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2d · 191
None Shine
The sun does not shine as bright these days
Always cloudy overhead
Wonder when my blue skies changed
Shifted to grey instead
I didn't even notice
2d · 48
Matchbox 20
LEAVE me alone here like you always do
ALL YOUR REASONS would be justified if any were true
You are probably OVERJOYED without my face around
Which makes me so ANGRY I can't make one sound
I WILL spend my time SLEEPING AT THE WHEEL
I'LL BELIEVE YOU WHEN you say I've caused you too much pain to heal
COULD I BE YOU for a day?
I'd like to switch spots
Maybe then I'd discover that YOU'RE SO REAL
But probably not
I HANG up your photo on my bedroom  wall
YOU WON'T BE MINE yet I continue to fall
You have been my CRUTCH now for far too many years
And underneath this BED OF LIES is a pile of HAND ME DOWN fears
I play OUR SONG on repeat despite the fact it makes me cry
You beat my heart til bruised and BENT without explaining why
Love is a DISEASE and THESE HARD TIMES serve as proof
I escape THE REAL WORLD by hiding under this roof
I had A LONG DAY and even longer night
The path that marks HOW FAR WE'VE COME is dotted with BRIGHT LIGHTS
For a moment I think there is a chance for us to get BACK 2 GOOD
But I PUSH those thoughts away because I should know we never could
IF YOU'RE GONE I am UNWELL which means I'm sick all the time
Up til 3AM wishing there was a way to make you mine
BLTs band challenge
Drowning in tears you caused me to cry
An ocean of fear
Can't swim
Loneliness suffocates and I don't know why
Room more comfortable dim

You looked back with remorseful eyes
Your mistakes written in major key
Held a plethora of perplexing replies
Words struggling to get free

Biting tempted tongue
Teeth standing ground
Barricading thoughts behind bars
Imprisoned
Forced to run round and round
Their footprints fade to scars

Paid the ultimate price for pure love
I am pained and poor
The same sun that once shone above
Sinks from sky to settle on the floor
4d · 22
De Nile
Are you in denial or just determined to hide
From us the demons you battle inside?
I can't tell if you are truly mad at me
Or mad at yourself for the things you cannot be
Maybe it's both but it isn't fair to blame
Me for the person you became
You'll say it's my fault like you always do
But its obvious the fault is in you
I hope you'll come to your senses and find
Whatever caused the reasons behind
Your actions have nothing to do with anyone
Besides you so accept what you've done
I try to have your back even when I disagree
The truth would have emerged eventually
To you it's easier to deny than to accept
Responsibility for the secrets you've kept
I hope you realize you are the one in the wrong
And that you have the power to be sober and stay strong
Maybe we are both better off this way
Then again perhaps not
Who is to say?
Soon you will forget everything about me
With exception of my name and what you thought we would be
But it is impossible for for me to do that too
I will always care too deeply for you
I've come to the conclusion you are happier now
Albeit I cannot quite comprehend how
Back when together I could tell I meant to you the most
In my present exist only as a gnawing ghost
A wall bloomed between
Was completely unaware
Too late I finally opened my eyes and saw it there
New emotions have taken root in your heart
Resulting in us being driven even further apart
I wonder if you love her more than you used to love me
Why it has to hurt so bad to set the things you cherish free
Now waking up is hard to do,
Sleeping's impossible too,
And everything's reminding me of you,
What can I do?
It's not right, not okay,
To say the words that you say,
Maybe we're better off this way...
-Maroon 5
7d · 46
Not Titled
It's rare to find that one-of-a-kind connection
Those who do take care with the utmost protection
Genuinely hoping to keep safe and sound
In doing so don't realize it's come unwound
Truly good intentions are not enough to prevent your love from caving
Listen to my warning before what you have is beyond saving
Jun 3 · 428
Serious
If serious at all
We would be together right now
Here I am
Alone
Trying to figure it out
Don't blame him for acting like a clown, blame yourself for going to the circus
Jun 3 · 176
Painted Smile
I paint me a smile

But today my made-up colors smudge

You can see frown visible underneath

Dim
Distressed
And too distorted to hide
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay while
-Adam Levine (from Maroon 5)
Jun 3 · 128
Down Pat (Haiku)
We all have issues
Harbored in our soul's marrow
Passed down and down pat
Whether we show it or not everyone has their demons to face
May 31 · 89
My Worst Enemy
Time is my very worst enemy
Stealing youth and my bliss
Forcing to look back in regret
All the things I now miss

Never saw the end coming
Thought life gave me more room
As I get older the faster I'm pulled
Death's infinite vacuum

Gazing into unsure future
Only a sliver of hope
Afraid to peek down
I'm walking a tightrope

Knew time was limited
Aware I am blessed
Many others would **** to be me
Somehow I'm still depressed

Let somebody else take my place
The problems that come with it too
Just wasting my time day after day
Wish I could start over new
I was stuck at the end so finally just left it at that
May 31 · 274
Bleeding Out Inside
I am bleeding out inside
Painfully torn apart
I wear a mask each day
Hiding my broken heart
May 26 · 1.3k
Rainclouds
I continue waiting for the storm to end
Your raindrops to stop falling down
I think I must be fooling myself
Every time you let me drown
May 24 · 67
Loved Me More
I should have loved myself more
You a little less
Then I wouldn't have lost myself
In your spellbinding caress
May 22 · 224
Dream Stalker
I miss you all hours of the day
More throughout long nights
Curled up next to somebody else
It just doesn't feel right
I lie awake for an eternity
Memories in my head
Wishing it was me there with you
Instead of her beside you in bed
When finally my mind drifts off
Expecting sleep to bring relief
It is a blessing and a curse
You always haunt my dreams
Sigh
May 21 · 99
A Bitter Beast
Maybe I have become a bitter beast
Insides numb
To say the very least
Sometimes I am overwhelmed by what I can't control
Sadness disfigured once beautiful soul
May 21 · 108
Firecracker
Live as if you were a firecracker

Which burns out too soon
Makes such an impression
Worth it

But the gunpowder is what makes the explosion worthwhile
Not sure if this even makes sense but oh well
May 21 · 52
Come And Gone
I wonder where I went wrong
My best days have all come and gone
May 19 · 53
Devotee
I look at you and wonder
What you see in me
Because when I look into the mirror
I only see what I can't be

You have witnessed me at my worst
Yet still treat me as if I am gold
Even when I have had a ****** morning
And take it out on you by acting cold

I never suspected we'd hit it off
You didn't seem to like me at first
But some invisible line drew you in
By the universe's hand were coerced

So I knew it probably wouldn't work
But figured it was worth a try
What do either of us have to lose?
Except the time that passes by

I hate gazing upon your face
When it is concerned and full of hurt
Wish I cared enough to change
Instead I respond by being curt

Yet you remain by my side
No matter how little I deserve it
I keep waiting for the day
You finally get fed up and split

And as I sink into addiction
I fear you too will be dragged under
Directly affected by my every move
Negatively impacted by each blunder

I listen to your words of advice
Can't seem to apply them to my routine
Know what's best for me before you say
Wisdom and willpower I am stuck between

You just want to stifle my sadness
Believing you know how
But trust me if there was a way
I would have figured it out by now

Sometimes I just need a hand
To clutch when I get scared
And wait patiently while my own fingers
Slowly render my damage repaired

You see my untapped potential
And the best of who I am
I think I'm no good for you
But you don't give a ****

Don't say I didn't warn you
To stay the hell away
You ignored my futile attempts
Despite the risk you chose to stay

I hope I can treat you better
Improve my actions and soul
Before my obscene lifestyle
On yours starts taking a toll

Thank you for doing little things
To see my crooked smile
And overcome my bad attitude
When I am hardened and hostile

If you decide its too much to handle
I wouldn't blame you for giving up on this
But if you are determined to stick around
I devote myself to you with every kiss
May 18 · 60
Hardest Habit To Break
If we were kids again
This time I'd love you right
I was so much happier then
Filled with warmth and light

You were the sunshine illuminating my sky
Permanent smile on my lips
Looking back it makes me cry
The way I watched your love eclipse

Loved you unconditionally
Which means that I still do
Although you no longer feel the same about me
Can't control how I feel about you

You and I were water and fire
Together we both made steam
But it wasn't just lustful passion or desire
It was everything I'd ever dreamed

Why do all good things have to end?
You were there by me through the worst
Not only my partner
Also my best friend
I tripped and fell for you headfirst

Shouldn't have let you slip away
Made sure my grip was tight
Done more to make you want to stay
Put up an even bigger fight

I tried my best to change your mind
Make you see that I'm the one
But I guess I was a step behind
Because you were already done

I won't beg for you like you did me
Instead gracefully let you go
If you love something you set it free
Though it kills me to do so

For your happiness is all I want
I yearn to hear your laughter
Even if that means viewing you flaunt
Your new happy ever after

You may not deserve it
But I am glad for you all the same
I understand why you chose to quit
We both are equally to blame

I long to scrub your name from my skull
Or to hate you for breaking my heart
But I can't shake the magnetic pull
Hypnotizing me from the start

You don't have to say a word
Know me all too well
All it takes is a touch
It's absurd
And I am put under a spell

I don't know why you do this
Waste my time with games and lies
Heal wounds you inflict with a kiss
Why bother to apologize?

Wear me out while leading me on
Too exhausted to stand
Then after completing a marathon
Without reason suddenly disband/
Don't even offer a helping hand

You just leave me heaving on the ground
Out of time and out of breath
Without looking back or turning around
Not caring about my life or death

You keep me on the back burner
Explain how that is fair
I may not be the fastest learner
But I'm not totally unaware

Yet despite your blatant neglect
I remained steadfast through the tears
When arguing showed each other disrespect
But we lasted many long years

You didn't take life too seriously
In contrast to my heavy heart
We balanced each other perfectly
Relationship a work of art

The joy was worth the suffering
I'd go through the same hell twice
To experience the ecstasy you bring
Willingly make any sacrifice

I am sure you no longer think about me
But your image never leaves my brain
Can't stop myself from acting crazy
Your absence drives me insane

There were many times of strife
But many more of peace
I have no purpose without you in my life
Helpless as I watch my self-worth decrease

I am torn into a million shreds
The future we planned for now shattered
As we sleep in separate beds
I scramble to catch the shards that scattered

Yet you somehow are still intact
I haven't witnessed one cut
Wonder if your composure is an act
Because I am anything but

Got holes all over my body
Invisible to the naked eye
Bleeding out hope and dignity
Just not enough to die

I hate the 'now' I am forced to inhabit
Because the present doesn't hold you
More ****** up than I dare to admit
Nobody has a clue

Most days I hang on by my fingernails
Barely getting through the sleepless nights
Don't pay attention to any details
Cannot tell black from white

Nothing makes sense without you here
Surroundings just colors and shapes
Living out my very worst fear
With nowhere to hide or escape

You are my sanctuary
The happy place I run to in distress
Now the closest I get is memory
But it suffices less and less

I trust that in time you will realize
What a huge mistake you are making
But if you come crawling back don't be surprised
If my love isn't there for the taking

I yearn for the seasons to ease the sorrow
Drenching my weary soul
And patiently wait for an easier tomorrow
To replace the bliss you stole

You threw away my affection
Without a second thought
As swiftly as you change direction
Our time together you've forgot

You'll be sorry when you feel regret
Because you always eventually do
But I'm done being your marionette
Manipulated by you

It will be the hardest habit to quit
I know I'll still love you for an eternity
No matter how much it saddens me to admit
I suppose we are not meant to be
My 26 years owed to you
Imagining what your body went through
The process of growing a fetus inside
Just the thought
It makes me terrified
I am grateful you sacrificed a lot for me
At times I made it less than easy
I apologize
Being spiteful and selfish
Unintendingly making life hard and hellish
I'm sure now you are getting tired
Patience and strength I have always admired
You try your best no matter what obstacles we face
Whether police or teaching the proper way my shoes to lace
I am sorry for hurting you
For making you sad
I hope when looking back at our time you picture the wonderful moments we've had
Not tears and heartache
The stress when I didn't call
My trivial trifling tantrums
Me hitting and kicking the wall
You have beautiful surface as well as a beautiful soul
Can tell the worry I've caused has taken a noticable toll
I hope I make you a little proud despite my many flaws and mistakes
Understanding that I have broken your heart is the reason my own aches
You are the world's most amazing mom
You really go the extra mile
Forgive me for this card is late but I hope it made you smile
You set my heart up on a shelf
Way too high for me to reach
So I can't take it down myself
Therefore you I must beseech

Heard the thoughts you left unsaid
Swear I can almost read your mind
Expression betrays what's in your head
To not read your face have to be blind

Coming to a reluctant acceptance
On the cold side of your shoulder
That I must live without your presence
To accompany me as I grow older

Hooking up with someone new
Doesn't really help at all
Because I compare everyone to you
Making it impossible to fall

Rusted trust is decomposing
Like cars in forgotten junkyards
Pits in my soul created by eroding
Leave my insides hollowed and scarred

If I only I could stop the sorrow
Cover ears but it still trickles in
Wish there was laughter I could borrow
To drown out echoes of your voice within

I try to track down explanations
For why things suddenly went wrong
Hindsight still sees no indications
Pointing to you saying "so long"

One moment we held each other tight
The next we were pulling apart
We swiftly went from kissing goodnight
To seperate beds and broken hearts
This reminds me of the song by Keith Urban "You'll Think Of Me"
May 15 · 43
Dig It Out
You really broke heart this time
Feel worse
It goes through my brain
Betrayal playing on repeat
A constant source of pain

Like splinter underneath soft skin
Sliver of our shattered trust
Worked it's way too deep to see
Dig it out I must

Swearing you learned your lesson again
Words like pebbles in my shoe
"Sorry" returns with a vengeance
No matter what we say or do

For the doubt only you seem to benefit from
Anger gets us nowhere as well
Sick and tired of hitting brick walls
If you know a way to help please tell
May 15 · 55
Seconds Tick Down
Seconds tick down
I pause to reflect

Minutes stretch
The monotonous length of nothingness

Hours loom
Lonely
Inevitable

Days I cannot escape

Months feel like self-created prison

Hanging on by thread of sanity

Analyzing same problem a million different ways
Because I am the queen of overthinking
May 15 · 94
Unmigrated (Haiku)
Have heard birds singing
What I love most about May
Flocks flying back home
May 10 · 188
Foolish Mistakes
I spend nights in bed wide awake
Thinking about each past foolish mistake
May 9 · 46
Some Things
Some things in this world hard to explain
It's enough to drive a head insane
I've seen a lot
Impossible feats
Tricked by illusions
Convincing deceit
Sometimes mysteries are not visible in the light
First must be cloaked in the darkness of night
May 6 · 212
Loveable
What about me do you find loveable?

You do much more than I deserve

What are redeeming qualities?

You and I go way back
I feel it's more than that

Why?

You do all you are able to make me happy

I do what I can to make you happy
Your efforts are equivalent to a greater amount than my own

I do not understand your love
Welcome it all the same
Your everything
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