"Will you always love me?"
The question is absolutely ridiculous; I have loved her a million lifetimes before, and I will love her for a million lifetimes after.
Our souls mesh and fit every inch of each other.
Our minds are forever connected, and our hearts are perfectly intertwined.
"Will you always be.."
"Mine?" I finish for her, like many sentences she speaks.
My answer is a smile, a true and genuine smile.
A smile that, before her, never had graced my lips before.
She possess every single speckle of my being,
my organs were utterly useless before I donated them to her.
Her hands fit in mine perfectly,
and my skin is electrified by simply brushing up beside her.
"I love her."
I tell my mother's headstone, when I catch up with the grass and trees in the graveyard.
Four years have flown by, and everyday I am still more in love than the last.
When we're good we're great, and when we're bad we're good.
"She's the one" the stars hear my thoughts,
a constant running track in the style of an infinity symbol;
every grain on it being a vision of only her.
"She is my world"
and I live for her, every. single. day.
i feel like a part of my life is missing without you by my side. when my heart felt like it was made of iron and when my mind was a tangled ball of yarn i went to you, you were my fucking muse and my inspiration to keep myself going and when we ended nothing ever felt right again, nothing sits right in my heart, i feel like the pieces are trying to fit together but there's always one part missing and that part is you. i always thought we had the purest form of friendship, it was past the point of being best friends, we were just the same person. we never had secrets, there wasn't really anything we couldn't tell each other. i fucking miss you. maybe this is what being in love is. i used to think people were supposed to make you grow as a person, not complete you, especially the people you fall in love with, but fuck, losing you made me rethink that entire theory. i don't feel complete anymore. the most important person in my life left and i feel like my batteries have run dry. you left and it feels like parts of me are gone, dissolved away in the fluidity of your departure. this is love. the people you fall in love with complete you. you can find different people to complete you, but no two will ever fill in the same missing pieces. you knew exactly where i was sad and you healed me. you filled in the blanks where i couldn't myself. it's been a year and i haven't stopped feeling incomplete.
Hang a picture of me up on your wall.
Don’t forget me, I was your first love.
I’d also like to be your last, you were my first and only friend.
It felt as if you wanted to hang me from the tree, all your screams were choking me, they were the rope that held me captive.
I couldn’t see past the tears, they blinded me.
They blinded me from seeing you walking away.
They remained sketched into my memory whenever I thought of you, my first and only friend, lover, soulmate.
First, you hanged me on tree of love, and I felt warm, happy, a life worth wanting.
Then you hanged me on the tree of worry, and I couldn’t asking, ‘Are you okay?’ ‘Why aren’t you talking to me?’ ‘Is there someone else?’’
Lastly, you hanged me on the tree of heartbreak, and I couldn’t breathe, move, or speak.
I asked you why, but you didn’t say anything to me.
I screamed at you, and you showed me your back.
I fell to the ground and weeped as you laughed.
I wanted you, and only you to be my sweet, until you hung me on that fucking tree and left me weak.
Hang a picture of me up on you wall.
Don't forget me,
I was your first love.
I wanted to be your last.
You were my first and only friend.
Also my first and only love.
But, things change.
It felt as if you wanted to hang me from a tree.
All your screams were choking me, they were the rope that held me captive in your terror.
I couldn't see past the tears, they blinded me.
Blinded me from seeing you walk away.
The bruises on my neck remained etched into my memory,
whenever I thought of you.
My first and only friend.
First, you hanged me on the tree of worry, and I couldn't stop asking.
Are you okay?
Why aren't you talking to me?
Is there someone else?
And then it was the tree of heartbreak, and I couldn't breathe.
I gripped the rope as hard as I could and sucked in air, trying to hold on.
Trying not to shatter, just like my heart.
I screamed at you, and you showed me your back.
I finally released my self from the noose, falling hard.
Weeping while you laughed.
I wanted you, and only you.
To be my sweet,
Until you hung me on that fucking tree,
And left me weak.
Every time your eyes touch me
my skin flushes hot and my heart tears open
making room for the love you pour into me
Every time you gift me affection
my energy reaches through miles
holding your pain until it heals in the depth of my truth
Every time you bare more of yourself to me
you fill my essence with your light
making me strive to be better than I thought I could be
Every moment you love me more intensely than the one before
it surprises me anew
proving minutes of pure love are stronger than a lifetime of tepid affection
I think about the future like
I am trapped inside of the recurring dream
That I have had
Every single day leading up to the one
In which I meet you.
I ask you in sheer vulnerability
Honesty floating between our lips
Why you love me
And your answer, I will never forget
Your response carved itself
In the memory, that I am yet to make
You take a breath, open your eyes
And spill to me the hottest tea of
How your love came to be...
I pray that my cup runneth over.
I slowly sip every word
And every verb quenched my thirst
I pray that chamomile never goes out of style
This is peace.
Like honey, slowly it flows
And it settles at the bottom
Sweetens my soul
I wonder if you know.
As the last drop settles on the back
Of my tongue
I am certain,
You have infused your love within me
Now, I am calm.
Time passes by, I get lost into your eyes
And I’m brought back to earth
As I open mine,
The sun shines through the windows
Lighting up my room
I hold on tight
Already missing you.
I will impatiently wait
To see you again when I sleep
One night closer, to the day we meet.
You are my forever.
Temporarily trapped in my dreams.
I would wander a desert, because you are my water.
I would sail the ocean blue for years on end, because you are my new continent.
For decades I would search for a cure, because you are my sickness.
Late nights, long hours, and endless drives. All in search of what I lost.
Oh what I would do for you.
I would stay up all night to keep you company while you studied.
Seconds, Minutes, Hours, Days, Weeks, Years, Decades.
All irrelevant when I am with you.
I do not need coffee to keep me up, you are my energy.
I do not need sleep, because you are my rest.
My love for you is like a circle; it has no beginning and knows no end.
I love you.
Crystal blue waves lapped against the shore.
The sun began to set.
Wind gently brushed through the palm trees, rustling the leaves. Tenderly shuffling the birds who rested insides its leafy embrace.
Looking down the beach I could see her standing there.
She was always there. She was always smiling.
Her eyes were closed as her hair gently blew in the wind, face lit by the dying embers of the day’s last breath.
Every moment in time was captured in her simple existence.
Every toil and pang was expressed in her sheltered eyes.
I waded through the mushy sand towards her, thinking of how it would feel to hold her close.
I pictured her turning towards me, opening her eyes, and opening her arms to embrace me.
The sand slugged between my feet.
Every step was erased by the oceans never ending grasp on the beach.
The closer I became the more I saw of her beauty.
Her brown hair seemed to hold an infinite amount of splendor, as if all of creation had taken a rest on her strands of hair.
They say that the journey is better than the destination.
Maybe they are right.
Maybe my image of her would overshadow her actual presence. Could it be that her simple existence was nothing but a shadow compared to my artistic portrait of her?
I was almost there.
The person I had waited my entire life for was a mere walks distance from where I stood.
I was not wrong, I knew that every glorious detail he had longed for was true.
As I stood there staring at my life’s desire, she turned towards me and opened her eyes.
This was it, this was the moment I had dreamt of for so long.
As our eyes met, a lump formed in my throat and tears welled up in my eyes.
She was perfect.
Inside of her eyes I could see everything.
Every single wish I had ever made was inside of those two spheres. They glistened in the orange glow of the setting sun.
Like two pools holding the one soul meant for me.
I only have so much space to offer now.
You have taken so much of it.
One area is filled with the memory of our first kiss; which takes up several acres.
Over there is the memory of your smile, which takes up a whole state.
There are several dozen blocks designated to memories of movies we saw together.
Three states are filled up with songs you said reminded you of me.
I have so little free space.
Every thought I have bumps into a memory of you.
Every time I try to remember if I forgot something at the store, your smile rises to the front of my mind's queue.
How much longer will you own land in my mind?
I have so little space left.