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Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2019
To everyone who has shown support
Thank you from the bottom of my heart
You have no idea what you have given me
Just by reading each work of art

The validation I always yearned for
Recognition for how much I've put in
Have allowed me to realize I do have true talent
Inside my head within

I appreciate every last view
"Likes" and "Loves" even more
When I see a poem added to a collection
It reminds me what I do this for

It feels good to see my writing trend
And end up on the front page
But that doesn't compare to that time I won the daily
Overnight my poetry was put center-stage

Now "Backspace" is up to almost 50,000 views
Far more than I thought I'd ever get
And the number slowly keeps climbing
It's to all of you I owe this debt

To the one who added one of my haikus
To a collection where it was read
And the one who reposted a song I wrote
Or anyone who shared some of my work with a friend

To each follower who looks forward
To every new piece I create
To all who took the time to send me a private message
To thank me for posting and say they relate

What really fills my soul with pride
Is reading the comments you leave
Some people are so kind and positive
Their encouragement hard to believe

If all the compliments are genuine
And the words they type are true
My achievements are the result of dedication
So I owe my success to the thousands of you

This is for those who consider themselves fans
For the spirits I have inspired
For anyone who has been touched by my rhymes
To make an impact was what I most desired

These stanzas are not an adequate way
To express the depth of my gratitude
But I have no money or other assets
So it looks like y'all are *******

Just know that I do pay for your admiration
In the currency of blood, sweat, and tears,
I've spent more time writing than clocked in at work
And I held a full-time job for five years

So this is my display of love
For all you wonderful people I don't know
And the others I do that have offered praise
And watched my skill develop and grow

I will forever be thankful for how you have helped
My confidence and bravery
Because of you I haven't put down the pen
Whenever a reason to live hard to see

You have no idea how much your thoughts mean
On my worst days this is where I escape to
So this is my way of saying I am appreciative
I couldn't do this without all of you
1000 poem!!!! I can't believe how much progress I have made on here. It's been a couple years but I have found more inspiration and motivation here than the previous eight years without hellopoetry. I thank you all for EVERYTHING! Hope this makes all my followers smile!!!
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2019
Today flipped through my 10th grade journal
Stumbled upon a list
My greatest desires at the time
Things for which I most wished

The first and only thing written
To find someone who loves me
Tells me I'm beautiful every day
When I look and act ugly

Here I am nine long years later
Blessed with that guy
I am still unhappy
Don't know why
True story
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2019
Oh
My toe
Is filled
With woe
Because one
Sad solo
Sock and shoe
Overflows
With wet ice
And freezing snow
But I won't show
Or let anyone know
The cold I feel
Numbing me slow
I know
It will grow
But onwards
I go
So
I guess
My warmth
I owe
To this foe
I realized
Long ago
I can't or won't
Overcome
Overthrow
Or say no
To chilly air  
That through me flows
Without fail
Stealing my glow
Although
I suppose
I'm used to it though
This evil villian
That stays down low
Underneath
My feet
Below
I wrote this nine years ago!
1/3
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2021
1/3
I saw 25 years flash before my tired eyes
Third of my life is over
Older with every sunrise
God I feel old these days
Amanda Kay Burke May 2020
It is a brand new year
Time refreshing once more
I wonder what changes lie ahead
What 2020 has in store
I wrote this at the beginning of the year obvs haha
24
Amanda Kay Burke May 2020
24
It is hard to believe I am 24
Where have years all gone?
I've tried and tried to stop time
Hours continue ticking on
This short life is precious
Existence goes to waste
All the good this world offers
I have had only but a taste
I love watching every sunset
Hate what they all mean
Wish I was still young
Thinking what could've been
Always stuck in the could-haves
25
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2019
25
I am so glad you were born
So happy you're alive
Today is the day
You turn twenty-five!
For one of my best friends in the whole world Jessica for her birthday card. Short and sweet.
Amanda Kay Burke May 2018
You were a dark splash of rain
Looking for laughter to brighten cloudy skies
I was an innocent ray of sunshine
You dimmed my light with your haunting eyes
You have a way of doing that to everyone who gets too close to your storm.
Amanda Kay Burke May 2018
You called me selfish, that stung,
I cannot argue because it's true,
I don't want to be like that anymore,
But especially not to you.

Said I was greedy,
Last thing I expected to hear,
The only thing I am desperate for;
Your presence, need you near.

Self-centered? I can be,
When I am pushed towards the edge,
I have given so much, but not to myself,
Teetering on a shrinking ledge.

Qualities are not perfect or pure,
Weakness reflected in all I do,
You acceot me with my scars and faults,i
But I am going to be a better me for you.
Its nice t[ feel pressure in a relationship because you want to be all they deserve, not because THEY want you to be.
Amanda Kay Burke May 2021
Maybe I have become a bitter beast
Insides numb
To say the very least
Sometimes I am overwhelmed by what I can't control
Sadness disfigured once beautiful soul
Amanda Kay Burke May 2017
I already know what you're going to say,
"I love you, how could you just walk away? "
And because im not quite sure of how i should reply,
I kiss you on the forehead and whisper "Goodbye".
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2019
Your absence still stings
Without you by my side find
I am not myself
An oldie
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
Ghosts in my heart won't leave
Play with feelings then hide
Drive me crazy with unseen tricks
Patience a trait hard to find

Sanity dwindling swiftly down
Falling into an abyss of madness
A vision created with perfection in mind
Deciphered into instructions for false happiness

Remain alive, blueprints collapsing
Dark shadows in my peripheral appear
Asphalt scented with burning regret
Heated by sun, cooled by tears

Left foot in the entryway
Other on the shaking ground
Walk through the threshold
Eyes closed, waiting to be found

As if I am an item worth searching for
Know there's no one looking for me
Pain, sadness, damaged self-esteem
All anyone ever sees

It is 1AM and I'm falling apart
Sheets really constrict and choke
A night lasts an eternity
Swimming in regret and soaked
Ghosts of the past keep haunting me
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
I should have never answered the phone when you called
The fact that you did had me feeling appalled
I never have the resolve to stand by my word
Worked to stay strong but my emotions were stirred
You never got the rejection you should have faced
Instead met with forgiveness you barely chased
I gave in too easily as I always do
Lose all control when it comes to you
Wanted you to experience similar suffering
I should have made you try harder
Should have let the phone ring
Why after two phone calls do I agree to just let you waltz back into my life after YOU abandoned ME for some other *****? It's like you know exactly how to get back under my skin even when you don't deserve it.
Amanda Kay Burke May 2017
How wonderful,
It would be,
If I were,
A canary.

Singing melodies,
Til the fading light,
And pondering,
The stars at night.

And to be loved?
To be adored!
A little care
i could afford.

I wish my days
Were filled with dreams,
Lazy rays
of sunshine beams.

How wonderful
this life must be,
A birdies world
is so carefree.

But what is this?
A darker side?
No place to go
When I need to hide?

When my only home
Is an endless stage,
A performance behind,
The bars of my cage.

Tired and anxious,
Daylight goes dim,
Another sleepless
Night begins.

Wondering if
Ill ever be free,
From the prison thats
surrounding me.

In the blink of an eye
Morning comes pink.
Maybe im more like
a canary than i think.
Amanda Kay Burke May 2017
It seems I'm starting to miss you less,
As every day goes by,
and when I say I'm happy for you?
Now its not just a lie.

It doesn't hurt when you brush by me,
Because I understand,
And there's only a little bit of pain,
When I see you walk, hand in hand.

I could stare into your eyes,
With only a trace of regret,
Because now I have good memories,
and im happy that weve met.

"What couldve been" runs through my head,
Sweet, but all too vain,
Because, in reality,
What would I have gained?

I don't want another chance,
Ive accepted that you're gone,
I just want to be your friend,
and somehow, ill move on.
Amanda Kay Burke Jan 2020
All I know has failed me
Caused me grief and pain
They say I should have learned by now
That the fault lies in my brain

I will try to correct my thinking
Disconnect some wires in my head
So that instead of being hopeful
I'll just suspect the worst instead

I hurt on a daily basis
So maybe it's time to accept
Redirect the patterns in my mind
So that agony I will expect
Sick of getting my hopes up
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
There is no excusing what you did
Not greater betrayal than that
Heavier now than it was before
That is certain fact
Stressing me out more every day
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2019
Most of the people promise to be there
Leave eventually and no longer care
The heart tends to be a complicated matter
Sometimes feelings fade or scatter
But if you patiently wait for the day
You will meet someone who means it when they vow to stay
Written 5-29-19
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2023
(HOOK):
I stand here waiting for you all the time
Hope you recognize before I fall apart
The one question staying on my mind
Is why you keep playing with my heart?
And I've been waiting for a long long time
Sometimes I wonder what made me start
The one question staying on my mind
Is why you keep playing with my heart?

(VERSE 1):
I do not really know just what I'm gonna do
Moving on but eyes close and all I see is you
I do not know why I can't let go of the love we knew
Each night I'm kept up by the image of your eyes so blue
Tell me why it is you I can't get out my brain?
Thought a lot about it and I really can't explain
The way you got thoughts on lock
Mind caught in chains
No longer sure if I'm in love or if I'm just insane
You promised me I'd never have to be alone
Why am I here standing on my own?
Counting on both hands chances I have blown
Figured you of all people would understand though

(HOOK)

(VERSE 2):
Staring at phone
Begging it to ring
To hear that sound again I would give anything
Your voice speaking my name
Even if in a scream
Rather hear you angry here than sweeter in some distant dream
That's the only scene ever get to see your face
Your cold shoulder really put me in my place
Never without your love before you said you needed space
Now I'm realizing you're someone I cannot replace
Running round in circles
Living for thrill of the chase
Believing I can catch you if I pick up my pace
Can't accept days I bravely stayed were all a waste
Need something to show besides moments I cannot erase

(HOOK)
Sung to the tune of Acting Up by G-Eazy
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
You are a child playing dress-up
Wearing clothes too big for you
You think acting like a grown-up
Will make you grown-up too

You talk the talk, walk the walk
Fooling all people you know
They may believe you, I know better
I can see its a show

Living 100 feet from your mother
Doesn't make you mature
You said I let my parents control my life
But your whole world revolves around her

You might have a fancy car
But your daddy gifted the key
Sorry I do not have a vehicle
I don't get expensive presents handed to me

Time turned you into a self-righteous asshold
Your behavior making me sick
I have to be honest, since you moved back home
You have been a pretentious ****
This is funny
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
Sharp guilt is a daily reminder
To improve, try, and follow through
Your pain will be the inspirational image
That allows me to properly show love for you.
For you, I will be better at showing I love you instead of only saying it.
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2018
What good is a day lived alone?
Wasted, nothing but solitude,
Conversations with dusty flowerpots,
Excuses for a bad mood.

Waiting for someone to stop and chat,
Call, or text, or leave a note,
Pour water down your chimney
To assure you stay afloat.

Don't wallow in self-inflicted seclusion,
Go and discover some company,
Instead of spending this weekday alone
Isolated, bitter, reveling in lonely.
Life is better with friends
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2018
Crave you like an addict
Miss your poisonous high
I'm happy without you or drugs
Yet I want you and I dont know why
Your love is my drug
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
I am addicted, I must confess
Lately I've been a distracted mess,
I'm not myself, acting mad,
You are the fix I need bad.

Have cravings in my head
For your presence in bed,
I try to stop them, instead they grow,
Prancing around my mind to and fro.

Falling hard, I isolate,
Care too much so I fixate,
Loved ones think I am depressed,
**** their opinions, I am obsessed.

Bad choices, on another binge,
Melted love fills the syringe,
Tie off arm, find a vein,
Wince as I feel usual pain.

Anticipation comes in a flood,
Viewing the needle awash with blood,
Calm, I slowly push it in,
Quickly remove the point from my skin.

It does the trick, I wait to feel
A high so good it is almost unreal,
The way I go crazy around you
Has me confused; dizzy too.

The rush I get when you get close,
Has me begging for my next dose,
Love is worth the pain that follows,
Empty sickness as your gut hollows.

Desperate to see your face,
Affection is the drug I chase,
My whole world revolves around your touch,
It's unhealthy, you are now my crutch.

It is harmful yet I still ingest,
What fills the heart inside my chest,
This well-known poison I speak of
Is a wonderful substance called love.

It can make you lose a big part
Of yourself, even your heart,
Changes you into someone new,
An unrecognizable statue.

Careful, it's strong enough to ****,
More addictive than any pill,
I'm high off love, need your heart,
Strung out, wishing I could restart.

If I could go back i would,
Turn around before you could,
Poison me with medicine,
"Just say no" before love could begin.

It's way too late for me to quit,
I am controlled by my habit,
Sinking deeper into your abyss,
All I am: a fiend for your kiss.
Metaphor obviously. I think I could have executed it better but it took me like a week to finish as it is. Love is a dangerous habit..
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2019
Sky is grey every long hour
It's a depressing shade
Listening to floorboards creak
Reminding of mistakes made

Ever-fleeting happiness comes to my face
Ending shortly after joy arrives
Beginning with a small smile
That only a short while survives
It's not that you aren't enough to make me happy it's that nothing is enough these days
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
Despite efforts to distract myself from missing you
My stubborn mind obviously has some other plan
Still catch my breath when I hear your name
Try to stop the love felt for you, don't think that I can.
Stop! In the name of love...
Amanda Kay Burke May 2018
Life is a difficult journey
A roaming isolated trail
Sometimes you triumphantly succeed
Sometimes you are gonna fail.

There is no way around it
There are curves and twisty bends
It is a roller-coaster ride
Until the day the madness ends.

Sorrows come along with smiles
Tears may arrive with laughter
There are a few lies in every single
"Happily ever after."

You might trip or stumble
Sometimes you have to fall
There are moments when you hate it
Times you will not care at all.

This path is one worth taking
Wounds will slowly heal
It will take you to a place
Happiness is easy to feel.
I'm still travelling i suppose
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2021
I know I shouldn't talk to you
You deserve far less than that
I tried my hardest for weeks on end
Eventually caved
Your texts I looked at

Wasn't surprised to see how they started
Two variations of 'Amanda, I need'
Then went on to say we had to talk
'Please'
That's all there was to read

Effort unworthy of a reply
I let silence shout instead
Meaning displayed loud and clear
That I had no words to be said

I wanted you to apologize
Admit that you were wrong
At the very least ask me how I'm doing
But your personality is too headstrong  

So after that you say nothing
Guess you've got nothing to prove
It would appear we've got a draw
Both reluctant to make the next move
Amanda Kay Burke May 2018
Before you love me
Know my mind is ****** up with
Pure insanity
Now you have seen my crazy firsthand
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2018
I have been fighting
With my monsters and I am
Afraid of losing
Trying to make the right decisions, and I am, but it is hard to do what is best when it isn't what you want.
Amanda Kay Burke Feb 2018
A frosty evening
Stinging
Grasping onto moonlight
Never releasing hold

The snow breathes
Lives
Quakes gently back and forth
Rocking the earth to sleep

The fog scampers in
Haunting
Blanketing the clammy air
Then abandoning it's call

The wind barks through the night
Mourning
Until day breaches
Unwritten contracts broken
I wrote this a long time ago, i was in middle school so about 10 years ago. I do like it but it is very vague in its essence.
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2019
After infinite loneliness
Found a way out through you
Your embrace ended that time
But also started something new

No one expected us
To fall so fast but we clicked
Fate was not in our control
By a higher power picked

On our own battling the world
Lost souls swept up in tragedy
Appearing to be angels sent
To take away misery

I love you, all that you do,
If you go can I be found?
My fear gets in the way
Making me hard to stick around

I miss you when you are gone
But return and I don't treat you right
It becomes too risky
Don't bother putting up a fight

Because I would rather be alone
Than see you leave someday
Slowly drift apart in time
Don't know why I'm this way
Written 11/17/18
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2022
Soft tender touching
Trapped by our sweet memories
Gentle cage locked tight
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
No longer call you baby
Because we're not in a relationship
I promise you will never feel my arms again
My loyal hand to grip

You will nothing to get any more sleepless nights
Darkness attempts to pull me back
A task that cannot be achieved
Memories fade into the black

My mind finally in a right place
Still support your supposed goal
Through harsh decisions I see the pain
I won't give up hope for your broken soul

Please don't forget the impact I've made
We've shared so much life, and time together too,
I love you, at least the guy I thought you were
You'll always have a part of me, but I'll never have any of you.
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
My heart is slowly falling to pieces
Breaking more each day
I don't understand what I did wrong
But something drove you away

It has to be my fault you fled
I guess you have grown tired
Sick of looking at the one thing
You used to above all else desire

It has been a long time coming
Suspected from the very start
That one day you would come to your senses
Pack your bags and depart

The melodic tones of your voice linger
Echoes haunting my head
Silence keeps me up at night
Restless in my empty bed

The beat of my heart is feeble
I wonder if I am dying
Begging for a shred of relief
But the pain keeps amplifying

Losing track of the days passing by
Irrelevant time spins around
The ticks of the hands moving on clocks
Become another meaningless sound

All I can feel is the throbbing ache
Resonating through my heavy heart
Paralyzed by the grip of agony
As my entire world is torn apart
I hate every second of this
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
Life may be harsh and challenging right now
But know this much is true
I would never choose an easy life alone
Over a difficult one with you
I would rather be freezing outside with you than warm in the arms of someone else n
When pain becomes too great
That pain swallows you whole
Your only scapegoat to blame
Is own forsaken soul

Your mechanism for sleep
Is poisoning your lungs
Be freed of shadows following your feet
All responsibilities and past what you want

When finally you have to fight your fears
In your struggle miss my face
Stay the hell away from here
Complain to heart you didn't break
Written 2-13-21
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