife I had lived the life of a loner just spent my time In dreams of a yesterday and What things might have been
I thought
never have a relationship or
to fall In love never looked likely to be, considering my life you see that of a loner I had left home town
where I was
after two years of leaving
one day decidin to return home It was to there I met my wife to be my true to be Helen I knew my travel days were done time
to settle
After many years traveling deciding to return home to the place where I was born that where I met my wife to be
Johnny walker Mar 22
Daydreaming now where
I spend most of my time differing In and out of
for I've got nothing
else to do with myself but
to go dreaming of my sweetheart
but sometimes at night when all Is quite I feel alone and the cold wind does blow outside my
It's Helen's voice I think I do hear on the wind calling name just as you did when she called me In
Oh I miss you darling my dearest wife I'm lost here without you living this life
now all alone but as I think of you
and the things we did do, sure brings a smile to my face and I'm happy again because of the time that we shared
Daydreaming Is now were we spend most of my time In thoughts of Helen It all helps me to cope
Johnny walker Mar 11
Days of Heaven spent with my sweetheart whilst wrapped In each other arms so much love did we have an undying
Never to be equalled by another such a wonderful wife and mother my sweetheart and
Days of Heaven spent with Helen my sweet baby wrapped In my arms the smell of her beautiful perfume
Whilst I kissed her sweet so tender lips no more could I have wished then those days of Heaven spent
with my wonderful
Being with Helen to me was like days of Heaven wrapped In her loving arms
Johnny walker Mar 10
Sometimes when I think you and all of those things we used to do still brings so many tears to my
countless numbers of the
times I have cried for
you whilst alone late at night In my
where once we shared so many beautiful moments loving each other
but at leased, you have left me with treasured memories
of all those wonderful days we shared together days of Heaven I had spent with you
And the true love we had for each other thats lifted my spirits to be a much stronger person
So many memories Helen has left me day of Heaven best described
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