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Anais Vionet Jul 15
I sat in restless chairs
I breathed stilted air
what feeling compares
with feeling squandered?

I’m not sadfishing,
I was bored at a 5-star hotel.
I’d swum the Atlantic - in the underground pool
and I felt like I was marinating in boredom.

It was as if the loudest thing in our suite was
the sound of my eyelashes flapping up and down.

I wasn’t in solitary confinement,
Lisa was there too - and just-as bored.
She didn’t complain, 'cause she’s ‘New Yorker’ stoic.
So I started complaining for her - for the team.

We’d filtered every boutique,
sampled every eclectic café,
there’s just nothing to do in Geneva.
It is an implacable reality.

Peter (my bf) was at work all day and we were on vacation.

It’s different when he’s around.
He walks into the room and I feel like
a phone that’s been placed on its charger
- the world lights up and I get - charged.

“We should make a list,” I'd announced, “the pros and cons of boredom.”
“No,” Lisa said, “Let’s name fun things.”

“Fruity Pebbles popcorn,” I started.
“Girl panda makeup” Lisa offered,
“Foot massages and bubblegum”
“Cotton candy and sunflowers”
“Holidays and sparkly things!”
- we went on and on and on and -
“kittens” I updogged dreamily, before I switched the subject completely.

“We need to go to Paris!” I pronounced, excitedly.
“Oh yeah?” Lisa asked, with a little side head-bob.
“Actionable intel,” I whispered, “Grandmère wants to see me.”
Lisa gasped, adding, “You’re in TROUBLE,” drawing the last syllable out slowly.
“That would be a first,” I laughed.

“Kisses!” She exclaimed, resuming the game.
I remembered the first time I thought of kissing Peter. The thought was a flash, an emotional Rorschach test and I smiled. It was like a movie kiss, an abstract heaven - not the breathy, ****** kisses of real life.
“Where’d you go?” Lisa asked, grinning.
Some emotions are too thick for words.
.
.
Songs for this:
Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan
Disco Boots by Gavin Turek
BLT Merriam Webster word of the day challenge: Eclectic: something with a unique and inviting atmosphere.
“Eclectic” is actually a popular style category for coffee shops.

sadfishing - exaggerating an emotional state to generate sympathy
I behave like a baby many hours of the day
Please believe I don't decide to be this way
Someday ill learn to stifle my tears
The sogginess blurring my eyes will clear
When fleeing fears
Run straight into a wall
Instead of arms so I end up on the concrete and crawl
And there I ponder the cause of our confrontations
Looking for obstacle blocking negotiation
Both our lungs breathing in identical air
Clouds of smoke stop from witnessing what's really there
And I am blinded I am afraid to admit
I am lost with clenched jaw refuse to submit
But little by little realize I'm in the wrong
Too stubborn to surrender I stagger along
Eventually begin losing hope of finding our way back
You grab the reins and somehow steer us on the right track
Sometimes touch your surface and my fingers melt through skin
Can't tell if a nightmare or a dream we're living in
I would give any belongings for us to have a fresh start
Careless and free
No wounds on your heart
In blue hues created I tread water so deep
Listen for answers but hear no peep
Earth on axis keeps spinning around
Days passing quickly I lie on the ground
I'm afraid to move too fast so I end up standing still
I feel the person you desire wears shoes I cannot fill
Your warmth a blessing that I truly don't deserve
Putting sun in my sky but what purpose do I serve?
Your magnificence reminder of everything I'm not
So busy drowning in sorrows can't consider the good I've got
Can't imagine a world without watching your smile
Yet I take it for granted by acting hostile
I long to unfold like a paper plane
Flatten folds so I can translate contents of your brain
If I could press a button I'd erase all your concern
A blank slate is impossible so trust I must gradually earn
So I'll write words on pages until you finally agree
You are the only one with the privilege of having me
It is my wish you open your door
Disarm your defenses protecting your core
I know in absence the nights can seem long
Will never break because connection is strong
You take up a large portion of my head
Sometimes don't call just thinking about you instead
Thanks for existing and even more for being there
There are moments I weep over statements said but I never doubt you care
You are simply trying to share wisdom with advice
How you express cannot always be positive and nice
But daily impact you have on my routine
Bigger than you are aware of
Though results are rarely seen
You are refuge from the storm when it rains too severely to stand
Shelter to protect my safety though why I will never understand
Our souls balance like yin-and-yang
I am shade
You are white light
Struggles threaten us
You pull me close and I'm sure everything will be alright
If I wasn't so **** stubborn we would probably fight a lot less... I blame me being a Taurus!
Broadsky Jun 20
Please touch me like you did when things were good
Please touch me like you did when you understood
Please touch me like you did with your hands as strong as alder wood

Please lift my face to your lips with your finger on my chin
Please run your hands down my waist til you get  to the part most thin
Please for the love of God touch me, lying with you doesn’t feel like sin

I stand here in my dress that’s green and white, it has little flowers on it and it fits just right
It’s a little short and if the wind blew it’d fly up like a kite, I figured seeing me dressed up would make you want to take a bite

Why do I feel like I’m struggling to write down these words? Because for me the truth of this hurts to be heard.

My body isn’t lusted for
by the man I adore
Whose sheets I want to lay in and have my body adorned
With the blankets on his bed where we used to whisper the sounds of “more”
Now I’m sitting here looking out the window feeling forlorn

I never thought that at twenty six with all my beauty
that I’d ever have to convince a man to fulfill his manly duties
Why does it feel like it did when I was a kid and the boys in school said “ewww, she has cooties”

Take me amongst the cherry trees, my renaissance man
Let me show you that I’m your biggest fan
I beg you let me feel you in my hands
I miss how you’d ask to feel me and I miss saying “you can”

I am letting things be as they are
and I’m trying not to throw myself at you
but thus far
I’m losing this spar
and I have these “never there before” scars
You were my way home, my North Star
Now this pain just leads me to the bars

I hate to think that there’s a better life for me out there
I don’t want a life full of money or to be with a billionaire
I want lazy Sundays with us not being bothered about what to wear
I want leftovers in the fridge in our spaghetti stained Tupperware
I want to bear you a child and have their name heard and smile seen everywhere

But when I take a step back I see how those are all just silly thoughts
Of the life I could’ve lived had he not “forgot”
The right way to honor me, I say “you can’t be doing this to me again. Surely you cannot, you’ve seen how it deteriorates me and makes me stop eating because my stomach is in knots.”
He says “I love you, how can you say I do not?”

I am growing weary of feeling the same pain
I haven’t seen a tear from your eye
When they used to rain
When you’d see how much you hurt me
Now to this damage I am chained

Yet here I am on a Thursday afternoon
And I can hear me saying “please touch me… because I want to touch you too”
I can hear the sounds of the birds from our tent and emerging to feel the dew
I can hear the sounds of you starting the fire to make us our morning brew

I feel like laying on the floor and letting my record player play
The songs of my favorite artist, she goes by Lana Del Rey
I feel like calling off work, I really don’t feel up to it today
I want to pick up the phone and hear “hop in my car, sugar let me take you away”
I’d ask where we’re going and you’d say
“first get in this Chevrolet and I’ll tell you on the way then will you kiss me baby because i promise you I’m going to make it all okay”
I miss our bodies being one
and I hate being the one
who lost while you’re the one
who
has
always
won
Anais Vionet May 27
Peter (my bf) and I are at Heraclee beach for the weekend.
It’s a little sliver of heaven, about 11 miles south of Saint Tropez.
It’s too early in the season to swim - being breezy and 72°f -
but it’s still the beach. I’m a neophyte beach ***,
but I’m willing and eager to learn.

I’m valuable even if I’m not being productive [I self-affirm].

something poetic-ish..

The sun’s a drowsy tyrant, not yet willing to unforgivingly scorch.
The beach is like glistening sugar, the sand still cool enough to walk, rogue west winds occasionally whip it to an ankle stinging sandpaper.

Majestic umbrella pines are dancing the hula. The shrub-like understory is dominated by drought-tolerant lavenders and rosemary that dense the air with perfume which complements the mediterranean brine.

There’s laughter, off somewhere, like wind-chimes playing clear, just above the ever-roiling sound of the surf. Birds are everywhere, gulls walk around like they’re bored, cory float on air, like kites and petrels skim against the wind, centimeters above choppy waves.

The beach isn’t crowded - French kids are still in school - but a few hardy, oiled, bronzed and sculpted bodies are sprawled on the pristine sand, like offerings to the god of leisure.


Our hotel has its own private cove, with adirondack wooden lounges under yellow parasols. Pastel blue-vested wait-staffers circle, on the quarter-hour, eager to please.
“Deux (two) American Martinis, S'il te plaît! (please),” I ask, expectantly.

It’s a **** beach, but Peter got an alarmed look when I joked I might go *******. “Annick (my older sister) always goes *******,” I informed him.
“I’d like to see that,” he’d chuckled, and when I gave him a raised eyebrow, he amended, “That came out wrong.”
.
.
songs for this..
Summer of Our Love by Triangle Sun
That life by Unknown Mortal Orchestra
The kiss of Venus by Dominic Fike, Paul McCartney
BLT Merriam Webster word of the day challenge: Neophyte: someone who’s just started learning something
Gabrielle May 19
The warm light of afternoon
brings a blur to our harsh wrinkles.
Like a line drawing drafted over and over
after several mistakes.

The blemishes of us bleed and clot like brush strokes
on the painting of a landscape
Fleeting blues, searing orange,
the vista of our bends and breaks.

We sit together, as close as we can,
my nose in the cavity of your neck.
My surplus in the caves you carry,
your tears, lakes in my overbite.

I'll hold your hand holding mine holding yours,
breathe in your breath out.
If nobody is whole you can be my left foot,
and I can be your right.
This poem is about realising the things you thought were wrong about a person are what make you love them.
Anais Vionet May 7
Something’s happening, let’s call it sunrise, for now,
and summer vacation in Geneva, in umm.. 10 hours.
My heart-beat is spiking, like a flag or kite flying.
I’m leaving an empty room - making one last pass with a broom.

I’m stuffing my bag, with the last few things, for escape on aluminum wings.
My dreams, woven in bright, butterfly tapestries, are rolled and folded -
packed between urgent fantasies and harsh, time-sensitive practicalities.

I know you’re there, a quarter-world away, good news, pegasus awaits,
to streak gulf-stream high, over choppy oceans wide with mechanical fire,
its ice-cycle crystal contrail will point, like cherub cupid's arrow, toward you.

Forget pixels, tech instruments, remote lifeline connections,
and prayer-like whispers over thin, criss-crossed wires.
I’m making my move, coming compass-needle true,
to press up close, reintroduce, extemporize and ******.
.
.
music for this:
Someday by Sugar Ray
sunburn by almost monday
This Charming Man by The Smiths
Heaven by Los Lonely Boys
BLT Merriam Webster word of the day challenge: extemporize: to improvise
Do you realize how much you mean to me?
A genuine smile on your face all I want to see
Near to my heart hold the image of your face
It's one piece of you impossible to erase
Every moment we spend together helps carry me through
Lucky to have somebody in my life as special as you
An acrostic I wrote my boyfriend for Valentine's Day
Anais Vionet Apr 13
Peter (my bf) and I were in Paris, about three weeks ago (I was on Spring break, he was on vacation from work).
‘Headstart for Happiness,’ by ‘the Style Council,’ was playing low somewhere.
“This is the kind of starry winter night that guy from the Netherlands used to paint,” I observed.
“If you were writing about it,” he asked, “how would you describe it?”
“Imagine a deep, still blue, hosting a field of luminescent light scatter, and a bashful moon, low in the sky, as if it were hiding in the trees.” I guessed.
“It’ll moonset soon,” he said “within the hour.” he added.
“I never think of moonsets.” I said, looking at the sky like it was new.
“The moon follows the line of the ecliptic,” he said, as if that meant something, “more or less,” he qualified.
“To think I grew up under an undifferentiated sky,” I marveled.

When I’m with him, I can relax, I don’t have to be-on, he’s smart enough.
Of course, I’d come in handy if he went into cardiac arrest or started choking on something.

We were sitting side by side, outside ‘Le Café du Marché,’ a bistro near the Eiffel Tower. Our waiter,  Léo, had just refilled our coffee. It was 9:30 PM and we’d been at this table for about two hours.

We’d reduced the tarte-tatin to a few crumbs forty minutes ago, but Léo knows me and although they're thirty tourists in line for tables, he won’t rush us.

Like puppets dance, we often mimic lines - I don’t know why.
“I was stalking you,” I confided, running a finger along his long-sleeve shirt-cuff.
“I was stalking you,” He said. Our eyes were fixed on each other.
“No, seriously,” I said, moving in much closer, to be serious.
“No, seriously,” He deadpanned back.
“Then I caught you,” I went on, and I was very close now, our lips maybe two inches apart.
“No, I caught you,” he said, smiling as I got very close. “It was ****** Jujitsu,” he softly bragged.
“Wax on, wax off,” I said before I stole a quick kiss.

Peter was shocked, a scooch, by French teens.
If French teens have a crush, especially in Paris, it’s a ‘drop what you’re doing,’ snog-fest - between classes in the hall, on-the-metro, in a coffee shop or grocery store they go-all-in, because love must be stormy, urgent, tinchy.
Here’s a secret. Peter says, “You **** my face, like no one ever has.” It must be the French in me. Ha!

Of course, I learned all I know about love from Taylor Swift.
Let’s see, first, I must be willing to let down my guard - because love can happen at any time.
Love, at its best, is overwhelming, mistake prone, meaningful and powerful - but I can’t assume it’ll last, because my lover may have ulterior motives. I could be hurt or changed by the experience - but I’ll have the memories. Eventually though, I’ll heal enough to try again - with a new set of expectations.

Maybe I’ll even write a song or a poem about it.
BLT Marriam Webster word of the day challenge: Ulterior: motives kept hidden to achieve a particular result.

tarte-tatin  = an apple **** with caramelized apples on the bottom, flaky pastry on top. YUM
scooch = a little
stormy = extremely passionate
tinchy = twitchy, reflexive
Shley Mar 25
I never could've known the life we'd have
When we were young and drunk on discovery.

When you walked into my life like light flooding a room,
I never could've imagined what we'd build together.

As I hold the children you gave me in my arms,
The culmination of our intertwined hearts,
I feel so rich and full and satisfied.

I didn't know then, but I know now, just how beautiful it is to open your heart to another.
Anais Vionet Mar 17
Peter (my bf) had to fly,
was that just last night?
I have attachment issues.
I hate saying goodbye
- it always makes me cry
an embarrassing tear or two.

Holidays go so fast
relativity’s been proven at last!
Fourteen days of leisure
of sordid intertwined pleasures
on days free of study pressures.

This morning i was in despair
splayed out on an uncomfortable chair
with tangled, unbrushed hair
wearing faded PowerPuff underwear
bored, and wishing Peter was there.
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