I want to
But then I don't
I don't want to
But then I do
The new girl usually kept to herself,
chose to be alone,
A few would approach her but wouldn't get too far.
She did all she could to stay low key and unknown,
At least that's how it normally was from the start.

Dressed in her favorite attire of velvet, leather, burgandy and long black boots.
Secluding herself in her throne of never ending isolation at the corner of the room.

She only had one goal in mind,
one indecisive boy she was after,
So certain that he was the answer...

Longing and hoping for the hesitant boy with unclear intentions,
to realize he didn't need to fear the love she had for him, without question.

She stayed stuck, glued to her phone
Day after day,
As if her life solely depended on any interaction made.
Every moment she would replay.
He was fuel filling her heart with more than what she couldn't have ever began to imagine was real to ever possibly feel.

Even when what he gave her was nothing more than a few rare simple nothings.
She would do just about anything if it meant he would stay.

Even if it meant not telling him how she felt
In order to remain as close to him as possible in fear of being pushed away...

She loved staying in her own world,
But she couldn't stay in that world forever.
She inevitably had to return right back into reality and face what her situation was in front of her.

Afraid of her new surroundings she'd never interact,
Many people come and go as they always do,
Wondering when she could somehow ever adapt,
She realized she may have spoken too soon...

A girl with a gentle yet sad aura about her,
along with a sad pair of lifeless deadened eyes...
Only revealing that both were longing for something similar.
Just like the girl she found herself gravitating towards this time...
Special poem I decided to write this morning after being off of this site for years it seems.
The Toxic Bitch Dec 2018
New
My heart is beating so fast
I hate it
I hate it because it's you
I know it's not my first
Definitely not the best
But i don't know
This feels different
I kinda of regret
Kind of wanna go back again
You could see how indecisive i am
It's because
I don't your intentions with me
I hope it's for the good
Am never this confused
Everything will clear up soon
I hope so
-Oy
.22.dec.2018.
At times I can be very indecisive.
One minute I can know exactly what I am doing.
Or know exactly what I want.
Then the next have no idea.
Especially having
All of my favorite things presented to me at once.
I admit.
It gets troublesome.
One decision seeming to be better than the next.
Venturing from one height to the next.
Each of my favorite things jumbled into one
big idea that seems to good to be true.
Eventually I make a decision
If by some chance I am dreaming don't pinch me.
Let me enjoy all of my favorite things in complete chaos.
While I pause for moments longer.
Taking in the sight of all my favorite things.
Stare back at me in contemplation.
While any and everything sounds good.
Long as I am with you everything gets that much better.
Knowing that all of my favorite things consist of you
nightdew Dec 2018
you make your twists and turns,
indecisive which route to take.

i pound the windshields,
hands in fists, thumming.

you hiss a profane,
steering a sharp turn.

i choke down a gag,
eye bulging,
tears a stream.

you peer my way,
hot breath hitting my skin,
droplets of spit splashing onto me.

i turn away reaching for the door,
the poison violating my skin,
acidity burning me alive.

you don't let me go,
digging your nails into my epidermis,
it goes deeper, popping a vein.

i scream with all my might,
blood begins to pour.

you yank me back in place,
prohibiting my escape.

i stay silent,
adrenaline pumping,
heart thumping,
brain throbbing.

you release me,
scowl neatly placed on your face,
dark brows furrowed, narrowly.

i take the chance,
slamming my feet on the dirt,
breath heaving,
i run, run, run.

you shout yet another insult,
dare i not say,
for freedom, i come.
take the chance when you get it, plan your escape.
julianna Nov 2018
Everything begins with I,
Impulsivity and Indecisiveness.
These two words go together, my
Impulsivity and Indecisiveness.
They make me say or not be able to,
Impulsivity and Indecisiveness.
They usually come in a pair, the two,
Impulsivity and Indecisiveness.
I know that they will go away,
Impulsivity and Indecisiveness.
But some days they just flood my brain,
Impulsivity and Indecisiveness.
Elizabeth Brown Nov 2018
What we have become is
'easier than'

Easier than fighting,
easier than being alone,
easier than starting fresh with someone new.

What if the only reason we're seeing this through
is some twisted form of convenience?
Some roundabout portrayal of what's easier than
staying home alone in our rooms.
Months and Years of preparation, dashed in an instant
through a letter, one Form or another.

We keep trying to pick up the pieces
because it's easier than looking into each others' eyes
and admitting we just don't work anymore,
if we ever worked in the first place.
The longer I stay in this dark place
the less likely the latter seems, if I'm honest.
I want this to happen.
It'd be easier than being without you.
Would it?
Would it really?
Or would it just be easier than starting over?
lovelywildflower Nov 2018
i am very indecisive
i cannot decide anything
this or that
i don't know
but i know one thing for sure
and that is
i want to be with you for the rest of my life
i am very indecisive
but this
i'm 100 percent sure of

Strawberry Oct 2018
You can be full of life
Bursting with it
Growing hope inside you
Nauseous with happiness
Heart beating with uncertainty

It takes 5 minutes to ***** it away
One choice
One decision
To throw you into a lifetime of
Pain and over thinking
Little sacrifices cause big waves
Michael Sep 2018
I should have listened to my mother,
She told me to think before I act.
After all the struggles in life I wish I could take my thoughtless actions back,
But I can’t so that’s that.


Running this race of life,
Leaves you feeling like you just might,
Get up and disappear into the night.
I don’t want to do that, I know it’s not right.
But here I am thinking I just might.

A life of bad decisions,
Thrown in with indecision,
Mixed up with a total lack of precision,
Has left my soul feeling like I’m missing.

It’s too late to change the past,
But I need to move fast to make the future last,
And indeed to watch the present pass.
Life could have been easier, it could have been a blast.
Looking back and missing now
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