You are the greatest mom I could ever have
You're cruel occasionally when you get mad
You are cold on surface but I know inside
Warm heart is cloaked with fear and pride
And I love you but have a difficult time showing
Settle for easy words I like throwing
I apologize that dark mood cuts deep
True intention was never to make you weep
Cigarette-scented squeezes cement bond
Cradled in arms I need no facade
Wisdom and warmth woven into your skin
Every night protect from the howling wind
Soft as a whisper your tender touch
Your edges are calloused but never too rough
You cast eyes away from my flaws
Silent disappointment inevitably cause
You hold me in the highest regard
Watching my crimson spill must be hard
The vividness of your personality
Like constellations coruscate originality
Yet not a single celestial entity compares to you
You are full of magic in everything you do
Displaying your radiant colors to all
No matter how heavy
Catch me when I fall
Believing to be beautiful
Actually am a sorry sight
Telling the truth when it hurts because that is what's right
You kiss wounds so that better they feel
Blind to my ugly parts as if they aren't real

There is no excusing what I did
Loss of remaining trust
Answer me one question
Is it too late for us?

Since that day you stare at me differently
In eyes is a hint of resentment
Every time I'm interrogated by you
Feel on trial and I'm the defendant

I need no bible to be truthful
I'm atheist anyways
Have no problem owning up
To my wicked ways

Whether being honest or not
Going to believe what you want
"Guilty" verdict already cast
Don't even put on a front

If we are partners
Will be able to move past
Want to gain your faith back in me
The only way to make this last

**** I'm getting so frustrated with the short change.  I wake up in the morning with 15 or 20 posts to read on my home page but can only view about 6 or 7 of them because that's as far back as the scroll function will allow.  I go to peoples pages and I can only scroll back 4 or 5 posts into their past.  I go to my favorites or my comments same thing no more going way back into the past.  I want everyone to email Eliot at  eliot@hellopoetry.com  and complain.  Maybe that will move him to solve this problem for us.

Every morning I wake up next to you
Afraid our time is running out
Wondering when you'll stop loving me
All day long I'm plagued by doubt

Havoc wreaked on my insecure brain
I am unable to process why
You could give your heart to anyone
Yet drop it in hands that hardly try

Don't you realize I am not strong enough
Are you blind to my numerous flaws?
Reliant on you to stand on own feet
I just can't comprehend the cause

I worry I am a storm sent to disrupt
Your peace in a second or two
Yet even after months of tolerating my rain
You hold me down through and through

Across the spectrum of devotion
I fear we reside on opposite ends
Strive to continue making progress
So every cut inside you mends

I am aware you look and see no apparent results
Your disappointment affects me more than you know
Lost in the fog of dependency
Glimmer of hope to you I owe

Playing your voice over and over in my mind
Making sky seem blue when it's grey
I have given you the key to my heart
Promise me you won't throw it away

I caved and let you peer into my soul
When I hear your breath it makes me feel alive
Connecting with the invisible tethers tugging
Your encouragement fuels my once waning drive

Stress melts away when you hold me in your arms
Within my body a fire is lit
Trying to evolve into the image you desire
There are times I'm convinced it'd be easier to quit

I stopped counting my apologies
Sure you hate the way "sorry" sounds
Forgiveness hanging from strings hung high
Echoing through darkness that surrounds

Spoken words simply empty air
They still hit harder than a stone
Their meaning beats me black and blue
You might leave me behind here
All alone